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Author Topic: Chris Roberts Back in your wallet - STAR CITIZEN  (Read 556816 times)
Mandella
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Reply #3990 on: November 26, 2020, 05:18:18 PM

I actually had to check the timestamps on Samprimary's posts. It's not that those bugs are existing in Alpha, it's that those are the very same bugs I read about years ago. Years.

How is there anybody even playing in the Alpha now? For the comedy?
01101010
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You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #3991 on: November 26, 2020, 06:23:56 PM

I actually had to check the timestamps on Samprimary's posts. It's not that those bugs are existing in Alpha, it's that those are the very same bugs I read about years ago. Years.

How is there anybody even playing in the Alpha now? For the comedy?

Gambler's syndrome... they are probably trying to get any kind of return for the money invested.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
Threash
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Reply #3992 on: November 26, 2020, 08:09:00 PM

Does this game have any redeeming features at all?
Uh, 114 pages of hilarity and counting not enough for you?

The thread has been fantastic yes.  I ask because a part of me just says "this game can't be that bad, right?"

The game can't be that bad when there's no game. *tapping on forehead meme*

I am the .00000001428%
Khaldun
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Reply #3993 on: November 26, 2020, 09:30:50 PM

You can see it already--the draw is in seeing if you can play a single mission correctly--it's a kind of metagame.
slog
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Reply #3994 on: November 27, 2020, 07:39:22 AM

I spent about 20 minutes watching a few more streams.  Crippling bugs on every stream and the streamers didn't seem to be bothered in the least that the game is unplayable.

If you're explaining, you're losing.
Khaldun
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Reply #3995 on: November 27, 2020, 09:11:29 AM

The Heaven's Gate cult weren't really bothered that the comet wasn't actually coming to beam them up. Once you're all in as a believer, you're all in.
Sky
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Reply #3996 on: November 27, 2020, 12:52:04 PM

You can see it already--the draw is in seeing if you can play a single mission correctly--it's a kind of metagame.

ULTIMATE SOULZ

Samprimary
Contributor
Posts: 4167


Reply #3997 on: November 28, 2020, 06:30:40 AM

I have completed a one (1) mission in the highly anticipated new game, "Star Citizen"

I must now die, as my inventory is permanently bugged and i cannot remove my helmet to provide myself with water and nutrition and i have to run around until i die of dehydration
Samprimary
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Reply #3998 on: November 28, 2020, 09:54:48 AM

Cyrrex
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Reply #3999 on: November 28, 2020, 10:08:29 AM


Is that a video of you completing your mission?  Thx for the epilectic attack.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Samprimary
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Reply #4000 on: November 28, 2020, 10:18:20 AM


Is that a video of you completing your mission?  Thx for the epilectic attack.

in that video

and i swear to god every part of this is true without any embellishment

i had earlier in the day purchased a burrito from an expo stand and tried to eat it. then i dropped it, then picked it up and warped it to my personal inventory.

purchasing this dropped burrito completely bugged out my inventory, which means i was unable to do so much as remove my helmet, which is necessary to eat or drink. killing myself did nothing to alleviate that situation.

respawning put me back in the same state of almost dehydration. i had to die a real death. i tried to get to space to do that, but the elevators on the planet i was on which are necessary to reach the spaceport were all broken, trapping all of us on the planet. i would not survive having another player pick us all up from the planet surface and teleporting us manually off the planet to another working spaceport.

so i was wandering around trying to die of dehydration so i could un-get the broken burrito out of my now broken inventory.

i was pretty low, down to like four percent hydration. to pass the time while i waited to terminally dessicate, i was looking through the 890 jump luxury superyacht interior at the expo.

i walked into one of the ship's two saunas and clipped through the wooden bench, leaving me stuck in this terminal ragdolling.

it turns out that while your character is ragdolling, you are no longer dying of dehydration. side benefit

so now i'm

ok let's go through my notes here and make sure i have this right

mhm ok, ok, yes this all checks out

i am spinning so hard through a sauna seat, that i can't die of dehydration, to despawn a floor burrito that broke my inventory, that left my helmet stuck on, that leaves me unable to escape a spaceport that broke because its elevators don't open
Cyrrex
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Reply #4001 on: November 28, 2020, 10:34:36 AM

i am spinning so hard through a sauna seat, that i can't die of dehydration, to despawn a floor burrito that broke my inventory, that left my helmet stuck on, that leaves me unable to escape a spaceport that broke because its elevators don't open

Wow, their quest writers sure are creative.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
HaemishM
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Reply #4002 on: November 28, 2020, 11:52:19 AM

sam, the absolute tear-inducing hilarity of all your posts on this game ALMOST makes up for your abandonment of your true life's quest, to watch Cuck for us and report on it.

