A Philosophical Question of Catalysts and Personal Attack

[Paelos]

I have recently stumbled across a small dilemma in my golfing life. I play at a small club here in Colorado that has a nice course and frequently holds tournaments including a club championship. As the son of a member, I was informed that I could play on this course until age 25 including tournament events. In 2003, I decided to sign up for the club championship, and surprise surprise, I ended up winning the net division handily.

This year I am back in town after missing the 2004 tournament. I have played in numerous events so far this summer while I've been in town and have never been barred from any event. However, when trying to sign up for the championship this year, I was informed by the head pro that I was no longer eligible. The board of the club passed a rule saying that children of members were not eligible to play in the club championship any longer. Note, I am the only person under the age of 30 who has ever tried to play in this tournament, I am the only child of a member here currently that wants to play, and I'm the only child of a member who has ever won the tournament before.

My parents have told me to take this in stride. They say it's not a personal attack, that it's an inevitable decision, and that I was merely a catalyst providing them a reason to make a rule. I tell them that it's hard not to take such an action personally when you are the only person available in a group that they are readily excluding due to a fear that said person might win the precious tournament. Nevermind the fact that I was the best person playing when I won in 2003. Nevermind the fact that I'm eligible for EVERYTHING else except this one event. It's not personal. It was inevitable.

I'm basically pissed off and I'd like some outside opinions on this. How would you feel? What would you say? Thanks.

[schild]

Your parents should get rid of their membership. It's not your fault the other members suck. Tell them to bone up their game, if they can't beat you then they don't deserve to be in a tournament anyway. Because really, if they're going to treat you like a child, you should treat them like the assholes they are. Karma's a bitch.

[Trippy]

Somebody on the Board or who has influence over the Board didn't like it that you won in 2003. Maybe the second place finisher complained to him or her. Such is life. How do the club and green fees work as the child of members? Do you or your parents pay extra club or green fees to allow you to play?

[Paelos]

Unfortunately, my parents side with the membership saying that these people pay a lot of money to be there and I pay nothing, but I still waltz in and compete. They don't seem to think my participation is fair either.

I say, that's fine if you think that, but be consistent. I think it's horrible that they made this decision AFTER I won the tournament when in fact they would kindly let me stay in my place as long as I sucked.

[Samwise]

I'd be pretty pissed off too.  However, I'd take some solace in the fact that the decision had been catalyzed by my KICKING THEIR ASSES the last time around.    

I think I can kinda see where they're coming from.  They have a club championship whose primary purpose is presumably for their members to compete against each other.  They let the kids of members crash the party under the assumption that they'll go mostly unnoticed and not steal any thunder from full fledged members.

And then one of these kiddies goes and wins what is ostensibly a private competition.  Oops.  I can see how some of the members might be peeved if they pay for their memberships and then some gatecrasher comes and takes first prize at the members-only championship.  I don't agree with it, but I can understand it.

(Let me know if I'm misconstruing anything here, since my understanding of golf, golf clubs, and golf club memberships is nonexistent.)

How hard would it be for you to become a full-fledged member yourself?

[Paelos]

I could easily become a "member", if I ponied up the required cash. Which I don't have. And they know this. Sometimes quitting a well-paying job to write puts a kink in your plans.

[schild]

Surely they have visitors fees and rules that let visitors play in tournaments. Or pony your parents membership. It can't be that much more for a family to join than a husband and wife.

[Trippy]

Unfortunately, my parents side with the membership saying that these people pay a lot of money to be there and I pay nothing, but I still waltz in and compete. They don't seem to think my participation is fair either.

I say, that's fine if you think that, but be consistent. I think it's horrible that they made this decision AFTER I won the tournament when in fact they would kindly let me stay in my place as long as I sucked.

Well since you nor your parents are paying extra for you then it's understandable what has happened. I actually think you got lucky in that they still let you play in other tournaments rather than banning you from all of them.

[Samwise]

I think what it comes down to is that the policies they designed for 12 year old kids don't apply to you any more.  It's certainly inconvenient to be suddenly treated like any other non-member adult in this instance, but it's not an insult by any means.

