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Author Topic: Conan Exiles [NSFW]  (Read 25381 times)
01101010
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You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #70 on: February 01, 2017, 08:53:54 AM

Oh god, that gif has me laughing so hard I'm tearing up and can't even read the rest of the thread.

I was like that (still am) with just the image from Ginaz.

"I want to watch it all burn in an orgy of smashed Coke machines and weasel rape." - HaemishM
Bzalthek
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Reply #71 on: February 01, 2017, 09:34:17 AM

Ok I bought this solely because it's been a very long time since Schild gave praise to a game.  Or anything.

Or liked anything. 

At all.

That's worth 30 bucks!

"Pity hurricanes aren't actually caused by gays; I would take a shot in the mouth right now if it meant wiping out these chucklefucks." ~WayAbvPar
Khaldun
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Reply #72 on: February 01, 2017, 11:29:37 AM

Isn't this just Rust with some vague Conan reskinning?
HaemishM
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Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and other troops you control.


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Reply #73 on: February 01, 2017, 11:44:03 AM

I think it's supposed to be more a small-scale/single-player/co-op Conan the MMO altered through the lens of Rust.

kaid
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Reply #74 on: February 01, 2017, 12:41:58 PM

So are there any um "stretch goals" for the early access? Because if doing early access made your characters schlong bigger then that may have hit nerdvana levels of perfection.
Bunk
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Reply #75 on: February 01, 2017, 02:05:52 PM

Sigh... remotely installing now.

"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
schild
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Reply #76 on: February 01, 2017, 04:36:59 PM

Ok I bought this solely because it's been a very long time since Schild gave praise to a game.  Or anything.

Or liked anything. 

At all.

That's worth 30 bucks!
I haven't even bought or played it yet!
Bzalthek
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"Use the Soy Sauce, Luke!" WHOM, ZASH, CLISH CLASH! "Umeboshi Kenobi!! NOOO!!!"


Reply #77 on: February 01, 2017, 06:02:00 PM

Yeah, I know.  Not relevant. 

"Pity hurricanes aren't actually caused by gays; I would take a shot in the mouth right now if it meant wiping out these chucklefucks." ~WayAbvPar
PalmTrees
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Reply #78 on: February 01, 2017, 06:54:04 PM

So are there any um "stretch goals" for the early access? Because if doing early access made your characters schlong bigger then that may have hit nerdvana levels of perfection.
There's a dick slider. Check out Kotaku for a vid. I approve of nudity in games, but is there a game with a story and stuff or is just wander around and make your own fun. I built up all the settlements in FO4 but I only hung around long enough  because there was also story stuff to do.
hal1
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Reply #79 on: February 01, 2017, 08:43:36 PM

There is a junk slider and a boob slider. And there is a total nude option for both sexes, but your gonna make armor as soon as you can. It is as important as weapons. General advice follow the road. There is a water bag and note near where you start. The water bag is key. Your not gonna go far if you don't find it. Following the road you will come to a pond/lake. Gather everything as you go down that road. Craft stone tools/weapons and armor if you can. Now at the pond/lake there will be a croc and heyenias. Advoid them at first. When you can kill that croc no problem it is time to move on. You want to find mountains. You want to climb those and find blue rocks. They will give iron ore which makes iron weapons and armor. And at that point you gotta consider what do you want to do here. As the pve you can pretty much handle without being stupid and attacking a rhino or something. Now what I have posted is way more than I have done. I got to the pond/lake and died. There is a bunch of enemies there so weapons/armor would be good. Crafting would be a good thing and skilling up crafting and thus gathering everything. I am thinking (again I have not done this) That a small shack bedroll fire would be good at this first pond/lake and just gather everything and get crafting to the point that you can make a furnace which will turn iron ore into iron bars.  I have put I am guessing 30 minutes in play time and let us say 6 hours into watching you tube lets plays to get to this point. So for what it is worth there it is. I hope it helps some one get started.
Ginaz
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Reply #80 on: February 01, 2017, 09:10:32 PM


Check out Kotaku for a vid.

