Adventures in baby stalking.

[luckton]

You know, I'm used to seeing this kinda of shit happen to other people on TV/movies, or reading about them in fiction.  I never thought it'd occur to me, but as Will Smith would say, "This shit just got real."

So we have this daughter of my parent's neighbors.  We'll call her Kei.  She's 17, I believe.  I've know this girl for a long time, but had no interest in associating with her.  Her parents are kinda silly (for example, her father, who collects disability but works a job delivering the paper, has been known to sit in his recliner by the front window and 'keep an eye' on our comings and goings), and she herself has maturity issues.  I didn't really pay much attention to it all, except in the last year we noticed that she had a baby with her a lot.  It wasn't hers, rather it was her BFF's.  The story we were told was that the BFF was 'busy' and couldn't take care of the baby all the time, so she did instead.  It kinda got to the point where she had the baby so much that it was kind of a running joke that she should just adopt the damned kid since the BFF doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with the child.

Anyways, Kei offers to take care of my 14 month old the other night while the Mrs. and I go to a Christmas thing.  We didn't harbor any ill feelings to this girl, and since she seemed to take good care of the BFF's girl, we figure she's earned the chance to watch my boy.

She came over, we went to the Christmas thing, came home, paid her and off she went.  No fuss, no muss.

The next day, my wife gets a FB PM from Kei's BFF, who warns us that we need to stay away from Kei, as she's not right in the head.  The BFF then sends us screen-caps from Baby-Center.com, where Kei has been a busy little forum bee, posting up and down the site about how she has 3 kids, whom she loves and adores.  The wife and I did some digging around on Baby-Center ourselves since then.  The pictures that Kei uploaded of these kids are surreal.  We can't ID two of them, but the third is the BFF's kid.  Kei's apparently swindled her way to something prominent on Baby-Center, having won a couple contests on the site, including having the cutest kids.  The problem is that none of these kids are hers.  All the stories she's posted are completely fabricated, and the advice she gives to forum posters makes her seem like a woman of a middle/elder age.

The BFF says her mom talked to Kei's mom, and around the same time that happened, Kei's Baby-Center account was shut down.  Still, all of her posts and shit are still there to be read.  The Mrs. is now sufficiently "freaked out" to the point where she wants nothing more to do with Kei, out of fear that's she'd do something batshit crazy with our son.  I was already done with having any kind of interaction with Kei or her family...prior to this, I just saw giving her the baby-sitting job as doing her a solid.

So I'm kinda at a loss of where to go from here.  My brain and heart can't come to a consensus on whether I should report this shit to the authorities and get her some medical/mental health, or just leave the situation well enough alone.  I fear that while our own situation may be safe for now, I'm kinda feeling that she's gonna keep doing this shit, like it's a outlet for her or something.  The wife and I agree that she could so totally be one of those kinds of "moms" that would intentionally injure/sicken their own kid just to have the excuse to nurture/care for them.

Any advice, oh great minds of f13?

[Merusk]

Call the authorities, report to child services.  Then buy a gun because crazy teen and crazy dad are going to kill the fuck out of you.

[Viin]

Crazy. If you think your kid or other kids are in danger (now or near future), I think you need to call SS.

[Kail]

From the POV of a non-parent, doesn't strike me as THAT big of a deal.  Kid's a little weird, likes attention, lies about who she is on the internet, seems kint of quirky but not "alert the police" danger level.  If she's doing something illegal, or endangering the kid in some way, then obviously it's time to bolt the doors, but just posting pictures online doesn't seem to be near "dangerously insane" levels to me.

[Ingmar]

Why is your wife Facebook friends with your HS age neighbor's best friend? 

Creepy dude in the window scares me more honestly.

[Miasma]

Then why does the BFF let her take care of her kid?  I don't know what you'd actually report, crazy isn't illegal.  I imagine child services is busy with radically worse cases than a kid making stuff up on the internet.

[Hawkbit]

The wife and I agree that she could so totally be one of those kinds of "moms" that would intentionally injure/sicken their own kid just to have the excuse to nurture/care for them.

This statement puts you into near-Nerf territory.  Captain Ahab and his lawn...

Anyways, I'm with Merusk.  I'd feel better reporting this and having everyone get their panties in a bunch over the weirdness now, than having her intentionally back a car full of kids into a pond next week.  You'd always regret not reporting it if the latter happened.

Though Miasma has a good point; if she's so crazy, why does the BFF let her handle her kid?  Maybe the BFF is the one with issues.

[angry.bob]

Bang the shit out of her, crazy chicks are usually fun in bed.

