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Topic: Superman is gay. (Read 5480 times)
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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 According to this interesting synopsis.SUPERMAN IS GAY
by George Sanford | The Weekly World News
February 22, 2002
TOPEKA, Kansas - A crackpot clergyman wants to ban all Superman comic books and movies - because he believes the Man of Steel is gay!
"We owe it to our children not to expose them to this kind of flamboyant character, flitting around in the air like Tinkerbell," declares the Reverend Clay Blanblood. "Real men do NOT prance around in tights. Who knows how many homosexuals got their start from trying to imitate Superman?"
The Topeka-based minister says he reached his bizarre conclusion after pouring over hundreds of Superman comics, movies and TV shows dating back to the 1930s.
He cites the following as "evidence" that the beloved superhero is light in his loafers:
* He dresses in leotards that show off his muscles "and just about everything else."
* He can never marry Lois Lane, they can only be buddies.
* He leads a secret double life, "like a closet homosexual," according to the preacher.
* He wears a cape. "Maybe y'all know some straight guys who waltz around in red capes - I sure don't," Rev. Blanblood declares.
* He colors his hair with blue highlights.
* As Clark Kent, he wears glasses even though he doesn't need them. "It's like he's advertising that he's some kind of sissy," the clergyman argues.
* He is "overly chummy" with cute young cub reporter Jimmy Olsen.
* He often poses with his hands on his hips, "the traditional gay posture."
* He has X-ray vision, yet never uses the power to look through women's clothing, "the way any normal, red-blooded American man would," according to the preacher.
* He's often seen flying through the air carrying a man he's just rescued - something Rev. Blanblood insists "no heterosexual male would be caught dead doing."
This isn't Rev. Blanblood's first foray into popular culture - in the past he's argued the case that Batman and Robin, the Scarlet Pimpernel, Robin Hood, G.I. Joe and even macho characters Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame are also gay.
A leading comic book expert calls the preacher's crusade against Superman "idiotic."
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WayAbvPar
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Ahh the Weekly World News- a bastion of credible journalism for years now.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Shmtur
Terracotta Army
Posts: 67
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Gee, if I didn't know better, I'd say that was a hoax of some sort.
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Mesozoic
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1359
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And...how much time has this minister spent looking at muscular men in bright tights?
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...any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
-Numtini
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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* He often poses with his hands on his hips, "the traditional gay posture." I thought gay posture was on all fours. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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* He often poses with his hands on his hips, "the traditional gay posture." I thought gay posture was on all fours. That is more of a nouveau gay posture, and is all the rage. Traditionally, however, they stood with arms akimbo. |
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WayAbvPar
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* He often poses with his hands on his hips, "the traditional gay posture." I thought gay posture was on all fours. Heh. I am reminded of the Greek bowls from The Birdcage, with the pictures of the men and boys 'playing leapfrog'. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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That movie was very funny. God, I love fags.
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MaceVanHoffen
Terracotta Army
Posts: 527
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I gotta say, that guy's diatribe probably turns more young men/boys onto playing for the home team. I mean, I'm getting all steamy just reading his descriptions of Superman.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Uh, Mace- douchebag week is over.
\stingin' on your avatar
Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't say anything about sweaty mens (double-pluralization on purpose) and Greco-Roman wrestling.
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MaceVanHoffen
Terracotta Army
Posts: 527
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Uh, Mace- douchebag week is over.
\stingin' on your avatar
Fine. I will select an avatar to haunt your dreams. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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I addressed your new choice in the other thread.
The lightning in the background is very Glamour Shots.
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WayAbvPar
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It is just static electricity generated by his mullet.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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It is just static electricity generated by his mullet.
I so want to re-grow my mullet. |
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MaceVanHoffen
Terracotta Army
Posts: 527
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It is just static electricity generated by his mullet.
The Stamos will conquer you all! Your doom is nigh! |
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Better not touch him, or you'll get SHOCKED!
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MaceVanHoffen
Terracotta Army
Posts: 527
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I, for one, welcome our new mullet-wearing overlords.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I, for one, welcome our new mullet-wearing overlords.
Amen. Next week will be mullet-wearing avatars. You have been warned. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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SWEET.
My favorite is the skullet. YOU be warned.
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Hmm, well, I do have to kind of agree with the good Reverand on that X-Ray vision thing. Like any hetero man would have the will power not to take a look once in a while...
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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He did use his x-ray vision on Lois Lane when she interviewed him (in the movie). She asked what color underwear she was wearing, and after being embarrassed about it changed the subject. Then Superman just says "pink".
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WayAbvPar
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He did use his x-ray vision on Lois Lane when she interviewed him (in the movie). She asked what color underwear she was wearing, and after being embarrassed about it changed the subject. Then Superman just says "pink".
How do you know he meant her underwear? It IS X-ray vision, after all... |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Well, at least this proves that Superman is not gay. Ghey, maybe, but not gay.
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