I'm a bit surprised that your parents aren't putting up more of a fuss, though.  In effect, this new policy devalues their membership, if the membership previously included letting you play and that privilege is now being revoked.  I'd be annoyed.  Unless, of course, the membership includes no such thing and their letting you play was a courtesy rather than a contractual obligation.  In that case they're pretty well within their rights to revoke it if it's upsetting some of their paying members.

Mind you, those paying members are asses for being upset that you beat them, but they're still the ones paying.  

[Evangolis]

Well, your parents did pay the fee, and as part of that, kids play free until they are 25.  Seems like sour grapes on their part.  It's not like you were a ringer.

But piss on it.  Sure, you could go Caddyshack on their ass, and make a big stink, but I wouldn't bother.

Just write about them.  I don't know what you write, but I'm sure you can find a place for them in your work.  It's the best revenge, IMO.

[Merusk]

Here's how you should handle this.

Setup a web page with that story and a paypal link, that will net you the required cash to compete.  Then kick their asses and smile very smugly at the board members and be so incredibly cheerful that they can't help but hate you.

[MrHat]

Here's how you should handle this.

Setup a web page with that story and a paypal link, that will net you the required cash to compete.  Then kick their asses and smile very smugly at the board members and be so incredibly cheerful that they can't help but hate you.

But what if he loses?

[Murgos]

It's thier club, they want to be able to feel like they can compete.  If your good enough to walk away with thier championship go compete with people at your level and quite picking on the old people trying to maintain thier last illusions of competence.

[Signe]

Here's how you should handle this.

Setup a web page with that story and a paypal link, that will net you the required cash to compete.  Then kick their asses and smile very smugly at the board members and be so incredibly cheerful that they can't help but hate you.

But what if he loses?

He won't lose.  He can't lose.  Not after he's done all that.  He'd look foolish.

[Merusk]

Here's how you should handle this.

Setup a web page with that story and a paypal link, that will net you the required cash to compete.  Then kick their asses and smile very smugly at the board members and be so incredibly cheerful that they can't help but hate you.

But what if he loses?

Then he got a whole lot of stupid people on the internet to give him money for a story.  He wins there, too.  Plus, he keeps more dignity than the chick who put up the site for a boob job, or the other one who was just spend-stupid and the public bailed her out.

[Ironwood]

Unfortunately, my parents side with the membership saying that these people pay a lot of money to be there and I pay nothing, but I still waltz in and compete. They don't seem to think my participation is fair either.

I say, that's fine if you think that, but be consistent. I think it's horrible that they made this decision AFTER I won the tournament when in fact they would kindly let me stay in my place as long as I sucked.

Hmm.  Your Parents are Cunts.

I think that sums it up.

Get out of Golf if something like this pisses you off.  Elitism and double standards rank highest than anywhere else in the world, Whitehouse included.

Get out while you can.

[tazelbain]

Elitist snobs acting like elitist snobs, film at 11.

[Sogrinaugh]

Not to elite if they got thier ass beat by a young buck that aint even been playin the game very long.  Its not like golf requires explosive speed, reflexes, or stamina that can only be granted by the exuberance of youth.  This is a game where you should be building your skill over the course of your life, if you serious about it.

IMO, fuck these scrubs and go find some real competition, unless you just enjoy pissin on thier territory, in which case follow merusk advice.

[Bunk]

It's bad sportsmanship on thier part, but not unusal in this sort of thing. People get very touchy about things like Country clubs, having that membership makes them feel special. Since, you aren't 50 years old, you are punk, and are ruining thier club. I'd be pissed too, but I'd have to say there isn't much you can do about it.

By the way, just as an aside, I took you for a fair bit older than 25.

[ahoythematey]

Start up an underground, bareknuckle-boxing club, set up some rudimentary rules that keep it primal, and you can start feeling less dead inside.  Perhaps it can lead to chicanery and shenanigans in parking garages and liposuction clinics.  Shit, you might even get the girl.  I don't know.