Seriously man, what the fuck do you think you should do? Here's the relevant part:

daughter of my parent's neighbors

Not your neighbor, no reason to interact with them, no reason to get them involved in your life. When you run into crazy, just walk the fuck around it as quickly and quietly as possible. Reporting them gets you involved with them and vice versa. Also, other than being a teenage attention whore she hasn't done anything wrong or illegal. Oh no, she's posing as someone she's not on an internet message board!

In all honesty she's probably harmless and is using the "alternate identity" to deal with some unpleasant feeling like lack of intimacy with another person/family, unpleasant home life, etc. 17 is a shitty age for most people, and it's even worse for people with genuinely unstable homes/families. Also, as often as it sounds like she's watched the BFF's kid I'd be more worried if she hadn't developed a strong sense of attachement.

[squirrel]

Yeah report her for what? Crazy, insecure and neurotic isn't illegal, and I don't think misrepresentation on a message board is going to get the authorities in motion. Why does the BFF allow her kid to be there if she thinks the chick has issues? Sounds like she consented.

Just gtfo and don't have anything to do with them.

[rattran]

Have Sand come over and hit on her, then send Nerf over to kill her lawn.

Or, don't let her babysit your kid and move on with life.

[lamaros]

Teenage people can do strange things without them being entirely unstable.

Just don't have anything to do with her if you find it a problem.

[Cyrrex]

Guys, guys!  Let's see where the thread goes before we start offering too much helpful advice.  This could be entertaining for at least 6 more pages.

[sinij]

From the POV of a non-parent, doesn't strike me as THAT big of a deal. 

Same.  So she enjoys kids and plays pretend games on internet. This is big deal why?

[sinij]

This statement puts you into near-Nerf territory.  

I was thinking more along the lines of   parent.

luckton do you own baby monitor, baby GPS tracker AND video home security with remote "check in" feed?

[TheWalrus]

luckton do you own baby monitor, baby GPS tracker AND video home security with remote "check in" feed?

You, posting this, is hilarious.

[Nerf]

luckton do you own baby monitor, baby GPS tracker AND video home security with remote "check in" feed?

You, posting this, is hilarious.

I think he's on to something.

First, get a handful of wireless IP cameras, then invite the crazy chick to babysit again and post the camera addresses here on F13.  Learn from my mistakes - get cameras with audio!

I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

[stu]

"Women are psychotic." - Vonnegut

[DraconianOne]

My brain and heart can't come to a consensus on whether I should report this shit to the authorities and get her some medical/mental health, or just leave the situation well enough alone. 

Sounds like you've at least put the welfare of your son first if your (or at least your wife) wants nothing to do with them. I reckon whether you report them or not depends on how much you feel she's a danger to other peoples children and how much you want to get involved.

[luckton]

I appreciate the feedback so far.  The Mrs. and I are probably going to talk to my parents about it and see what they think.  If the BFF's mom's already talked to Kei's mom about it and had success with shutting down the Baby-Center account, that may be all there is to it.  Still, like I said, Kei's parents aren't exactly the most 'functional' of parental figures, and I can assume that dysfunctional parents bringing up a dysfunctional kid will just compound the dysfunctionality even further.

[DraconianOne]

I've been thinking about this some more and while my initial thoughts of "what would I do in luckton's situation" was to not get involved, I've now reached the "how would I feel if something awful happened to someone elses child because I didn't say anything?"

With that in mind, is there any type of confidential service you could raise your concerns with? Bearing in mind that you may not know the full story and that her actions could be as a result of problems at home, jealousy at her friends babies or something other than being a psycho (depression can make people do strange, dysfunctional shit) and rather than calling in someone who would be heavy handed about it (ie not the police), who would you talk to who might deal with the situation sensitively and properly?

Basically - how do you turn this into Somebody Elses Problem?

[Der Helm]

Post pictures.

[Lantyssa]

Basically - how do you turn this into Somebody Elses Problem?

Notifying CPS.

Though it's an odd situation.  I'm not sure what the extent of their authority is.  Though a tip and and detailed an explanation as possible should enable them to decide if they can/need to pursue it or not.

[Ironwood]

I'm entirely unsure why anyone should give the remotest fuck what this lassie has posted on a random internet board.

I fail to see anything she's done being a major concern, particularly a concern of yours (or ours) and I really, really don't understand why you care.

I suspect that you feel overly guilty that you actually put your kid in the care of someone who's maybe not the  full shilling and are overreacting because of it.

Non-Issue seems Non.

[Merusk]

I'm entirely unsure why anyone should give the remotest fuck what this lassie has posted on a random internet board.

I fail to see anything she's done being a major concern, particularly a concern of yours (or ours) and I really, really don't understand why you care.

I suspect that you feel overly guilty that you actually put your kid in the care of someone who's maybe not the  full shilling and are overreacting because of it.

Non-Issue seems Non.

