f13.net EPYC, Volume 1 RESULTS

[lesion]

Credits
TEAM MUKLUK - Illustrations
Roster: Viin, NiX, Sauced, Prospero, WayAbvPar, bhodi, Rendakor
TEAM FAIRBANKS - Captions
Roster: Abagadro, Montague, lamaros, IainC, schild, Soukyan, Samwise
Click images for full-size versions (if they exist).

The story began with Sauced making doo-doo in his immune system, so I sent the following words to NiX to illustrate:
Its gestures confused us, but we were pretty sure it had something to do with making everything taste like bacon.

He replied with:


Which prompted the following from lamaros:
All started well for Terrance as he delivered the sacrifice to the appointed lamppost. But he lingered too long before the eyes of the omnivorous gods...

This was met, in turn, with a cryptic scrying of doom from bhodi:


Despite running for his life Abagadro managed to choke out:
While Cletus at first thought he had conclusive proof of extra-terrestrials, upon further review the evidence did not hold up.

This innocuous death rattle led to the production of Rendakor's not-so-innocuous image:


Montague, seeing a vision of his own death, jotted down his feelings on the matter...using his own blood:
A drunk rancher claims that aliens mutilated a cow, but his friends are convinced that he shot the cow in a drunken rage.

With such a straightforward description Prospero girded his loins and prompted an entire parallel universe of Bush jokes:


Soukyan caught the subtle imagery and conjured up the following:
"... and there was this shiny disc, and Bessie just rose in to the light," exclaimed George, but he had a nagging thought that the moonshine and Dick might have had something to do with it.

Moonshine and Dick couldn't scare off Viin, probably because he is 110% MAN:


IainC spent several sleep-deprived days developing the response, but QA was so tight that it didn't have to be patched until Vista:
'Pull!' Shouted Billy-Jo-Jim-Bob to the mothership above his wife-cousin's pasture.

Having recovered from the precipice of hard death, which is so much worse than regular death, Sauced belted out the following with fury:


Reeling from the handcrafted sack-punching, Samwise whispered the following while sweating profusely:
I don't care how purty his mouth were, papa-brother.  That there's the last time we ever call a Martian mohel.

WayAbvPar, cajoled into action by an unscrupulous Jew, reached deep within himself and pulled this out:


Unable to restrain his rage, schild unleashed the following stream of bits right onto my face.
Elaine, I got us these blue hats because Jews wear sweet blue hats like this to a bris. It's the only kind of hat to wear. And we don't want to look like pussies, because well, we're not. We're tough motherfuckers. And this toothpick and these Nazi suspenders will show people who's who in town. In fact, the first thing I'm going to do when I get there is beat the hell out of the mohel and take his place. We'll see if the honorable father of the house has any problem with me taking a chop at his days' old baby with a machete. The best part, I think, will be that I'm going to do it all in an Irish accent. No one will remember which way is up. I'm going to shatter minds, Elaine. But I'm not going to be able to focus on that until you tell me why you took the hair off my bathroom floor and turned it into a beard. That's disgusting. Seriously. It's unsanitary. Why would you do that? And what's up with that amished up ponytail of yours? If you were going for the orthodox angle, the least you could've done was just gotten the sideburns right. But you can't even do that. How many times have I told you that The Fiddler On the Roof is gospel in these matters.

And another thing, you remember how a few minutes ago I mentioned these sweet blue hats? I was lying. Did you really think these were a good idea? We're going to get the shit beat out of us. By people with replacement hips and phony Long Island accents. Well, I might not because of these kickass suspenders. But when they start in on you, I'm going to come in wailing. You know why? Because you were the weakest link in MY SHOW for 7 years. Other than that tiny story arc where you dated Putty, your face read failure. You know why people didn't like this show? It wasn't me. I'm hilarious. That's right, it was you Elaine. And it's only fitting that you've covered your face with my chest hair. I think it's a step up.

Did I ever tell you the story about the 8 year old and the zen master? You see, the zen master would never cut his hair. But when he started balding, the boy went around and collected it all. And one Halloween, the boy dressed up as the zen master. Using his hair. And you know what that zen master did to the little boy, Elaine? Do you. He killed him.

By bludgeoning him to death with a cauldron.

We never found out what happened to the zen master after that.

And all we wanted to ask was, “Hey, zen master, what's up with that cauldron? How did you get it all the way up this mountain? That seems like a lot of work.”

[Trippy]

You might want to explain what the game is for the lazy.

