Microsoft/Lionhead Gamescom Stuff

[schild]

Fable Episodic. Episodes 1-5 on Sept 29th, XBL.

Fable III in development.

I wonder if Fable III will play itself.

Peter Molyneux at Gamescom 2009: "I think there's something fundamentally wrong with RPGs like Fable... It's a mechanic that's been there since the eighties. I'm going to take that foundation stone and throw it away."

Press Callback: "What a douchebag."

Molyneux: "HOLLA"

[schild]

Peter after the trailer: "You are going to become the ruler of the whole of Albion. You've played in this land in Fable 1, in Fable 2 you became a hero; this time, why not rule Albion? Why not be a king or a queen?"

HAHAHAHAHA

IT IS GOING TO PLAY ITSELF

"If you look at our iconic leaders like Obama or Gordon Brown; history and the world and the evolution of mankind is based around these iconic leaders." - Peter Molyneux

Have to save that one.

You can "eradicate poverty" says Peter by giving all the money in your treasure room to the people. Or you can keep it all yourself and be more of a tyrant. The point is, there are always consequences.

I don't even have to attribute any quotes anymore. Only ONE game designer in the world would say something like that with a straight face and think it was worth saying at a presser.

From IGN:

You start Fable III as the son or daughter of the hero from Fable II. Half the game will be the journey to rule the land.

Oh, you actually start Fable III based on your Fable II save game data, so it ties in. No real specifics.

Meh.

"Ultimately you overthrow that terrible tyrant who rules Albion, but to do that you have to make some promises. I look at Obama, and he's not looking as fresh faced as he was, is he? He looks a bit haggard. It's as if the truth has been revealed to him."

WOW. Man. I don't know what to say. It's like, he's reading my mind and figuring out everything I DON'T want game designers to think about.

Maybe he should play some My Life as a King and smoke some weed. Or maybe he should stop smoking weed. Whatever he's doing, he needs to do the opposite.

[schild]

So. I'm not posting gameplay details. Basically, here's the deal.

You get to be the King. Great. You get to set taxes, decide where money goes and to whom, and go around all princely and douchebag like while people call you KING Chicken Kicker in cockney mumblespeak. You can also go do dungeons and shit while being King. Also, you have all this power because you're the king.

Yes. The King.

King Chicken Kicker.

CHIKAAAAAN KEECKER

Edit: I could go into posting about the pics he's flashing on the screen and the stuff he's saying, but I can't bring myself to type it. I'll feel like I'm contributing to this shit.

Edit 2: Also, there's a desert beyond Albion that will be in Fable 3. OBVIOUSLY, since it's beyond Albion, you won't control it as king. I'm just going to assume it's the Elephant Graveyard and move on. If he's still talking in 15 minutes, I'm quitting keeping up with this thing.

From Eurogamer:

So they've been experimenting with a new way of seeing the story early - it's called "staging". They wrote all the scripts, then went to Shepperton and hired a big sound stage, got a load of actors and actresses in and a proper director, and started acting out the whole story.

Molyneux fancies himself Shakespeare. I wonder if the stage actors could even understand eachother with all that cockney.

[apocrypha]

"If you look at our iconic leaders like Obama or Gordon Brown; history and the world and the evolution of mankind is based around these iconic leaders." - Peter Molyneux

He's a moron.

[schild]

"Our story isn't just one thread, it branches and merges and there are lots of choices and consequences, and we have to get to the centre of that as quickly as possible."

He talks as if he has these new ideas no one has EVER come up with. I wish he'd have just shown a goddamn trailer. Then I could've read a description and moved on to the WUNDERKIN OF GAMING that is Natal.

03:39:50 -

Or you can listen to the girl's case and excuses for why she stole. You can go and visit her family, for example, and see if they really are as poor as she says.

03:39:26 -

You can investigate things further yourself, or at any time say you've heard enough and make a judgment.

03:39:19 -

Say you're in your throne room and they bring in a girl caught stealing food. You can listen to the witness's statement and arguments for setting an example.

03:38:38 -

Let's take an example - but this example "isn't in the game". Oh.

03:38:09 -

NO, says Peter. They're putting a new mechanic in called "judgments". As king you can judge people and make them defend themselves.

03:37:34 -

"I know what you're thinking out there, you press people, because you're sneaky. You're thinking, is it going to be an RTS, then?"

03:37:08 -

A new slide now - "Need some new gameplay."

Couldn't help but post the whole thing.

NO, NOT RTS, FULL 3D, VOICED JAPANESE DATE SIM. JUDGE THEM, KING CHICKEN KICKER.

There will be all sorts of judgments: "Everything from a crust of bread being stolen to a huge countrywide thing - shall we go to war?"

Fable III: Multiple Choice: The Game

Seriously. Doesn't he realize the LAST thing anyone wants from Fable is the writing and voiceacting of that series? I mean, SERIOUSLY, PETER, I care and want to HELP you.

Edit: Going back to my "dating sim" "joke."

03:41:14 -

There's another new mechanic called Touch, too.

Rape sim confirmed.

BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, IT'S FABLE, SO THERE WILL BE GOOD TOUCH AND BAD TOUCH.

[schild]

It strikes me now, that nature created David De Gruttola (more commonly known as David Cage) and Peter Molyneux as a pair.

They gave David Cage the ability to write an amazing story and weave it into a game in ways we've never seen before. His endings could use some work, but hey, nature made the platypus, so fuckoff. Now, for Peter, they gave him the mongrel leftovers of David. If it wasn't obvious before the Obama/Brown stuff, it is now.

