Festivus '08: It's that time again.

[schild]

You know what to do, motherfuckers.

[ahoythematey]

WHERE'S YOUR GAME, LUM?

[schild]

Apparently Ahoy did not know what to do. Nor did he use skills of deduction to figure out that Lum can't just willy nilly post about a project from his prior job - a project they likely own.

As such, here's one of my grievances:

Ahoy nearly fucked up this thread on the first response. Goddamnit. Well-played.

[ahoythematey]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus#Airing_of_Grievances

Since when did Festivus have to be rational?  The question stands!

[bhodi]

sam, an eggplant for being a complete asshole to his employees, and for not realizing his self-evident truths have a sampling bias.

Sony for refusing to open up the RSX chip in the PS3. Sony AND Microsoft for trying to saddle people with poor video streaming protocols due to being overly concerned with DRM, making me STILL unable to replace my XBMC with the next generation console.

Whoever convinced the populace to accept commercials in front of movies after the movie start time.

[Rasix]

I'm going to make a preemptive grievance against the dumb motherfuckers that are going to put in this thread a list of things they hate.  You're doing it wrong and making me angry. 

Teenage suicide, don't do it.

[schild]

Well, to be fair, traditionally, f13 festivus is a list of things people hate. We celebrate festivus in our own special way here.

[Rasix]

And they disappoint me every year.  See, I can work this into my belief structure.

[Paelos]

I'm pissed off at the motherfuckers at Grant Thornton who brought in 20 of us to an office visit, set out business cards with our names on them, gave us calculators, talked about how it was our turn to see how they are as a company and get to know them better.

Then, they hired 2 full-time people. Fuck you, Grant Thornton. Bringing in that many people and bumping up their hopes the whole way is a bullshit way of recruiting. You are now on my shit-list for anybody who asks.

[schild]

I have an axe to grind with online media, and by extension, gaming journalism. I'm gonna go grind it.

[schild]

I hate that I'm too lazy to grind that axe.

[ahoythematey]

I'll help carry that grievance, then.

You fuckheads have the potential to be viewed by anybody in the world, the power to truly inspire people and help them move into the future with nothing harder than clicking on a link, and what do you do?  You make endless top-ten lists, and you can't even be bothered to fucking fact-check your sources before posting stupid, incorrect bullshit.

I think of all this wasted potential, and I feel overcome with disappointment.

[Draegan]

I hate the enormous african american woman who walked out in front of my moving car then stood there.  FUCKING STOOD THERE.  Staring at me and shaking her head.  This carried on for about 40 seconds.

FUCKING JUST STOOD THERE.  Bitch.

[schild]

I'll help carry that grievance, then.

You fuckheads have the potential to be viewed by anybody in the world, the power to truly inspire people and help them move into the future with nothing harder than clicking on a link, and what do you do?  You make endless top-ten lists, and you can't even be bothered to fucking fact-check your sources before posting stupid, incorrect bullshit.

I think of all this wasted potential, and I feel overcome with disappointment.

Whoa pal. Don't preach to the choir. The online media linked to the recruitment thread, not this one. Which reminds me, I have to do my best of 2008 post. HAHAHA.

No seriously, fuck you for clumping us in with them. You have NO FUCKING CLUE how angry i am with the online media today. So much so that when my time runs out at Giant Realm (which has a date by the way), I'm done with it. Fuck them. The entire fucking clownshoes community of hacks and assholes. They are _useless_ and add nothing to the internet. Leeches on goddamn society.

It's an industry made for people with little to no marketable skills. I'm not calling myself a paragon, but I just don't want to ever be called a colleague by any of them. I am _disgusted_ with them now. Beyond them just covering bad games. It's much more than that now. I want a street brawl.

[Lantyssa]

I hate the medical industry and what it has been shaped into by the insurance companies.  I broke my toe severely (badly enough my ortho was impressed), was in major pain, and drugged out of what little of my mind was left and they wanted me to navigate some byzentine system to make appointments so that my insurance would cover it.  The week leading up to my surgery was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life.  The only reason I didn't flip out and hurt someone was because I was too crippled to catch anyone.

It's an industry made for people with little to no marketable skills. I'm not calling myself a paragon, but I just don't want to ever be called a colleague by any of them. I am _disgusted_ with them now. Beyond them just covering bad games. It's much more than that now. I want a street brawl.

That's because they're all WoW players.