I may have misread, but my initial understanding was that psycho-girl was using pics and anecdotes of other people's kids and pretending they were hers.  I can only assume she would do the same w/ Luckton's should contact have remained.  Hell, who's to say she didn't already do so?  Sure this one account was shut-down but is there another? Easily done with free email addresses.

As for who cares; are you saying you'd be ok with random_teenager or one of us using the pics of Elena and posting them wherever claiming she was theirs?  Because I wouldn't with mine anymore than I'd be ok with it happening to you.

[luckton]

Truly this is an issue I think that would have different opinions from people that's dependent upon if the person has a child or not.  Non-family/child people will probably be indifferent, while the other would be empathetic.

I may have misread, but my initial understanding was that psycho-girl was using pics and anecdotes of other people's kids and pretending they were hers.  I can only assume she would do the same w/ Luckton's should contact have remained.  Hell, who's to say she didn't already do so?  Sure this one account was shut-down but is there another? Easily done with free email addresses.

I've considered this, and have been doing some searching based on her real name and internet handle, but nothing as of yet.  It is one of our main fears though.

[IainC]

I'm with Ironwood, I don't see the harm in pretending to be someone else to a bunch of strangers on the internet. Yes she's using pictures of other people's kids, not seeing a huge issue with that unless the photos are providing information that shouldn't be shared with strangers. To anyone who isn't you, your baby looks about the same as every other baby on the internet.

It sounds like she has some self-esteem issues and by pretending to be a parent (an authority figure) with responsibility, she is trying to make up for her insecurities.

Would I let her look after my kids? Nope, she has demonstrated poor judgement and, at the very least, her behaviour is not something that should be encouraged or enabled. Unless she's somehow profiting from this or causing harm to the children however I don't see it's worth getting stoked over.

[Draegan]

I don't have any kids, but if I did my only issue would be of her taking pictures of my kids and posting them on the internet.  That's the only thing that stands out as fucked up.  If she wanted to go on the internet and write about it and pretend thats fine, and creepy, but whatever.

I wouldn't want the girl taking care of my kids again in any case for sure.  It's ok to pretend to be a mom or whatever at that age but I think this might be taking it to a whole level of crazy.

[Lantyssa]

I may have misread, but my initial understanding was that psycho-girl was using pics and anecdotes of other people's kids and pretending they were hers.  I can only assume she would do the same w/ Luckton's should contact have remained.  Hell, who's to say she didn't already do so?  Sure this one account was shut-down but is there another? Easily done with free email addresses.

Why do you think I wanted Ironwood to post so many pictures of his my daughter?  She's lovely, isn't she?

[Ironwood]

I'm entirely unsure why anyone should give the remotest fuck what this lassie has posted on a random internet board.

I fail to see anything she's done being a major concern, particularly a concern of yours (or ours) and I really, really don't understand why you care.

I suspect that you feel overly guilty that you actually put your kid in the care of someone who's maybe not the  full shilling and are overreacting because of it.

Non-Issue seems Non.

I may have misread, but my initial understanding was that psycho-girl was using pics and anecdotes of other people's kids and pretending they were hers.  I can only assume she would do the same w/ Luckton's should contact have remained.  Hell, who's to say she didn't already do so?  Sure this one account was shut-down but is there another? Easily done with free email addresses.

As for who cares; are you saying you'd be ok with random_teenager or one of us using the pics of Elena and posting them wherever claiming she was theirs?  Because I wouldn't with mine anymore than I'd be ok with it happening to you.

If her account had already been found out and shut down, yeah, I pretty much wouldn't give a flying fuck.  This is all much fuss over nothing as many, many people who should leave it stick their fucking noses in.  Hell, pics of Elena could be grabbed from this very site and be adorning a hate shrine somewhere.  So fucking what ?

Very strange.

Edited to add :  Yeah, Lantyssa made me point for me once I'd read further down.  YOU fuckers could be doing this.  I don't give a toss.

[Furiously]

I think most of it is probably you agonizing over, in hindsight, what you think might have been a questionable decision.

I probably wouldn't call the authorities, but they wouldn't be watching my child again either.

[Engels]

At first I thought it read 'Adventures in baby shaking'.

[sinij]

I've considered this, and have been doing some searching based on her real name and internet handle, but nothing as of yet.

I hear she posts under Sinij alias, and you better move to a different country, because you could never be too safe now, couldn't you? Just think of the children!

[sinij]

At first I thought it read 'Adventures in baby shaking'.

 

[murdoc]

Don't let her babysit your kid. The end.

Nothing else needs to be or should be done. You know she has issues, but she's NOT your concern, your own kid is.

[Sand]

Don't let her babysit your kid. The end.

Nothing else needs to be or should be done. You know she has issues, but she's NOT your concern, your own kid is.

^ This.

Otherwise good luck contacting the police or child protective services. They will do nothing but laugh at you for wasting their time.