400 Pound Shoplifter Gets Stuck In Doorway

[LK]

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/02/15/cops-400-pound-shoplifter-busted-when-her-motorized-cart-got-st/

I don't even... what the...  

The best part is how aggressive she was when caught. It made me think of a whale that thought it knew kung fu.

Oh. Been done.

[ghost]

I'm really sad that there is no video.

[tgr]

Speeded up, with yakkity sax.

[ghost]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVS3QqrXhD8

It definitely does make everything funnier. 

[Segoris]

While purely fucked up, the stories that keep getting linked from that one just keep getting weirder and weirder. The next one is a dude steals meat, runs over a 4yr old, and when confronted by police at a nearby gas station, the criminal challenges the officer to fisticuffs....pure awesome. Which then leads to a horse-and-buggy Amish teenager chase and arrest or a Florida man trying to run away in a lawn mower that tops out at 8mph. It's like choose your own adventure....smoking gun style.

[Baldrake]

The part that has me baffled most of all is that the cops used a taser to pacify her.

Really??

The cops needed a taser to deal with an unarmed 400 lb woman who can't walk??

[Paelos]

I guess making a run for it was out of the question. Americans are now too lazy to properly steal, we have to use a Rascal.

This was my favorite part:

Police arrived on the scene, and a sheriff's deputy ordered Perkins to put her hands behind her back. But the suspect allegedly refused and instead "cursed at the deputy, balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance,"

Several parts of this are hilarious. First, I want to know exactly what insults she hurled at the cops. Please tell me she called them "fucking pigs" for the unintentional awesome. Two, how does one assume a fighting stance when you can't stand? It's part of the word right there. I mean I can sit in my office chair and shake my fist at someone standing in the doorway, but at best that just makes me a dick. Third, you just knew when the cops claimed she was going for a fighting stance that she was getting tazed. I saw those words and thought to myself, "Oh please let them have tazed this whaOH YEAH!"

[01101010]

I'd venture to think she could stand when she had to and was probably outta the seat when the doors jammed her in between them. Motorized carts aren't just for paraplegics. When I worked LP for a PI agency in California, I worked grocery primarily - plain clothes watchers. First time I saw some woman stuffing a shit load of baby formula in her kid's stroller, I had to take a double take and get my partner on it. People use all sorts of shit to get away with anything. Worst offenders, and this probably still holds true, are elderly - who would suspect grandma stealing OTC meds? Oh yeah, those were cake walk busts. This woman, or any human 400+ lbs. No thanks. Take the shrink hit and put her pic up in the LP office and bar her at the gates.


Of course, the cop tasering would the icing on the proverbial cake though.

[NiX]

The part that has me baffled most of all is that the cops used a taser to pacify her.

Really??

The cops needed a taser to deal with an unarmed 400 lb woman who can't walk??

Odds are she didn't budge from the scooter and if she did, I'm going to say they took bets on the collateral damage from the fall.

[Paelos]

I do always like seeing how the stores are providing Rascals for the ludicrously fat. I have the feeling they were for the elderly, just like those commericials you see on daytime TV with grandma rolling around her house to hug her grandkids. When's the last time you saw someone older using a Rascal? It's usually a fat chick.

[LK]

I'm always amazed that someone could eat themselves beyond 300 pounds and not think that maybe they should do something about that.

[Merusk]

250# is what always got me at that point you begin noticing all built objects say it won't support your weight.   For instance, my ladders all say "max load 250#"  It's what got me to drop almost 15# over the last year and I was only 245 at my heaviest.

[Vaiti]

I want to gain weight and never can. I always wonder how people find enough time in the day to eat enough to get that big. Do their days just consist of going to the store, cooking and eating?

[Ingmar]

Cooking?

[Korachia]

The part that has me baffled most of all is that the cops used a taser to pacify her.

Really??

The cops needed a taser to deal with an unarmed 400 lb woman who can't walk??

I guess you could say she could blob them to death.

[01101010]

Cooking?

 

Classic...

Back on point, weight loss is enormously hard for some people and especially in this society with the now now now mentality. 6 weeks before you start seeing results is way too far to climb (or drive your scooter).

[Paelos]

Back on point, weight loss is enormously hard for some people and especially in this society with the now now now mentality. 6 weeks before you start seeing results is way too far to climb (or drive your scooter).

6 weeks? Hell in 6 weeks people on the Biggest Loser have lost 100 pounds or more. Extreme, but if you're fat you should see pounds coming off in the first week.

People are just lazy. I'll fully admit when I gain weight it's simply because I'm not getting off my ass and not cooking for myself.

[Selby]

I do always like seeing how the stores are providing Rascals for the ludicrously fat.

The ones at my store in high school were obviously for the elderly.  It had trouble going up the incline to the store when I had to return it (me being all of 150lbs), so I had to drive it with one hand and use the other hand to hold the seat interlock down.  I bet the thing would just die if a bigger person used it...

[Vaiti]

Or maybe it got that way somehow... 

