Love ludicrously lost: literacy lacking louts liberally lambasted... lol

[murdoc]

Ahhhh, thank you.  I knew there was something terribly wrong there but couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Maybe is was the fact that you actually thought that Steven Seagal had an original thought?

[Tale]

I'm not going to lie, sane is probably the most important. If you're just going for hot and smart, uh.... 

What the fuck? All the hot and smart ones are children?

Did we forget what pedobear was again?

He just missmilied.

He types a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if he missmilied, that was just a misemoticon.

He has been on message boards for many, many years, and this is something that he thinks happens to anybody.

[Merusk]

I never got why people seem always to be looking for partners that are like them. Why does a potential partner do have to like the same things I do? Some of my more close friends are not at all like me that's part of what makes the friendship interesting.

And to be frank a girl who is exactly like me would most probably be rather boring ;-)

Because you have to live with them.  I've lived with women who were opposite to me in many ways.  Note it's in the past-tense.  My wife is a geek like me, and it works well. Far fewer fights, and none of the "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! ONLY AN INSANE PERSON WOULD DO THAT!" kind. 

Children multiply the above by about 20x. Yeah, it's fun to live with an 'opposite' until the day a kid breaks something/ writes on the walls and the two of you have vastly different reactions. Heh.

[stray]

Heh. Wait, wait.. I thought you've said before that you met your wife when she was young and impressionable, and just groomed her to be like you over time? 


Anyhow, I like opposites. Not too much -- I mean, I can't date a total square. Then again, maybe even that is fair game too. That lawyer chick is pretty square actually. As far as specific details go though, like "books" --- ?!!! No, that's positively insane. Like I said, if I were to be picky about anything like that, it'd be music, but I'm not even that. Half of the girls I date hardly like any rock at all. A lot of them know next to nothing from a musician's point of view either. And as far as "general classications" go, like "geek", "artist", or whatever -- I don't know what those mean. They don't really tell me anything about a person. I certainly don't fall under a category at least -- maybe that's my "match" or something: An unclassifiable, well rounded chameleon. 


I'm not doubting your wisdom about kids though. I don't have any, and perhaps you're right.

[Samwise]

He just missmilied.

He types a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if he missmilied, that was just a misemoticon.

He has been on message boards for many, many years, and this is something that he thinks happens to anybody.

A few years ago I'd have read that as a Reagan joke.

How far we've fallen.

[Calantus]

I'm not going to lie, sane is probably the most important. If you're just going for hot and smart, uh.... 

What the fuck? All the hot and smart ones are children?

Did we forget what pedobear was again?

I clearly know what pedobear is/what it is used for, asshat. 

So feisty at work today, schildy :P

I take it you missed the epic diet thread? :P

[Lantyssa]

I never got why people seem always to be looking for partners that are like them. Why does a potential partner do have to like the same things I do? Some of my more close friends are not at all like me that's part of what makes the friendship interesting.

And to be frank a girl who is exactly like me would most probably be rather boring ;-)

An exact copy won't work.  Too many differences and things fall apart because you have no common interests.

What I find best are some commonalities to let us relate to one another, some differences to spice things up, and lots of complimentary traits to mesh it all together.  I'll let you know when I find the one...

[Merusk]

Heh. Wait, wait.. I thought you've said before that you met your wife when she was young and impressionable, and just groomed her to be like you over time? 

I did.  That statement doesn't conflict with the above in the least.

[Llava]

I never got why people seem always to be looking for partners that are like them. Why does a potential partner do have to like the same things I do? Some of my more close friends are not at all like me that's part of what makes the friendship interesting.

And to be frank a girl who is exactly like me would most probably be rather boring ;-)

An exact copy won't work.  Too many differences and things fall apart because you have no common interests.

What I find best are some commonalities to let us relate to one another, some differences to spice things up, and lots of complimentary traits to mesh it all together.  I'll let you know when I find the one...

There are two types of things you can have in common: values and interests.