Learning that you have to not only eat and drink, but actively remove one's helmet to accomplish that task on the regular is just precious. What kind of socially stunted autist wants that in a game?

rattran
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Unreasonable


Reply #4003 on: November 28, 2020, 01:22:41 PM

The kind of people who demanded MOAR REALITY in WWIIOnline?
IainC
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Reply #4004 on: November 28, 2020, 01:25:30 PM


I like that someone commented on your video to tell you where to find beautiful girls online. Because having your identity stolen by a fake dating site full of bots is still probably more personally rewarding than trying to play Star Citizen.

- And in stranger Iains, even Death may die -

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Samprimary
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Reply #4005 on: November 28, 2020, 01:47:35 PM

excellent, more emergent gameplay
Khaldun
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Reply #4006 on: November 28, 2020, 04:18:24 PM

Honestly, I laughed so hard reading this today. Thanks.
Abagadro
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Reply #4007 on: November 29, 2020, 02:07:57 AM

The SA thread(s) on star citizen, now on its 7th or 8th iteration (I think they are up to around 25 or 30 thousand pages combined if you count all the threads) is a continual source of amusement.  The "make Serek Dmart a mod" phase was particularly enjoyable but he has been banned for 2+ years now.  I turbo-browse it for the funny gifs of glitches and citizen nonsense.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

-H.L. Mencken
Samprimary
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Reply #4008 on: November 29, 2020, 01:03:14 PM

sam, the absolute tear-inducing hilarity of all your posts on this game ALMOST makes up for your abandonment of your true life's quest

you are the wind beneath my wings and for you all i threw together a shitty impromptu game cast

the challenge is "i must complete a SINGLE MISSION, or star citizen gets uninstalled"

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/819917456
Pennilenko
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Reply #4009 on: November 29, 2020, 01:51:04 PM

sam, the absolute tear-inducing hilarity of all your posts on this game ALMOST makes up for your abandonment of your true life's quest

you are the wind beneath my wings and for you all i threw together a shitty impromptu game cast

the challenge is "i must complete a SINGLE MISSION, or star citizen gets uninstalled"

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/819917456

My favorite part was when you said, "Not like this..."

"See?  All of you are unique.  And special.  Like fucking snowflakes."  -- Signe
slog
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Reply #4010 on: November 29, 2020, 08:59:14 PM

sam, the absolute tear-inducing hilarity of all your posts on this game ALMOST makes up for your abandonment of your true life's quest

you are the wind beneath my wings and for you all i threw together a shitty impromptu game cast

the challenge is "i must complete a SINGLE MISSION, or star citizen gets uninstalled"

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/819917456

Thank you for taking one for the team.  I was only able to watch the beginning, but is the automated system rejecting your ship retrieval a feature?

If you're explaining, you're losing.
Cyrrex
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Reply #4011 on: November 30, 2020, 12:35:23 AM

I see now how they suck you in, because that video was immensely enjoyable to watch.  That ending sequence had me shedding tears of happiness.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Khaldun
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Reply #4012 on: November 30, 2020, 03:25:58 PM

"Not like this!"

The interesting thing is just even if it fucking worked completely as intended, everything is bizarrely overengineered. I mean, ok, you're Space Uber and you have a contract to pick up a package and you have to go in a depot where you have to go through four doors just to get the package. The package is just a dinky thing, you could carry it in your tiny main cabin, you don't need a cargo bay, and what kind of space economy has someone going in a spaceship just to pick up a single small cube unless it contains the Most Valuable Thing Ever [tm] in which case who the fuck would leave it in an unguarded automated facility for any old courier. So in the name of realism they've built in systems that are full of incredible tedium while building a world simulator that's wildly unrealistic in every other way. The whole thing is not just feature creep--there's some deeper design stupidity here.
slog
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Reply #4013 on: November 30, 2020, 03:52:13 PM

I can see this kind of over-engineering happening when you outsource pieces of development to separate teams that don't integrate.  Each designs their separate system with little thought to how it will work overall.  Or, maybe this is just Chris Roberts taking the realism over the top because he's lost sight of how a game is supposed to be fun.

