Penny Arcade story contest

[Kail]

So, Penny Arcade ran a contest where people sent in short stories... short as in "exactly ten words long."  Thought some of them were pretty funny.

BY THE POWER OF Ctrl+C!

Overlord Saurfang is only afraid of one thing... Mrs. Saurfang. - Minh Huynh
Naked they run, level 1 banks: Clark Kents of Azeroth. - Sam Kautzmann
The gunshot echoed like a ghost with nobody to haunt. - Dan Kaufman

The child had vaguely Tauren features. He left, saying nothing. - Colin Butler
"Stop making sound effects for spells," she said. "It's annoying." - Ryan Jurado

We received several entries that consisted of the same word, ten times. For spice, one reader sent us a mail with the word "pussy" entered nine times, followed by the word "vagina." I think he wanted to make sure we knew that he wasn't talking about cats.

“Capt. Dicks McBonerdong reporting, sir!” “What… class are you… exactly?” - Sylvester Rossi
My new spell is unstoppable. It's called, "Shit to death." - Super Jerms
He set his poop sock aside. Next: Cheetos and Dew. - Bill Coyle
Thrall stopped, sniffed, then gazed at the warlock, "Who sharded?" - Tnsyswonger

Patrons of all taverns knew well the hero's name: LleggolazXxX. - Bryan Climer
The softball game against Middle-Earth was canceled due to wyverns. - Dave 0
Another fallen foe, another silenced enemy. Jim Frobeard reflects. - Darth Gabby
I kill. But not for vengeance. For really neat pants. - Eric Westman
"You're a disgrace to Tauren culture," said the shaman Lolhamburger. - Erin
"Small trogg problem in Orgrimmar's basement." What an understatement, Thrall. - Claire Plouff
Once astride the mighty turtle her conquest began in earnest. - Andrew Snyder
"Bring my son," he croaked softly, "my... Tier 4 helm." - Adam
Adhemar grunted in frustrated anguish; this ruin, too, lacked bathrooms. - Adam Black
The duel was quick, the outcome certain. Kissybear fell, defeated. - Adam Gauntlett
Tipping his sombrero in salute, he dismounted his mechanical chicken. - Jared Klassen
You are not prepared!! Let Illidan's Tax service help you! - Don Lananty

Circle the Barrens, stalking your prey. Return to me. Repeat. - Dana Lacoste
WTB ninety days, eighteen hours of my life back PST - Chris Martin
I go fishing because Azeroth doesn't have enough repetitive shit. - Jeremy Murphy
In PVP Realms, if a player waves, I kill them. - (Also) Jeremy Murphy
A guilds eternal foe, neither Dragon nor Demon, but Drama. - Robert Uhi
“Killed by a raid,” Thrall’s sign said. “Back at 6.” - John Murphy
Cries notwithstanding, the thunderous pounding of feet was unmistakable: "Murlocs." - Jacob Weindling
"You wanna hang out tonight?", she asked. Can't. Too busy. - Chris Andersen

2.4: Lore? What? Elves change teams, join goats from space. - Eben LaPier
Where did all those level seventy horde hunters come from? - Will Russel
"Oh God," he thought. "Do I have Razorfen Downs syndrome?" - Caleb Brown
"Why can't you skin Taurens?" he asked innocently, "...or Humans?" - Brian Thomas

I don't play WoW, but I make chainmail for cats. - Montana Baker

[SurfD]

We received several entries that consisted of the same word, ten times. For spice, one reader sent us a mail with the word "pussy" entered nine times, followed by the word "vagina." I think he wanted to make sure we knew that he wasn't talking about cats.

Bah, they so could have done a comic for this one.  All they need is a pic of the Crazy Cat Lady in Goldshire.

[Righ]

Rather wordy. I don't think anybody is in danger of beating Colin Greenland's eight word masterpiece, 'Vintage micro-saga':

"Aliens disguised as typewriters? I've never heard such..."

Some of them were pretty good though. I had a friend on Earthen Ring who would stand in Orgrimmar (and other places) and repeat the word "vagina" over and over. He claimed it was his vagina monologue. My favorite was:

"You're a disgrace to Tauren culture," said the shaman Lolhamburger. - Erin