Heyalp! Heyalp! It's da Claw! It's da Claw!

[VainEldritch]

You guys have Portuguese enemies in game now?

1. I'm English - I just happen to live in Portugal (which sucks, btw)
2. I'm not anyone's enemy because no one is my enemy - I've been playing the game for 9 days and have yet to shoot or be shot at by another player
3. I've been around F13 for a few years - mostly lurking - as I liked the acerbic wit and"usefully cynical commentary". I thought F13 / Goons might be a good bunch to join up with for a new player, since you have a ton or reallly helpful links in the F13 EVE forum and appeared to be actually encouraging more people to play and even join up - having chat channels and such. Thus far Regel in the F13 channel has been very helpful (even game me some ISK, which I have since been able to pay back - thanks again mate) and Predator irl helped with some advice too so thanks there as well.
4. I've now read around on the history of EVE Online and the Goons so I understand (to the degree that a reasonably intelligent outsider might) the "spy paranoia" bit. I had no idea how deep EVE was in either game-play terms (number of skills and thier differing applicability to game siuations) nor in terms of the sov wars. Well, now I do and I want more than ever to be a part of this game - I'd like to do that with F13/Goons, but you lot don't recruit openly and it seems I am not considered an "insider", so I'm at a loss.

[Reg]

If you really want to join up with the Goons it's not that hard - certainly easier than getting into the F13 goon corp anyway. Just get a forum membership at Something Awful and post regularly there but NOT about Eve. After a few months at Something Awful building credibility you can apply to Goonfleet and most likely get in.

I'm just paraphrasing stuff I've heard Endie say in the past so he should correct me if I'm wrong.

[Trebes]

Just get a forum membership at Something Awful and post regularly there but NOT about Eve. After a few months at Something Awful building credibility you can apply to Goonfleet and most likely get in.

For you, I recommend FYAD.

[WindupAtheist]

stuff

I don't even play. I just like to come here and call people spies.

You fucking spy.

[VainEldritch]

Just get a forum membership at Something Awful and post regularly there but NOT about Eve. After a few months at Something Awful building credibility you can apply to Goonfleet and most likely get in.

For you, I recommend FYAD.

FYAD...? Whodat?

[Reg]

/shrug

No idea. Probably some goon meme I'm clueless about.

[Amarr HM]

FYAD

[Trebes]

FYAD...? Whodat?

Look, the important thing is that you stay out of Trad Games, because I don't need any spies trying to muscle in on the Shadowrun action while they wait out their three months to infiltrate Goonfleet.

There's at least one game going on with pretty good odds of at least two characters getting splattered, and I got an application in as a Formori Shark shaman named "Fin McCool" that is a sure bet to get picked.

[VainEldritch]

stuff

Other stuff

Following the advice of Cadavarine... WUA, gtfo you faggot.

[Phildo]

Never burn your handler like that, Vain!

[VainEldritch]

Never burn your handler like that, Vain!

Hey, I was only only following advice - I'm easily led so blame Cadavarine! Besides, I wasn't aware I was being "handled"... 

[Endie]

Lock and gas...

[bhodi]

Tempting.. but no.

[Yoru]

Stupidity magnets make my job easier elsewhere. 

[VainEldritch]

Stupidity magnets make my job easier elsewhere. 

This was not my intention and I apologise for any ad hominem offense. Neither was it my intention to create a trash thread, nor a "stupidity magnet". Obviously.

[Yoru]

I was thinking more of the AF idiocy into which some other newbie's thread descended.

[IainC]

I'll believe he's not a spy if he can explain his stance on the following subjects:

• Pre-Trammel UO
• SW:G and the NGE
• Anthropogenic Global Warming
• Logical Determinism
• Libertarianism
• Weather patterns in Central Texas

I think that any new recruit should address any three of the above topics in that list in their opening post as a test of their mettle.

[Yoru]

Bonus points for charts.

[Endie]

I am seriously - and I mean seriously - beginning to think that plenty of spies just see me posting shitloads about Eve, check out my post history and finds that I get folks to do stuff in Eve, and then copies my first sentence of my first post:

I have been lurking through f13, waterthread and back to L:tM.

I mean, it happens almost every time now.  Difference is I didn't even notice the Eve thread for six or seven weeks, and was having far more fun in the AW graph thread.

I dare these people to spend their first ten posts like me: going for HaemishM and Tazelbain of all people, making inaccurate jibes about Lum, and getting in a detail-centric argument with Arthur_Parker.

[Grand Design]

I'll believe he's not a spy if he can explain his stance on the following subjects:

• Pre-Trammel UO
• SW:G and the NGE
• Anthropogenic Global Warming
• Logical Determinism
• Libertarianism
• Weather patterns in Central Texas

I think that any new recruit should address any three of the above topics in that list in their opening post as a test of their mettle.

Tick-tock, Clarice.

[VainEldritch]

I'll believe he's not a spy if he can explain his stance on the following subjects:

• Pre-Trammel UO
• SW:G and the NGE
• Anthropogenic Global Warming
• Logical Determinism
• Libertarianism
• Weather patterns in Central Texas

I think that any new recruit should address any three of the above topics in that list in their opening post as a test of their mettle.

Very well… allow me address these in no particular order whatsoever and to jump form one to the other with no regard for my audience, for these subjects are in fact all closely connected, as you will see.

Weather patterns in Central Texas are in fact as likely an explanation as anything yet advanced by the responsible parties for both the “Trammelisation” of UO and the implementation (via lubricant-free insertion) of the NGE in SW:G. The friction generated by the frantic pumping and ramming actions required to achieve the aforementioned community-wide hoop-stretching insertions in turn contributed in no small way to global warming and thus may be considered a direct anthropogenic cause, to wit, the pulling of a “Smed”. Even the most libertarian thinkers must surely have winced at such heinous propositions, the more diabolical because the illusion of future choice was maintained even as the gargantuan shafting approached zenith and the decisions made in that terrible present that would render any future choice little more than the problem of free will.

   

[WayAbvPar]

Weather patterns in Central Texas

Ok that made me LOL. Sorry Eric 

[Reg]

Now that I see the relationship between weather in Texas and the NGE I understand why Schild's car was specially targeted by the baseball sized hail stones.

[Phildo]

Now that I see the relationship between weather in Texas and the NGE I understand why Schild's car was specially targeted by the baseball sized hail stones.

And, perhaps, why mine was spared.

[Vedi]

Now that I see the relationship between weather in Texas and the NGE I understand why Schild's car was specially targeted by the baseball sized hail stones.

Good? Lots of neat skills such as Orbital Strike

Once collision detection goes in, this will probably be the game I play.

[Surlyboi]

to wit, the pulling of a “Smed”.

Points deducted for not following or preceding "Smed" with the term, "Goatfucker".