Ladies, No Cuddling Please

[Pococurante]

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (AP) -- A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer.

I have a new avatar - psycho sports dude... :P

[WayAbvPar]

Sometimes you just wanna watch the fucking game!


I do think he overreacted slightly. Claw hammer? OWWIE.

[Paelos]

Come on, in this situation, we all know it's self-defense. After all any dispute that's in Useless News ends in a detatched wang if the men don't act quickly and decisively.

[Signe]

[Cheddar]

My question is why she was not in the kitchen making pie or washing dishes.  I think killing her was a bit extreme, but a sound thorough beating with a couple black eyes would have her right in her place.

[Llava]

"The defendant struck his wife approximately 70 individual blows after spending a happy interlude with her," the judge said. "Her desire to cuddle after sex does not justify the extremely violent, brutal response of the defendant."

I like how the judge talks about the cuddling.

"Despite the fact that she wanted to cuddle, bludgeoning her to death with a hammer was not justified."

What's wrong with cuddling?  I like it.   :-(  I especially like it one hell of a lot more than watching SportCenter.

[WayAbvPar]

What's wrong with cuddling?  I like it.   sad  I especially like it one hell of a lot more than watching SportCenter.

But how does your boyfriend feel about it?

[Cheddar]

What's wrong with cuddling?  I like it.   sad  I especially like it one hell of a lot more than watching SportCenter.

But how does your boyfriend feel about it?

I do not enjoy it at all.

[tazelbain]

What? Can't cuddle and watch sports?
Multitask people, multitask!

[kaid]

that is why you have a TV in the bedroom look over her shoulder for petes sake.

kaid

[Paelos]

that is why you have a TV in the bedroom look over her shoulder for petes sake.

kaid

But, but, THE PLAYOFFS!

[Samwise]

What's wrong with cuddling?

Too warm.

[WayAbvPar]

And sticky. 

[Shockeye]

And sticky. 

Especially when it's that time of the month...

[NowhereMan]

I certainly agree with this man's attitude. As a devout catholic I of course disapprove of murder but I heartily approve of this man's unwillingness to engage in any kind of intimacy other than that required as our unfortunate duty to Jesus. This man's problem clearly stems from his wife not having brought up with an appropriate shame of having to engage in "relations". Any real wife should of course spend the time after "relations" locked in the kitchen softly weeping to herself and praying to God to forgive her for being a filthy whore.

And also baking pie, maybe cherry.

Edit: And Shockeye, Ewwww....

[Shockeye]

Edit: And Shockeye, Ewwww....

I should probably stop posting.

[Llava]

What's wrong with cuddling?  I like it.  I especially like it one hell of a lot more than watching SportCenter.

But how does your boyfriend feel about it?

Shit.  I should've qualified that sentence.  Oh well, I walked right into it I suppose.

[HaemishM]

And sticky. 

Especially when it's that time of the month...

/shudder

[Jain Zar]

Shit like this is why some of us are always cranky.  Yeah.  Cant get a date to save my life yet assholes like this are even allowed to have genitals, much less use them... 

[Cheddar]

Shit like this is why some of us are always cranky.  Yeah.  Cant get a date to save my life yet assholes like this are even allowed to have genitals, much less use them... 

You have to talk to women to get a date.  Not poking fun but that seems to be the problem many of my friends have.  And myself for that matter.

[Paelos]

I talk to women, but I have a problem with being attracted to the extremely vapid ones physically, and a moment's conversation identifies that they don't read, can't carry on an educated conversation, but they can tell me in full detail why their favorite person on "So you think you can Dance" is like, so much better than everyone else and here's why.

Yes, I like a healthy intellect in a woman. No, it doesn't matter if they are curing cancer if they aren't attractive. Yes, I do want a personality in a woman. No, I won't date anybody's friend whose leading characteristic is her personality. It's the duality of a man's desires.

[Signe]

Boo fucking hoo.

[Paelos]

Boo fucking hoo.

It's the sob tale of the century I know. Then again, most women have similar problems.

[Samwise]

I'm going to have to concur with Signe on the "boo fucking hoo".  I sang the same song all through high school.  In retrospect, I realize that if I'd had the stones to talk to a few more girls I'd have done very well for myself.  Instead I tended to fixate on obviously unavailable girls, thereby setting myself up for failure and convincing myself that girls were somehow difficult to obtain, which caused me to miss out on what now seem like obvious opportunities.

The instant I got over that and started being a bit less timid, I ended up with more girls than I knew what to do with, I kid you not.  And it wasn't that I started "settling", it was that I opened my goddamned eyes.  It's 100% a state of mind.  If you convince yourself that desirable women are hard to find, they will be.  There are plenty of intelligent, attractive, available women out there.  But most of them won't come straight to you.  You have to reach out and take them.

That all sounds horribly trite, but I swear to God that your whine about how hard it is to get a date or how hard it is to find intelligent women or blah blah blah sounds exactly like something I would have said as a whiny teenager.  And I'm pretty sure someone probably said the same exact thing to me as a whiny teenager, and it obviously didn't have any immediate effect, so there's not much point in me saying it now. 

So all I can say that has any chance of sticking is have faith - you will someday emerge from your cocoon and become a beautiful butterfly.  That or you'll die alone.  One of those.

[Paelos]

Not impossible, just hard to find. And yeah, it probably does sound whiny, but I also believe that as women mature they sluff off some of the bullshit. Men too. You do make a good point about state of mind. Couple it with alcohol, and well, watch the sparks fly. It's funny.

[Pococurante]

I've met very few unattractive women.  Some (though hardly all) of most unattractive ones I ever met were considered drop dead gorgeous.

Smart ladies with self-esteem and high-sex drive & flexible timing are the hottest.

[stray]

/agree with Samwise

Stop making a big deal out of it, and things start to change. It's kind of silly to quickly judge some woman as _insert negative quality_ here as well. A lot of the time, they're just as nervous or as uncomfortable as you are -- And that kind of thing generally brings out the worst in people.

[Cheddar]

I find roofies help me.  Just some sage advice.

[Viin]

Also: older (ie: 28+) are a lot more fun to date than shallow vapid 20-somethings who think they are still in high school.

[Cheddar]

Also: older (ie: 28+) are a lot more fun to date than shallow vapid 20-somethings who think they are still in high school.

Wrong.

[Ironwood]

I've met very few unattractive women.  Some (though hardly all) of most unattractive ones I ever met were considered drop dead gorgeous.

YES.

[Viin]

Also: older (ie: 28+) are a lot more fun to date than shallow vapid 20-somethings who think they are still in high school.

Wrong.

I suppose it depends if you are just looking for something to roll around in the hay with or someone to hang out with and have some sort of relationship with. 

 .. with ..

[Pococurante]

... to roll around in the hay with...

[From inside the haycart]
Inga: Hallo. Vould you like a roll in ze hay?
Inga: It's fun.
Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.

[Ironwood]

You realise we all now have to download that picture and then turn it 90 degrees ?

You're an evil man.

[Pococurante]

I'll do anything for Terri Garr.