If you're explaining, you're losing.
Mandella
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Reply #4014 on: November 30, 2020, 04:09:40 PM

Thank you. I watched all 44 minutes 58 seconds of that "playthrough."

That game is broke, man.

Okay. I'm the minority here in that I'm fine with the "World as sim" concept. I would have hundreds of hours into that game -- if it worked at all. And no, Alpha is no excuse at this point -- it is no more playable now than years ago. When was the last patch that actually fixed any gameplay? Hell, when was the last patch?

To Khaldun's point, if this was an Alpha from any competent game studio I wouldn't have a problem with that. The station you picked up the package from would be staffed in the release version of the game. And cargo needs to be carried in the cargo section of your ship as per safety regulations and your contract.

The fact that your cargo lift can also double as a trash compactor is just extra usability...

I'm going to have to go play some Elite: Dangerous now just to clean my brain out.
Ashamanchill
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Reply #4015 on: November 30, 2020, 05:09:32 PM

this game has been in production for almost a decade

That is the only part about this that makes sense to me, as the graphics look about 2 generations behind. Taking your wise advice, I watched like 5 streams of this simultaneously while waiting for a pizza. 3 of them were shooting some sort of laser at the ground mining (I think?) the whole time with minimal interaction, one dude was bumming around a shitty and dull looking space station, and the last was towing something (?), I'm not sure though. No seriously, all memes aside, what the fuck is this game? People paid thousands of dollars for ships in this game? Chris Roberts must be the best con man ever in the history of con men.

A poster signed by Richard Garriot, Brad McQuaid, Marc Jacobs and SmerricK Dart.  Of course it would arrive a couple years late, missing letters and a picture but it would be epic none the less. -Tmon
Khaldun
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Reply #4016 on: November 30, 2020, 07:53:01 PM

But if it was an alpha by any designer with even a slight bit of common sense, you'd be thinking "gameplay" and "fun" as your concepts. So ok, you go to a dangerous planet and the place you pick up your cargo means you either have environmentally tolerant equipment or you have to run to the depot. But you don't make "go through three doors each of which has an interface" part of the gameplay once you get there unless your designer is a fucking stupid 18-year old who has been given the job to design the depot but all he knows is how to copy-paste the door design done by an earlier team. You get to the depot through dangerous environmental conditions, you grab the package automatically and it goes into your inventory, you run back and it autoloads into the ship and you're off.

If you decide "no, no, realism means a player either has to bring a cargo-loader for heavy stuff or he can only take what he can carry in person" and "realism means he has to personally load the cargo via direct 3d interactions in his avatar" and "no no realism means we have to assess the weight of the cargo, his avatar's physical endurance, and the environmental conditions", well--ok, think about it. -70 C conditions on an alien planet? Ok, first off, you ain't running nowhere even if you have a snug insulated and heated suit--that platform is icy. If there's any cargo worth talking about that isn't just a little dinky package, why wouldn't you have staff there to help load? The UPS or Amazon courier doesn't walk into a facility and have to locate every single fucking package on their route one by one. If this is realistic, you'd at least have bots or little alien slave races or minimum-wage workers or something getting cargo ready and putting it on a cargo-loader platform. You wouldn't be running and launching like crazy unless you worked for Uber literally and every second was money and again if that was so, you wouldn't have three fucking bulkhead doors in the depot.