[lesion]

I don't want to. It is a total mystery (but involves making pictures and writing). The faithful will be rewarded with imaginary riches.

[schild]

I would be happy to be the oddman out used for autobalance.

[WayAbvPar]

Can this wait until Wednesday? I am intrigued, but reluctant to join, since I won't be perusing the forums until after the 4 day weekend (WOOOT).

[schild]

Probably won't be starting til after New Years.

[lesion]

There's no set date really, just say you're interested.

[Signe]

WHAT?

[Abagadro]

Count me in for Fairbanks since I have no artistic talent whatsoever. You might want to consider going to 13 or 15 players since an odd number tends to work better as it can end on a sentence.


EDIT: Oh and I should point out I can't access from work any more because of a filter on "games" sites so if the hope is to have rapid responses I wouldn't be a good player and should probably skip it.

[Samwise]

I don't know what's going on here but I'm so in.

[Ookii]

OKAY PEOPLE, GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND.

The first player begins by writing any sentence or phrase they wish, though bizarre or surreal offerings are generally preferred. The next player attempts to come up with an illustration that represents the sentence. The paper is folded over so that only the picture can be seen, then passed to the next player, who attempts to formulate a caption for the illustration. Usually there are some restrictions on what can appear in the illustration — alphanumerics are commonly forbidden — to ensure that the third player cannot easily replicate the original sentence. Once the third player has captioned the illustration, the paper is folded over so that only the caption can be seen, and passed to the next player.

The pattern continues until the game ends. There are a few different opinions as to when the game should end, but it should always end on a sentence, not an illustration, making the preferable group size an odd number if the game ends when every player has had a turn. Another variant holds that the game ends only when the entire sheet of paper is filled, and that for a longer game, two or more sheets of paper should be taped together at the start of the game. However, when the paper is passed around the group for several cycles, players may tend to draw on their own earlier contributions when creating new ones.

So I guess this is kind of fun, not sure how you're supposed to come up with the second description out of the blue when the previous person posted the basis of the illustration.

[Montague]

As a resident of Alaska I find your choice of team names insulting.

Monetary recompense will assuage my tears however.

Edit - I guess I'm in for Team Fairbanks. I can't draw worth cat poop.

[lesion]

It's so fun you'll puke. I'm using slightly modified rules.

Also: being bad at drawing is usually a plus. Cleverer makes betterer.

[Prospero]

Sounds like fun. I'm in.

[Soukyan]

Count me in. Drop my name in the pseudo-random team assignment generator. Danke.

[Yoru]

I'm not in, because, you know, being eccentric and different and shit.

... shut the fuck up, Donny.

[bhodi]

Yeah OK. I'll do it, but I can't promise any funny-business.

[Viin]

I'll play, I like to drawer.

[lamaros]

Call me in Fairbanks please.

Unless my Australian timezone thing is going to fuck with things.

[lesion]

It's more of a play-by-email deal, only with more board PMs and less attacking cities.

If anyone has posted something that doesn't explicitly state in-ness but still wants to participate now would be a good time to clarify.

[NiX]

Mukluk me!

[Rendakor]

Is it too late to get in on this? I'd like to, this sounds but

[lesion]

Still open. It's updated in butt-time.

[Sauced]

I'll be a drawin' type person.

[IainC]

Put me down for Fairbanks. I can't guarantee hilarity but I'll give this a go.

[lesion]

It doesn't have to be funny, not everything has to be funny, THERE IS NO PRESSURE EVERYTHING IS CALM

Sauced is up first. Check your board messages.

[Sauced]

I still have family in town and a totally awesome head cold.  Maybe I could go later.  Great first impression, I know.

[Soukyan]

THERE IS NO PRESSURE EVERYTHING IS CALM

[Cheddar]

What is the response time required on this?  And do I need to be sober to play?

[schild]

It's one of those things that if you disappear for a week without responding, it's akin to kinda fucking the game.

[Cheddar]

It's one of those things that if you disappear for a week without responding, it's akin to kinda fucking the game.

OK, I will be in.  Just wanted to make sure there was not a 12 hour limit; I will respond within 24 hours.

[schild]

Other than the fact the teams are full ^_^ should've mentioned that,

[Cheddar]

Other than the fact the teams are full ^_^ should've mentioned that,

Oh.  Nevermind then.  Carry on!

[Signe]

The gingers and the fat girls never get picked. 

[Yegolev]

I'll say.