schild, the man, the myth, the legend

[cosapi]

who is schild? what does he do and where is he from?

I remember my first days on f13, i saw schild and thought he was some internet badass who roamed the plains, raging about mmorpgs with haemish. Soon would be the times to come when my image of schild would be skewered. Was he jewish or a half-breed? I saw his pic and was stunned. He wasn't such the internet badass I had hoped and dreamed for. Possibly a closet holding an etna figurine he scavenged off the table scraps of a NIS booth?

For shame I thought. The man who I had once highly regarded as having quality taste , for years he complained about more diku and non-diku mmorpgs than calories comsumed by lum daily, had in fact not the greatest taste as I had once presumed. Forsooth I say, for the day came when one Eric Schild became a texan! the hail had ruined his car, where is this man at now? He was a weeaboo, so it wouldn't be long before he returned to the den of glorious nippon 

Shocked as I may be, the current evolution of schild had gone from a neackbeard to a  then a texan and finally he had become a hipster with praises for such games as ICO, SotC, SMT and Atlus before they were cool and especially Heavy Rain. Does he speak of Heavy Rain these days? Surely not. Where has schild disappeared to? Does anyone of the f13 forums suffer from the rare condition known as, the micropenis? It's no longer cool to be around here because there are no more hipster video games being released? Schild has gone missing and there is a void in my life at the constant knowledge of the missing schild. 

[Vaiti]

Didn't read the actual post, but from the title
 

[IainC]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[01101010]

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert...

[raydeen]

Wow. And I thought my drunken ramblings were bad. I'm not even going to try to compete for that high score.

[Samprimary]

How unintentionally toothless this whatever this is is

[Rendakor]

Has anyone ever been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Lantyssa]

Greatest spambot ever?

It's like a DLRiley post with more relevant words and even less sense.

[Goreschach]

Has anyone ever been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Yes.

[WindupAtheist]

How unintentionally toothless this whatever this is is

Seriously, I was flaming Schild harder than this five years ago.

[schild]

wat

[Vaiti]

You're missing or something. Someone should find you.

[Pennilenko]

wat

I think you got yourself one of those love to hate you stalkers.

[rattran]

DLRiley and Grunk had a love child, obviously.

[NiX]

Given that he mentioned SoTC, ICO and SMT... this guy took years to finish this post.

[Samprimary]

"Mewling and adorable, in the style of jack thompson's picture-book ranting which substitutes smileys for clip art from google images. Leaves the audience wanting more, so that at the very least it could be determined what the intent was, like if you were trying to figure out if a kitty was really actually angry at you, or just tired and confused"

[sinij]

This is new and exciting - bots trained on forum-mined information and mimes. Very close to believable, I have had hard time picking out pre-fab parts out of the post.

[Morfiend]

 

[K9]

Is it self-aware?

[Ironwood]

This is new and exciting - bots trained on forum-mined information and mimes. Very close to believable, I have had hard time picking out pre-fab parts out of the post.

The first ones were made of rubber;  they were easy to spot.

[Lianka]

Wut wut?

[Minvaren]

Greatest spambot ever?

It's like a DLRiley post with more relevant words and even less sense.

Still, the smiley recognition technology is a marvel...  or something...  to behold.

[Musashi]

Fuck all of you.  This guy is the real deal.  He's clearly lurked for at least a year or so in preparation for this troll.  I demand a proper response to legitimize this turd.

[Trippy]

This thread deserves a wider audience  

Also quoted for posterity

who is schild? what does he do and where is he from?

I remember my first days on f13, i saw schild and thought he was some internet badass who roamed the plains, raging about mmorpgs with haemish. Soon would be the times to come when my image of schild would be skewered. Was he jewish or a half-breed? I saw his pic and was stunned. He wasn't such the internet badass I had hoped and dreamed for. Possibly a closet holding an etna figurine he scavenged off the table scraps of a NIS booth?