[HaemishM]

Fuck country clubs in their tiny, all-too-puckered asses. You should go to the club when they are having the tournament and take a great steaming dump in the championship cup trophy when no one is looking.

[Krakrok]

What would Jesus do?

[Mr_PeaCH]

Note, I am the only person under the age of 30 who has ever tried to play in this tournament, I am the only child of a member here currently that wants to play, and I'm the only child of a member who has ever won the tournament before.

Am I the only one who is getting this?  Um... "surprise, surprise, well whaddayaknow, I won"?  Dude, ipso facto this was NOT your tournament.  Not only because you're not actually a member yourself (which is debatable because they did have a clause permitting children of members, yada yada...) but moreso because you're competing against people out of your age range.  What does it say about your eagerness to enter a tournament at a club you don't actually belong to as the youngest person there?  I mean, you admit that you're the only person under the age of 30 to EVER play in it; chances are, realistically, you were probably half the age of the average member in the tourney, correct?

You're parents are a lot more sensible than you, my friend.  Their club has now been forced to re-write the rules because you went and forced their hand by blithely forgoing common sense and club propriety.  Get over yourself and your mad, leet golf skillz, give the tournament back to the blue hairs and let it go.

[Yegolev]

First, I'm not normal.

The club's decision was crappy but not out of character.  Points exist on either side but the reality is that you can't beat their asses at golf without paying the fees that everyone else pays.  How to feel about it?  If it were me, I'd be happy I won and move on, since I assume I'd be working on my writing career, if I were you, as it were. Uh.  Anyway, if you wanted to pursue the revenge angle, you would just be doing it for revenge's sake unless you were interested in pursuing golf at that club.  Personally, I don't waste energy thinking about people who aren't worth my time, and they would not be, if I were you, as it were.  I would not really be in that position since I don't like golf or pricks.

[Samwise]

you can't beat their asses at golf without paying the fees that everyone else pays.

He's blunt, but he has a point.

[Ironwood]

Oh Noes, the Paradox owns me.

[Pococurante]

[Yegolev]

you can't beat their asses at golf without paying the fees that everyone else pays.

He's blunt, but he has a point.

And my timestamp verifies my Holy Accuracy in this thread.

Obligatory image:

[Pococurante]

I win on color saturation. 

[Yegolev]

I win on color saturation. 

Dude, I can't compete with you, only try to keep up.  Damn work.

[Pococurante]

Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.

[Paelos]

All good points. Here's my take.

- They do have a point about it being their tournament, and as such I'm not going to go apeshit in the clubhouse making demands.

- Mr_Peach golf is a funny thing especially about age. I'm a 16 handicap and 24 years old. Being 50 and having played for 24 years actually gives them such a ridiculous advantage over my young physique that you'd just have to be a golfer to understand.

- I learned of this last night, and I was mad, so I wrote is down. I'm less mad now. Especially since my name is engraved on a plaque in the clubhouse above the trophies, and they can shine that bitch with their tears.

- It's not life or death, it was just surprising considering it's the only thing I was barred from, and consequently the only thing here I've ever won. I try not to take it personally, but I mean hell, I'm not just waltzing in and obliterating the competition. I had the round of my life and it happened to be in the club championship. I have not shot that number since.

- Like I said, I'll do with it what I always do. Take a number, get all pissy for a while, then face up to it with class so I don't ruin a good reputation.

Thanks for your comments.

[voodoolily]

Late as always.

I agree that you should somehow buy membership and serve them their asses on a silver platter, then politely resign your membership. Or start competing in those tourneys professionally to earn the cash for the membership.

I hate the rich, always have and always will (until I become one of them  ). You should strive to gracefully and tactfully humiliate them at every opportunity.

[Llava]

I can't find a decent picture of Shooter McGavin.

[Merusk]

Late as always.

I agree that you should somehow buy membership and serve them their asses on a silver platter, then politely resign your membership. Or start competing in those tourneys professionally to earn the cash for the membership.

I hate the rich, always have and always will (until I become one of them  ). You should strive to gracefully and tactfully humiliate them at every opportunity.

... Psycho.

omg i'm so hot right now.