Random Intrawebs Advice Thread

[Yegolev]

Heh, I thought about that one already.  Unfortunately, sprinklers aren't a thing you do over here.  But I like the way you think!

Can you remind me where you are now?  I've lost some game pieces.

[Yegolev]

Yes, but then I see people giving him advice like turning the sprinklers on her or go complain to the HOA and I feel compelled to clear up the fact that the main objection here seems to be that she's ugly and the more adult way to handle isn't to talk to her and tell her she needs to stop doing something she enjoys, it's to get the hell over it.

Your position is likely the correct one, but I'm understanding the thread is to collect terrible advice.  In the end, I expect Cyrrex will not actually do anything terrible.

[Slayerik]

I'm pretty sure you are supposed to meet her in the middle here and let her give you a BJer. Neighborly.

[Rendakor]

This definitely has the potential to turn into a Nerf situation.

I look forward to reading 2 years from now that Cyrrex's wife and kids have left him and that he now lives in a homeless community under a bridge, but that it was totally worth it because he was able to extract $100 in damages from his neighbor.

As long as he documents his exploits here for our amusement, I am okay with your prediction.

[TheWalrus]

I vote "electrical fire." Or combustibles next to the house mysteriously erupted. Who knows how it went down.

I'm saying burn her house down.

[proudft]

It's not the same without the crazyeyes dog. 

[lamaros]

Talk to her and fix the fence in some way are the adult paths here.

The news here was recently talking about an old lady hoarder and her daughter who assaulted council workers who came to for able clear their front yard for the umpteenth time. It has been a local council issue for a number of years but nothing has been able to be done, and now there are going to be more court cases.

http://m.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/a-member-of-the-bobolas-bondi-hoarding-family-was-treated-for-a-cut-after-assault-claims/story-fni0cx4q-1226884826089

Your lady seems pretty mild in the crazy stakes, just build a fence and put it from your mind. Escalating is not worth it if a adult conversation can't change it.

[Cyrrex]

A quick recap of a fact or two:

Can you remind me where you are now?  I've lost some game pieces.

I am in Denmark.  This is a pretty laid back society, where something like this is generally tolerated.  As far as that goes, I think such attitudes are a good thing, in general.

Regarding the fence itself:  it isn't like this fence is see-through.  The slats are pretty much as close together as they can be.  The only way it could be improved on that front would be if it were solid.  The reason she is still visible through it is because it is literally bordering her driveway, so she is really close to it.  Even then, it isn't like you can see a ton of detail (I really, really try not to catch any detail).  It is actually worse if you go out of our driveway and walk or drive past.  There she is, for the whole world to see.  I should mention that we are right at the entrance to a popular bike/walking path, so she would be seen by dozens and dozens of innocents each day.

Another interesting fact:  while my wife and I both recall her sauntering about last summer wearing less than full clothing, it was fairly limited and never sunbathing.  We can't figure out why she has begun sunbathing out there, and why so often.

And yes, this is absolutely the terrible advice thread.  The grown up answers are appreciated, but this is as much for amusement as anything.

She was out there again yesterday.  Yum.

[apocrypha]

I should mention that we are right at the entrance to a popular bike/walking path, so she would be seen by dozens and dozens of innocents each day.

She may have exhibitionist tendencies and is getting a kick out of seeing people's reactions to her. In which case the best response would be complete indifference. Just stop caring at all. If you can learn to genuinely not give a fuck then it stops being a problem for you anyway :)

[Cyrrex]

I would go along with that explanation if she wasn't in all other ways a bit of a recluse.  Also, she is usually having a nap while she is out there, so it isn't like she is able to gauge reactions.  I am more apt to believe that she simply doesn't give a fuck.  That seems to fit well with other aspects of her existence.

It just occurred to me that she is also laying about in the area where my boys sometimes accidentally kick a soccer ball over the fence...which they then have to go fetch.  Won't that be interesting.

[ezrast]

Maybe if you sped up the tanning process she wouldn't need to be out there so much. Wait for her to take a nap out there and mount a large lens or parabolic reflector to your fence with her as the focal point.

[Cyrrex]

Now you're on board, dude.  It has crossed my mind that maybe she'll nap so long during one of these sessions, that's she burn herself to a crisp and not be able to spend time outside for a few months. 

[Yegolev]

Boy, I'll just delete that one.  You guys aren't old enough.

[Ironwood]

Wat?

[Cyrrex]

Yeah, what?

