Help with early parenting advice.

[Zaljerem]

Since I never venture into Politics I always find the post-ban search for why very amusing.

I certainly find this place much more amusing since I've abandoned the Politics section.

I pop into Politics to lurk now and again. It's total  !

[croaker69]

I mean, not shooting sperm has no downside.

Unless you're trying to conceive and nature has decided it isn't in the cards for you ;-)

OK, no downside for me personally.

No, there is actually no downside as you say since we no longer even NEED sperm to conceive.  You need DNA, and that's it.  Lesbian couples have been flirting with this tech for a while now actually.
Hell, we dont even need wombs nowadays either.   Viable artificial ones (rather the ones we hear about) have been around for over 10 yrs.  Bush doctrine made them illegal past 2 weeks though.

Think of it.  Most highly evolved organisms procreate externally, they dont inject eachother with liquid (risky), carry around a 12lb sac for 9 months (riskier), and then manually "birth" it (riskier still).  The smarter/safer way is building a human selectively and then letting the machine carry it to term... whilst you continue to work, drink lattes, and have sex w/o worry.

The Bene Tleilax disagree.  Turning the human into the tank is obviously the way to go.

[Ironwood]

Man, you wish you were on my anger-radar.  We've mostly banned the real troublemakers.  Mostly.

They came at night, right ?

[ghost]

Since I never venture into Politics I always find the post-ban search for why very amusing.

I certainly find this place much more amusing since I've abandoned the Politics section.

I pop into Politics to lurk now and again. It's total  !

It's really not, unless you enjoy reading Morat's wall-of-text treatises on various, I mean all, subjects.   

[Yegolev]

Man, you wish you were on my anger-radar.  We've mostly banned the real troublemakers.  Mostly.

They came at night, right ?

Next time I'm in Glasgow, you're explaining your jokes to me.

[Merusk]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsx2vdn7gpY

You can turn your card in at the door.

[Ironwood]

Yeah, I seriously thought that's what you were angling for with that line.

South Park did an episode once that did that a lot.  It made me chuckle.

[DraconianOne]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Owners-Manual-Instructions-Trouble-shooting/dp/1931686238/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327752337&sr=8-1

I have (had?) a copy of this. I wish I'd read it earlier as it's far more useful than I suspected.

[Yegolev]

Yeah, I seriously thought that's what you were angling for with that line.

Yep, I'm a doofus IRL.  I have the Alien nine-disc box and no excuses.

[K9]

This, don't do this.

Edit by Trippy: for the love of...spoiler that next time

This is why the terrorists hate America

[JWIV]

I hate the fact I can recognize toddlers and tiaras (the wife does love herself a good train wreck)

[DraconianOne]

 

[apocrypha]

The sheer  of that picture actually summoned me to this thread. I've not read it since page 1.

Seriously, WTF have we done to the world to produce that? I.. I... I just... oh god, we're doomed as a species aren't we?

[Merusk]

Exactly as doomed as we were when people said the same thing ~3,000 years ago in China.   

[Paelos]

That's my state folks! YEEEEAH!

That woman's chins have chins. It's like Gabriel Iglesias put on makeup and a wig.

[K9]

The danger of mainlining burgers.

The sheer  of that picture actually summoned me to this thread. I've not read it since page 1.

Seriously, WTF have we done to the world to produce that? I.. I... I just... oh god, we're doomed as a species aren't we?

Did you watch the video? It gets worse.

[apocrypha]

Did you watch the video? It gets worse.

I'm not brave enough. 

[K9]

There's no shame in not wanting to stare at a trainwreck

[Salamok]

I am oddly conflicted, on the one hand I find the entire toddlers and tiaras concept completely revolting and yet on the other hand my 6 year old's princess makeover at the bippity boppity boutique was the high lite of our Disney World trip.  Maybe the saving grace here is that it wasn't a competition?

[Der Helm]

Maybe the saving grace here is that it wasn't a competition?

I am sure the saving grace here is that your daughter did not look like a harlot 5 seconds away from being butchered by Jack the Ripper in a dark alley ?

[K9]

I am oddly conflicted, on the one hand I find the entire toddlers and tiaras concept completely revolting and yet on the other hand my 6 year old's princess makeover at the bippity boppity boutique was the high lite of our Disney World trip.  Maybe the saving grace here is that it wasn't a competition?

Did you force feed her a cocktail of Red Bull and Mountain Dew and then make her parade up and down in front of a panel of judges?

[Der Helm]

SPECIAL JUICE!

[Salamok]

I am sure the saving grace here is that your daughter did not look like a harlot 5 seconds away from being butchered by Jack the Ripper in a dark alley ?

I am ashamed to admit there were abundant quantities of glitter and lip gloss (and a tiara).

Did you force feed her a cocktail of Red Bull and Mountain Dew and then make her parade up and down in front of a panel of judges?

It's WDW the sugar level was on insane and she did get paraded through the store in a fur cape.  She was also chosen to undergo her princess transformation in the super pimped out store front window display area.

[K9]

Well, just so long as you don't make a habit of it. Also not berating the kid for not being good enough when they don't act up enough.

Also, say no to pageant crack kids.

[Yegolev]

[apocrypha]

I watched it. I'm with Yegolev.

[Sjofn]

I am oddly conflicted, on the one hand I find the entire toddlers and tiaras concept completely revolting and yet on the other hand my 6 year old's princess makeover at the bippity boppity boutique was the high lite of our Disney World trip.  Maybe the saving grace here is that it wasn't a competition?

I assume she wanted to do this? And it's probably just a one-off thing? I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Der Helm]

I watched it. I'm with Yegolev.

We gonna need a bigger fire...

[tgr]

I watched it. I'm with Yegolev.

We gonna need a bigger fire...

[apocrypha]

[Lantyssa]

There's nothing wrong with a little girl wanting to be a princess and desiring attention.

There's a lot wrong with pageants.

[Paelos]

Yeah, most little girls goe through the princess stage where they dress in random accessories that don't go together. Tiara, feather boa, tutu and flip flops to go to the grocery store? You bet!

Pageants are just...if there isn't already a problem with the pageants, anybody who judges or attends one should be put on a federal watch list.

[Yegolev]

There's nothing wrong with a little girl wanting to be a princess and desiring attention.

[Lantyssa]

Warrior Princess is a personal favorite.

[Der Helm]

Who'd have thought that.