f13.net forums - What GoDaddy Was Like (In Pictures)

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April 27, 2024, 04:57:41 PM

we're back, baby

So, I came across a handful of ...art (?) from my GoDaddy Days. Rather, about 6 months in, I started drawing customers in MS Paint because the job was so easy I could be on total cruise control. Most of the dialogue is real, and jesus, ugh, I hated that place. By the way, if you were wondering, THIS IS WHAT TECH SUPPORT IS LIKE. Anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

When schild turns into a rampaging serial killer after Nintendo releases the "Zii" in 2014 *still* without proper HDTV-support people will look back on these images and bemoan the fact that they didn't heed the warning signs at the time awesome, for real

Good stuff.

My job:

ME: Click here for the infos.
USER: Where are teh infos, on TV u said tehy would be on teh website. Liars. Im never watching ur network again.
FWD: I asked you on Friday to put the infos on the website, where are they?
ME: On the website.
FWD's BOSS: I am told by FWD that you have failed us yet again. Fix this.
ME: The infos are where it says "click here for the infos".
FWD: Can we change that to "click here to get infos"?

Great stuff, made me laugh.

Quote from: Tale on July 28, 2008, 03:52:01 AM

Yay, finally my turn to post this:

There should totally be a Picard face-palm stuck in there.

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Playing with kittens is all the job I can handle!

Subtract 50 IQ points from each caller and you have my experience at Nintendo summed up perfectly. I honestly was amazed some of those people could figure out how to dial the phone.

I love how schild's drawings become more harried and frenetically-drawn with each panel.

Working in a coffee shop is almost the same. Almost.

No no! They didn't become more crazy. I always tried to have them finished by the time I was off the phone. So I had to rush because my average call time was 6 minutes. That means some could take 30 minutes and some take 30 seconds. Six minutes is exceptional btw, if I were to wave my tech support e-peen.

GoDaddy is the same people behind secureserver.net right? Shittiest email blacklisters ever. They're made of fail.

Best feature - if you get blacklisted by them, you can't email their support department to discuss the issue, because they use their own blacklist even for the group that is in charge of taking people off of it. awesome, for real

But their wimmen folk are stroppy.

Quote from: Ingmar on July 28, 2008, 10:22:29 AM

Uhm. Not even. They use spamhaus. They can't really do anything because they literally can't really do anything. At the same time, all it takes is a button press. Problem is, GoDaddy is vindictive.

But then, f13 has been run off of godaddy for years and you know how many problems we've had? Basically zero. None that were their fault at least. Knowing people on the inside helps though.

Quote from: schild on July 28, 2008, 10:33:05 AM

Quote from: Ingmar on July 28, 2008, 10:22:29 AM

I had thought SecureServer was GoDaddy, but maybe not. We had a big problem with a trade org related to our company that hosts a site with them and with their email getting blacklisted, and all the support addresses you were supposed to followup with were @secureserver.net.

Secureserver.net is godaddy. Doesn't mean they directly decide who gets shut down for spam and blacklisting. And yes, you're supposed to go to unblock.secureserver.net.

Quote from: schild on July 28, 2008, 10:47:47 AM

Secureserver.net is godaddy. Doesn't mean they directly decide who gets shut down for spam and blacklisting. And yes, you're supposed to go to unblock.secureserver.net.

Point being, if you have a support group that exists at least partially in order to deal with unblocking people, it is pretty monumentally stupid to use addresses that are covered by the very blacklist people are trying to get off of. And yes, you do have to talk to them directly after using the form - I've dealt with them a couple times over this issue and they've sent email asking questions about the info entered on the form at unblock.secureserver.net, from addresses that use the same blacklist for protection. And no, you can't use the form there to reply, as they don't allow repeat entries there.

The entire unblock process is a terrible mess, and frankly, I wish they'd get their shit together on it. Now I see what you're talking about and I'm fully aware. I'll be honest, whenever I got people on the phone that were having that need unblock/have to use blocked email address - well, basically - I'd get you off the phone asap because you weren't worth money - in fact, negative money. I only speak candidly because my job, really, was sales. ^_^

Step 1 is just to realize blacklisting is a shitty way to deal with spam, step 2 is to contract your shit out to Postini or someone like that who knows what they're doing.

Actually Step 1 is get a server and run it yourself. Otherwise you're just pissing in the wind.

I want to use one of those for my avatar.

Call Center work will make you lose all faith in humanity. Its pretty funny training people up and watching them turn into bitter introverted people within the first 6 months. Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

Well, I was bitter going in. Knowing it was a commission based job, I had one concern. Sell as much as humanly possible.

My crowning achievement? I sold over $15k in platinum registration (now called protected registration) in 3 days. To one guy. Not kidding. If that's not enough to rattle your bones, I don't know what is. It's basically unheard of. Sure there are folks who buy 30-50k in new domains. But domains aren't worth jack to tech support. Sure, there's a bit of prestige in a big sale? But at the end of the day, it was about the paycheck. Always.

Memories. Dial-up tech support here at one point. Not to be insensitive but here goes anyway.

