INTERVIEW: Paris Hilton on "House of Wax"There’s an old joke among stand-up comedians known simply as “The Aristocrats.” It always starts the same: A family walks into the office of a high-priced talent agent and asks if they can do their act. After some reluctance, the agent agrees. It always ends the same way too: After completing their act the family gathers in the middle of the room, takes a bow, and waits for the agent’s reaction. After a long pause he finally asks, “That’s an interesting act, what do you call it?” “The Aristocrats,” yells the father triumphantly.
And that’s the joke. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to try the veal. Etc. Etc.
Only, get this, that’s not really the joke. The joke, as it were, is on the listener, and it’s on the listener precisely because the joke’s not really funny. You see, in between the beginning and the end each comedian says the foulest, filthiest, nastiest stuff imaginable. It’s a contest with himself to see what he can get away with. It’s a psych-out, a prank. The comedian, you see, is laughing at you, not with you.
Which brings us to Paris Hilton. I’m not quite sure if the fact that she’s famous pretty much just for being famous means the joke is on her or us. But one thing is for sure, she’s not in on it either way.
I call her, “The Aristocrat.” Tada!
Paris Hilton stars in the upcoming horror film "House of Wax," and recently sat down with Cinema Confidential in Los Angeles to discuss her work on the film.
Q: You’ve been considered one of the hardest working people in show business-
PARIS: I am.
Q: Some say you’re out seven days a week, and are one of the few people who come from society that actually have a career. How did that happen?
PARIS: My family’s always taught me to be humble and just to, I dunno, work for something - to make something of my own. I just wanted to – I want to make more money than my parents. Like I just wanted to do something to prove to myself, I didn’t want to be like all these socialites – they sit at home, and go to the debutant ball, and marry some rich guy and that’s it. That’s all they do. I wanted to do my own thing so I could buy whatever I want, do whatever I want. It’s a lot of work, I have to work hard.
Q: Wouldn’t it be easier just to do the other thing though?
PARIS: I wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t. I don’t like taking other people’s –
Q: But it seems like that when you first started, when we first saw your name in the paper, it didn’t seem like you had any ambition to be anything other than a party girl. So when did that change?
PARIS: Well, I moved to New York when I was 15 years old. I was living at the Waldorf. Any teenager – you were invited, you’re going to go. Now I’m over it cause I got to do that at a young age. When I turned 18, I was like, “I’ll move to LA, and I wanna act.” I started modeling at like 16, and from there it…The Simple Life sorta made it.
Q: That’s a little scripted, isn’t it?
PARIS: No. This past, the third season wasn’t scripted but it was kinda like, whatever. Now we’re going back to complete and total reality for the fourth season.
Q: Is Nicole Ritchie coming back?
PARIS: No.
Q: What happened between the two of you?
PARIS: I don’t want to talk about her. I just hope she’s happy and healthy. And season four is going to be amazing. I wish the best for her.
Q: You’re still friends?
PARIS: Yeah! Err, no!
Q: What was this film experience like?
PARIS: It was really an amazing experience. We got to go to Australia. Great cast, an amazing director, doing a Joel Silver film. The first night I was really scared, because it was my first night on a really big film. But after that I felt comfortable.
Q: Do you see this as something different from the smaller film roles and television work you’ve done?
PARIS: Yeah, it’s like there’s a lot of pressure.
Q: You’ve been slapped around by the press. Did you know that would be coming?
PARIS: You know, I’m a good person. I don’t do anything wrong. I just have a good time. I’m good to all my friends. If there’s some writer that wants to write something mean about me when they don’t even know me, then they can do that. I don’t read anything. Like, I look at pictures! Just cause I like to see, “Oh, I like that outfit last week.” Whatever. But I don’t read it because I don’t like to upset myself.
Q: What is the biggest public or media misconception about you?
PARIS: I think the biggest misconception is that I don’t work for a living – I don’t do anything. I really work harder than anyone I know. People are like, “I don’t know how you do it, you’re a machine.” I’m like, “I know.”
Q: Do you think you’re smarter than people give you credit for?
PARIS: Yeah, I think that on "The Simple Life" I kinda play it off. That’s just – it’s fun. I wanted it to be like "Legally Blonde." It wouldn’t be funny if I –
Q: Was smarter than everyone else?
PARIS: Yeah.
Q: No one stupid could do the stuff you’re doing –
PARIS: People can think what they want to think. Sometimes I like to play it that way so I can read people better, because if you kinda act that way people don’t think you realize what they’re doing, and they would say more than they would.
Q: Your sexuality has become part of your identity. That’s something you never would have expected, consciously in a way, and yet this movie seems to play off it a little bit. Can you talk about that?
PARIS: They needed, you know, the sexy character. So I played it as the sexy girl, and whatever, every movie needs it, and I’m glad to do it. Whatever.
Q: There’s a little backstory…When you’re in the truck and you reach down and –
PARIS: But that was really lip balm, yeah, that was what it was supposed to be. I saw it and I was like “Ewww.”
Q: Was that an inside joke in a way? (Note: this scene, which is filmed with a green filter, leads the audience to assume Paris is performing oral sex.)
PARIS: I don’t know.
Q: But with the video camera, where you tell the guy, “No no, I don’t want to be filmed?”
PARIS: We were all saying that. No one wanted to be filmed. That kid was, like, annoying everybody.
Q: What about your death scene?
PARIS: The death scene is awesome. It was really hard to shoot. It took two days, and that was filming night shoots which are the worst hours ever. But it helped with the character because I was supposed to be cold, and miserable, and crying so I like literally was crying I was so miserable.
Q: You’ve become part of a federal situation with your cell phone. What’s the fall-out from that?
PARIS: Yeah, there was a hacker and he’s been arrested. I don’t know how these things happen to me. It’s really strange.
Q: Have you had trouble with the paparazzi?
PARIS: They live outside my house. I’ve cried before because I’ve had to drive like 100 m.p.h., drive through red lights. They’ll go through anything. I think there should be a law in Los Angeles. You could go to a premier, but not at someone’s house.
Q: You ever have days when you just want to be anonymous?
PARIS: I do. You know what I do now? In Japan – you know those SARS masks? I get a black wig, sunglasses, a hat and a SARS mask. And it totally works. And my other one is in Vegas I like get a big frizzy wig and some sunglasses.
Q: Is a career in film something you want to do?
PARIS: Everything. I’m a brand.
You're a raging dumbass. Go away.