Happy 4 Day Weekend! (AKA Thanksgiving)

[DraconianOne]

or c) make friends with other parents who have similar lifestyles. Because, funnily enough, they'll be gagging to get some time out and meet new people too. Probably.

No, you're wrong.

Well hell, I'll just have to tell all the friends that my wife and I have made since our eldest was born that we can't be friends with them anymore and can no longer meet with them down at the (child friendly) pub or go on (family) holidays with them or days out and that they'll have to stop coming around or ringing up for a chat.

I don't know if you've got kids but if you have then you obviously haven't read the manual.  Either that or paint your post green.

On topic: I am thankful for my kids. They are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Merusk - sorry to hear that. Sympathies and well wishes.

[DraconianOne]

1) Get your kids involved with activities.  You'll meet other parents with similar interests and soon find people to swap babysitting time with.

2) Do volunteer work, particularly at the children's school.  I do a lot of volunteering and often took my daughter with me.  We met civic folks and also got my daughter interested in giving back to the community as well.

3) Go to the library.  Lots to do there and you'll meet interesting people.

4) Find a community open gym.  Meet other parents and playmates for your kids. 

5) Look for community events in your area.  These are a great forum for meeting people for you as well as your kids.

Nebu has read the manual.

[Hindenburg]

Shame most of his alternatives are either horribly boring or don't work in the evening.

Have you honestly ever gone on a family holiday with another family? That's not the kind of thing that people pull themselves through more than twice. From my experiences, and from seeing quite a few family holidays in my time, those things tend to be ridiculously superficial.

[Nebu]

Shame most of his alternatives are either horribly boring or don't work in the evening.

I raised two children on my own while in medical school.  Time and money were very tight, so I had to be creative.  I took my daughter to plays, to the museum, and to a lot of community events.  Many were in the evenings.  I guess it helps to live in a city with a university. 

[DraconianOne]

Have you honestly ever gone on a family holiday with another family?

Yes. Would you like to see the photos?

I don't know Merusk's situation. I don't know how old his kid(s) are or what the options are around where he lives. I can't say whether anything that Nebu suggested is either viable or the sort of thing that Merusk would enjoy. But I do know that it's entirely possible and I do know it's something I've done.  You change your lifestyle. You reprioritize. You adapt. You evolve.

You, on the other hand, are out of your element. Shut the fuck up.

[Lantyssa]

Shame most of his alternatives are either horribly boring or don't work in the evening.

Have you honestly ever gone on a family holiday with another family? That's not the kind of thing that people pull themselves through more than twice. From my experiences, and from seeing quite a few family holidays in my time, those things tend to be ridiculously superficial.

Yes.  It rocked.

Of course our families were actually friends, as opposed to some superficial group of people to hang with for the sake of hanging with someone.

[Soln]

Very sorry for your loss Merusk. 

[Soln]

True story.

My wife and I went up to Vancouver Island for the break.  On Thanksgiving Day we decided to car camp on Saltspring Island at a Provincial Park since it was warm.  Inside the park is a restored pioneer farm surrounded by some active plots (all organic it seems).  Inside the park, on the road to the campsites, we were swarmed as we slowed down to see what was in the trees by...

[Cyrrex]

Same thing happened to me last Christmas, only it was wild Best Buy gift cards.

[Jimbo]

Damn Merusk, sorry for you loss, I do hope that getting into Arlington goes easy.  With that kind of service record it should be automatic.

Update on the 10 month old, dad is in jail, now claims he doesn't speak English, so the trial is pushed back, mom got arrested too, founds out she wasn't as innocent as she claimed.  Kudos for the Adult and Child Protective Services, the combination of judges, detectives, social workers, and law enforcement have been great working with us.  The mom and dad would tie the child up (she is 10 months) in a chair and throw stuff @ her to keep her awake, the burn came out that the dad did it by burning the child's leg to show the mom that her cooking pot wasn't hot enough, the more that came out, the more it makes your stomach turn.  I hope mom and dad plead guilty and the child gets a new family.

How many single dad's with kids do we have on board now?  It used to be pretty rare, I know back in 97 the average was like 2 to 100 (father having custody and raising the child vs mother having custody and raising the child), but I'm wondering if the average is shifting.  Speaking of which, we got snow and cold weather! Whoot! Hopefully it sticks around and I can take the littleone skiing again.

[SnakeCharmer]

Where the fuck do you even find "real life" friends at 34 when you take care of kids in the evenings? Beats me!

For starters, get away from the computer and find some 'outside' hobbies.  I've been lucky that I've still got quite a few close friends from college, and we all make a point to stay in touch.  And I've got alot of friends in the industry I'm in that are at or around the same age.  Some are a bit older, a couple a bit younger, but they're still friends that come to the house every so often for a football party or whatnot.

That said, one of the coolest things I found locally was a mens social club of sorts.  It started up as a way just for people to get help with home projects and whatnot, and evolved to job networking and such.  But it's really kind of cool in that people trade off stuff.  We've got a website that has a calender that you post that you're going to have a party or need help putting up a fence or whatever.  So, if you can do electrical work or plumbing, you post it or if you're available for free lawyer consultation stuff, that sort of thing.  One guy posted he was going to be laying sod and doing some yardwork on <whatever weekend> and 10 guys posted they'd help.  Everybody showed up, drank some beer and grilled some burgers, got his yard done.  Our kids all played together.  Good times.  It's kind of a no particular religion faith based thing, so that might not be everybodies bag.  Quick prayer before and after, nothing serious.