[Sand]

I'm always amazed that someone could eat themselves beyond 300 pounds and not think that maybe they should do something about that.

Well I am shocked! Shocked I tell you! Yes, shocked and offended at how insensitive you are being!



No, not really. 

[Merusk]

I want to gain weight and never can. I always wonder how people find enough time in the day to eat enough to get that big. Do their days just consist of going to the store, cooking and eating?

Everyone's different but mine was a combination of thing over about 12-15 years.

1) After 25 beers and sodas being my primary drinks started putting weight on me.
2) I've had various desk jobs that required me to stay seated 8+ hours a day for the last 18 years, starting with Coops in college.  Even standing around for 10 mins instead of at a computer meant getting a talking-to at times.   
3) Lack of after-work activities.  The internet chatrooms, MUDs & computer gaming as hobbies meant even more time sitting around for hours at a stretch. 
4)  Did I mention the soda?  Until the last 2 1/2 years I'd average about 3 20oz sodas a day.  (Not just bottles, you have to figure in the super-sized cups at lunch.)
5)  Eating out with co-workers or friends in college was always fast-food.  During co-op quarters that was a daily occurrence.   Eating out once I got a full-time job was still fast food often, but also introduced other restaurants who had better food but bigger portions.  It's hard to break the "clean your plate" habit you were raised with. 
6) I've got a killer sweet tooth.  I'll almost always have gum, chocolate or hard candies around to satisfy it.  If I don't there's usually a candy dish somewhere in the office to filch "just a piece" from.

Looking back over all that I'm amazed I didn't put on more than the 65# I did from when I was only 7% body fat and swimming over 5 miles daily.   Give the above a shot and I'm sure you'll begin putting on the weight, too.  If it doesn't start working immediately, toss in 2-3 of the 'weight gain' powder shakes you can get from the fitness stores as well.

[LK]

BJ Brewhouse's Pazookies will do it right quick too.

[Paelos]

Yes, you can get fat over time. Hell you can get really fat over time.

There's still no excuse for being 400 pounds and trying to rob a store on a scooter.

[Vaiti]

I want to gain weight and never can. I always wonder how people find enough time in the day to eat enough to get that big. Do their days just consist of going to the store, cooking and eating?

Everyone's different but mine was a combination of thing over about 12-15 years.

1) After 25 beers and sodas being my primary drinks started putting weight on me.
2) I've had various desk jobs that required me to stay seated 8+ hours a day for the last 18 years, starting with Coops in college.  Even standing around for 10 mins instead of at a computer meant getting a talking-to at times.   
3) Lack of after-work activities.  The internet chatrooms, MUDs & computer gaming as hobbies meant even more time sitting around for hours at a stretch. 
4)  Did I mention the soda?  Until the last 2 1/2 years I'd average about 3 20oz sodas a day.  (Not just bottles, you have to figure in the super-sized cups at lunch.)
5)  Eating out with co-workers or friends in college was always fast-food.  During co-op quarters that was a daily occurrence.   Eating out once I got a full-time job was still fast food often, but also introduced other restaurants who had better food but bigger portions.  It's hard to break the "clean your plate" habit you were raised with. 
6) I've got a killer sweet tooth.  I'll almost always have gum, chocolate or hard candies around to satisfy it.  If I don't there's usually a candy dish somewhere in the office to filch "just a piece" from.

Looking back over all that I'm amazed I didn't put on more than the 65# I did from when I was only 7% body fat and swimming over 5 miles daily.   Give the above a shot and I'm sure you'll begin putting on the weight, too.  If it doesn't start working immediately, toss in 2-3 of the 'weight gain' powder shakes you can get from the fitness stores as well.

I eat chocolate and other various gummy candies on a daily basis. I also chew gum constantly, as I quit smoking and I need SOMETHING to keep my oral fixation in check, eating plastics pens is less than good for you. I drink 1.5l bottles of Coca-cola at a time. I will go through two or three bottles in a day if money allows it/the wife doesn't notice and stop me. I've never had a desk job, but I've had unemployment for months/years at a time where I basically went into a coma playing various MMO's I could get my hands on. During those times I had access to the 2l bottles in the States, and would drink 2 of those a day. Hooray for .99 2l bottles.

So I dunno. Metabolism? It boggle me. The things people say make you gain weight do NOTHING to me, and it's infuriating. And I already do protein shakes and whatnot. Have on and off for years. Most I ever gained was in sheer muscle mass while I was serving in Afghanistan.

[Furiously]

I blame post Afghan syndrome.

[tgr]

I need SOMETHING to keep my oral fixation in check

Too easy.

As to gaining weight, some people are just naturally lanky. I used to be lanky as all hell, but then I got a job and stopped biking everywhere and preferred to drive/take the bus, and I went up around 15-20kg. For some reason it just stopped there. vOv

[Yoru]

The part that has me baffled most of all is that the cops used a taser to pacify her.

Really??

The cops needed a taser to deal with an unarmed 400 lb woman who can't walk??

Perhaps they really like the smell of frying bacon?

