Kelsey Grammer is Dr. Hank McCoy.

[Shockeye]

Aint-It-Cool News is reporting that Brett Ratner is more than likely going to be directing X3.

At least, not until late tonight, when I got the two names confirmed from inside the Pico lot, from a spy I’ll call “Putch Harker,” who tells me that we’ll have an announcement very soon. So either we’ll have X3 directed by John Moore, who did solid, sturdy jobs with both BEHIND ENEMY LINES and FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX, or...

... brace yourselves...

... Brett Ratner.

Now go back and read those clues that everyone gave me at the start of the piece. Makes sense, doesn’t it? What just fell apart? RUSH HOUR 3. Ratner’s definitely considered an A-list filmmaker. And he’s certainly one of ”those” names. Right now, I’d bet he’s the guy who’s going to end up in the chair by the start of the week.

Which raises the question... which X-MEN 3 is he going to make? The one that Matthew Vaughn left behind, that famous “six day script,” which is still evidently being revised by Kinberg and Penn as we speak? Or something else? With only nine weeks left to go until the film starts shooting, it would seem like they’re pretty much locked into what they’re going to be doing. It’d be nice to know what the general plot is... which characters are definitely in it, and what they’re doing... wouldn’t it?

[HaemishM]

Please... not... Brett... Ratner. He's a mediocre director if anything, who happened to get lucky with the timing of two superstars in the making (Chan and Tucker having great chemistry). Rush Hour could easily have been Money Talks. Either Moore or Ratner is really just a warm body in the director's chair, with no real artistry of their own. I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been McG.

But still.

[Shockeye]

Please... not... Brett... Ratner. He's a mediocre director if anything, who happened to get lucky with the timing of two superstars in the making (Chan and Tucker having great chemistry). Rush Hour could easily have been Money Talks. Either Moore or Ratner is really just a warm body in the director's chair, with no real artistry of their own. I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been McG.

But still.

It is The Ratner.

[WindupAtheist]

I say get Uwe Boll in there.

[HaemishM]

Yes.

[Shockeye]

From Alan Cumming's website:

What's happening?!!!

EX X MAN!! Alan will NOT be appearing in X3. Fox has not picked up his option to play Nightcrawler for a second movie.

[WayAbvPar]

From Alan Cumming's website:

What's happening?!!!

EX X MAN!! Alan will NOT be appearing in X3. Fox has not picked up his option to play Nightcrawler for a second movie.

But I bet there will be a heaping helping of Halle Berry sleepwalking through Storm's lines. Ugh.

Cumming was the best part of X2. After Wolverine killing all the commandos in the school raid. And Anna Paquin's jailbait goodness.

[HaemishM]

GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT.

I give not a shit about seeing Halle Berry sleepwalk through another X-Men movie. They have never developed the movie Storm's character enough for me to care. Nightcrawler, though, he just exuded cool. Not having him in it just sucks donkey dick.

[Shockeye]

I won't go into how Wolverine and Storm have a heavy-duty sexual relationship in X3 according to the current script or how Storm becomes the new leader of the team after Jean Grey vaporizes Cyclops.

[HaemishM]

You're just trying to pop a blood vessel in my forehead, aren't you?

[Shockeye]

You're just trying to pop a blood vessel in my forehead, aren't you?

Not me. Fox.

If it was me I'd mention __.e_e

[HaemishM]

If any of that shit is true, especially the part about Cyclops being killed, FUCK THEM. Cyke has always been my favorite X-Man, and he's been fucked over for years by writers too in love with fucking Wolverine to do more than make him a tool.

[WayAbvPar]

I, on the other hand, would find it endlessly amusing to see Cyclop's smarmy ass get blown into flinders.

I wonder if Wolvie will give Storm the BBT treatment? "I just wanna feel goooood..."


Overall, it sounds like a debacle.

[Velorath]

If any of that shit is true, especially the part about Cyclops being killed, FUCK THEM. Cyke has always been my favorite X-Man, and he's been fucked over for years by writers too in love with fucking Wolverine to do more than make him a tool.

I think Morrison and Whedon have done a pretty good job with Cyclops.  Hell, he's had Jean Grey and now Emma Frost while I don't recall Wolvie getting any action since Mariko Yashida bought it.  This movie franchise is probably going to be fucked anyway so it's probably best for Cyke to get out of it as soon as possible.  Last I heard about the movie version of Preacher (around fall of last year) Marsden was still signed on to play Jesse Custer.  Of course there hasn't been shit said about that for almost a year now so I'd be surprised if a Preacher movie ever gets made.

[Llava]

Man, that link to that AICN script review ought to have a sign over it that reads "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here".

[HaemishM]

All links to AICN should have that warning.

[AOFanboi]

Nightcrawler, though, he just exuded cool. Not having him in it just sucks donkey dick.

Yes, but he was mostly a plot device in the 2nd movie; that plot having gone, he's not that important anymore.

Then again, the same could be said for Rogue in the first...

Though I would have preferred Sean Bean as Juggernaut instead of Vinnie Jones. Also, the Brotherhood should be grown beyond Magneto, Pyro and Mystique. Bring on Quicksilver and The Blob! And more screen time for Kitty Pryde, who so far only has dropped through a floor to get away from the commandos.

