Television Review: The Apprentice S1E11 - Circus, Circus

[Snowspinner]

In the wake of corporate scandals at Enron, Tyco, Worldcom, America's faith in business and the business world was shaken. These things are always temporary, though, and something always happens to restore America's faith in major institutions like that – whether it be actual improvement, or just forgetfulness.

In the meantime, though, we get the glorious fun of The Apprentice, a show that seems devoted to making the business world look as absolutely unsympathetic as is humanly possible. It succeeds admirably. This week, there's six people left, and, as always, one of them gets fired. But, frankly, none of the six people left are remotely sympathetic human beings – they're either stupid, ruthless, or, in most cases, both.

And yet the show is delightful fun. Part of this is Donald Trump's doing – no matter how ruthless the contestants may be, frankly, Donald Trump is a bigger dick than any of them, and there's something satisfying in watching the big dick kick around all the little dicks. Another part of it is the general train wreck of a concept – quite frankly, none of these idiots seem like they can competently run a major business. And yet one of them is going to. Sadly, it's unlikely that NBC will cover this ensuing disaster. (One of the great flaws of reality television – you never get to see the inevitable meltdown after the "happy ending." Even when the meltdown is vastly more interesting than the show leading up to it – c.f. Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire)

All the same, we can get our kicks now. This week, we get Trump egotistically showing off his waterfall, and proving that his hair is real. We get the lackeys trying to get people to gamble. We also get tigers. It's all very extravagant, and in the midst of it we have our usual arrangement of stupid mistakes. This episode, the big mistake is trying to have  $300 car rental be a major draw, competing with a raffle for $1000 cash. Inexplicably, Amy, who came up with this idiotic scheme, is not fired, because of her superb past performance, and Katrina gets fired, mostly because Amy is boning Nick and so gave him the free ride.

The real highlight of the episode, however, is the ten-year-old businessman who shows up briefly to make a deal with the team that won – letting them use a tiger. And who manages to bitchslap them all by telling them to shut the fuck up and stop trying to sell him something he already agreed to buy. This was a deeply satisfying moment – much like when the lackeys are slapped around by the Donald. Only this time, they get slapped around by a twelve year old. And then later by Trump. Which, all in all, makes for as satisfying an episode of reality television as one can hope for.

The Apprentice is about the stupidest thing I watch in a given week. But it's still quite satisfying. Sure, the cocks that ran Enron, Tyco, and Worldcom may get off scot-free. But at least, one by one, the hapless lackeys are being fired.

The Apprentice airs on NBC at 9/8c.

[Paelos]

So far I think the show has proven that people who are generally stupid or don't know how to deal with people get the ax. It has also proven that while many women are good at sales and detail oriented organization, they fail miserably at keeping their emotions out of the game, and thus cost themselves late. The backbiting, the hate, the petty bullshit, all of it came in the weeks where women kept getting canned. Meanwhile the men were on the sidelines having a good chuckle and watching the trainwreck while systematically waiting for the chicks to shoot themselves in the foot. That all on the heels of an all-female asskicking early. Since the male/female merge, another man was never eliminated while the females dwindled to just one. Amy is completely stupid for keeping Nick around because inevitably two guys will gang up on her in the board room, and she will be crushed.

The moment with the 10-year old telling them not to sell what was already sold was pure television gold. In fact, if I'm Trump, I scrap the rest of the contestants and hire the rugrat, because he seems to have more sense. I studied leadership in college, and I seriously think that The Apprentice should be required watching for anybody that wants to be a leader. There are so many examples of how not to manage people in that show you could build an entire class around their mistakes. Needless to say, I'm very curious what company Trump is handing over to these people. My guess is something heavily product sales related, because putting people with no experience in one of this real estate ventures would be a bloody nightmare.

[shiznitz]

The moment with the 10-year old telling them not to sell what was already sold was pure television gold. In fact, if I'm Trump, I scrap the rest of the contestants and hire the rugrat, because he seems to have more sense.

Hello, McFly?! The kid works at the TRUMP casino.

[FeebleMan]

Great review.

The fact that most of these lackeys are also amazingly successful entrepreneurs prior to the show is bone chillingly frightening. How the fuck can Nick be the top copier sales man in all of California when he doesn’t have the sense enough to shut up and listen to what customers actually are looking for?

Totally agree that Apprentice 2 should follow the winner and document exactly what happens when given the reins of a shop already in motion.