Nope.  Never.
schild
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Reply #81 on: February 02, 2017, 12:07:51 AM

There is a junk slider and a boob slider. And there is a total nude option for both sexes, but your gonna make armor as soon as you can. It is as important as weapons. General advice follow the road. There is a water bag and note near where you start. The water bag is key. Your not gonna go far if you don't find it. Following the road you will come to a pond/lake. Gather everything as you go down that road. Craft stone tools/weapons and armor if you can. Now at the pond/lake there will be a croc and heyenias. Advoid them at first. When you can kill that croc no problem it is time to move on. You want to find mountains. You want to climb those and find blue rocks. They will give iron ore which makes iron weapons and armor. And at that point you gotta consider what do you want to do here. As the pve you can pretty much handle without being stupid and attacking a rhino or something. Now what I have posted is way more than I have done. I got to the pond/lake and died. There is a bunch of enemies there so weapons/armor would be good. Crafting would be a good thing and skilling up crafting and thus gathering everything. I am thinking (again I have not done this) That a small shack bedroll fire would be good at this first pond/lake and just gather everything and get crafting to the point that you can make a furnace which will turn iron ore into iron bars.  I have put I am guessing 30 minutes in play time and let us say 6 hours into watching you tube lets plays to get to this point. So for what it is worth there it is. I hope it helps some one get started.

fuck that, if we have a server I want it to be pure mayhem

is there a way to turn off roads?

i want this server to look like the event horizon on the return trip

but with dicks
Bunk
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Operating Thetan One


Reply #82 on: February 02, 2017, 09:08:21 AM

I played for about 20 minutes last night. Its a straight up copy of Ark, but less pretty, more boob. Typically annoyances - I'm running along in clothes I just hand wove from grass while walking down the road, and I stumble on a body in full hide/fur armor beside a note. All I can do is read the note.

Made it to the pond Hal mentions. Got attached by big Ape thing and baby Ape thing. Baby Ape thing actually got the killing blow in on me, but big Ape thing was in the middle of winding up for a big overhand smash. It swung over my corpse and squashed baby Ape thing to a pulp. Was kind of funny.


"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
jakonovski
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Reply #83 on: February 02, 2017, 09:46:45 AM

Can you make a dick long enough to hang below a loincloth?
schild
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Reply #84 on: February 02, 2017, 12:55:44 PM

Can you make a dick long enough to hang below a loincloth?

Hard hitting important question.
Bunk
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Operating Thetan One


Reply #85 on: February 02, 2017, 02:49:10 PM

I admit, I do not know. I decided to make a girl for my test character. Interestingly, in First Person, the game actually gives you a full character model, so if you look down you can see your body.

I looked down to pick up a rock and couldn't see my feet...

"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
hal1
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Reply #86 on: February 02, 2017, 07:41:34 PM

uh press v for vanity to get a full frontal shot. And depending on your use of the slider your boobs are pretty fucking big.
Ginaz
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Reply #87 on: February 02, 2017, 10:10:31 PM

This keeps getting better. awesome, for real

hal1
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Reply #88 on: February 02, 2017, 10:29:35 PM

Ok trying to take my own advice. You will die of dehydration. Run down the road and get to the sea. Now there are enemies here and it is gonna be iffy. If you can avoid them  and gather all (and there's a lot to gather here). I am gonna say sword and board or 2 handed club are the way here. Run away from the croc. It seems like you can run away from everything if you run far enough. How much did you craft on your way to the sea? Hopefully a hatchet. But that wont bother the croc. The others if you get them 1 at a time you can do it but you gotta watch your health. I am thinking a small shack with a campfire and sleeping bag would be good here. Because you gotta do a Lotta crafting but theirs a lot of material here. Eat but rabbits are around and are stupid deer ish things are around and are not that hard. But you have to eat and drink.
Father mike
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Reply #89 on: February 03, 2017, 10:02:27 AM

This keeps getting better. awesome, for real


What's the deal with that bracelet everyone is wearing?  "I'm naked ... except for my highly armored left wrist!"

Naked with shoes would be funnier.