I just spent about an hour outside pulling weeds.  Without my shirt on.  GAME ON CRAZY CAT LADY.

[Lantyssa]

That'll show her!

Also if your kids kick the soccer ball into her yard and she's there naked, they'll quickly learn ball control.

[Ironwood]

Phrasing !!

[Paelos]

<snicker>

[Yegolev]

Just a reminder that I delete more than half my posts before they become posts.  That one almost made it.

[Ironwood]

Now you're just dicking with us.

Though I have to say about 25% percent of mine go the way of 'nup, not worth it.'  Why the other 75% get through, I have no idea.

[Yegolev]

It's important to dick with at least one person every Wednesday.

Are we done with the naked neighbor?  I'd post something silly to get advice on, but I only have first-world problems.

[Paelos]

It's important to dick with at least one person every Wednesday.

Are we done with the naked neighbor?  I'd post something silly to get advice on, but I only have first-world problems.

Show us what you got.

[Yegolev]

It's that bad, eh?

Alright, I think I have an innocuous one.  My shower heads have less force than they did ten years ago.  They are both in one shower and tee from the same pipe.  I did take off the one that I use and shake out some bits, but I don't know why the second one is slow since I hardly ever use it.  Same lack of pressure between hot and cold.  Maybe the whole house has dropped?  Not sure what I need to look at.

[Paelos]

You can get a gauge to check your house's water pressure on an outside faucet.

[Yegolev]

Boring.

It's Ant Season in Georgia, and the enemy troops are on the move.  What do I do?

[proudft]

Make some art: http://www.anthillart.com/

[apocrypha]

It's that bad, eh?

Alright, I think I have an innocuous one.  My shower heads have less force than they did ten years ago.  They are both in one shower and tee from the same pipe.  I did take off the one that I use and shake out some bits, but I don't know why the second one is slow since I hardly ever use it.  Same lack of pressure between hot and cold.  Maybe the whole house has dropped?  Not sure what I need to look at.

Climate change has altered the air pressure so the water has to fight against it more to get out of the shower head. What you need to do is reverse global warming.

[Paelos]

Boring.

It's Ant Season in Georgia, and the enemy troops are on the move.  What do I do?

Gas and matches, obviously. Then video the process on your phone from a close distance.

[MisterNoisy]

It's that bad, eh?

Alright, I think I have an innocuous one.  My shower heads have less force than they did ten years ago.  They are both in one shower and tee from the same pipe.  I did take off the one that I use and shake out some bits, but I don't know why the second one is slow since I hardly ever use it.  Same lack of pressure between hot and cold.  Maybe the whole house has dropped?  Not sure what I need to look at.

Have you cleaned the showerheads lately?

[Yegolev]

Cleaning the shower head was on the agenda until the unused one showed the same issue.  However, it really won't hurt.

Ant casting: too much digging.

[Trippy]

It's that bad, eh?

Alright, I think I have an innocuous one.  My shower heads have less force than they did ten years ago.  They are both in one shower and tee from the same pipe.  I did take off the one that I use and shake out some bits, but I don't know why the second one is slow since I hardly ever use it.  Same lack of pressure between hot and cold.  Maybe the whole house has dropped?  Not sure what I need to look at.

Tree roots have punctured your pipes and you are now leaking water underground

[Yegolev]

That is not impossible, I suppose.

[Lantyssa]

Obviously you should dig up all your pipes just to make sure one isn't leaking.

[Cyrrex]

It's important to dick with at least one person every Wednesday.

Are we done with the naked neighbor?  I'd post something silly to get advice on, but I only have first-world problems.

The reason I didn't call this thread the Crazy Naked Cat Lady thread is because I figured it would eventually play out, and we could then also use it for other useless random advice.  And in a ironic twist, I too have a problem with a shower head with reduced water pressure that I can't figure out, so I will be watching this space.

Naked lady was out doing her thing two days ago, but luckily it got too chilly yesterday for a repeat performance.  There isn't much else to say at this point.  Although, driving by a few times when she hasn't been out there, I notice that she does not actually seem to have a lawn chair that she lays on.  In the approximate place where she has been spotted sunbathing, there are a few plastic box looking things.  I can't help but wonder if she is somehow laying on a couple of those.  It sounds ridiculous, but believe me - crazy naked cat lady does not clean up after herself, so it is very unlikely that she is moving a lawn chair out of sight.  Quite a mystery.

[Sir T]

WHat you should do is be inspired by the crazy cat lady and oil yourself down with suntan lotion, then you wont feel the water pressure. Problem solved!