What the fuck, y'all?

[voodoolily]

I go away for a few days and everything is all crazy. What the fuck is raging douchebag week? Is E3 coming up or something? I don't get the joke. (Oh wait, it's because nothing is happening, right?)

Oh, the Useless News: I quit smoking today. Today, and for the next few days, I will be a raging cunt. So please forgive me in advance. 

Schild, I borrowed the Stella Shorts DVD from my friend, so PM your address to me and prepare to be stunned.

[schild]

I go away for a few days and everything is all crazy. What the fuck is raging douchebag week? Is E3 coming up or something? I don't get the joke. (Oh wait, it's because nothing is happening, right?)

E3 is this week. What an amazing coincedence. Whoa.

Oh, the Useless News: I quit smoking today. Today, and for the next few days, I will be a raging cunt. So please forgive me in advance. 

You don't get to be a raging cunt this week. Raging cunt week is later this year, on the anniversary of when Signe stopped smoking and went all mad cow disease on us for a week or so. This is raging douchebag week.

Schild, I borrowed the Stella Shorts DVD from my friend, so PM your address to me and prepare to be stunned.

LUV

[voodoolily]

Is anyone going to E3? I wanna see the new Zelda trailer again. It makes me purr.

I also wanna jump through a plate glass window right about now. Maybe I'll chew some gum.

[Strazos]

I laugh at smokers.

Constantly.

[voodoolily]

Is that because you're an ex smoker? I've been a smoker for ten years, and grew up in a smoking (2-pack a day, each parent) household.

[Strazos]

No, I'm an elitist never-smoked anti-smoking bastard.

[stray]

I'd kick the shit out of anyone who would laugh at me for smoking.

[WayAbvPar]

I'd kick the shit out of anyone who would laugh at me for smoking.

But you would probably be too wheezy to catch them.

[Strazos]

I'd kick the shit out of anyone who would laugh at me for smoking.

Ever seen a nuclear lung scan of someone who has smoked for more than a year? It's hilarious.

Sorry, smokers will never have my sympathy. That's like asking me to feel sorry for those Thai kids who try to +1 their penis sizes; they do it to themselves.

[Samwise]

Is anyone going to E3? I wanna see the new Zelda trailer again. It makes me purr.

I'll be there, with my shiny new camera no less.  If I have any space on it after taking pictures of booth babes, I can try to take a shaky video of that trailer for ya.  ;)

[voodoolily]

Yeah, but it only takes 3-5 years to regain the lungs of someone who has never smoked.

Whatevs. I'll just be glad when the white-knuckling part is over.

[voodoolily]

Is anyone going to E3? I wanna see the new Zelda trailer again. It makes me purr.

I'll be there, with my shiny new camera no less.  If I have any space on it after taking pictures of booth babes, I can try to take a shaky video of that trailer for ya.  ;)

I'm sure it'll be all over Tech TV (or G4 or whatever they call it these days), so no worries.

[Strazos]

Yeah, but it only takes 3-5 years to regain the lungs of someone who has never smoked.

There is a "Point of No Return," but I don't know what it is.

Smelly clothes, hair, breath, living space, and car, and a constant drain on my wallet? No thanks.

[voodoolily]

The point of no return is like with drinking and cirrhosis. You're basically good until you develop emphysema. I'm only in my fucking 20s, not like my Nana who finally quit smoking last November when two-thirds of her left lung were removed.

I am keenly aware of the reasons why non-smokers think it's gross. I was the only smoker in my office. Not many biologists smoke. Good thing the husboyfriend and I didn't smoke in the house or cars.

Edit: plus, we're gonna save like $300 a month.

[stray]

No thanks.

No one said you had to smoke. It's being a busybody that pisses me off.

[voodoolily]

Yeah, that's why I assumed Strazos was an ex-smoker. Non-smokers usually aren't so uppity. The first time I quit I had to use those tactics to convince myself that I didn't want to smoke. I didn't really want to quit this time, but goddammit, three people in my family have/had cancer, all on the same side of the family, all in first- or second-degree relatives, all within the same month. It's really for the best.

Na sdarovya!

[stray]

Yeah, that's why I assumed Strazos was an ex-smoker. Non-smokers usually aren't so uppity. The first time I quit I had to use those tactics to convince myself that I didn't want to smoke. I didn't really want to quit this time, but goddammit, three people in my family have/had cancer, all on the same side of the family, all in first- or second-degree relatives, all within the same month. It's really for the best.