I would like to thank Vladimir Putin for ensuring that every member of the NPR news staff has had to say "Pussy Riot" on the air multiple times.
Trippy
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Reply #90 on: February 03, 2017, 10:10:40 AM

Some unknown person placed it on you to trap you within the Exiled Lands as the bracelet will kill you if you try to cross the green shimmering wall along the edges of the map.
Viin
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Reply #91 on: February 03, 2017, 10:36:15 AM


- Viin
Trippy
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Reply #92 on: February 03, 2017, 10:49:12 AM

They pointedly avoided answering the question about whether or not the server will be able to run on Linux in the future Ohhhhh, I see.
Signe
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Muse.


Reply #93 on: February 03, 2017, 12:08:16 PM

I don't know.  This is all getting kind of creepy.  Castration, dragging players off and stuffing them into iron maidens, wieners poking out from underneath loincloths....

So far, so awesome.

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schild
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Reply #94 on: February 03, 2017, 01:10:20 PM

They pointedly avoided answering the question about whether or not the server will be able to run on Linux in the future Ohhhhh, I see.


They did, but they also said any windows box can be used as a dedicated server.

Surely someone here has a good connection and extra windows box.
Teleku
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Reply #95 on: February 03, 2017, 01:20:44 PM

I have an extra windows box.  However, connection wise.....    why so serious?




Also, the FSB would just hack in and start trolling/ganking everybody.

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Rasix
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Reply #96 on: February 03, 2017, 01:30:18 PM

Clam slam for Putin!

-Rasix
Trippy
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Reply #97 on: February 03, 2017, 01:52:40 PM

They pointedly avoided answering the question about whether or not the server will be able to run on Linux in the future Ohhhhh, I see.
They did, but they also said any windows box can be used as a dedicated server.

Surely someone here has a good connection and extra windows box.
The problem is the game requires a decent GPU to run. That was my original question -- does the server also need a GPU or can you run it on a box with like a crappy Intel integrated GPU?
Khaldun
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Reply #98 on: February 03, 2017, 01:54:46 PM

That AMA made me feel like one of the strange aspect of the darkest timeline that I'm presently trapped in is that Jeff from Glitchless got hired by Funcom to design a MMO. Castration? Sure! Human sacrifice, why not. Fetuspults! Coming soon.
Abagadro
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Reply #99 on: February 03, 2017, 02:04:08 PM

You be quiet Khaldun, giant dongs are at steak!

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

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Signe
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Muse.


Reply #100 on: February 03, 2017, 02:05:54 PM

Human sacrifice and castration are what makes me the most excited! 

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
MrHat
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Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #101 on: February 03, 2017, 02:22:28 PM

I'm a bit out of the loop at the moment so I opened twitch.tv to see what the hubbab was about.

uBlock blocked 250+ requests. Jesus wtf.

Also, some of these boobs look heavy.
Trippy
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Reply #102 on: February 03, 2017, 02:37:39 PM

uBlock blocked 250+ requests. Jesus wtf.
Ads are one of the three sources of revenue for Twitch so they are a necessary evil cause there are so many people watching for free (bandwidth is cheap but not *that* cheap).
Cyrrex
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Reply #103 on: February 04, 2017, 02:31:52 AM

Imagine my disappointment that NSFW marked Conan thread contains only references to heavy boobs, but includes at least a couple of actual dong pics.  I mean, I don't mind that dongs, but you can't talk about boobs and not show them, that's illegal in at least 62 states.

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Xuri
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Reply #104 on: February 04, 2017, 07:58:30 AM

The problem is the game requires a decent GPU to run. That was my original question -- does the server also need a GPU or can you run it on a box with like a crappy Intel integrated GPU?
The dedicated server runs either in a command prompt (useful for seeing all the debugging logs and be able to safely shut down the server with CTRL+C) or invisible with nothing except process showing up in task manager.

I've been hosting a dedicated server for myself and a cpl of friends  using an old core 2 duo on my dad's 500/500 fiber connection, and ahhh it's so delicious. Especially since I can connect over LAN and get lag-free play <3 (at least, net-lag-free)

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