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Topic: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. (Read 3219 times)
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Sometimes I read something so outrageous that I just have to share. This is one of those times. Have you heard about "the Pirate"? This is when you're getting a blowjob from a girl, and when you're about to come, you ejaculate in her eye. Then you kick her in the shin. The result is the woman squinting and hopping up and down on one foot, holding her leg and screaming "ARRRGH!" How many people are into this? Jack Off WangsThe Pirate. A Hot Karl. Donkey Punching. The Dirty Sanchez. Icy Mikes... Not a day goes by that I don't get at least one question about a sex act that exists only in the imaginations of adolescent boys. I assure you, JOW, that no one has ever attempted "the Pirate," just as no one has ever performed a Hot Karl, delivered a Donkey Punch, or inserted an Icy Mike. They're all fictions. To demonstrate how easily a disgusting, fictitious sex act can be invented and disseminated, I've made one up myself: "The Louisville Plugger." It's too disgusting to describe even here. If anyone out there would like to know what the Louisville Plugger involves, send an e-mail to plugger@savagelove.net. I will e-mail you a description—hell, I'll send you a diagram. Then we can all sit back and see how long it takes for the Louisville Plugger to start coming up in conversations in gay bars, frat houses, and letters to sex-advice columnists. Nothing says romance like a kick to the shin. |
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Sans the boot to the chin, I thought that one was called "The Pelican Eye".
EDIT: Nothing good can come from this thread.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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No, really, nothing good at all can come of this thread.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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This isn't about good, this is about funny.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of...
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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1) After you let loose, how much force could you put into a kick in the shin?
2) Such a move could only prove you hate BJs and never want another one from this particular woman.
3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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WayAbvPar
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Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of... OMG!!! Goddamn it Haemish, I actually did choke when I read that, you bastard. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? |
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? Do you really want to make this thread about fat people too? Because the last one went really smoothly. |
CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? Do you really want to make this thread about fat people too? Because the last one went really smoothly. I just wanted to get you going again because I didn't feel your wanting to kick hippies and feminists was offensive enough. |
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Have you met any hippies before? I like chicks that bathe thanks.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
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Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of... Holy fucking tea on my keyboard Batman! Have you met any hippies before? I like chicks that bathe thanks. Fucking hippies. Don't visit Boulder, CO. if you can't stand them. Although, the Boulder Police force is so incompetant that you could probably get away killing a few of them. Oh, and I bet a website that features exclusive videos of obscure sex acts such as the Hot Karl, or a Donkey Punch could net you a pretty penny. |
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Oh, and I bet a website that features exclusive videos of obscure sex acts such as the Hot Karl, or a Donkey Punch could net you a pretty penny. Hot damn. Time to start working on the websites now. Coming soon: hotkarl.f13.net & donkeypunch.f13.net |
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MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
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hotkarl.f13.net & donkeypunch.f13.net
nice. |
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Arnold
Terracotta Army
Posts: 813
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Is this where the name "shockeye" came from?
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