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Topic: Horrible, Awful movies that don't deserve their own threads. (Read 73985 times)
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FatuousTwat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2223
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I think Manos is the only movie that made me angry while watching it. I think 10 minutes in I was yelling GET TO THE FUCKING MOVIE! NO MORE COUNTRYSIDE PLEASE!
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Forgot one: Robot Jocks, or however the hell they spelled it.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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stu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1891
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Critters 2. Or was it 3? Probably both.
Anything Critters will always be special for me. At least those flicks are better than The Wicker Man, with Nic Cage.
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Dear Diary, Jackpot!
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Phildo
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Forgot one: Robot Jocks, or however the hell they spelled it.
And its inevitable sequel, Robot Wars. I fucking loved these when I was small.
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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And at least the gunfight (especially Philippe jumping in the fountain of glass).
And yet you put Smokin' Aces in this list which was, at least, funny in places and death by chainsaw up the arse. The opening scene was good and gave me hope for the rest of the film which turned out to be pretentious trash. Jumping into a fountain of glass was about the only good thing about that gunfight which was otherwise dull and lacklustre and so poorly directed, it makes Kevin Smith look like Bertolucci.
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Hey wait! I've enjoyed every Kevin Smith film far more than anything Bertolucci. 
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Smokin' Aces
In a way, they're all the same crappy, non-sensical crime movie.
I mention them because they have that special quality about them... the type of bad, horrible movie that isn't obviously bad (like Manos Hands of Fate or some shit), but have a sort of "hipness" about them, or a good cast that might make people watch them at first. The type of bad movie that points out which one of your friends is pathetically trendy and a big film idiot (and possibly, an idiot in general), if you catch them saying that they actually liked it.
Call me a film idiot, then. I llked Smokin' Aces a lot, in that "holy shit, how ELSE can they blow something up" way. Revolver, yes, that was shitastic wankfest.
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Mrbloodworth
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15148
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I am very sad by the moves some people have posted in this thread.
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Ookii
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 2676
is actually Trippy
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Freddy Got Fingered.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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First Knight
Totally shit upon everything Arthurian.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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I liked Robot Jocks, if it's the movie I'm thinking of where a fist shoots out at the end.
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Mrbloodworth
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15148
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I liked Robot Jocks, if it's the movie I'm thinking of where a fist shoots out at the end.
Yep.The charm was in the animation techniques used, and the time frame they were used in. Who watches a move about giant robots for the plot?
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Phildo
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50 years after a nuclear war, the two superpowers handle territorial disputes in a different way. Each fields a giant robot to fight one-on-one battles in official matches, each piloted by a man inside, known as robot jockeys or jox. The contest for possession of Alaska... Science Fiction or just the future?
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Draegan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10043
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 Yeah.
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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Scrolling back I'll say that Robin Williams can potentially be good but almost always when he's in the supporting cast and not the main actor.
My biggest wastes of money?
star wars 1,2,3 Forget Paris(walked out on) and ring 2(american)
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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I don't understand the Robin Williams hate here (been stated before many times), just like the tarantino hate..
He's definitely had some duds, don't get me wrong, but all in all, I like his movies...especially when he's in dramas (comedies tend to suck...although I like his standup).
***
Evan Almighty. Not only was it crap, it was preachy crap.
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Grand Design
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1068
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I don't understand the Robin Williams hate here...
Ever been trapped in a room with someone on a coke bender? Now, imagine you've paid him money to entertain you and instead he dresses up as an old woman and preaches to you in a bad scottish accent.
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MuffinMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1789
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For me, the Robin Williams hate is part of my general dislike for people/actors that spaz the fuck out all the time i.e. Dane Cook, Carrot Top, Tom Arnold. The coke bender comment is pretty spot-on. I'm way too laid back of a guy to be equipped to handle people like that. On a related note, my actor hate list has always been topped by Robin Williams, Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold. Then I was trudging through Nine Months with my g/f and when Robin Williams showed up I passed out and died.
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« Last Edit: October 22, 2008, 06:02:35 PM by MuffinMan »
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I'm very mysterious when I'm inside you.
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WindupAtheist
Army of One
Posts: 7028
Badicalthon
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Good God. Dragon Wars is on Sci-Fi now. I don't even know where to begin on this piece of shit. I'm all about enjoying bad or B-movies, but fuck me I can't even do that with this one. A civilian helicopter that a 200' snake can't just fling to the ground? Military copters firing into unevacuated city buildings? Evil forces that have sword & board troops (Because they're ancient you know..) but also employ missile-firing dinosaurs.  Yeah, that... uh... that's awful. Who would watch that? I mean... missile-firing dinosaurs. Of all the... *runs out to rent it*
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"You're just a dick who quotes himself in his sig." -- Schild "Yeah, it's pretty awesome." -- Me
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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On a related note, my actor hate list has always been topped by Robin Williams, Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold. Then I was trudging through Nine Months with my g/f and when Robin Williams showed up I passed out and died. That's hilarious...