[HaemishM]

Fuck you, Mark Jacobs, for taking an interesting IP and a good concept (oRVR) and being too goddamn myopic to see what was wrong with Warhammer Online. The first 16 levels were fun and then your guys just shit all over the game with their complete lack of ability to think of doing anything else but endlessly repeating the same fucking motions we've just been going through. Also, fuck you for level 26 Witch Hunters not getting any new ability after having to grind through the shit shit shitty PVE to get there.

Also, fuck Paul Barnett in his tiny little earhole for all those video blogs, especially the one where he threw code under the bus for the RVR contribution fuckup.

Fuck insurance companies on GP.

Fuck the stock market, investment bankers, and really bankers of all stripes. You've all graduated from the Raging Douchebag Academy with Cocksucker Emeritus degrees. CDO's my fucking ass.

Fuck house flippers for turning the mortgage concept into a get rich quick pump and dump scam.

Fuck American CEO's for being complete wastes of space.

Fuck 3rd party Wii developers for shoveling the most irritating pile of shit at us since the 3do's useless launch lineup.

Fuck EA Sports for being completely incapable of making a sports game on the Wii worth a rat fuck.

Fuck Lucasarts for being incapable of making a Wii lightsaber dueling game with motion controls on the Wii. I mean, how fucking hard a concept is that to get - you could practically print money off the nerdgasms if you get it right, and you fuck it up. Quicktime event boss fights? REALLY?

Fuck the Dodgers for sweeping my Cubs.

Fuck you, Green Bay Packers' defense for not being able to stop the run.

All you bitches owe me this year.

[Sky]

Fucking insurance companies and capitalistic medical industry. You know what's fucking more american citizens and businesses and public sector organizations than anything else? THAN ANYTHING ELSE? The burden of healthcare is crushing everyone, and even those with decent insurance are getting fucked. So we've got a system that is crushingly expensive for employers and employees, doesn't adequately cover costs, adding to the expense for employees, and it adds a layer of bureaucracy that at best slows thing to a mind-numbing grind and at worst KILLS PEOPLE.

You know why my job is at risk, why we can't hire new employees, why we've had a hiring freeze for years now, and this year salary freezes? Healthcare costs. And we can't afford them because the state and county keep cutting our budget due to healthcare costs.

Also, legalize the fucking weed, for fuck's sake. I don't want to break the law, but I'd like to smoke a fucking joint in my living room on sunday morning playing Fallout3.

Also, fuck Bush and Cheney and all their incompetent to downright traitorously evil henchmen. You guys make me fervently hope the christians are correct, so you will burn for eternity in a lake of fire.

Ok, I think that's it for now. I don't have enough steam to get into wall street and their mirrors of wealth generation.

[Velorath]

I have an axe to grind with online media, and by extension, gaming journalism. I'm gonna go grind it.

At the same time, you have to grind an axe with the audience that encourages most of gaming journalism's shitty habits.

[Sky]

At the same time, you have to grind an axe with the audience that encourages most of gaming journalism's shitty habits.

There is no axe sharp enough to deal with that. I humbly submit as evidence any comment thread on any website ever.

[Nebu]

Things that piss me off:

Extremists... especially those that hide behind the guise of religion.  This goes for homophobes, racists, and any other facist I can think of.

Selfish, wealthy fucks that sold their ethics for cash. 

The last eight years of the Bush regime.  I also hate myself for not telling Dick Cheaney to fuck himself the last time I met him.  Damn social graces.

Insurance companies and the American healthcare system.

Bailouts. 

Political posturing.

Real estate.

People that get pissy when you expect them to do their jobs.

Fox. 

[Ookii]

Fuck you IBM for having the shittiest support system I have ever seen.  You make shit products and employ retarded people (except for anyone here who posts here).

I also love how I installed a product for my work was going to pay a consultant my yearly salary to install, GIVE ME A RAISE.

[apocrypha]

Alright, fuck the governments around the world that are pouring 100's of billions into the pockets of the fucking bankers while leaving the workers to rot. AND telling us that we're the ones who are going to have to pay for this anyway in the end.

You think this recession is hurting people now? Just wait a few years when all that borrowing has to be paid back and we're the ones that have to pay it in the form of increased taxes, crappier healthcare, education, housing, etc. It's a crime against humanity and I want to see the system responsible for it fucking burn and the rich elite benefiting from it lined up and fucking shot.

[Paelos]

Shoot the rich and make a statement.


Also, fuck you media. Grab ratings by scaring us into a recession. Economics exist on certain assumptions that you continue to undermine in favor of profits and rating. You are cannibals.

