UO sucks.

[WindupAtheist]

New expansion announced.  There's the usual crap about new dungeons and critters, but the main points are these:

*  Fucking Elves:  Yeah, they finally caved to the assmonkey boardwhores who think every fantasy setting is Tolkien.  They're adding an elf city called Heartwood, and quests that elfinize an existing character.  Between that and the robots and ninjas of previous expansions, this game is quite possibly the most thematically schizophrenic work ever.

*  No box:  The expansion is supposedly a download only.  Yeah, that's the sound of EA surrendering.  Forget about bringing in new players, the North American market is now just an auxillary to Asia.

*  No graphical upgrade:  See above, regarding this being the "we give up" expansion.

Fuck you in your elven ass, EA.  I'll break down and go play a levelfest where at least the elves are part of a logical overall setting.

[Samwise]

You know, when I saw the thread title, I thought "shit, somebody's trying to troll WindupAtheist."  Imagine my surprise!

[Alkiera]

*  Fucking Elves:  Yeah, they finally caved to the assmonkey boardwhores who think every fantasy setting is Tolkien.  They're adding an elf city called Heartwood, and quests that elfinize an existing character.  Between that and the robots and ninjas of previous expansions, this game is quite possibly the most thematically schizophrenic work ever.

With the possible exception of most text-MUDs I've played, where you wandered from Generic Fantasy City thru a forest of dryads, thru the village of Springfield full of Simpson's characters, down a cliff full of Pern-ese dragons/dragonriders, to get to the robot's technocity.

I will give you that UO is probably the most schizo world produced for money, by an actual company.

Alkiera

[schild]

Alkiera, I'm pretty certain you just scared the Spore out of me.

[sinij]

Now you can relate to how most PvPers felt about UO:R and Trammel. Don't like elves? Too bad, that what majority of people like and that what goes in.  Owned, you griefer bad man elf-hater.

[sinij]

I'm enjoying irony of this situation so much that I decided to post here again.

Windup you must be wretched, deeply disturbed and anti-social person in need of therapy for hating beautiful elves. Elves represent beauty and love and your lack of acceptance of it must be clear sign of disturbed individual trying to poison everyone’s life.

Most people likes elves, you should move on to elf-free game and stop griefing everyone by your elf-hating ways. You have no right to dictate people how to play their Drizzit characters. Do you know how many people quit because they couldn’t play elf character? Anti-elf tyranny stops now, you too should adapt to playing samurai robot elf Jesus.

Avatar turning it his grave as we speak.

[Daydreamer]

Alkiera, I'm pretty certain you just scared the Spore out of me.

Look on the bright side - you can always raze those planets you don't like to the ground.

[Strazos]

For once, I can't really cut up WUA for what he has said. I too hate how every game "needs" elves.

Personally, I have never played an elven character, due to their overwhelming fagtacularness.

Be a man. Play a human. Tear off Elf ears to make into a stylish necklace.

[WindupAtheist]

BLAR I AM A FUCKHEAD

Oh fuck off, you troll.  I know you still weep to this day over the fact that free-for-all PVP has long passed away onto the trashpile of history, but have you EVER posted anything remotely productive?

[Jain Zar]

Actually, if they are bringing Elves back I would be all for open PVP.  Killing Elves would almost be worth giving EA money. 

[Merusk]

<<<

Oh come now, how can you hate that?

Male elves, however, pass the shotgun.

And you know, schild, I hadden't even considered the "Lame-Mud" effect of Spore.  Ow, the pain.  I too remember trips like the one Alkeria described, though Smurfs were more popular than Simpsons on the Muds I visited run by the 'omg i should host a mud that'd be lolzers' types.

[WindupAtheist]

If you're looking for a sort of sick thrill, check out this thread:

Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?

Highlights...

If they can please the current playerbase and bring back some of the players who quit, UO would be in a good position. Then it can focus on maybe building a new client and attracting brand new players.

And people call ME a deluded fanboy?  There are some truly pathetic individuals on those boards.  People who own six accounts, travel to these "town hall" developer meetings, and frantically try to shout down everyone who sees the writing on the wall.

People like this.

When I had the microphone I asked about TV advertising (maybe on the Sci Fi channel), Aaron “Darkscribe" Cohen basically said that was way too expensive. I said that if EA wanted to really show their support, they would do it. He argued against the idea, stating that TV ads don't draw a huge fan base, but that word of mouth does. I then responded that our word of mouth would go over a lot better, if people actually knew what UO was when we were telling them they should buy it.  I then talked to him outside about it. I offered ideas such as an animated Ultima Online Feature Film, or Saturday Morning Cartoon, or a series of Children's Toys. He really didn't seem too interested in my ideas, but I'm hoping he was just pretending, so that he could unveil them himself later

Jesus, there are no words.  Just imagine this poor EA drone being chased around by some catass-scented moron telling him to make Saturday morning cartoons.  Jesus.  Look, I griped about the robots, but I stuck around.  I grumbled about the ninjas, but I kept playing.  But that's it, this is where I draw the line.

