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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Movies  |  Topic: Useless Movies 0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 11748 times)
Velorath
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Reply #280 on: June 27, 2017, 12:55:25 AM

Blame China for the continued existence of those movies.
schild
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Reply #281 on: June 27, 2017, 01:06:28 AM

on the list of things I want to blame china for, the transformers doesn't even hit the top 50
Samwise
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Reply #282 on: June 27, 2017, 01:28:50 PM

RedLetterMedia has made a running gag over the last week of posting fake review videos of the new Transformers movie.  It's past Adam Sandler levels of contempt.

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Cyrrex
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Reply #283 on: June 28, 2017, 12:15:34 AM

Not that I care overly much about it, but my first thought was indeed that this is what we get for having to cater to the Chinese market.  But thinking over it further, I think it is just as much about the international market in general.  Although anecdotal, my wife is a good example of this.  When exiting this particular movie we begin discussing what we thought about it.  I said it was awful, my two boys (12 and 15) who are somewhat more Americanized than my wife and have better inherent English ability were pretty "meh" leaning towards the negative.  We could all agree that these TF movies, while never great, actually seem to get worse and worse.  My wife, born and raised in Denmark, never quite sees it the same way.  She thought it was okay, or at least on par with lots of other, better made action flicks.  The utter cornball, horrific and offensive dialogue?  Flies straight over her head.  This goes for tons of movies and TV shows.  The truly terrible stuff just looks like average stuff to her.

I guess it is about appealing to the lowest common denominator, or something. 

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Ragnoros
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Reply #284 on: June 29, 2017, 11:56:17 PM

My honest theory is that Michael Bay is trying to figure out just how awful and offensive of a movie he can make before people will stop paying money to see it.

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Cyrrex
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Reply #285 on: June 30, 2017, 12:00:34 AM

I think Spielberg attaches his name to that stuff as well, though I don't know how much of a part he really plays.  That man's career is really inexplicable.  He was figuratively shitting gold back in the day, but at some point he must have exploded an important vein in his head.  Has he made anything in the last decade that didn't make me want to punch a kitten?

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Ironwood
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Reply #286 on: June 30, 2017, 03:10:06 AM

Watched Lego Batman last night.

I was bored and irritated the whole way through.  I think there was exactly one laugh.

Did I have expectations set to high or summat ?

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
NowhereMan
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Reply #287 on: June 30, 2017, 03:15:04 AM

The dialogue probably has something to do with it, non-native speakers even if they have an extremely good grasp of the language still don't quite get the difference between meh and terrible dialogue. In a lot of other countries I suspect subtitles also do a better job than the writers on those movies. The action itself with Transformers (and all Michael Bay films) is grand and loud and has good effects. I think perhaps Americans have a pretty unique thing of rating the quality of big, explosiony action movies. I kind of lump them all together myself although I haven't seen the TF films past the first one to judge if they've gone down hill. The first one was fairly dire and didn't deliver any of the characters or plot I was hoping for from a Transformers film.

Lego Batman: I laughed a bit at it but the plot wasn't as well done or thoughtful as the Lego movie. I think it was fun as a kids movie but it was more a Dreamworks than a Pixar type kids movie. They saw what worked in the Lego movie but didn't really have the ability to pull it off. I think it's fair to compare them though, they clearly went in using that previous success to sell it.

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Ironwood
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Reply #288 on: June 30, 2017, 03:23:08 AM

Elena loved it even on, I think, 3rd watching for her now, so it's defo a kids one, but I really expected more for me.  It just wasn't there.

Also, I thought for a Batman bit, the voice chaps were all awful.  The only thing that broadly made me smile was the two scenes harking back to all the other Batmen.  But even that became overdone by the final fight scene with the Adam West Fight-Words.

I dunno.  I'd like to think I'm not just being IronCunty, but it really didn't work for me on any level.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Merusk
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Reply #289 on: June 30, 2017, 05:17:52 AM

Watched Lego Batman last night.

I was bored and irritated the whole way through.  I think there was exactly one laugh.

Did I have expectations set to high or summat ?

