Ditching.

[Merusk]

I believe women can sense self-confidence instinctually, and think that if you don't have it, there must be a good reason for it. Of course, as life with my beautiful wife has taught me, I know jack and shit about what women think, so take what I say with a value-sized grain of salt.

No, that statement makes perfect sense. I recall from my human sexuality class back in college that one of the biggest attractors for womeon was confidence.  Stick 10 guys in the same rags and you can't tell which one makes the most dough as a provider, but you can tell which one has the most outgoing personality and confidence, and therefore is most likely to be able to provide.

It's also akin to the predator sense I suspect men have.  You just *know* when someone else is scared, helpless and vulnerable and therefore able to be walked upon/ used at your leisure.  You might ignore it out of 'niceness' and being unwilling to take advantage of someone, but that doesn't mean it's not there.  This accounts for the biggest assholes perfectly picking women that will, by and large, stay with them despite the beatings, verbal and emotional abuse.

[HaemishM]

I tend to look for the "sure thing", and even then I have only happened across it about....once. And it would have been for a one-night relationship...and I was drunk....and I still turned it down.

Stupid Integrity.

I almost had a sure thing once, except she was drunk and offering. Just like you, I turned it down. I turned it down because I knew that if I took advantage of her, nothing would ever come of a relationship. SInce nothing ever did come of a relationship anyway, I probably should have just hit that and moved on. Honor makes blue balls and whatnot.

I'd have probably needed to doublebag it had I taken her up on the offer though, if you know what I mean, so it worked out for the best, I'm sure.

[voodoolily]

I fell in love my current sig other because he was quiet(ish), geeky, and hell of sarcastic. He usually only said smart-assy stuff. And when I would say something gross, like I just tasted garlic when I burped, he would always say, "haaawt". Oh! Actually, come to think of it, I realized he was hot all at once when I gave him a friendly goodbye hug and he smelled so sexy I thought I was gonna wet myself. He was wearing Aqua di Gio (Georgio Armani). And he got my back when assholes made inappropriate comments to me. I also happen to have a huge nerd-fetish. But the friend zone is not a bad place to be. He told me that if I hadn't made the first move, he prolly woulda waited months before asking me out. You just gotta have a nice little surprise, like smelling like sex. Just don't wear too much! If I can taste you before you enter the room, you've already failed.

So my formula for success:

1)Be smart and nice; wear glasses. Be in the friend zone.
2)Tell her she's hot (not that she "looks nice"). That is as much flirting that's necessary. Girls know when you want them.
3)Smell sexy, but only detectably so when she's close
4)Get her back when sleazebags hit on her. She'll thank you for it.

Good luck!

[Strazos]

I fell in love my current sig other because he was quiet(ish), geeky, and hell of sarcastic. He usually only said smart-assy stuff. And when I would say something gross, like I just tasted garlic when I burped, he would always say, "haaawt". Oh! Actually, come to think of it, I realized he was hot all at once when I gave him a friendly goodbye hug and he smelled so sexy I thought I was gonna wet myself. He was wearing Aqua di Gio (Georgio Armani). And he got my back when assholes made inappropriate comments to me. I also happen to have a huge nerd-fetish. But the friend zone is not a bad place to be. He told me that if I hadn't made the first move, he prolly woulda waited months before asking me out. You just gotta have a nice little surprise, like smelling like sex. Just don't wear too much! If I can taste you before you enter the room, you've already failed.

So my formula for success:

1)Be smart and nice; wear glasses. Be in the friend zone.
2)Tell her she's hot (not that she "looks nice"). That is as much flirting that's necessary. Girls know when you want them.
3)Smell sexy, but only detectably so when she's close
4)Get her back when sleazebags hit on her. She'll thank you for it.

Good luck!

I'm not entirely sure how you did it, but....

If I was a nail, that post was like a damn Vorpal Sledgehammer of Pwnage +7 or something.

Except the glasses bit...they would clash with my Perfect++ eyesight.

But how about sunglasses? About half the chicks I know in my history classes are calling me fucking Keanu now. I'm nto sure if that's a complement or a backhanded insult, or what...

Once again, Fuck You New Jersey, Fuck you in your stupid ass and just die. And fuck you Rowan University, by extension.

[HaemishM]

It's an insult if you're trying to act.

[Paelos]

It's an insult if you're trying to act.

It's a compliment if you are attempting to save humanity.

[voodoolily]

Sunglasses are stupid, unless they're exceedingly stylish (aviators look good on most people). So, no.
Hopefully girls are calling you Keanu because of physical similarities, not intelligence.

Oh, Haem already got that one for me.

[Strazos]

No way, they're sweet Oakleys, and they fit me perfectly. I look less retarded with them on, but that's just me.

Hopefully girls are calling you Keanu because of physical similarities, not intelligence.

No, it's a physical thing, so it's a compliment, I guess. I'm not a big fan of Keanu.

[WayAbvPar]

I think the only thing that gets this stigma off of your head is self-confidence.

This is the key. Of course, you could go a bit overboard*, but that is a personal choice. Like someone else said upthread, keeping the sexual tension up is key.


