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Topic: I am WINZZOR!! (Read 10757 times)
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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This is a letter I wrote last week to Portland's hipper free weekly, The Portland Mercury (sister publication to Seattle's "The Stranger"). THe picture I was referring to showed a PSP with Super Mario Bros. being played on it. OUT-GEEKED AGAIN!
DEAR MERCURY: You are such a bunch of posers [Destination Fun, June 30]. You show a poorly-Photoshopped Sony PSP with the quintessential Nintendo game on the screen, and you think no one would notice? Super Mario Bros. will be available for Sony systems when they pry it from Nintendo's cold, dead hands. It hurts me deep inside and makes the baby Jesus stabby to see such blatant disregard for merchandising. You shoulda had the geek that writes game reviews double-check your lazy asses, since you obviously don't give a shit about gaming.
Heather A.
ERIK HENRIKSEN RESPONDS: To be fair, I noticed this too--but upon seeing the gaffe, I had to ask myself two questions: 1. Do I (yet again) point out how insanely geeky and pathetic I am by (yet again) pointing out a negligible geek-related image error? 2. Do I really think anyone except for myself is lame enough to (a) notice this, and (b) throw their own tantrum?
My answers were all "no." Though I guess I was wrong on both parts of the second question. But for your ultra-geekiness, Heather, you win our "Letter of the Week!" prize package which includes two authentic tickets to the Laurelhurst, two passes to see the Briefs at Dante's on July 21, and a $30 dinner at No Fish! Go Fish!
I won! They unfortunately didn't have a jpeg of the PSP on their archives, but oh well. I won! |
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Wait wait. There's a newspaper named "The Stranger?"
I bet Erik Henriksen and Tor Thorsen are dating. I don't know why. It just SEEMS right.
I demand the gift certificate as you seem to have used the word posers on a day past December 5th, 1996. Which as we all know is the day the word was outlawed by over 30 independent countries and the UN itself.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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I like how he says "authentic" tickets, like they've been giving out fakes up 'til now. The Laurelhurst is a cool vintage theater that shows second-run flicks and occassional cult faves. Got to see Rushmore on the big screen again there last fall.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Congrats.
I won a $50 gift certificate on local talk radio a couple years ago when I professed my love for infomerials on-air.
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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"a $30 dinner at No Fish! Go Fish!"
Based on the name of the restaurant, I'm guessing that $30 will feed a family of 12.
Seriously though, congrats - especially on getting the phrase "makes the baby Jesus stabby" published.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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If Erik Henriksen were a true geek, he would've referred to my geekiness as "uber", not "ultra". In your face AGAIN, Henriksen!
No Fish! Go Fish! Has stuff like soup and sammies and salads I think. I heard they have good butternut squash soup. Too bad it's SUMMER. There's one five blocks from my house, though, conveniently.
And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling. You're definately not the only one with shitty taste in Television here. Shockeye has a storied history. I think he has Sledgehammer on DVD. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Found them compelling. Like back when I usta do LSD a coupla times a week. I was totally mesmerized by the one for the stick blender. Y'know, the one where they make their own mayo? They made their own MAYO, for chrissakes!
Now, I have excellent taste in television. Actually, in everything.
I'm feeling very confident today.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I would stay up nights and watch infomercials while doing MUD programming. I can recite the script for the Flowbee infomercial at the drop of a hat.
If anyone happens to have a videotape of the Flowbee infomercials, I would be willing to pay. A lot. Addictions are never cheap.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I just dribbled a little vomit on my shirt.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Woo hoo! Billy Mays! Whatta hunka hunka!
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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This thread is completely surreal.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Paelos' Christian Blog updated 5/3/05
I've been waiting over two months for an update. |
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Paelos' Christian Blog updated 5/3/05
I've been waiting over two months for an update. Yeah, I guess since I quit my job I've lost my excuse. I'll work on that. |
CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling. You're definately not the only one with shitty taste in Television here. Shockeye has a storied history. I think he has Sledgehammer on DVD. Hey Sledgehammer was fantastic. C'mon, the guy made Heston look sane and his gun talked back! The episode where they nuked the world.. oh so lovely. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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I cut my hair with a flowbie I bought in college to have more money for beer. Now I use clippers.
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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You don't have any hair.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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WayAbvPar
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He's got more than I do. Not saying much, but true nonetheless.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Hansen cannot be a geek if he thinks that putting Mario on a Sony portable screen is a "neglibile geek-related image error." Also, he should get steaming crotchrot just for being a douchebag.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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He seems like the type of guy who'd say, "Hey, I'm a geek. I own a Playstation 2 AAAND an X-box," as if that were all that was required.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks?
You people suck.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks?
You people suck.
Hey now, I would've been happy to talk about Flowbees, Ronco, and Potty Putters instead. |
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WindupAtheist
Army of One
Posts: 7028
Badicalthon
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Oh boy, media-interaction stories! I once had a letter of mine printed in Time magazine, basically telling them to quit sucking Apple's dick because nobody really needs an iMac. I also helped grief the radio show referenced here right off the air. (I worked at a job with lots of unsupervised time, phone access, and nothing but a radio for company. They moved one of my favorite shows for that crap, so I was gonna make them pay!) The audible outrage in their voices when I would sneak onto the air for the second time in one night to tell them they sucked live was priceless. :-D |
"You're just a dick who quotes himself in his sig." -- Schild
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." -- Me
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Hansen cannot be a geek if he thinks that putting Mario on a Sony portable screen is a "neglibile geek-related image error." Also, he should get steaming crotchrot just for being a douchebag.
Yes, now all of Portland knows that it is I who is the bigger geek. Yessir, I AM that lame! I feel like such a champion. He forgot that Nintendo fanboism is even more rabid than Apple fanboism. How could I NOT throw a tantrum? How, I ask you, how? |
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks?
You people suck.
Actually, I think it could probably be argued as more of a case of him being a really shitty journalist, then turning into a douchebag because he got called on it. The geek-cred factor just ices it. |
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WindupAtheist
Army of One
Posts: 7028
Badicalthon
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How is putting Mario on PSP a minor geek thing? Anyone even remotely aware of gaming ought to know Ninendo is not Sony. I mean... what?  |
"You're just a dick who quotes himself in his sig." -- Schild
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." -- Me
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Pococurante
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2060
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Yeah, I guess since I quit my job I've lost my excuse. I'll work on that. The important aspect to note here is that Jesus was a friend to these men, and they too were his friends. And women!  |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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OMG - is that Sean Penn?
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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OMG - is that Sean Penn?
I don't get it. |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Tell me she didn't just confuse Eric Idle with Shawn Penn. Turn in your geek card, you've been outed.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Soukyan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1995
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Tell me she didn't just confuse Eric Idle with Shawn Penn. Turn in your geek card, you've been outed.
*snicker* I hardly ever read this forum, but the one day I decide to check it, I am witness to Monty Python blasphemy of the highest degree. |
"Life is no cabaret... we're inviting you anyway." ~ Amanda Palmer"Tree, awesome, numa numa, love triangle, internal combustion engine, mountain, walk, whiskey, peace, pascagoula" ~ Lantyssa"Les vrais paradis sont les paradis qu'on a perdus." ~Marcel Proust |
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Stray missed one. The Meaning of LifeHe obviously doesn't think every sperm is sacred. Mr. D'eth will be in from the village to see to your bushes shortly. He's a reaper, you know. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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You guys are such a bunch of dorks. I know it's not Sean Penn, it just looks like him in that photo and I was making a joke.
AND I am a geek, but I think Monty Python is insipid. Whoooooops! (And yes, I have watched all that shit, I just don't think it's hilarious. So there.)
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