Youth Likes Head

[SnotBag]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=661594

MORRISVILLE, Vt. Apr 11, 2005 — A 17-year-old Morrisville youth was being held on $100,000 bail after police said he raided a tomb in a cemetery and removed a head from a corpse. "We had a person voice their concerns about information they had heard on the street," said Chief Richard Keith of the Morristown Police Department.

Keith said police at first could not believe what they had heard. But when they went to Morrisville Cemetery and investigated, they found that someone had broken into a tomb, broken open the casket and removed a man's head. "We had the funeral director come to the scene and we pulled the casket out. Yes, indeed, we found remains and they had been disturbed," Keith said.

Nickolas Buckalew, 17, later was arrested and charged with unauthorized removal of a dead body. He pleaded innocent to the crime. Police believe they have a strong case against Buckalew because remains and evidence were found in a silo near the suspect's home outside the village and 2/10ths of a mile from the cemetery. "Within minutes we found the duffle bag with the remains in it and tools that were used to enter the tomb and the casket," Keith said.

The victim's widow, the only family member in the area, was told of the vandalism. "The widow was in shock," the chief said. "She did not want any information. She did not want to know any details." Authorities are not sure of the motive of the crime. Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana.

[Paelos]

DUDE! Make a bong out of a freaking Jar or something. You don't have to rob graves for that.

[WayAbvPar]

Sounds like the kid listened to a bit too much Denis Leary-

That's the problem in this country. People are never satisfied with stuff the way it is. You gotta make it bigger and better and stronger and faster. Same way with pot. For years pot was just joints, and then bongs came out and bongs were ok too, but then bongs weren't good enough for some people. "Neeehhhhhh!" Remember that friend in high school wanted to make bongs out of everything. Making bongs out of apples and oranges and shit? Come in one day and find your friend going, "Hey! Look man, I made a bong outta my head! Put the pot in this ear and take it outta this one! Good! Take a hit!

and

Here's ten bucks! Bring me the head of Barry Manilow, alright? I wanna drink beer out of his empty head! I wanna have a Barry Manilow skull keg party at my apartment, ok?! You write the songs, we'll drink the beer out of your head.

[Furiously]

I immediately thought of Denis Leary when reading this story. Glad to see someone else did too Way.

Dude - spend $10 and buy one of these....

[voodoolily]

Why the skull bong, when you can have this?



This is, I shit you not, the bong I inherited from my dad when I turned 18. Mine was golden colored though. I used to fill it with iced blackberry-sage tea. I loved that thing so much. *gets misty-eyed*

[Pococurante]

It never occurred to me to save all my bongs as legacies.  Though I still have a chest I haven't opened since Reagan was prez...

[schild]

Though I still have a chest I haven't opened since Reagan was prez...

That, my friend, is Pandora's box. And I IMPLORE you, do NOT open it.

[Pococurante]

It's become something of a family joke so no I may *never* open it...  but also why deflate a perfectly good enigma if it turns out just to be full of empty beer cans and unpaid speeding tickets.  And two vintage 60s silkscreen wallhangings (wadded into a ball) a road hippie gave me on my first Shark Hunt.

[schild]

Ok, see. Now I even want to know what's in there. Even if opening the box means killing all mankind.

[HaemishM]

Even if opening the box means killing all mankind.

It's not like we're doing much with life anyway.

[voodoolily]

The new avatars are even scarier than the onslaught of Afflecks. Especially the Bowie. Can I have some of whatever you guys are on?

[Samwise]

The new avatars are even scarier than the onslaught of Afflecks. Especially the Bowie. Can I have some of whatever you guys are on?

You complained about the Afflecks and said Jude Law would be better, and I acceded to your wishes, mostly.  Can I do nothing right?   

[voodoolily]

Not you, Samwise. You are nice and swell, and you get a cookie. But your newer one is hard for me to identify as Mr. Law. I don't even know who Haemish is.

[Samwise]

[voodoolily]

Oh, from AI. Of course. Thank you.

[HaemishM]

I don't even know who Haemish is.

William Burroughs, of course.

[voodoolily]

Oh. God, I'm really out of it these days. Did you guys manually draw creepy faces over the pics, or is there something else I don't know about?

[WayAbvPar]

We could tell you, but then we would have to kill you.

[voodoolily]

Well, based on my keenly-astute observation skills, I can see that the face is the same on all you weirdos. It is merely the underlying photos that change. Hmmm.....

Brain hurt. Voodoolily mad!