*certain parts of Leykis 101 got me laid a few times; enough for me to generate the self-confidence to not have to rely on acting like a prick to get attention. YMMV.

[NiX]

I have a pair of glasses that I never wear. I've been told I look sophisticated with them on and for that I haven't worn them since. Lilly, you give me hope. I'm overly quiet, geeky and very sarcastic. Though it seems my recent ex thought the sarcasm was a 24 hour thing. No matter what I said to her she would sit there and rant about how I'm always being sarcastic. Despite me telling her otherwise, she'd go on and on.

Anyway, I've never had luck with girls. For the most part people are known for saying I "stumble" into relationships by accident and get horribly lucky. I tend to think this is a very bad thing as it just means I can't actively go out and pick up a girl with relatively good success. I'll try and remember some of the advice given here. I think I'm golden on the smelling good part. The past 3 girlfriends I've had would often sniff me for the way I smelled. Speed Stick Cold Fusion and Soft Soap body wash Ocean Fresh for teh win!

[Viin]

I find crying yourself to sleep at night helps. Especially with self-confidence.

[Strazos]

Heh, I even forgot a very bad story...which I'm not about to retell...but I'll give you a hint...

Think Animal House.

Yes, something in that movie, in a way, really happened to me in real life.

Le sigh.

[HaemishM]

Think Animal House.

Yes, something in that movie, in a way, really happened to me in real life.

I hope they weren't ALL tissue.

[Paelos]

Heh, I even forgot a very bad story...which I'm not about to retell...but I'll give you a hint...

Think Animal House.

Yes, something in that movie, in a way, really happened to me in real life.

Le sigh.

You had sex with a 14 year old on the football field? Are you posting from Federal Pound-me-in-the-ass Prison?

[Strazos]

roflcopter in a public computer lab, hehe, anyway....

Nope, nothing illegal, and no tissue involved.

But I was drunk and watching Speedvision at the time. A girl friend of mine still cannot fathom how it could have happened even though I was drunk and not actively particpating.

[Sky]

That poor horse.

[Llava]

My girlfriend has a thing for Curve For Men.  I don't know why, all colognes smell the same to me.  But it works.  She's all over me whenever I'm wearing it, which is now every time I'm going to see her.

[Toast]

What has helped my non Brad Pitt looking self do well with women is:

Do nice things for single female friends without an expectation of relationship. Slip in some subtle flirts.
Be funny and witty (in moderation)
Be intellectual. Share worldly experiences. Teach them about wine. Write clever emails and stories.
Have your stuff together financially with plans for the future. Women love security.
Don't talk a lot about computer gaming.
Frequently offer to beat up their ex-boyfriends.

[Viin]

I find that simply ignoring women works well too.

No no, really, it does work. Especially on women who are use to being the center of attention.

(And by ignoring, I mean being civil and not flirting or drooling on them like every other guy).

At least, as long as you aren't a creep - then they are just thankful.

[Furiously]

True story. I've been hitting on this girl all year at school. Well - I finally throw in the towel three weeks before school ends. I am out at a bar one night. Her roommate comes up to me and we end up going back to my place. She and I have a great drunken mash and surprise the heck out of my other roommates when they walk in on the two of us in the morning (My other roomies had been the two girls roommates the previous year). So a week goes by and the girl I had been hitting on calls me and says, "Shelly says you are the best kisser she has ever met, wanna go out?"

I agree the confidence thing is huge.

[voodoolily]

What has helped my non Brad Pitt looking self do well with women is:

Do nice things for single female friends without an expectation of relationship. Slip in some subtle flirts.
Be funny and witty (in moderation)
Be intellectual. Share worldly experiences. Teach them about wine. Write clever emails and stories.
Have your stuff together financially with plans for the future. Women love security.
Don't talk a lot about computer gaming.
Frequently offer to beat up their ex-boyfriends.

Bold mine. It's funny, but I really think that part of my attractiveness to my sweetie is that I game. I think I went from regular female friend who is cute to potential girlfreind material the moment I mentioned I was playing Wind Waker for the second time. If he hadn't been talking about gaming, I wouldn'ta had a chance to bring it up. But then, I suspect that most geeky guys think it's cool when chicks game.

[Strazos]

Someone kill this thread, before it shows up as a joke on SomethingAwful.

[voodoolily]

I meant barring Chocolate Yuna and her ilk.

[Llava]

Yes, having a girlfriend who is a gamer is a very good thing.

My girlfriend isn't a gamer, but she does play games on occasion.  I don't think she ever got past level 8 on City of Heroes.  MMOGs aren't for her.  She never beat RE4.  She loves the game, but it creeps her out.  She loves Wind Waker.

[Stephen Zepp]

I think the one thing that has always amazed me is that girls always want what other girls have.

When I was in the Air Force, my squadron just about always flew at night, so I'd be going in to work about 4 in the afternoon, landing around 2 AM, and just have enough time to go catch a beer or two (bars closed at 4 AM) before hitting the sack.