A bad day for me was trying to setup an "hearing impaired" person through a 3rd party onto the internet. I had to give up after two hours. Would of been great if I could do it, but some things are best done in person. ACK!

I got a call from my secretary today saying that a woman had called the office with what sounded like a virus, and did I want to take the service call? Well, it happened that she was only ten minutes away from where I already was, so despite the relatively late hour of the business day, I swung by to take a look. Upon arrival, I find two XP machines (yay, better than 98s), one running McAfee (ugh), sharing one phone cable for dial-up AOL (double ugh) and a toddler (shit). "My webpages don't load on the desktop." is the reported problem. So I sit down and start plucking spyware out of the computers.

While I'm doing this, the toddler blunders over to my toolbox and starts trying to open it. This isn't a matter of concern for me; it's a beefy plastic monstrosity with really secure clasps, so he really doesn't have a prayer of getting it open. As long as he doesn't manage to get it open and look like he's going to stab my screwdriver into his eye, I'm not gonna bring it up, 'cause it's safest to ignore pets and children when in somebody's home.

But mom notices his actions, runs over and grabs him. "Don't touch his stuff!" she admonishes the kid. She puts him back down, and he immediately turns back to my toolbox. Thus began two hours of hell.

Step 1. Child comes to toolbox.
Step 2. Mother runs over, grabs child, tells him to leave toolbox alone.
Step 3. Ten seconds pass.
Step 4. Child comes back to toolbox.
Step 5. Mother runs over, grabs child, smacks child, tells him, "This is the last time."
Step 6. Child, obviously not getting it, laughs and runs back for toolbox.
Step 7. Mother re-grabs child, re-smacks child.
Step 8. Child shrieks like banshee for a solid minute.
Step 9. Goto 1.

It's like the kid's memory was resetting every thirty seconds; he was clearly not catching on, trapped in a short and stupid rendition of Groundhog Day. Now add to this a backdrop of an absence of air conditioning on a 95-degree day, and soap operas and reality shows on the TV in the room.

Meanwhile, it turns out that mom's un-loading websites were actually the Java games on one of those vaguely-crappy free game websites. Thanks to the unimaginable speed that only AOL dialup can provide, I wind up downloading the Java installer on my phone to load on a memory card so I can actually get the thing on her computer. Games load, problem solved, get money, escape hellish home.

It almost ranks up there with the woman who called for help after hours one day. I told her that there was an additional fee involved for same-day service that late in the evening, what the service call would likely cost, and that if she didn't want the extra fee, I could come out the next morning to take care of it. She said it needed to be done that night, so I agreed, got in the car and headed towards her house. Halfway there, I get a call.

"Hi, you just got a call from my mom about a virus, and she said that there were all these extra fees, and we just don't think it's reasonable." (This is a grown guy's voice, not like a little kid despite the 'mom'. 'Mom' didn't sound elderly or anything, so guessing in his 20s.)
"Uh... huh. Well, I explained the costs to your mother, and she agreed to them."
"Well, you can still come tonight, but we're not paying extra for it." (Oh, how generous, allowing me to come fix their computer.)
"I'm sorry to hear that." (Already pulling the car over and turning around.)
"So are you coming tonight?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, what time can you come tomorrow?"
"I'm afraid we can't help you. I suggest you try the Geek Squad; you'll love their prices."

Not that corporate customers are any better. There is nothing worse than finding that the person in charge of a company's IT projects (ie, my liaison) is an imbecile. When they're your point of contact with a company, telling them that they're incompetent doesn't usually get good results.

"I was installing service pack 3 on Mary's computer, and it looked like it was frozen, so I rebooted it and now it won't start."
"Well, you destroyed her operating system. Good work."
"What, are you serious?"
"Yeah. That thing on her screen about not turning off the computer during the install wasn't there for looks."
"Well, what can you do about it?"
"Reinstall the whole thing."
"But she needs her computer working!"

This from their 'IT Manager'. Always a pleasure. This is a guy who bit the 'Mac vs. PC' ads hook, line, and sinker, and keeps buying Macs to replace PC workstations. Which would be dandy, except for Leopard's giant swath of flaws at connecting to Active Directory domains, which left all of those employees disconnected for the months it took Apple to patch the problems away. And the fact that the company's financial software was written for MS-DOS and refuses to run under emulation, requiring that they keep PC workstations running for everyone anyways.

God I love my field. Seriously, I think that if I stopped eating food, I could continue to exist solely on the schadenfreude.

Why do you go to people's houses if you have a secretary? Why don't you just send the secretary?

Quote from: Signe on July 31, 2008, 05:44:43 AM

Why do you go to people's houses if you have a secretary? Why don't you just send the secretary?

Ha! If she was the least bit competent at computer work, I would. She's just being paid to keep the shop staffed while I'm out on calls so people can pick up/drop off computers.

She must be very pretty.

If managers were competent at technical work, they would not be managers.

The best part of that video is how everyone is an imbecile. Worst part: chipmunk voices.

I thought the chipmunk voices added a bit of funny to it. Funny is subjective.