Someone with whom you have interests in common may be deceptively attractive, because you'll think to yourself "A girl I can PvP with!" or something equally inane.

At the same time, that can distract you from the fact that you have no values in common.  Values are the thing you need to have in common if it's going to work.  Interests I would say it's actually better not to share, because you can each learn from the other and remain engaged.

Of course, belittling the other's interests is a no-no.

That's my view.

[stray]

What do you mean by values? Like work ethic or thriftiness? Please don't say religion.

[Llava]

Religion counts depending on how strict each person is.  Two people could have wildly varying views, but if each is the "eh, to each his own" type then it doesn't really matter.  But I won't be getting married to any hardcore religious types, being a hardcore atheist.  We won't get along for long.  Hell, I'm atheist to a fault, where I have a hard time not rolling my eyes at essentially harmless new age stuff.  Any girl who's going to be with me for long is either going to be a skeptic herself or be very frustrated (along with me).

Work ethic too, because that affects things like how clean your place is- and how much you care.  Bills getting paid on time.  How long it takes to replace a burnt out light bulb.

Views toward sex and intimacy.  37?!  The rule is to not ask, but I've found that, even when you don't ask, subjects come up and stories are shared.  While you may never have an exact number, you may learn something that leads you to anxiety about the number.  Plenty of people don't care.  Plenty of people do.

Arguing and your tantrum threshold.  If you're the type of person who never really gets angry about things, you're going to have a hard time being with someone who freaks out over small shit.  Double trouble if you're not the type to yell but your partner is.  Communication during an argument goes from difficult to completely impossible.

CHILDREN. Want 'em? Think they're cute? Can tolerate them?

Taste in music?  Movies?  Books?  It's a distraction.  It's easier to get to know those people, it's easier to talk to them.  That's why they seem attractive.  But it says very little about them as people.  That's what I've learned.

To give an example: the girl I have a crush on right now.  Yeah she likes bands that I loathe (Modest Mouse, yech), and I like bands that make her homicidal (I don't get how you could NOT like Cradle of Filth... well, yeah, okay, I get it) and our personal styles are completely different, she's not a gamer at all, I don't know the first thing about cooking (seriously, I managed to set my fire alarm off while cooking rice- that's fucking talent).  But she's completely my type on the things that matter.  She's enraged at historical inaccuracies in movies, she shares my stuck-up conservative views on sex, wants no children ever, and just asked me for some tips on the paper she's writing about how religion impeded the progress of western civilization from the 16th-19th centuries.  She's amazing.

[stray]

Cool. I hear ya. Anger/stress levels are definitely important. That hits home. I definitely can't be with nitpicky, angry, people. I do like tough girls though. But they're not the same thing as a whining bitch, if you know what I mean.

Religion: Even though I'm open-minded to anyone's beliefs, I'm not very open-minded to any kind of hardcore stance (be it religious or atheist).

Work ethic: Honestly, I like slackers. Not slobs, just a little slack. Unfortunately, I don't live in Austin anymore. That place is comprised of nothing but this specific type of person. 

[edit] I think that I could get really specific and just say that I like barmaids... Who are better at math and money than me (they usually are). Possibly working towards an Accounting degree even. Heh. They're always hot, able to kick ass, hard workers - yet not extreme go getters, usually have some good taste in music, and about as open-minded as it gets.

Unfortunately, they are by far the hardest women for even the most suave dude to read or ask out. None of the standard rules apply. Not for fools or the weak of heart.

[Llava]

Yeah, I fell in love with that city over the couple days being there for GDC.  I'd love to live there.

But yeah, last girl I was with was the sort to feel that my particular brand of hardcore skepticism was too extreme.  She used the old "just as fundamentalist as the blah blah blah" thing on me and I knew it was over.  Well, I knew it was over before that (in fact, most of the examples I give for how those values may differ come from that relationship), but it didn't help.  I'm open for debate on my beliefs, but tired and invalid tu quoque arguments aren't the way to go to impress me.

