f13.net forums - f13.net EPYC, Volume 2: Results Boogaloo!

Credits

TEAM SANGRE GRANDE - Miscreants
IainC, Samwise, Itto, Strazos, Quinton, Oban

TEAM ITAJARA - Hooligans
lamaros, Merusk, ClydeJr, Azazel, Nerf, Zombie Sauced

So it's basically Broken Telephone only with pictures and the telephone is SEVERAL MONTHS LONG oh GOD. There was a bunch of subbing and swapping and crap, so yell at me if I screwed up. And then I will yell at you, because screw you!
Click images for full-size versions! Arse!

IainC started us off with this completely sensical quip:
Suddenly it all made sense; I had a vision of the infinity of all creation spread out before me like I'd found Maryland in a box of cookies.

lamaros then had a literal art attack:

And Samwise tersely reminded us why we all fought in the 2015 Gelding Wars:
With his lifelong quest for the Idiot Ent at an end, he breathed a sigh of relief and prepared himself for an eternity of bliss. Unfortunately, he was merely a psychological construct of the Keebler Elf in the Ent's dream, who sought to escape the horror of his own existence by imagining a better life in Maryland. Only the wise man sitting upon the mountain peak could fully conceptualize the cookies, freed as he was of all distractions. In that instant, he achieved enlightenment.

Merusk replied by prying his third eye out:

Itto, recoiling in horror and proper nouns, did the only logical thing:
After meditating under the Kai Yuan Tong Bao, de La Mancha knew what he had to do. He'd desperately travel across Yggdrasil's leaves while it rushed straight into Jörmungandr's path, lacerate it's nose and split it's one good eye asunder. He'd condemn the tree to recessive baldness, and madness would most certainly ensue, but no other recourse was available. After that, dance time, for that was what the good Doctor foretold.

Prompting ClydeJr to deem it necessary to elevate our threat level to "slimy":

Strazos let out a bloodcurdling scream that sounded a little bit like the words:
Senor Travolta is teaching his worms to make the spice flow. It's not working.

Azazel responded with the only natural human reaction--abuse of workplace facilities:

bhodi felt the grip of fear on his crotch, and cried out to his manservant:
Two tentacles look at each other as they reconsider their orders; there's no way to violate this guy without catching the crazy. They know he's crazy - after all, no man in a suit would wear a sombrero like that while delivering a presentation on popular music.

So then Nerf says, well he turns to me and he says:

Quinton took ten hits of acid right there and started speaking using his toes:
When dealing with Humans, one must remember that they are a young race, only recently having left their home system. They are likely to take actions that would appear nonsensical to others -- such as this symbiosis with a starfish that their lead negotiator has undergone. If we should gain their trust, the mining rights to several of their pristine worlds may be secured.

I went back in time, kicked Sauced in the womb, COMMAS, and then edited his last EPYC picture because this was going into ridiculous overtime:

Despite all this, Oban managed to wrap his brain around the hidden message and explicitly stated every single piece of subtext:
It had been a long journey for Starfy and Starly. After 30 years full of adventure, Ogura was finally dead.

The turning point had been the alliance with the Grays and the subsequent move from Pufftop Palace to the alien's compound in Huntsville, Alabama. Seeing the folly of having two starfish attempt to fight evildoers by swimming in circles, the Grays surgically attached the pair to human bodies obtained locally. With their new opposable thumbs and the ability to use firearms, Ogura and his children were no match for the pair.

As they traveled about the world vanquishing evil, the already existing feelings between Starfy and Starly grew from sibling rivalry to fully consummated love.

They are raising their first love child, Fee, in a traditional American manner and plan on living happily ever after.

Thanks for playing, you fat jerksacks. This'll be up top for a week unless it gets hacked by the Chinese. Good work.