As it turns out, the only place that was actually open with anyone there was a strip club, and hey, I've got no problem with strip clubs, so I wound up being a regular. They had a couple of pool tables in the back, and I'd just play for an hour or two, have a couple of beers, and hang out with whatever dancer wasn't busy/was bored.

As should be obvious to most, your chances of actually getting a date out of a dancer when you only know her from the place she works is absolutely nil, so while I would flirt, etc., I never seriously worried about actually dating any of them (well, ok, so there was this one I wanted badly...), so basically I just hung out playing pool, and occasionally getting invited to parties and stuff (nothing big).

After about a year and a half of absolutely -zero- action in any form, I was walking back to the bathroom, and one of the strippers came out of the dressing room (the door was next to the bathrooms, and in a semi-secluded alcove), took a quick look around, and then walked up and wrapped herself around me, planting a big ass kiss on me that left no doubts whatsoever about what she wanted. I wound up taking her home that night, and we had a great time, yadda yadda.

The next night, one of the girls that I had known for 6+ months started flirting with me heavily, and invited me out to her place after work, so of course I went, and of course I didn't turn her down when she made it obvious what she wanted.

A week after that, yet another one of the girls I knew there walked up to me while I was ordering a beer, and dropped her hand down to my crotch and started rubbing me...and then dropped her phone number into my pants pocket and walked away. Since she was by far way out of my league, there was no chance in hell I wasn't tagging that, so I wound up hooking up with -her- as well.

Less than a week later, one of my roomates moved out, and I happened to let it slip in the club, and 2 days later two of the dancers moved in with me. While it wasn't a "relationship", I quickly wound up heading directly home on the nights at least one of them wasn't working   

Moral of the story: Not ONE of these chicks was interested in me until that first one, and then within a month I was the hottest thing around--and while I have a decent confidence level, I'm not god's gift to women in any form..so to this day the only thing I can think of that triggered all this is that they all wanted what the others had.

[Llava]

Dayum.

You win.  You're the f13 pimp.

[voodoolily]

Your story doesn't fit here. And, lest we forget, the women in the story were professional sluts. Sluts fuck anyone. Maybe it was the uniform, or that you weren't stuffing money in them.

[Stephen Zepp]

Dayum.

You win.  You're the f13 pimp.

Never happened before, and will never happen again (hell, I didn't get laid for the first time until I was 20), but boy will I never forget that summer...

[Stephen Zepp]

Your story doesn't fit here. And, lest we forget, the women in the story were professional sluts. Sluts fuck anyone. Maybe it was the uniform, or that you weren't stuffing money in them.

Bah, you were the one that started talking about what attracts you to men, and it triggered remembering the story :P

And lest we forget, that stereotype isn't in fact all that apropos to most dancers.

[Margalis]

Women are much better than men at reading expressions and body language. That's why they pick up on the self-confidence thing so well.

A pet peeve of mine is people who complain about being "just friends" and say it's because they are nice guys. That really doesn't have a whole lot to do with it. My personal experience is that many self-described "nice guys" aren't just nice but have some pretty obvious failing like intense shyness, social ineptitude, etc.

I would also say that mistreating women to get them is a dumb idea, but there is something to be said for not being doting. It's always good to leave someone wanting more. You can't try too hard, because then it makes it look like you care too much, which can be weird and creepy. You want to look like a guy who has other stuff going on and is happy with their place in life, not a guy that OMG needs this date or he'll die.

[voodoolily]

And women, like dogs, can smell fear. Don't forget it.

Zepp, I was just bustin' yer stones. You go, boy.

[Miguel]

I started dating this wonderful girl about 4 months ago.  For the first month, I didn't let on that I was a gamer:  hell, I almost hid my joysticks and gamepads so she wouldn't see them.

About one month after I met her, I called her up after work to see what was going on.  She didn't answer her home phone.  So I tried her cell phone...still no answer.  This was very unlike her, as she likes to talk at a specific time after she gets off work.  But this time, nothing.

She calls me back about one hour later, apologizing profusely.  "What were you doing?", I ask.  She answers, "Well, I was playing games on the Xbox and got tied up and couldn't answer the phone!".  Needless to say we now have an Xbox, and game on it constantly.

I think she's a keeper! :)

[schild]

She calls me back about one hour later, apologizing profusely.  "What were you doing?", I ask.  She answers, "Well, I was playing games on the Xbox and got tied up and couldn't answer the phone!".  Needless to say we now have an Xbox, and game on it constantly.

I think she's a keeper! :)

A million voices just cried out, "Go fuck yourself."

But they were drowned in envy.

[Stephen Zepp]

She calls me back about one hour later, apologizing profusely.  "What were you doing?", I ask.  She answers, "Well, I was playing games on the Xbox and got tied up and couldn't answer the phone!".  Needless to say we now have an Xbox, and game on it constantly.

I think she's a keeper! :)

A million voices just cried out, "Go fuck yourself."

But they were drowned in envy.

I'm not sure which is more intriguing--her playing the xBox, or her being tied up...

/duck

[Strazos]

/rimshot