Etc. I'm totally down for a realistic space economy sim but that's the point--if you are going to go total realism and do dumb shit like make toilets then you just took on a bunch of other dumb shit that is not satisfied by making five doorways with five interfaces on them.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2020, 01:06:16 PM by Khaldun »
Samprimary
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Reply #4017 on: December 01, 2020, 10:54:39 AM

The fact that your cargo lift can also double as a trash compactor is just extra usability...

to this day, i am ragdolling violently in that cargo bay of my flaming 300i, somewhere on the desolate wastes of microtech. life has done enough to me without you calling me trash
Mandella
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Reply #4018 on: December 01, 2020, 02:17:52 PM

The fact that your cargo lift can also double as a trash compactor is just extra usability...

to this day, i am ragdolling violently in that cargo bay of my flaming 300i, somewhere on the desolate wastes of microtech. life has done enough to me without you calling me trash

Heh.. Well, you were after you got compacted.

I have to ask a gameplay question here, heavens help me. Did you do anything to make the cargo area close? Or was that just "emergent gameplay."

And holy hell the fact that it can close with no way to open from the inside. Your spaceship was designed by pre-1970's refrigerator door engineers.
slog
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Reply #4019 on: December 01, 2020, 05:22:14 PM

The fact that your cargo lift can also double as a trash compactor is just extra usability...

to this day, i am ragdolling violently in that cargo bay of my flaming 300i, somewhere on the desolate wastes of microtech. life has done enough to me without you calling me trash

Heh.. Well, you were after you got compacted.

I have to ask a gameplay question here, heavens help me. Did you do anything to make the cargo area close? Or was that just "emergent gameplay."

And holy hell the fact that it can close with no way to open from the inside. Your spaceship was designed by pre-1970's refrigerator door engineers.

Think of all the children that got trapped in cargo holds and died.

If you're explaining, you're losing.
Falconeer
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Reply #4020 on: December 01, 2020, 06:50:57 PM

And then an indie game of this magnitude and scope exists and works much better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMg15LiQwEI

Samprimary
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Reply #4021 on: December 01, 2020, 07:01:05 PM

The fact that your cargo lift can also double as a trash compactor is just extra usability...

to this day, i am ragdolling violently in that cargo bay of my flaming 300i, somewhere on the desolate wastes of microtech. life has done enough to me without you calling me trash

Heh.. Well, you were after you got compacted.

I have to ask a gameplay question here, heavens help me. Did you do anything to make the cargo area close? Or was that just "emergent gameplay."

And holy hell the fact that it can close with no way to open from the inside. Your spaceship was designed by pre-1970's refrigerator door engineers.

Since I now have something along the lines of a Bachelors in Star Citizen Errors, I must elaborate on the issues as they presented themselves.

The cargo bay is smartly designed to avoid opening itself such as to clip into existing materials. It will deploy incompletely if it intercepts materials or terrain in its way, and you'll realize you have to move the cargo or repark your ship somewhere not stupid. This is actually somewhat impressive, as in any other game it would just deploy its opening animation and clip through hell and back as it desired.

When I placed the cargo, it clipped through the cargo bay and the game read it as being placed on the ground directly beneath the deployed cargo bay, to the cargo bay, even though the game seems to have understood it was placed correctly in the bay itself. So the cargo bay tried to retreat back up to resolve the clipping. It stopped at my head. Then when I crouched, it slid shut a little bit more, because it had room. Then when I lay down, it had enough room to slap all the way shut. With me in it, of course. The cargo came with, as this resolved the game's inability to fuck its way to understanding where schroedinger's cargo pod even was to begin with. There are ways to activate the cargo bay to open while still inside, but I couldn't get my adaptive interaction to trigger that option because I just couldn't find it. They've been titchy in some instances I've seen, like there and in the ladder entry ports for the Freelancers. And, as usual, in this infinite alpha, Titchy usually translates into "you die horribly." In this case, I clipped through a wall, merged into the rear cargo bay then got stuck infinitely ragdolling under the top polygonal layer, slamming repeatedly into the ship until it was destroyed while inexplicably invulnerable myself.
Samprimary
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Reply #4022 on: December 03, 2020, 04:54:28 PM

Khaldun
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Reply #4023 on: December 04, 2020, 04:13:58 PM

 Thumbs up!
Samprimary
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Reply #4024 on: December 06, 2020, 12:00:35 PM

somebody was like 'i like when you play star citizen and give updates, you should do that more' and i said 'sure, but i also don't like giving chris roberts money'
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