[Engels]

To give an example: the girl I have a crush on right now.  Yeah she likes bands that I loathe (Modest Mouse, yech), and I like bands that make her homicidal (I don't get how you could NOT like Cradle of Filth... well, yeah, okay, I get it) and our personal styles are completely different, she's not a gamer at all, I don't know the first thing about cooking (seriously, I managed to set my fire alarm off while cooking rice- that's fucking talent).  But she's completely my type on the things that matter.  She's enraged at historical inaccuracies in movies, she shares my stuck-up conservative views on sex, wants no children ever, and just asked me for some tips on the paper she's writing about how religion impeded the progress of western civilization from the 16th-19th centuries.  She's amazing.

A little off topic, but why in heaven's name haven't you asked her on a date yet? Kids these days, I tell ya.,

[cmlancas]

Llava, did you refer her to Said's Orientalism writings?

:D Just got done reading it on Wednesday :P

[Llava]

A little off topic, but why in heaven's name haven't you asked her on a date yet? Kids these days, I tell ya.,

I did.  It's complicated.

(Like she's 6 years younger than me, attending college on the other side of the state, and is my best friend's younger sister complicated.  So, for now at the very least, it's incredibly impractical.  I'm just not doing a very good job of setting the crush aside for now.)

[Llava]

Llava, did you refer her to Said's Orientalism writings?

:D Just got done reading it on Wednesday :P

Nope, I'm not familiar with that.  What's the name of the book? I'll check it out.

I told her about the burning of Reginald Scot's books (the ones saying "Witchcraft is a myth"), the positions of the founding fathers on religion (like how they repeatedly shot down attempts to put God in the Constitution, or how John Adams specifically said in the Treaty of Tripoli that America is not a Christian nation, or any of a number of pieces by Jefferson or Franklin directly attacking organized religion), and the persecution of Thomas Paine leading to his dying essentially alone and forgotten after writing possibly the single most important piece of work of his century, an arguably any following century in which America plays a significant role.

[stray]

You don't set the crush aside. You find another. Voila.

[Llava]

You say tomato.

[stray]

I mean it's impossible to set a crush aside. Just find another girl. 

[lamaros]

Nope, I'm not familiar with that.  What's the name of the book? I'll check it out.

Edward W. Said, Orientalism, 1978. 

http://www.amazon.com/Orientalism-Penguin-Modern-Classics-Edward/dp/0141187425/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207361234&sr=8-1

Also by the same author: 'Orientalism Reconsidered' in Francis Barker (et al), Europe and Its Others, vol 1, University of Essex, Colchester, 1985.

[Lantyssa]

(Like she's 6 years younger than me, attending college on the other side of the state, and is my best friend's younger sister complicated.  So, for now at the very least, it's incredibly impractical.  I'm just not doing a very good job of setting the crush aside for now.)

Good luck with it.  I've kinda got a crush on someone perfect for me, but it's a dead end with her being straight and all.

[Llava]

I mean it's impossible to set a crush aside. Just find another girl. 

Oh well yeah.  I'm certainly not shooting down any prospects on the off chance that she says, "Hey, I'm 20 and want to get involved in a really complicated, high-stakes relationship!!"  I'm a romantic, but also a realist.

[Engels]

I mean it's impossible to set a crush aside. Just find another girl. 

Oh well yeah.  I'm certainly not shooting down any prospects on the off chance that she says, "Hey, I'm 20 and want to get involved in a really complicated, high-stakes relationship!!"  I'm a romantic, but also a realist.

She's 20? Well, keep her on the back burner for another 6 years. She might be worth investing time into then. Girls and boys that age need to get their yayas out, and its generally adviseable not to be the one providing said yayas unless you're pretty much willing to accept that it won't last long.

[Llava]

I'd agree, except that I wasn't one of those and she has the exact same views as me on relationships/sex.  But don't get me wrong, I've certainly considered that and am keeping it in mind.  But really, this is all moot for at least the next two years, perhaps forever.