Help. I'm having an identity crisis.

[Lantyssa]

The only time I've picked up on "the Eye" in recent memory was this cute girl I passed on campus while going to meet a friend so I could escort her to a panel we were doing.  (Besides being oblivious and the "no one will be interested in me anyways" habit Jeff Kelly mentioned, there's not exactly a huge number of women scoping out other women.  Why waste the effort looking, right?  I dismissed it as wishful thinking.)  It turns out this girl was in the class we were giving the panel to.  And said something suitably embarrasing when I made a quip in the "OMG I'm going to die now, but they will remember me forever" manner.

We volunteer together now.  And I got a new friend out of it.  So, uh, yay for "the EyE"?

I'm not sure what the point of this is.  Maybe to say that "the eYe" does exist.  Or bi-directional lesbian gaydar.  Or to give my anecdote so as to feel like part of the crowd.

[Yegolev]

I usually go with:


Hell, I don't know, I just know that sometimes I can get the look going and she notices.  I cannot tell you how I do it, although I suspect "badly" is the norm.  Usually I don't notice getting it because I'm just oblivious.  I believe "the eye" works very much like "Wanna fuck?" in that it's chancey and execution is paramount.  I don't follow through, however, so my anecdotes mostly end here.

[Hindenburg]

There's a scene in Ocean's Thirteen, when Brad is flirting with Catherine, that shows it quite well.

[HaemishM]

Probably he can do "the eye", possibly while sober.

He's Irish, so I'm sure the latter is non-issue.

[stray]

For real, this guy regularly makes Wednesday night a Whiskey night.

[Slayerik]

Text sucks Part II

Jacqui, the dumb but hot one, texts me as I am getting outta work.

"I really wanna see you tonight"

I'm like GREEN LIGHT WOOOT...so I try not to sound too excited and tell I got a few things to do after work and I'll get over there after that. I enter the town I stay at, and get another text

"come on hurry up"

Now any guy at this point is thinking what? Wow this chick is horny and wants it.

I arrive at her apartment, to my shock there is her best friend and her gay roommate. I find out later that the urgency was cause she wanted me to meet her gay roommate before he left. So, I figure ride the storm out, the friend will bounce, and shit will be ON. Her friend is fuckin' glued to the couch. So I decide to help Jacqui out with some video editing, maybe that will earn points or some shit for later. Time passes, I eventually get her over to her room for some 1 on 1 time.

She says to me that she respects the sanctity of marriage. Her parents were divorced and got back together so she wanted to give us the chance or some shit until it was official. I'm like WTF. Its liek law that 6 months passes before its official in MI. Though she admitted being attracted to me, and was being very touchy feelly...that was it. No amount of sweet talking got me anywhere. I have never fled so mislead in my fuckin' life.

She blames it on text not having inflection or some shit like that. Fuck that, I'd say I'm over it but she lives so close that I might deal with more bullshit so I could hook up something. I'm thinking this could be her 'anti-slut' defense and she gives it up next time, but honestly after last night.........fuck.

[Yegolev]

Cut your losses, flog the pope, hit the bar.

[Hindenburg]

She says to me that she respects the sanctity of marriage. Her parents were divorced and got back together so she wanted to give us the chance or some shit until it was official.

Cut your losses, flog the pope, hit the bar.

I concur.

[stray]

Anti-slut defense? How about just stop talking to women like this, if you want sluts?

[SnakeCharmer]

I have never fled so mislead in my fuckin' life.

I fear the rest of your life will be wrought with disappointment if this is the pinnacle of that emotion thus far.

Also, is there a reason she wanted you to meet the gay roommate?  That might be your problem, buckeroo.  Next time, lift something heavy around her and flex your arms or something.  Kick a poodle. 

[Slayerik]

I was counting down till the "you are gay remark " :P

[rattran]

I was counting down till the "you are gay remark " :P

It was on Page 1.

[Merusk]

You were used.. you don't know what for, but you were.  Expect to get that a lot with girls barely out of their teens hitting on divorcees.  Stay the fuck away from anything less than 24 unless you're looking for head games and angsty post-teen bullshit.  It was true 30 years ago, it was true 20 years ago and it'll be true 10 years from now; young girls aren't worth the work.

If it were me I'd be going after single mom divorcees.  They'll be more mature and while some of them are looking for a new dad for their kid you'll spot them easily enough - just like you'll learn to spot th 20 somethings who want to latch on as trophy wives.  Plus, most guys try to stay the hell away from any women with a kid; doubly so for divorcees -  meaning there's a bigger pool with no competition.   Anywho, you're damaged goods yourself, so you know the scratch & dent section isn't filled with only cast-off junk.

Stray: No, the first one is "I'd beat the shit out of you if it wouldn't ruin my manicure."  the second is "Woah, doc, is that your finger or your fist?"

[stray]

Wait.. What are you responding to me about again? 

[Merusk]

Wait.. What are you responding to me about again? 

Your pics on the last page asking if they were the male version of "The eye"

[Selby]

Not to sound like a prick, but odds are good that you never got either because you're ugly.

Or maybe I just didn't spend any of my time and picking up women (or at least trying to), so I never bothered to learn any of this finesse all you Casanovas are letting me in on.

As far as ugly, I am sure everyone else here is too.

[stray]

Meh, no one's trying to be a Casanova. Just talking about standard unspoken signals people give off. Each species has them, I guess?


I'm only ugly to racists. 

[Hindenburg]

Or maybe I just didn't spend any of my time and picking up women (or at least trying to), so I never bothered to learn any of this finesse all you Casanovas are letting me in on.