[HaemishM]

Fuck that, give me more Colossus.

[AOFanboi]

Fuck that, give me more Colossus.

Yeah, he just got 1 or 2 scenes in the second movie (leading some kids to safety, helped by Iceman and Wolverine). In the comic books he once fricking saved Japan from an earthquake-inducing mutant. He is powerful dammit!

[Llava]

Yes, but he was mostly a plot device in the 2nd movie; that plot having gone, he's not that important anymore.

Having Nightcrawler is fucking important as important gets, goddamnit.

[Mortriden]

Yes, but he was mostly a plot device in the 2nd movie; that plot having gone, he's not that important anymore.

Having Nightcrawler is fucking important as important gets, goddamnit.

I like the way he was portrayed in the X-Apocalypse series the best.

[Llava]

Give me Nightcrawler teleporting off Deadpool's head in a movie and I will go see every showing in every theater in this nation.

[Trippy]

Fuck that, give me more Colossus.

Yeah, he just got 1 or 2 scenes in the second movie (leading some kids to safety, helped by Iceman and Wolverine). In the comic books he once fricking saved Japan from an earthquake-inducing mutant. He is powerful dammit!

That was Banshee who lost his power because of it.

[AOFanboi]

That was Banshee who lost his power because of it.

*sigh* Yeah, I know - I was sure I deleted that sentence before submitting. Shame on me. Colossus got knocked almost into the sea, and went back in, angry, and beat the baddie up if memory serves.

I liked one Colossus storyline occuring right after Secret Wars, where they come back and Colossus basically breaks up with Kitty Pryde, and Wolvie and Colossus take him out to drink in order to explain to him what an asshole he was to her by doing that. And coincidentally Cain Marco is in the same bar, and gets Colossus' beer spilled over him, which he does not take lightly. The two others let them beat away at each other (while trashing the bar of course), so that Colossus learns a lesson about sticking together (Juggie wins the fight and pays for the damages. Such an angel.).

But I digress.

[Trippy]

That was Banshee who lost his power because of it.

*sigh* Yeah, I know - I was sure I deleted that sentence before submitting. Shame on me. Colossus got knocked almost into the sea, and went back in, angry, and beat the baddie up if memory serves.

Yup he was pissed he had been letting his team down. I loved those Claremont-Byrne X-Men -- definitely my all-time favorites.

[shiznitz]

Apologies on the resurrection of this thread but I just saw this on Page Six:

July 1, 2005 -- RED-blooded director Brett Ratner is having his dream character written into the new "X-Men 3" movie. The mutant is, according to an inside source, "an unbelievably hot and sexy hooker. Her super power is that she secretes a pheromone that helps her to seduce men. She can seduce anyone." The source added the character has not yet been cast but, "they are open to all ethnicities who are in their early-to-mid 20s." Unknowns Kate Nauta and Aya Sumika are apparently auditioning. A rep for Ratner didn't return calls. 

Sure, the Marvel universe doesn't have enough characters that are interesting so make up your own. Brett Ratner deserve a lava bukkake for this one.

[AOFanboi]

Sure, the Marvel universe doesn't have enough characters that are interesting so make up your own. Brett Ratner deserve a lava bukkake for this one.

Well, I guess somone is just three months late.

Other than that, didn't Selene seduce various men before draining their life force? She was introduced in that "Wolvie and Cyclops let Juggernaut beat some sense into Colossus" story.

[HaemishM]

Actually, Selene was introduced in the same New Mutants story that brought us Magma/Amara Aquilla (circa New Mutants 8-12). She was an immortal witch/physic vampire who was some big muckety-muck in the underground of Amara's home, a lost Roman colony in the mountains of the Amazon in Brazil. Yes, I mean a Roman colony where they still wore togas, still had a Senate, etc. etc. Yes it was a stretch. The character Selene went on to become the Black Queen of the Hellfire Club. She was NEVER a hooker, though.

Now, how the fuck they could integrate Selene in without all the Roman stuff, or the Hellfire Club, who knows.

Of course, they may also be talking a character that was only recently in the X-Men during Joe Casey's run (circa Uncanny #400 or some such) whose name I forget. She was a mutant hooker (a hooker for people who got off on having sex with mutants) who used pheremones to seduce people.

[Murgos]

Succubus.  They have existed in mythology in various forms and names for millenia.  Nothing to see here, move along.

[WindupAtheist]

More Halle Berry + Wolvering porking Halle Berry + Cyclops dies stupidly + super mutant hookers...  I can't wait...

[Llava]

Son of a bitch.

It just keeps getting worse.

I've got an idea- let's do the whole movie with muppets.

[Shockeye]

I've got an idea- let's do the whole movie with muppets.

In Esperanto.

[shiznitz]

Son of a bitch.

It just keeps getting worse.

I've got an idea- let's do the whole movie with muppets.

Let's get the South Park guys a la Team America!

[stray]

Son of a bitch.

It just keeps getting worse.

I've got an idea- let's do the whole movie with muppets.

Let's get the South Park guys a la Team America!

And suck even more? 

[WindupAtheist]

At this point they really SHOULD just bring in Uwe Boll.  It's gonna suck anyway, so why not go for a truly legendary clusterfuck?