[schild]

03:45:05 -

That's expression touch, but then there's dynamic touch, which "enables you at any time to reach out and touch someone - to hold someone's hand, to pull them along, to be pulled by then, to take the person you love to the top of a cliff and look at the sunset."

03:44:09 -

"Imagine being able to embrace your child. How does that make you feel?"

Sigh. Too easy.

[schild]

I THINK HE'S DONE. ALSO, MILO HAS A GIRL VERSION CALLED KATE. THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Also, late 2010 if you care about Fable III. Which at this point, if you do care, I don't know what to tell you.

[schild]

THAT WAS THE WHOLE PRESS CONFERENCE

[schild]

I'M NOT KIDDING

[schild]

FILLING IN POSTS TO PRETEND LIKE MICROSOFT CARED EVEN A LITTLE ITT

[schild]

Christ. I should just lock this and put it out of its inevitable misery.

What an embarrassment.

[schild]

I'm going to bed. I've been made too stupid, Molyneux-style, to even figure out what to do with this thread.

That PA comic bit about Molyneux pissing on you, yea, that's how I feel right now. Hell, that comic could've been about something else, pretty sure it was Molyneux though. Whatever. I'm drooling now.

Bed.

[ahoythematey]

I'm glad that Black and White burned me back in the day, as it's been so easy ever since to just ignore everything PM says.

[Reg]

Molyneux is his own worst enemy because of the stupid things he says but you'll all still play Fable III and most of you will grudgingly enjoy it.

[ahoythematey]

The last Molyneux game I played and enjoyed at all was either Dungeon Keeper or Theme Hospital.  Fable is one of those games that sounds cool, but then those like myself play it and just shrug.

If Molyneux really wanted to blow my fucking mind right out its skull, he'd announce a remake of Stunt Island.  I'm not sure why, other than I was thinking about it today.

[Lantyssa]

From IGN:

You start Fable III as the son or daughter of the hero from Fable II. Half the game will be the journey to rule the land.

Oh, you actually start Fable III based on your Fable II save game data, so it ties in. No real specifics.

Awesome.  My only daughter is Evil and loves the Temple of Shadows and teddy bears (Seriously, could you get a better combination?).  Her father is around only because I didn't want CPS to take her away when I murdered him and moved in with my real lover.

[rattran]

It's like he took a long, deep look at what's bad/wrong in games, and came up with some new mistakes.

[Yegolev]

Can I make my avatar look like the pissboy?

[Velorath]

THAT WAS THE WHOLE PRESS CONFERENCE

Supposedly they were going to announce a price drop for the Elite (which is speculated to completely replace the Pro, leaving just the Elite and the Arcade), but they pulled the announcement at the last minute to wait for more stock to clear from the shelves.

[schild]

THAT WAS THE WHOLE PRESS CONFERENCE

Supposedly they were going to announce a price drop for the Elite (which is speculated to completely replace the Pro, leaving just the Elite and the Arcade), but they pulled the announcement at the last minute to wait for more stock to clear from the shelves.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa, that wouldn't have mattered.

[Velorath]

I think maybe you were expecting too much from Gamescom.

[schild]

I think maybe you were expecting too much from Gamescom.

That's the amazing thing, I wasn't.

[HaemishM]

This would peg out the lowered expectations meter no matter how low they were. I had zero expectations for Gamescom and this news makes me weep for humanity. Especially Molyneux's insistence that Project Pedophile Natal has an equally creepy female companion.

[squirrel]

So wait, to fully 'enjoy' Fable III I'm going to have to hump my couch?

[Tige]

So wait, to fully 'enjoy' Fable III I'm going to have to hump my couch?

Until now I have never considered adding a signature line.

[Azazel]

I'm going to bed. I've been made too stupid, Molyneux-style, to even figure out what to do with this thread.

That PA comic bit about Molyneux pissing on you, yea, that's how I feel right now. Hell, that comic could've been about something else, pretty sure it was Molyneux though. Whatever. I'm drooling now.

Will Wright, but yes I agree wholeheartedly - nobody should be listening to Molyneaux or buying anything he produces. As of, you know, a decade or so by now.

[WindupAtheist]

Fable was fun. It wasn't whatever sort of ZOMG UNIVERSE SIMULATOR was promised during the hype buildup, but then I hadn't paid any attention to that.

[Koyasha]

Yeah, Fable and Fable II have been pretty fun games overall.  Whatever batshit crazy Molyneux always promises with them doesn't really pan out, but I don't pay attention to that anyway.  My only issue with Fable II was a few interface quibbles and the fact that I didn't like the whole emote-only communication system.  Fable was too short and I couldn't play a female character, but other than that also good.

[Azazel]

I bought Fable on release. I don't really have much that's nice to say about it, but yes, I fell for both Molyneaux' bullshit and the IGN pre-review that talked about how it was made of awesome and candy. Mayb;e if I'd gone in with low or no expectations, but, you know, fuck him right in the ass.

[jakonovski]

That actually sounds pretty good once you translate from Molyneux to English. Just glue that stuff on top of an extended Fable 2 and I'll be in the preorder line.

[Velorath]

I liked Fable II although probably not enough to pick up Fable III at full price.

[NiX]

That actually sounds pretty good once you translate from Molyneux to English. Just glue that stuff on top of an extended Fable 2 and I'll be in the preorder line.

WHAT ARE YOU?

[jakonovski]

That actually sounds pretty good once you translate from Molyneux to English. Just glue that stuff on top of an extended Fable 2 and I'll be in the preorder line.

WHAT ARE YOU?

The first rider of the Consolocalypse! 

[Murgos]

The first rider of the Consolocalypse!  

20 years late?