[KallDrexx]

Back on point, weight loss is enormously hard for some people and especially in this society with the now now now mentality. 6 weeks before you start seeing results is way too far to climb (or drive your scooter).

6 weeks? Hell in 6 weeks people on the Biggest Loser have lost 100 pounds or more. Extreme, but if you're fat you should see pounds coming off in the first week.

People are just lazy. I'll fully admit when I gain weight it's simply because I'm not getting off my ass and not cooking for myself.

While a lot of times it has to do with lazyness, there are times when it is much more complicated.  My gf and I decided to do something about our weight gain, so we joined a gym and have gone every day for the last 26 days.  We eat almost the same, we grill or cook healthy recipes for dinners and have the leftovers for lunch, only have eaten out 3-4 times, and haven't had any alcohol.  If anything I end up cheating and eating more than her, but nothing crazy (jello for desserts, once and a while take a chocolate out of the bowl at work, etc..).

The first week we both lost 4-5lbs.  Now I'm losing again and down an average of 2lbs a week while she's up 6lbs somehow and over her starting weight.  Obviously, there is either some small thing that I am doing that she's not, or her body needs to do something different, but either way we aren't sure why.  Sometimes It's a lot more complicated than "people are lazy"

Though I am sure in regards to the woman in the article, it is because she's lazy, and stupid. 

[Bunk]

I eat chocolate and other various gummy candies on a daily basis. I also chew gum constantly, as I quit smoking and I need SOMETHING to keep my oral fixation in check, eating plastics pens is less than good for you. I drink 1.5l bottles of Coca-cola at a time. I will go through two or three bottles in a day if money allows it/the wife doesn't notice and stop me. I've never had a desk job, but I've had unemployment for months/years at a time where I basically went into a coma playing various MMO's I could get my hands on. During those times I had access to the 2l bottles in the States, and would drink 2 of those a day. Hooray for .99 2l bottles.

So I dunno. Metabolism? It boggle me. The things people say make you gain weight do NOTHING to me, and it's infuriating. And I already do protein shakes and whatnot. Have on and off for years. Most I ever gained was in sheer muscle mass while I was serving in Afghanistan.

How old ar you Vaiti?
At 17 I was drinking two to three litres of Coke a day and pretty much constantly snacked on junkfood. I weighed 129 lbs. From about 23 to 29 I weighed 139. At about 30 I got an IT job. By 35 I was up to 176 lbs (on a very thin frame). Now at 39, I have to watch what I eat to stay under 160. Metabolism makes a difference, but it changes as you age. Ultimately though, you have to settle on the fact that your frame will only hold so much mass properly distributed. You don't want to gain weight that is nothing but a gut and moobs.

[NiX]

Yeah, desk jobs with no extra time to step away from your desk once and awhile can really add pounds. For the longest time I would hover around 115-120 and now I'm trying to keep myself under 130. Mostly because I know it's not muscle, but plain old fat.

[Vaiti]

I'm 28 at the moment, what you're saying sounds about right. I've been going the gym fairly often nowdays, so my recent weight gains I haven't been attributing to my school/work/home time, all of which consist of long hours of sitting down. About two years ago prior to getting back into actually working out and doing something other than just the snacking and sitting about I was at (hooooolllly shiiiiiit, I just converted this and didn't realize I was that tiny) 127 pounds, which was the lowest I've ever been that I can recall. Before that, at the tender age of 18 I was 133 pounds before joining the military, maxed at 197 pounds around age 20, then dropped steadily after service. Nowdays I'm creeping back up at 163 pounds, but I still look like a skeleton and can't for the life of me put any bulk on, especially on my shoulders.

A friend and co-worker of mine has/had the skinny guy thing going forever as well, then suddenly at the age of 33 he developed a pot belly while remaining skinny.

[Mrbloodworth]

I'm 28 at the moment

Get ready.

[Cadaverine]

I'm 28 at the moment

Give it two years.  From 30, to 35 I went from 175#, and looking like a twig, to 275#, and not so twig-like.  A kid, a crappy diet, and little, or no, exercise will do it.  Don't even have to eat that much, really.

[01101010]

Weighed 140 in high school, got my weight up to 180 after college with some illicit help :), now I am back to 148ish @ 37yo. My mother has only now starting putting on weight @ 62 yo...so metabolism helps a lot...or hurts a lot. 

[LK]

I'm 29, I think my Metabolism has remained steady, just a shitty, shitty diet and exercise routine most of my life. When I was fully grown I considered 180 normal, but there was a point I said fuck it and ate whatever I wanted and rocketed up to 240. Then managed to work my way down to 210, 190, and finally sitting pretty in the 180-190 range but some of that is muscle I've managed to pack on. I look lean though I'm soft in places, and I'd like to do more to get rid of the softness, but I also know that my lifestyle (computers) isn't conducive to dropping weight. Hence why I've been going out more and mixing up my day with things like push-ups and running.

If I made it down to 175 I would be ecstatic. I'd probably be there or more if it weren't for the muscle I've put on.