No, I said the same thing when it came out. I was so bored I fell asleep after the Batman history joke. It was, to me, like watching a movie aimed at 6-8 year olds with no real jokes for parents. I enjoyed The Secret Life of Pets more.

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Khaldun
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Reply #290 on: June 30, 2017, 07:58:03 AM

I tried watching it on a plane. I thought it was dumb, I could only put up with it for about twenty minutes.
calapine
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Reply #291 on: July 11, 2017, 05:57:47 PM

Trailer for a film that is out already quite a while


Russian SF action film. I would say "ЇЍDЭPԐЍDЭЙҪЄ DДЧ" but it does seem to be a bit more story heavy.

Anyway, watch yourself. There are english subs, just need to be turned on:

Attraction Official Trailer #3

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Ironwood
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Reply #292 on: July 15, 2017, 10:40:04 AM

Despicable Me 3, continuing the Minions Trend of being fucking garbage and running this franchise into the ground.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Signe
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Reply #293 on: July 16, 2017, 10:07:02 PM

Did Elena like it, though?

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Ironwood
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Reply #294 on: July 17, 2017, 03:10:05 AM

Yes, she loved it.   awesome, for real


(It's really bad tho.)

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Sir T
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Reply #295 on: July 17, 2017, 03:59:31 AM

I thought the Minions in the first movie were used perfectly. Not too much so as they didn't spoil the gags, kept the focus on the main characters. The other movies... Urrgh...

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Ironwood
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Reply #296 on: July 17, 2017, 04:34:46 AM

I guess it depends on your view of the minons.  I find them fucking annoying and while funny in the first one, it's a one-note joke that wears quickly.

Whereas, Mark Kermode, the film critic I most listen to, did his review of this film where he liked it entirely due to the minions.

Who knows !

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
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Reply #297 on: July 27, 2017, 01:35:50 AM

Just watched Adjustment Bureau and boy that's a better movie than I remember despite being a bit heavy handed.
Ironwood
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Reply #298 on: July 27, 2017, 06:20:20 AM

It's ok, I liked the romance, but it got very, very, very 'God-y'

I do not like too much God in my films.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
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Reply #299 on: July 27, 2017, 10:02:45 AM

I appreciated them only saying angels once. But more to the point, the god stuff bothered me less here because the overall premise was more interesting. I also like the whole free will is an illusion thing coming from on high rather than some nonsense corporate overlord like it does in so many sci-fi movies.

But mostly, it was just way more entertaining than I remembered.
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Reply #300 on: July 27, 2017, 10:19:41 PM

The Circle is maybe one of the worst 5 star-studded movies I've ever seen.
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Reply #301 on: July 27, 2017, 10:47:51 PM

Yeah that one looked like total trite bullshit from the first trailer. Like The Net only with a less interesting premise.

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Reply #302 on: July 27, 2017, 11:49:15 PM

The net was great for what it was. The circle was absolute dogshit.
Ironwood
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Reply #303 on: July 29, 2017, 04:43:42 PM

Wait, was that the one where aliens have captured everyone and they have to be in some kind of stupid alien game show where only one survives ?  I liked it.  Because lots of people died and Darla was in it.

On the matter of Dogshit, however, I just watched that Fantastic Potter Cash Ins and Where to Find Them.

Jesus fuck. 

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
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Reply #304 on: July 30, 2017, 10:04:31 AM

what? The circle was the Netflix Tom Hanks / Emma Watson tour de force that was clearly written by retards. The Net was a Sandra Bullock vehicle from the mid 90s.
Ruvaldt
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Reply #305 on: July 30, 2017, 11:16:25 AM

Circle (what Ironwood is talking about) and The Circle (the Hanks/Watson movie) are two different movies.  Both available on Netflix, but neither worth watching.

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Ironwood
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Reply #306 on: July 30, 2017, 11:51:00 AM

what? The circle was the Netflix Tom Hanks / Emma Watson tour de force that was clearly written by retards. The Net was a Sandra Bullock vehicle from the mid 90s.

Yeah, in that case I don't care.  About either.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
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Reply #307 on: August 01, 2017, 02:16:11 PM

The Dark Tower - 95 minutes (lol)
IT - 135 minutes for the first HALF

so

yeah

9/8 can't come soon enough
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