Na sdarovya!

Yeah, I've had a few friends who've acted that with drinking/smoking/pot. I always get a good laugh when they fall back on whatever it was they were bitching about.

Good luck though.

[Strazos]

I hear the "Serenity Now!" treatment works wonders.

[voodoolily]

Is that a rehab center? I'm taking bupropion HCl and drinking lots of coffee. You'd think the coffee would make it worse, but nicotine and caffiene are not entirely dissimilar alkaloids.

[Daeven]

Ever seen a nuclear lung scan of someone who has smoked for more than a year? It's hilarious.

Sorry, smokers will never have my sympathy. That's like asking me to feel sorry for those Thai kids who try to +1 their penis sizes; they do it to themselves.

Shit. Ever seen the autopsy of a 50+ year smoker who died of COPD? Lungs aint supposed to be filled with all that black shit.

[shiznitz]

My friend's Dad quit 12 years ago. He died of lung cancer in October. If you want to save your own life, quit today. Now. Do it.

Props to voodoo for taking the plunge.

[Furiously]

Just wait for the weight gain and nasty hackups as your lungs start shedding all that tar and crap.

[voodoolily]

The hackups were already a daily joy. One hand against the shower wall, the other on my gut as I wretch and gag like a cat hacking up a hairball, only to expel a hard little brown nugget that tastes like bile. Yum!

I'm fighting the weight gain by skipping meals, chewing sugar-free gum, and jumping rope. But my metabolism will still be fucked for a few weeks.

[stray]

I've yet to hack up a tarball. I'm kinda looking forward to it. I mean, I've been smoking regularly since I was 14 (27 now). What gives?  :-(

[voodoolily]

Are you smoking enough, and strong enough? I was a pack of American Spirit mediums a day for the majority of my smoking career.

[WayAbvPar]

The hackups were already a daily joy. One hand against the shower wall, the other on my gut as I wretch and gag like a cat hacking up a hairball, only to expel a hard little brown nugget that tastes like bile. Yum!

I'm fighting the weight gain by skipping meals, chewing sugar-free gum, and jumping rope. But my metabolism will still be fucked for a few weeks.

Who says smoking isn't glamourous?

[voodoolily]

Hey, I know the shit is bad for you, but I still wish I lived in France, where smokers aren't treated like the scum of the fucking earth. I heart cigarettes and am treating this embarkment as though smoking were a hot boyfriend I have who's great in bed, but tells me I'm fat and doesn't get along with my dad. I have to just let it go. It's no good for me.

[stray]

Are you smoking enough, and strong enough? I was a pack of American Spirit mediums a day for the majority of my smoking career.

About a pack a day, from the get-go. On those crazy nights in the past, somehow I'd go through 4 or 5 (this probably had something to do with strychnine....or not. You tell me, you're the biologist).

Anyways, I'll quit when I stop liking it. Not because of health reasons. That may be for another 20 years, or that may be next week. Right now, I like it.

I also like the French.

[Shockeye]

Anyways, I'll quit when I stop liking it. Not because of health reasons. That may be for another 20 years, or that may be next week. Right now, I like it.

Moron.

I also like the French.

You're trying to be a crotchpheasant, aren't you?

[stray]

Anyways, I'll quit when I stop liking it. Not because of health reasons. That may be for another 20 years, or that may be next week. Right now, I like it.

Moron.

I see no use in quitting things that I like. Not if I'm not hurting anyone else.

You're trying to be a crotchpheasant, aren't you?

I only tolerate Parisians. I love the rest of the French though. So putting it all together, it kind of just balances into "like".

[Paelos]

For the rest of us non-smokers paying hideous medical insurance, let me be the first to say, fuck you Stray.

Enjoy Raging Douchebag Week! 

[stray]

Haha, you don't know the half of it (and yeah, I'm keeping it to myself).

[voodoolily]

In Oregon, cigarette taxes pay for the Oregon Health Plan (the Medicaid/Medicare program here). That's why, even though I was a smoker, I always voted to increase the tax.

[Mesozoic]

In Oregon, cigarette taxes pay for the Oregon Health Plan (the Medicaid/Medicare program here). That's why, even though I was a smoker, I always voted to increase the tax.

...and that made sense to you?

[Mesozoic]

Anyways, I'll quit when I stop liking it. Not because of health reasons. That may be for another 20 years, or that may be next week. Right now, I like it.

Thats awesome.  Snarky if said in jest; hilarious if said in complete ignorance of the nature of addiction.