Ironwood

[Abagadro]

Where the hell is that surly bastard? He's been AWOL for nearly 5 weeks. I hope everything is okay.

[Miasma]

I asked a couple times too and either no one knows or no one is answering.

[Signe]

I think he became annoyed and he buggered off.   That's what I think. 

OR something ate him.

[Tebonas]

My theory is still that the Secret Forum collective hit him over the head with a shovel and buried him behind the shed. Of course, it is curious that you said something ate him. Is he to be the main ingredient in VLs new repice? YOU MONSTERS!

[Miasma]

I just want to know if he disappeared without a word, said goodbye in the sekrit place or got into a fight in the sekrit place and said fuck this.

Although the Tebonas theory is intriguing, that's twice Signe has come out explicitly stating that she "doesn't know", I think that she should be put at the top of any murder/consumption suspects list.  I can see it now - there's a dark alley somewhere in Phoenix leading to the secret f13 brotherhood's coven.  Ironwood comes walking down in the standard f13 branded cloak with the cowl pulled up to conceal his face.  He artfully dodges the pitfalls, pressure traps and poison barbed nets which once served to defend against f13's enemies like corp (enemies which have all been destroyed now by the way).  He gives the secret knock (set to the tune of something by Uematsu) and the door opens.  Another cowled figure greats him with the hand signal, he passes both the door's threshold and the guard, lowers his cowl and bang - blunt force trauma to the back of the head.  A female voice quietly gives a satisfied laugh and drops the iron bust of Mario, cracking the marble floor.  She tries to pick him up so that he can be dragged down one of the side passages, never to be seen again.  Another secret knock, panic, she doesn't have time to dispose of the body and in her haste she forgot to bar the door.  She quickly kneels down by the body, takes off her cowl and pretends to sob, seeing if he's okay.  The door flings open to a third cowled figure who pauses upon surveying the scene.

She says "Quick, help, it's Ironwood.  He was good enough to relieve me as entrance sentry so that I could I play my bought in the Street Fighter IV round robin and when I came back... this.".

The newcomer lowers his cowl and asks "Signe, what really happened".

"Oh thank God its you Righ, we must hurry".

[Miasma]

Hmm, that last bit almost turned it into f13 fanfic, gross.

[Paelos]

He didn't say goodbye in any of the secret places I have access to. He simply left.

From what I can gather he stayed too long at the party in the politics forum and it finally proved too much for him. So, when things didn't go his way he simply backed off an stopped posting. As odd as that sounds, that's my interpretation of what I've read.

Let this be a lesson to you kids. Politics kills faster than crack.

[Signe]

He might have fallen in a hole.

[Cheddar]

If its over the row in politics something needs to be done.  I doubt that is the reason, though.


Ironwood is a big boy and can take care of himself.  I miss him.   

[Selby]

If its over the row in politics something needs to be done.

Never underestimate the power of political views to turn the best of friends into the worst of enemies.  Which is why I don't visit the political forum or talk politics with anyone I know, I'd rather still somewhat like\respect people rather than not.

[Reg]

I bet that the decades of pot smoking finally caught up with him.

[Strazos]

Hmm, that last bit almost turned it into f13 fanfic, gross.

Heh, agreed.

[Ookii]

You'll know why he's gone soon enough.

[NowhereMan]

 

[stray]

If he doesn't come back soon, someone needs to take it upon themself to insult all of us with one line quips in every one of their posts. One or two word quips even. 

[edit] I really don't think it's anything to do with this site. His skin is too thick for that. Must be something else in the "real world". Hope the guy's OK.

[Signe]

Everything I don't say to all of you could be said in two words.  If I wanted to say them, that is.  Which I don't.  (yet)

[Triforcer]

None of these cryptic comments are filling me with confidence.  I just hope everything is ok.

[Cheddar]

You'll know why he's gone soon enough.

This sounds ominous.  WHATS GOING ON???

[NiX]

We, the secret forum, have decided it best to wait until the great Lord Schildius decree it be heard.



Edit: Fixed it so people don't take me seriously. We all know nothing.

[Abagadro]

This does not bode well. Get on with it already.

[Margalis]

If you don't know just say so, but please no cryptic BS. I'm looking at you Ookii.

[Merusk]

They're trying to craft a message brilliant enough to not cause a mass exodus and outcry when they announce they banned Ironwood. 


Really, I hope he's good.

[Calantus]

The pessimist in me is telling me that the only thing Ironwood cares for more than snarky oneliners is his family and so something probably happened to one of them.

[Llava]

The optimist in me is telling me that the only thing Ironwood cares for more than snarky oneliners is his family and so he decided to spend more time with them.

[Paelos]

Dash?

[schild]

I just got back from what could be called "The Longest Weekend of My Life."

No one knows for sure where Ironwood went. I assumed he left because I told him to stop peddling cryptic bullshit when he was trying to be subtle about asking Dash to be banned.

As we know, politics is a cesspit free for all (with no safe pve-zones). And the only reason people have gotten banned in the past is because everyone else, ahem, not the poster himself, but everyone else makes the thread about them. See: Geldon, Hyu, and Bruce. Now, Dash is just a political ninny who fancies himself smart. Those other guys were a different story that didn't keep their shit contained in the Thunderdome. Dash does, so I refused to ban him. That's why that "Dash" thread appeared.

But as time goes on, I'm beginning to think Ironwood isn't a big enough pussy to leave over something like that. As such, I hope everything is fine with his family as that's the only other thing I can think of that would make him disappear.

Anyway, yea, there's what's going on. The fate of the private forums and politics itself (since it is a giant shithole) will be decided by me sometime over the next few weeks. Odds are I'm going to keep politics open though because, well, it's an election year and I don't want a million threads made by amateur pundits in gen disc.

[Signe]

So, as far as you know, he fell in a hole.

[schild]

Correct.

[bhodi]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ironwood pajamas.
They once made a Ironwood toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Ironwood frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Ironwood.
Ironwoods' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Ironwood played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Ironwood does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Ironwood is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Ironwood counted to infinity - twice.
If you can see Ironwood, he can see you. If you can't see Ironwood you may be only seconds away from death.
Ironwood has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

[schild]

There are 1,371 objects in this room Ironwood can kill you with.

Including the room itself.

[Triforcer]

Google detectiving leads me to believe he is, at least, personally alive and on the Internet in other places.  Beyond that, I hope everything and everyone else in his personal life is good.

[Abagadro]

If that idiot Dash led to Ironwood leaving here in whatever circuitous way, that is a real shame.

[Miasma]

I sincerely doubt a little punk like Dash could have personally driven Ironwood away but on top of everything else he might have tipped the scales between "I like reading/posting there" and "Why do I still log into a place that I no longer enjoy, fuck that".

[Oban]

Maybe he finally beat F13 on hardcore mode.

Few reasons to play again once you reach the cap.

[Venkman]

Tier 1 endgame is when the game actually begins though!