[Bunk]

It seemed like an exotic name.  I thought, "Poet?  Author maybe?"  And then I went to Wikipedia and learned that this only matters to Star Trek nerds.

Big Gulp has squeaked in to my list of grievances at the last moment.

[stray]

Passive-aggressives - Fight me, damnit! Or something.

"Intuitive thinkers" and mind readers - Wrong again. Ask a fucking question sometime.

Anonymous

Anyone down with OPP

[Nevermore]

I hate the medical industry and what it has been shaped into by the insurance companies.  I broke my toe severely (badly enough my ortho was impressed), was in major pain, and drugged out of what little of my mind was left and they wanted me to navigate some byzentine system to make appointments so that my insurance would cover it.  The week leading up to my surgery was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life.  The only reason I didn't flip out and hurt someone was because I was too crippled to catch anyone.

Amen to this.  Fuck the insurance companies, who are only interested in profits instead of patient care.

Also, fuck the RIAA on principle for their government sanctioned extortion scheme, the Music Industry in general for churning out nothing but crap and fuck the general trend towards making everything 'licensed' or rented with a monthly fee instead of just being able to go out and buy something and it actually being yours.

[Rendakor]

Fuck the Wii, and all the Wiitards who buy it.

Fuck Squeenix for screwing up Last Remnant by failing to use the FUCKING UNREAL ENGINE well enough for consistent double digit framerates.

[Signe]

This year I hated:

Insurance companies.  All of them.  There's not a good one among them.

Posers.

SUVs.  All of them.  The bigger they are, the more I hate them.

Fancy people. 

Oil companies.  All of them.  There's not a good one among them.

[SnakeCharmer]

Fuck developers that spend 3 years creating a game with 10 hours of gameplay.
Fuck complex carbohydrates and their love of expanding my waistline.
Fuck hybrid cars.
Fuck bloggers and people that take them seriously.
Fuck lazy fucks.
Fuck the Packers for not resigning Brett Favre.
Fuck the BCS and NCAA for not instituting a plus 1 or 4 team playoff in Div IA college football.
Fuck Boeing.

[WayAbvPar]

If I didn't mention it in my goodwill post, I probably actively hate it. Or am apathetic towards at it at the very least. Some highlights of my scorn-

MMOG publishers- I played 2 or 3 new MMOGs this year, and ended the year going back to EVE. Can someone please build a decent PvP game without levels??

Wall Street and the corporate elite. Fuck every one of you for steering the economy into a fucking ditch and leaving us plebians to burn in the wreckage while you and yours parachute down safely in your ejector seats.

EA Sports. The EASHL portion of NHL 09 was a genius idea that has been completely destroyed due to utter incompetence and negligence on behalf of the developers, QA, and publishers. I fervently hope that the 2k folks steal the idea and unfuck it for next year so I can play a decent game without gamebreaking bugs and exploits.

Clay Bennett, David Stern, and the rest of the fucksticks responsible for the Sonics leaving Seattle.

Pretty much everything to do with Seattle sports this year. What a fucking debacle from start to finish.

George Bush, Dick Cheney, and the rest of the lying, thieving, Constitution-raping, profiteering assholes who have run this country's good name into the ground the past 8 years.

[Broughden]

Fuck humanity.

Fuck the entire present US administration.

Fuck any one who still supports them. May you seriously die of fucking ass cancer after being hit by a bus.

Fuck the present US medical industry, especially insurance companies.

Fuck damn near everyone working on wall street. All of them. Top to bottom.

Fuck the Big Three.

Fuck US companies and industry and US people for wanting shit so cheap they ended up sending our entire manufacturing industrial base overseas to third world countries. So that our entire workforce is now either financial industry, consulting, medical or flipping burgers.

Fuck my new house for taking up so much of my free time. I would like to do something else on the weekend other than paint, mow, clean, or one of the other 200 chores home ownership has saddled me with.

Fuck the space industry for not having found warp drive yet. I want off this rock.

Happy Holidays all and fuck the lot of you.

[apocrypha]

Happy Holidays all and fuck the lot of you.

This post actually made me laugh out loud - with, not at, I hasten to add 

[Lantyssa]

Do I need to use 'fuck' for this to be proper?  I don't really have the vitriol in me, but I don't want to do this improperly.  So fuck you stupid chemical imbalances leading to a depressive attitude.  I guess.

[apocrypha]

The day fuck becomes mandatory will be... er... ok, I dunno where I'm going with that 

[Nevermore]

Do I need to use 'fuck' for this to be proper?

Nothing is better than a proper fuck.