But get involved with stuff.  Get outside.  Go to charity event things like cook offs, auctions, or whatnot.  Strike up a conversation with someone.  I fish, play golf and tennis, and we go to alot of events as a family.  My regular Sunday afternoon foursome at the golf course is composed of guys that didn't know each other until we showed up after a series of Sundays and just made a standing tee time. 

Nebu nailed it, but the key is just getting away from the computer and getting out.

[Yegolev]

I'll say first off that I'd choose my boy over any friend, past, present or future.  He's awesome, and if anyone doesn't think their kid is awesome then they are Broken.

Finding friends with kids takes work, like anything else, and it helps to lower your standards a bit.  Me, I'm sort of odd.  I don't really fit in with the crowd out here, not a lot of gamers and I don't care for sports.  Still, there are quite a few handyman types, the real-world hackers that end up working on cars or doing woodworking, and I relate to those guys.

I met some real goobers when I coached 3-4 year-old T-ball.  Firstly, I did it for my son.  I dislike baseball.  Secondly, it turned out to be hilarious.  I won't be doing it again, but I'm glad I did it.  I didn't make any real friends out of that, but now I at least know some people in my community and can give them the wave at the IHOP or when they deliver my pizza or come over to see the helicopter parked in my yard.  However, if I want to have a set of local friends, I'm going to have to get out there and do stuff.

[Merusk]

So anyway, lacking a place to post it and only having mentioned it here.  Today was the memorial service and I am quite plastered.

The name of the funeral home was Tufts Schildmeyer and I giggled inappropriately the first time I saw the sien.  Here's the obit, I was somewhat wrong on the honors.

http://www.tuftsschildmeyer.com/Obituaries/obit-display.jhtml?DB=obits&DO=display&ID=1228489001_12784

There now you bastards know my name and last name. Phbt.  I'm going to sleep.

[schild]

Schildmeyer? That's even more jewish than my name!

[Engels]

In lieu of flowers send a donation in his name to the American Cancer Society of Clark County or the 11th Calvary Memorial Restoration Fund-11th ACVVC Treasurer, c/o Ollie Pickral, 571 Ditchley Rd, Kilmarnock VA 22482.

Nice touch. And the military better honor this guy in Arlington.

6 purple hearts, 2 bronze stars, the distinguished service medal, and a silver star.

Don't they give out purple hearts for wounded in action? Or are there other reasons? If so, your dad got shot up a bit, eh?

[Merusk]

Yes, only wounded in action.  He got shot up twice in the same action that got him the silver star, and took some shrapnel when the hospital the Army forced him to go to  was shelled after his 4th wounding.  He'd refused to stay previously, since time in a hospital isn't counted on your mandatory 365 days in-theater.  Plus, he feared he'd chicken-out and not want to go back.  When you're a walking bandage, though, it's not negotiable.  Ah, irony.

My uncle (a military historian) is somewhat skeptical of the story behind the bronze star. Evidently it was the only tank-on-tank engagement of the Vietnam war, and it's not reported on anywhere.  I figure he's got he medal, so the T-<something> they took out must've been real.  Plus, to hear the story 2 volleys isn't much of a tank battle, so nobody would focus on it.

He can be inurned in Arlington no problem.  The thing is, he doesn't want to be in the Columburium "on some shelf."  It's a question of can we get an actual grave, since they prefer to give those to more current wars and those KIA.  Lots of paperwork to be filed to see about that in the future, when things are more calm.

*Ed- T-82 didn't sound right and I looked it up, whoops that's modern.  Maybe it was a T-85 but I dunno for certain, so I leave it blank.  Point being it was Russian and in a place it shouldn't have been.

[Jimbo]

Actually Merusk, it is pretty famous, I was watching the episode on Battlefield Diaries Tank Battle Vietnam, if it was that one, it was the only US Tanks vs North Vietnam Tanks battle of the war.  There were 3 other battles where NVA used tanks to engage the US, but that one in 1969 was the big battle on that.  The other one was when they tried to stream across the border in 1972 and the Cobra's and USAF blew the hell out of em.  PT-76's was what the NVA used, it is a light tank that was amphibious.

[Engels]

This one?

More stuff here

[Merusk]

Hrm, nope not it.  It wasn't a full platoon battle, just single tank on tank.  The only reason I called it the only tank-on-tank was because that was how my uncle related it to me.  Never trust a Civil War/ Ancient Greece fanatic who is secondarily interested in later history to know the details of another war, I guess.

 The story as my Uncle related it to us over the weekend:

 Dad was in the 11th calv. from '66-'68.  Evidently during this time the VC were keeping armor up north, so the only thing for our guys to do was fire HE rounds into the jungle periodically as ordered.   On one such occasion a VC tank that shouldn't have been anywhere around came out of the jungle while they were in the middle of loading a HE round.  The common sequence is 3 steps (and my uncle said them but I don't remember them.  Load, Target, Fire I think it is..) but as soon as he saw the tank Dad was yelling "Fire, Fire, Fire" just to get the useless-against-armor HE round out of the breech.

They fired, then were loading one of the few AP rounds they had  as the VC tank targeted and fired on them.  (No need to carry a lot of AP at the time.  As was mentioned VC armor was kept up north, you just took it as a matter of requirement.)   The shell bounced off the turret by some miracle in what my dad told my uncle was "the longest 3 seconds of my life" as they loaded the AP, targeted and got lucky as fuck by firing and hitting it in the turret on that shot, taking it out.

Since it was a single tank, someplace it shouldn't have been according to intelligence, the supposition (and I have no idea WHOSE supposition this is) was that it was smuggled piece by piece down the Ho Chi Min trail and assembled somewhere in the area it was destroyed.