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Topic: Mass Effect (Read 9487 times)
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Tarami
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1980
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Not that this is a bold prediction regarding a video game movie, but development hell or flop ahoy. These things get into development because they're "huge properties" and then someone behind the scenes looks up the numbers and realizes that Halo 2 only sold like 8 million units worldwide, compared to the 10 or 12 million tickets the movie would be expected to sell, in one weekend, in the United States alone. Then they mysteriously end up in development hell.
As I said, call it "Fifth Element 2" and hand it over to the same people. Who is going to notice? I mean, the Diva was practically an Asari Matriach, Bruce Willis was a retired Sheppard, and replace Ruby Rod with Wrex and you're good. :) The Sixth Element, Bruce Willis was a Quarian all along! |
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« Last Edit: July 08, 2011, 10:25:42 PM by Tarami »
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- I'm giving you this one for free.
- Nothing's free in the waterworld.
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TheWalrus
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4321
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They'll make the same major mistake almost all video game movies make. They'll take elements from the game and "improve" on the story and screw up characterizations. Tali will be a robot. Garrus will be an evil assassin. Wrex will be pure comic relief. Ashley will be a damsel in distress who Shepard briefly meets. He'll go rogue and steal the Normandy with the help of his sidekick Joker played by Rob Schneider. Along for the ride will be Liara, a green alien hooker with mysterious powers and knowledge that could save the galaxy...
I'd watch it. |
vanilla folders - MediumHigh
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Megrim
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2512
Whenever an opponent discards a card, Megrim deals 2 damage to that player.
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They'll make the same major mistake almost all video game movies make. They'll take elements from the game and "improve" on the story and screw up characterizations. Tali will be a robot. Garrus will be an evil assassin. Wrex will be pure comic relief. Ashley will be a damsel in distress who Shepard briefly meets. He'll go rogue and steal the Normandy with the help of his sidekick Joker played by Rob Schneider. Along for the ride will be Liara, a green alien hooker with mysterious powers and knowledge that could save the galaxy...
I'd watch it. That... sounds... a lot better... than the plot in Mass Effect. |
One must bow to offer aid to a fallen man - The Tao of Shinsei.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Yeah, I mean, I had to feel for the council in ME2 when Shepherd was ranting about the Reapers coming
"Uh so only you have talked to this reaper thing?"
"Yeah, but believe me casue I'M SHEPHERD AND TOTALLY NOT CRAZY!!!"
"Right...."
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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I see it now....
Uwe Boll presents, "Mass Effect: Tales of the Mako"
A riveting tale of a crew staring Kristanna Loken as Shepard, Ray Liotta as the psi warrior Kaidan Alenko, Matthew Lillard as Garrus Vakarian the Citadel Security Force (C-Sec) member and Drew Barrymore as Liara T'Soni the Asari.
It will revolve around them collecting minerals to get their never seen spaceship functional again, while battling various horrible CG bugs.
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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If there's one thing that's certain, it's that Legendary won't go anywhere near Dr Boll. He's already priced out of it.
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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