Fooling everyone there, mate 

Don't be mad because your face is the punishment of an unjust god, just blame your parents.

[Signe]

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

[stray]

Pink haired, rotting zombies included.

[Selby]

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

I used to think so but then I realized that no, they really aren't.  Some people sure are, the rest of us are just ugly and have to get by on something else.

[Yegolev]

I was counting down till the "you are gay remark " :P

I had, until now, assumed you had not yet shown her The Phone.  That would explain a lot about the "hey, here's my gay pal".  Wrap some electrical tape on that shit before your next trip to the community college quad.

I am fairly partial to the older and more cynical women.  We have much to talk about.

[stray]

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

I used to think so but then I realized that no, they really aren't.  Some people sure are, the rest of us are just ugly and have to get by on something else.

Well man, there's no universal ugly like there's no universal beauty. Some people are more broad and/or openminded than others, some people do stand out a bit, but beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Some people will consider a person attractive while that same person is considered unattractive by others -- and then what's considered attractive by the second group might get disagreement from the first. So in the end, it doesn't even fucking matter. Some people have even the most peculiar tastes. For example, a girl a friend introduced me to awhile back - she was kind of just trying to get out for the night or something, and the minute i met her, she started getting on my ass, like i was a child. Telling me to stop smoking, trying to be all morose for the most part. Basically, not impressed. Fair enough too! I was cool with her, kept a smile on my face, bought her drinks.. blah blah. By the end of the night, she did start getting frisky and i did keep in touch with her afterwards, but... (fuck i'm making this long), she had this boyfriend, an old guy (eventually saw a pic of him, he looked like a stubby grey haired chipmunk), and this dude pressed all of her buttons. For whatever reason, he was her type. I was still friends with her though, and then recently, she broke up with the dude. I was bored one night, tried to see if she wanted to go out again, and she was all hesitant. A couple of weeks later she hooks up with yet another old dude, except he was a bit like Santa Claus, with a trucker hat. And believe me, she's pretty cute. She can pull off a supergirl outfit at least. And there's some burly Santa looking dude shacked up with her. Heh. I don't even want to try figuring that out, but obviously, she's into old men. While she treated a young guy like me like she was my mom or some shit at the very instance we met.

Yay anecdotes. Sorry if that was too long.

Oh, and I'm not complaining one bit. Anyone who tries to "counsel" on me this is gonna get punched in the dick  

[MahrinSkel]

I'm with the "cut your losses" crowd.  She's either playing with your head, or has no idea what she wants and thinks she's a character in a romance novel.  Life's too short, let her fuck with somebody else's hormones while she figures it out.

--Dave

[Cyrrex]

...and since you are about to cut her loose anyway, now is the time for you to pull out the "wanna fuck?" line.  If she hesitates, then you turn it into, "either we're gonna fuck now, or I'm outta here."  I mean, what could you possibly lose at this point? 

[Slayerik]

...and since you are about to cut her loose anyway, now is the time for you to pull out the "wanna fuck?" line.  If she hesitates, then you turn it into, "either we're gonna fuck now, or I'm outta here."  I mean, what could you possibly lose at this point? 

Yeah, I mean, let's not act like I'm trying to dive back into a long relationship or something. I'm lookin' for a girl that wants to go out once in a while, have fun, and have more fun later. If that turns into a relationship so bad it....So far Danielle is the only one panning out in that front. But battin' .333 is like all star level :P

And to the earlier stuff, I'd say I'm a pretty good lookin' guy, even if I'm not I carry myself that way anyway.

[Signe]

Of course you are good looking. 

In your own way. 

[schild]

Let's see what your batting average drops to when you start telling girls you're obsessed with a 10 year old videogame made by a larper that wears stupid outfits and pays real dollars to go into space after blowing millions on a game where he's a general.

Seriously, guys, really, the 4 people participating in this charade, I really don't think anyone cares. Livejournal that shit. Or do it in private.

[Slayerik]

Let's see what your batting average drops to when you start telling girls you're obsessed with a 10 year old videogame made by a larper that wears stupid outfits and pays real dollars to go into space after blowing millions on a game where he's a general.

Seriously, guys, really, the 4 people participating in this charade, I really don't think anyone cares. Livejournal that shit. Or do it in private.

This is serious business man.

Anyway, I was entertained. Den the shit if ya want.

For the record I haven't said shit about UO in a long time, pretty much everyone knows my stance, why the fuck would some chick care or would I tell her? Do you even interact with women? You don't talk about shit like your new epix and ganking noobs with them.

[stray]

Let's see what your batting average drops to when you start telling girls you're obsessed with a 10 year old videogame made by a larper that wears stupid outfits and pays real dollars to go into space after blowing millions on a game where he's a general.

Seriously, guys, really, the 4 people participating in this charade, I really don't think anyone cares. Livejournal that shit. Or do it in private.

This is serious business man.

Anyway, I was entertained. Den the shit if ya want.

I think this subject has a lot more entertainment potential than any other, but it doesn't really work around here for some reason. Even if you're self-effacing, you're being live journal casanova or some shit. Just quit while you're ahead. 

[Slayerik]

Yeah, fuck it.

[schild]

Agreed.

[NowhereMan]

But now where am I going to go to to learn how awesome everyone else is at picking up chicks?

[Cyrrex]

And then there are those of us who are rather enjoying living vicariously through Slayerik.  You can't just abandon us now!

[Nebu]

Learn how to play the harmonica.  If this guy can get laid, anyone can.