For shame I thought. The man who I had once highly regarded as having quality taste , for years he complained about more diku and non-diku mmorpgs than calories comsumed by lum daily, had in fact not the greatest taste as I had once presumed. Forsooth I say, for the day came when one Eric Schild became a texan! the hail had ruined his car, where is this man at now? He was a weeaboo, so it wouldn't be long before he returned to the den of glorious nippon 

Shocked as I may be, the current evolution of schild had gone from a neackbeard to a  then a texan and finally he had become a hipster with praises for such games as ICO, SotC, SMT and Atlus before they were cool and especially Heavy Rain. Does he speak of Heavy Rain these days? Surely not. Where has schild disappeared to? Does anyone of the f13 forums suffer from the rare condition known as, the micropenis? It's no longer cool to be around here because there are no more hipster video games being released? Schild has gone missing and there is a void in my life at the constant knowledge of the missing schild. 

[FatuousTwat]

[Soln]

Schild Starfucking?   what's next?

[Thrawn]

He plays EVE Online under the name "Jade Constantine".

[Nerf]

He plays EVE Online under the name "Jade Constantine".

That post was far too coherent and short to be written by WALL OF TEXT Constantine.

[Morat20]

Given that he mentioned SoTC, ICO and SMT... this guy took years to finish this post.

I don't recognize any of those acronyms. Unless SoTC is "Spirit of the Century". However, if it's a spambot, I'm heartened to know xkcd's firm belief that spambots will eventually evolve to making coherent, positive contributions to conversations -- and then become non-objectionable -- is on track.

That's considerably better than the average. Still fails the Turing test, though.

[Rendakor]

ICO is just Ico, I think. SotC is Shadow of the Colossus, and SMT is Shin Megami Tensei.

[schild]

SOTC is Shadow of the Colossus.

Anyway, here's the whole story:
Started playing Magic again (seriously) and have been going to tournaments almost every weekend.
2011 has been one of the worst years for games that actually make me turn around and go "OK, I'll disappear from real life for a week."

Catherine, Demon's Souls 2 (haha), and other games are coming out next year that'll get me more excited about stuff. Fallout New Vegas is fun but it's almost not worth talking about (what's there to say, really?). MMORPGs are universally bad and that's not my fault.

[Morat20]

SOTC is Shadow of the Colossus.

Anyway, here's the whole story:
Started playing Magic again (seriously) and have been going to tournaments almost every weekend.
2011 has been one of the worst years for games that actually make me turn around and go "OK, I'll disappear from real life for a week."

Catherine, Demon's Souls 2 (haha), and other games are coming out next year that'll get me more excited about stuff. Fallout New Vegas is fun but it's almost not worth talking about (what's there to say, really?). MMORPGs are universally bad and that's not my fault.

I keep wanting to play Magic, but remembering that I enjoyed building decks more than I enjoyed playing, and also I failed out of college because I was having a bit too much fun playing Magic. OTOH, I was 18 and really stupid. Now I'm much older, and not quite as stupid.

Plus, I prefer playing it with real people -- the online stuff just doesn't cut it, and none of my real life friends is willing to dip their toes back into CTGs at this point.

I guess I'm a little luckier than you -- I have a large backlog of games to finish -- Fallout 3, Bioshock, Assasin's Creed to just name a few I own but haven't played or finished yet.

[ghost]

I prefer playing Magic with real people that I already know, and all the people I know quit playing a long time ago. 

[schild]

I prefer playing Magic with real people that I already know, and all the people I know quit playing a long time ago. 

Send me your cards then.

Seriously though, I've made a lot of friends playing Magic. There's also a lot of people I'd never ever want to be friends with playing Magic, but pounding their faces in during a tournament and then watching them shake is, well, pleasing.

[Thrawn]

Seriously though, I've made a lot of friends playing Magic. There's also a lot of people I'd never ever want to be friends with playing Magic, but pounding their faces in during a tournament and then watching them shake is, well, pleasing.

The only thing better then playing with friends is going to a tournament and completely shit-stomping some trash talking arrogant idiot that just dropped hundreds of dollars on the latest "unbeatable deck".