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Good God. Dragon Wars is on Sci-Fi now. I don't even know where to begin on this piece of shit. I'm all about enjoying bad or B-movies, but fuck me I can't even do that with this one. A civilian helicopter that a 200' snake can't just fling to the ground? Military copters firing into unevacuated city buildings? Evil forces that have sword & board troops (Because they're ancient you know..) but also employ missile-firing dinosaurs.  Yeah, that... uh... that's awful. Who would watch that? I mean... missile-firing dinosaurs. Of all the... *runs out to rent it* It sounds way more awesome than it actually was. It's like taking "Cars with guns" and coming up with Auto Assault.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I dislike Robin Williams because he isn't funny. Also he's a one-trick tard that talks too fast. Comedically, he peaked before Mork & Mindy, which was where I was last able to tolerate his presence. Calling him an actor is an insult to a profession that was once regarded the lowest rank of citizenry.
I did like The Fisher King, but it was in spite of Williams and his dick, and because of everyone else involved.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Comedically, he may be one-tricked, but he's a much more versatile actor than you give him credit, I think.
Take Awakenings and Good Will Hunting, for example. Both are subdued doctor types, but really different, believable people.
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stu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1891
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Yeah, I agree with Stray. He did well in Good Will Hunting. Williams' role in The Fisher King was well done also (although I could have done without the man-peen wagging in the park). Two movies I enjoy.
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Dear Diary, Jackpot!
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Take Awakenings and Good Will Hunting, for example. Both are subdued doctor types, but really different, believable people.
Did not watch. Do they contain as powerful a performance as Moscow on the Hudson?
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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lamaros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8021
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Only film I've ever walked out on: Wolf Creek.
Well, I walked out on Blair Witch Project too, but that was due to motion sickness.
I suspect if I had paid to watch SAW or some shit they would count to. Not a big fan of the "thriller/horror as RANDOM VIOLENCE! and OMG LOUD NOISES!" I mean I find it hilarious when I jump out from behind doors to scare the shit out of people, but I'm not exactly going to pay for someone to do it to me... and when you consider that when you take that away all you have is a film that is about showing you violent acts in a supposedly serious and realistic way for no actual purpose... why?
Also that film with wassername and that other tosser was rubbish too.. lets see... 'Unfaithful'. God that was awful.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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The Remake of House on Haunted Hill
The Final Countdown - where the USS Nimitz goes back in tome to right before the attack on Pearl Harbor and not much else happens.
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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I suspect if I had paid to watch SAW or some shit they would count to. Not a big fan of the "thriller/horror as RANDOM VIOLENCE! and OMG LOUD NOISES!" I mean I find it hilarious when I jump out from behind doors to scare the shit out of people, but I'm not exactly going to pay for someone to do it to me... and when you consider that when you take that away all you have is a film that is about showing you violent acts in a supposedly serious and realistic way for no actual purpose... why?
Watch the first SAW on TV if it's ever on again. I saw it that way when Sci-Fi showed it and it's a really good movie without the Random Violence/ Blood & Gore of the 80s slashers. I don't know how the series has devolved, but the first one - at least - was more of a psychological thriller than a gore fest. I imagine there was a lot of gore that was edited out, but the movie held up in the TV version, unlike a Freddy or Jason flick.
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« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 05:24:15 AM by Yegolev »
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Take Awakenings and Good Will Hunting, for example. Both are subdued doctor types, but really different, believable people.
Did not watch. Do they contain as powerful a performance as Moscow on the Hudson? Really.. you haven't seen Good Will Hunting? You should get that. It's... good. I haven't seen Moscow in a longtime, but his characters in either of those movies are nothing like that. He plays it down in those two...so I wouldn't say powerful per se. Just realistic. In Awakenings he is a meek loner doctor at a mental institution, and in Good Will he's a somewhat jaded, take-no-shit psychologist. I walked out of Saw in the theaters. Haven't given it a chance again.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Yegolev hasn't seen Good Will Hunting? How weird.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I didn't see anything in the trailer that appealed to me.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I like Robin Williams, especially when he goes all goofy and spazzy.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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Take Awakenings and Good Will Hunting, for example. Both are subdued doctor types, but really different, believable people.
One Hour Photo Insomnia I also thought Jakob The Liar was better than people said.
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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