Chris Roberts Back in your wallet - STAR CITIZEN

[Sir T]

At a guess he doing a space themed night and dressed up as Solo.

[jakonovski]

It's gonna take just a little longer guys.

http://www.polygon.com/2016/5/30/11720714/what-to-expect-from-the-pc-gaming-show

CLOUD IMPERIUM GAMES

Last year, developer Chris Roberts promised to show up in person at the 2016 PC Gaming Show to talk about Star Citizen. However, Polygon has learned that Roberts will not be on hand. Cloud Imperium will not be participating in the PC Gaming Show despite agreeing several months ago to do so.

A representative for Cloud Imperium tells us that Roberts sent PC Gamer his regrets just a few weeks ago, saying that his schedule won't allow for a trip to Los Angeles. In fact, the studio is skipping E3 entirely.

Instead, the spokesperson tells us that Roberts will be devoting all his efforts to work on Squadron 42 at his studio in England. The rep added that the studio will have something to show at Gamescom in August.

[tmp]

The rep added that the studio will have something to show at Gamescom in August.

Cannot wait, will that be new virtual pants or new virtual virtual spaceships?

(though likely pants either way)

[Surlyboi]

Virtual pants for virtual spaceships.

[Sky]

Virtual pantships.


Real shitpants.

[Khaldun]

In five years time, there's going to be a new Kickstarter for an amazing game designed by Chris Roberts, Serek Dmart, Will Wright, Peter Molyneux and Curt Schilling. It's going to be a procedurally-generated MMO where a universe gets simulated down to the sub-atomic level and you get to shape how the interaction of fundamental forces eventually cools and coalesces into galaxies, solar systems and planets. You shape the evolution of life over billions of years but you can also affect the lives of individual organisms on quintillions of planets across the universe. You can custom-design technologies for intelligent life and you will be able to operate any technology a species designs, whether it's a food processor, a pair of alien pants, or a ray gun. Eventually you will be able to train evolved individuals to build space programs (there will be minigames!) and the race to dominate the universe will begin. There will be starmaps and hyperlanes. But you will also be able to take on the role of the chef on board a large battleship and make improved food for the captain. On some worlds there might be magic and ancient creatures from another dimension that live in dungeons, which you will be able to beam down and investigate.

[Malakili]

The real selling point: It all plays out in real time.

[Khaldun]

I think that team would be hard-pressed to implement all the features even in real time.

[Sky]

(there will be minigames!)

Unbeliever! There will be FULLY-FLESHED AAA GAMES for everything that would be a 'mini-game' in a pedestrian game release. If you train a citizen to be a soda jerk, they will launch into a fully-featured soda entrepreneurial sim. They could then become mayor, they like the sound of that.

[jakonovski]

Soda?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/347720/

[HaemishM]

What the actual fuck?

[Yegolev]

Soda?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/347720/

*scribbles in notepad*

[Soln]

I guess then there is a market for:

fetapaults builder
crotchpheasants: catch em all
poopsocking the undying: a zombie MMORPG

[Surlyboi]

No fetuspults. This is a space game.

Fetus Massdrivers.

[Rendakor]

Soda?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/347720/

With Soda Drinker Pro, you don’t need to have a soda in hand to experience a soda in your mind.

[Falconeer]

Apparently one person went to the Attorney General of Los Angeles and got $2500 back that Roberts did not intend to refund. Nice. Cloud Imperium still claims they paid them back because they felt like it, not because they had to.

https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2016/07/14/star-citizen-refund/

[Malakili]

we have determined that it is also in our interests to terminate his participation in our fundraising community. We are therefore agreeing to close complainant’s account permanently and we will issue a refund of his pledge promptly.”

"Fine, if you don't like my toys, then you can go home and play with your own toys. HUUMPH"

Apparently Cloud Imperium has the refund policies of a 7 year old.

[HaemishM]

Their design document was written by a 7-year old, so why not their refund policies? 

[K9]

[Pennilenko]

Holy shit. That's a lot of money on pixels. I wonder much delusion comes with a 38k price tag.

[Paelos]

Holy shit. That's a lot of money on pixels. I wonder much delusion comes with a 38k price tag.

Several oil drums full.

[HaemishM]

He wasn't a weak-spirited crybaby for wanting his money back. He was weak for not believing in Star Citizen HARD ENOUGH to spend more. His devotion to Sparklemotion was weak.

[Malakili]

Spending 35k on a video game gives you the right to shit on people on reddit? I hope no one tells this guy you can shit on people on reddit for free.

[Paelos]

Spending 35k on a video game gives you the right to shit on people on reddit? I hope no one tells this guy you can shit on people on reddit for free.

Heh, that was one of your more clever burns lately.

[K9]

Holy shit. That's a lot of money on pixels. I wonder much delusion comes with a 38k price tag.

Some weird progeny of the sunk cost fallacy and stockholm syndrome I think

[Khaldun]

Guys. If you don't all wish Tinkerbell alive again, she dies.

[jakonovski]

There's a new logo if it helps.

https://gfycat.com/DifferentHelplessBullfrog

edit: they also built a nice office for the players! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ2OuEzfAE4

[schild]

I never seen a company less deserving of a studio space at all, let alone one with nice furniture and custom bits and bobs.

[Paelos]

I'll be happy when this thread ends with an indictment.

[HaemishM]

These goddamn assholes built a fucking Star Trek door. You know that shit wasn't cheap.

EDIT: Jesus Christ. That video might as well have been Chris Roberts rubbing his sweaty balls in the face of every Kickstarter funder ever.

[Teleku]

Why the fuck are gaming companies so bad at wasting money?  Without fail, you keep seeing these sorts of videos, decade after decade.  Even the worst of the startups in Silicon Valley, trying to lure top talent man children with bouncy houses and blowjobs, don't waste money that flagrantly on such stupid shit (I'm sure somebody will counter me with some example of just that, but Jesus Christ).

Yet any game company that gets any amount of cash runs out the door to burn it as fast as they can.  It's really bad in this case because of how they got the money, but I guess we all expected this.

[Paelos]

Game developers don't understand business. Many of them never worked in a functioning business, they never wanted to, and that's why they became game developers so they wouldn't have to. The ones that got really successful did it by accident and then failed upwards because that seems to be how the gaming industry works.

Which means you get this kind of money burn.

[Merusk]

That's the best, most exact summation of the shit that is the Games Industry I've seen. Nice job.

Now do Marketing and how salespeople help fuck things up by helping each other out.

[Teleku]

But they are the primary source of bringing hot girls into the company, so we tend to give them a pass.  


Also, page 100 of Star Citizen thread. woooooo

[HaemishM]

One thing that pisses me off the most about that video (beside the obvious fucking waste) is how they spend gobs of money on shushing Star Trek doors, yet can't even be bothered to give their code monkeys fucking cube walls for any sort of personal space. Fuck you, open office plan philosophy. FUCK YOU SO HARD.