EDIT:  Snarky link name edited in honor of my avatar.

[Murgos]

Just want to point out that Ultima used to have elves in it, back in the day you know?

[Jayce]

When I had the microphone I asked about TV advertising (maybe on the Sci Fi channel), Aaron “Darkscribe" Cohen basically said that was way too expensive. I said that if EA wanted to really show their support, they would do it. He argued against the idea, stating that TV ads don't draw a huge fan base, but that word of mouth does. I then responded that our word of mouth would go over a lot better, if people actually knew what UO was when we were telling them they should buy it.  I then talked to him outside about it. I offered ideas such as an animated Ultima Online Feature Film, or Saturday Morning Cartoon, or a series of Children's Toys. He really didn't seem too interested in my ideas, but I'm hoping he was just pretending, so that he could unveil them himself later

Jesus, there are no words.  Just imagine this poor EA drone being chased around by some catass-scented moron telling him to make Saturday morning cartoons.  Jesus.  Look, I griped about the robots, but I stuck around.  I grumbled about the ninjas, but I kept playing.  But that's it, this is where I draw the line.

I never used to like you, WUA, but this post just redeemed you in my (tear-stained from laughing) eyes.  Comedy GOLD.

[shiznitz]

Don't be hasty Jayce. Occasional praise and hate can go hand in hand.

[Signe]

I still say Windup is a ringer created by the admin of these boards.  He pops in, now and then, and says something inflammatory or stupid to keep people angry and entertained and then sods off.  I don't know what this new tactic is, but I'm sure there's some sort of obscure point to it.

Yes, yes... this might be a crap conspiracy theory but I like it.  And I even believe it.  Mostly.

[WindupAtheist]

I'm actually Schild.

[Signe]

I knew it!

[WindupAtheist]

Or rather, Schild is actually me.

[Ironwood]

Actually, that makes a lot of sense to me...

[HaemishM]

I'm enjoying irony of this situation so much that I decided to post here again.

Windup you must be wretched, deeply disturbed and anti-social person in need of therapy for hating beautiful elves. Elves represent beauty and love and your lack of acceptance of it must be clear sign of disturbed individual trying to poison everyone’s life.

Most people likes elves, you should move on to elf-free game and stop griefing everyone by your elf-hating ways. You have no right to dictate people how to play their Drizzit characters. Do you know how many people quit because they couldn’t play elf character? Anti-elf tyranny stops now, you too should adapt to playing samurai robot elf Jesus.

Avatar turning it his grave as we speak.

You know, most of the time you're an assmonkey. But today, you have indeed turned your assmonkey ways to the good of humanity!

[schild]

This thread got weird while I was sleeping.

[Ironwood]

Sleeping.  Yeah, right.

You notice how they never both post AT THE SAME TIME !!!

[Krakrok]

There is a UO client coming out for the PSP. You heard it here first. Pass it on.

[schild]

There is not a UO client coming out for PSP. I don't even like UO, but if it were true, I'd have to get it - just so more shit like that comes out on the PSP.

Btw, what makes an elf an elf in UO? 2 more pixels and night vision? Pfah.

[WayAbvPar]

Btw, what makes an elf an elf in UO?

The mangina behind the curtain.

[schild]

Btw, what makes an elf an elf in UO?

The mangina behind the curtain.

Ah. Thanks for clearing that up.

[buttons]

Schild is WindUpAtheist? Well fuck me rotten.

[sinij]

BLAR I AM A FUCKHEAD

Oh fuck off, you troll.  I know you still weep to this day over the fact that free-for-all PVP has long passed away onto the trashpile of history, but have you EVER posted anything remotely productive?

Have you rolled your ninja elf Drizzit character yet? You better get your spot in a line for camping artifact scimitar spawn that drops from a robot quest early to get ready for this expansion.

Well you can start weeping now over the lore-consistent not loot-centric game with strong and involved community revolving around crafting, role playing, PvP or PvE that started dying around UO:R time and was dead by UO:AoS. Some people are more stubborn in coming to terms with death of UO and some slower individuals only catching up to it now.

[schild]

What's more important is that WUA nearly ripped a whole in the fabric of space and time by calling someone else a troll.

[WayAbvPar]

What's more important is that WUA nearly ripped a whole in the fabric of space and time by calling someone else a troll.

Heh. That was a close one.

[Signe]

Schild is WindUpAtheist? Well fuck me rotten.

Windup has confirmed it and schild has not denied it. 

I've started a decent rumour.  Go me.

[Shockeye]

I know for a fact that WUA and schild are different people.

schild is much more of a wanker.

Also I can see the IPs of the posts and WUA is a completely different part of the country.

[Reg]

Or so the Germans would have us believe!

[Signe]

Bah!  I can make you see any IP I want you to see.  I have powers.  Maybe schild has powers, too. 

Germans!  There is the link I was looking for to prove my conspiracy theory!  Ta, Reg!

PS  Stop pissing all over my rumours!