All praise Tarvu

[DraconianOne]

Another "religion" for Germany to ban.

At least the recruitment video doesn't have Tom Cruise in it.

[climbjtree]

The stories about Tarvu read like a help file for a MUD religion.

[climbjtree]

Also:

Once you've finished reciting it[the Tarvu prayer] - that's it! You're a Tarvuist! It really is that simple.

Here it is:

Tarvu tarvooti,
Oboonoo cTooti,
Mimmin O'tibbi noonah,
Mdfitty fitty noonah,
Arvu immentiBarvu,
Tarvu.

(To be said when you wake up, go to bed, and after you have visited the toilet.)

[schild]

Awesome. Just awesome.

[DraconianOne]

And it's so easy to join.

[Tebonas]

I missed the parts about Brainwashing and threatening to kill former believers.

So why should this be banned?

[schild]

This is very obviously a farce of Scientology. And it's brilliant.

[Phildo]

Hebbo!

[Hawkbit]

I learned how to speak to an octopus.

rofl

[K9]

 

[Tebonas]

Don't you people listen to the Octopus Overlords! That way lies madness!

[raydeen]

I worship Zorak, the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse. "Lombaak ecree oplom ah-plee ozona ah-ah!"

[Merusk]

I worship Zorak, the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse. "Lombaak ecree oplom ah-plee ozona ah-ah!"

False believer! Zorak is a Mantis! I will see that you suffer the death of a thousand larvae!  Op eep ork ah ah!

[Ookii]

This is fucking gold, some choice lines from their FAQ:

* It is forbidden to eat calamari in any form. Or to drink sparkling water. Because the bubbles can often spell out blasphemous or rude phrases in Octish.

* Tarvuists are just like you and me, and wear whatever they want. However women tend to wear neck ties.

* In some cultures gay marriage is a new concept, in Tarvuism it has been going for thousands of years.

* Tarvuists preaches harmony between all religions (except Barvuism).

Apparently these are some tenats of Barvuism:

*Barvu is the true God
*One should not eat fruit or vegetables
*Water should be drunk with sugar in it
*When you die, Barvu makes love to you, and you bear his spirit children
*One should never give to charity
*One should never particpate in team sports
*Stealing is a virtue

Good stuff.

[Chenghiz]

All other gods are naught to the power of Vegetar!

[edit] Was that old guy the guy who plays Cavil on BSG?

[schild]

No, it's Vegeta with an R at the end. It's DBZr. Like web 2.0 DBZ.

[lamaros]

I'm normally pretty  about things like these, but their FAQ had some reasonable funny stuff in it. Worth a look and a giggle.

[FatuousTwat]

This is fucking gold, some choice lines from their FAQ:

* It is forbidden to eat calamari in any form. Or to drink sparkling water. Because the bubbles can often spell out blasphemous or rude phrases in Octish.

* Tarvuists are just like you and me, and wear whatever they want. However women tend to wear neck ties.

* In some cultures gay marriage is a new concept, in Tarvuism it has been going for thousands of years.

* Tarvuists preaches harmony between all religions (except Barvuism).

Apparently these are some tenats of Barvuism:

*Barvu is the true God
*One should not eat fruit or vegetables
*Water should be drunk with sugar in it
*When you die, Barvu makes love to you, and you bear his spirit children
*One should never give to charity
*One should never particpate in team sports
*Stealing is a virtue

Good stuff.

I guess I was a Barvuist and didn't know it.

[climbjtree]

Op eep ork ah ah!

Not to nitpick, but I believe it's Eep op ork ah ah.

And it means "I love you!"

[Falconeer]

I hate religions, all of them. But then again, I dislike people much more.

These morons prove my point about global vasectomy.

[DraconianOne]

I hate religions, all of them. But then again, I dislike people much more.

These morons prove my point about global vasectomy.

Wot?

[schild]

He thinks it's real. It's cute.

[Falconeer]

Human race sucks. Let's all quit.

Religions? They are all the same to me. Tarvuism is only slightly more amusing than any older, more popular, faith.

[Falconeer]

He thinks it's real. It's cute.

Hey. Do you think I read that page? I didn't spend 6 secs on it, just watched the pictures and laughed off. Props to the funny fake project. My hate points still stand.

[schild]

He thinks it's real. It's cute.

Hey. Do you think I read that page? I didn't spend 6 secs on it, just watched the pictures and laughed off. Props to the funny fake project. My hate points still stand.

You should look through the whole thing then. It's a pretty hilarious damning of scientology.

[Falconeer]

scientology.

 RAGE!




P.S: now that I know it's fake I'll definitely read it.

[DraconianOne]

P.S: now that I know it's fake I'll definitely read it.

You should do. It only takes 8 hours.





And it's so easy to join.

[schild]

And it's so easy to join.

It's SO easy to join.

[Phildo]

And it's so easy to join.

It's SO easy to join.

It's so EASY to join.

[Yegolev]

It's difficult to avoid joining.

[schild]

IT'S SO EASY TO JOIN.

[Phildo]

Είναι τόσο εύκολο να ενώσει

[schild]

這是很容易加入。

[Soln]

   
यह इतना में शामिल होने के लिए आसान है.

[climbjtree]

Настолько легко присоединиться!