Survivor Man/ Man vs. Wild

[Slayerik]

All I know is you throw Bear and Les into a cage fight, Bear's gonna stomp a mudhole in Les

And then he'll drink his own piss just to show you how badass he is. Again.

[dusematic]

*repeats what he said but louder*

I'm sorry you can't handle being called on your bullshit.  If you want to call Bear out, there's plenty of legit things to call him out on.  Like the time he drank his own pee.  Didn't anyone notice like the two unnecessary swigs he took?  I mean, he took two big gulps.  Then the next two only really wet his lips, like he just wanted to savor the taste.

[Mazakiel]

Listen, you don't know the history of Bear Grylls, I do. 

[dusematic]

This isn't about Bear anymore, it's about America. So stop this dalliance and pick a side!  WE'RE AT WAR.

[Yegolev]

RAWR

I didn't see the episode where he drank his own piss, just the one where he pissed on his shirt and wrapped it around his head, as far as urine-based entertainment goes.  YOU MUST BE LYING!  I MUST USE ALL CAPS!  But good call, the man is a shock-entertainer and perhaps a lunatic.  Also note that he could be considered a terrist for wrapping his head up in a turban.

There was an episode where he boiled water in a can, using a fire he made all by himself, I swear to Norm Abrams.  It wasn't in Alaska, I didn't see the Alaska episode.  Pretty sure it was Costa Rica.  I don't want to have to find an episode guide for a show I hate just to prove one of us wrong.

As for Les, I will need to watch some Survivorman before I will put money on a fight.  I'm not saying Bear isn't a tough guy, despite the accent and mincing, and he looks like he's rather strong.  If the contest was who could eat the most disgusting things, I am sure Bear would win.

[dusematic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

[Yegolev]

Are you saying Bear would eat that kid raw before retiring to the Motel Six?

[Slayerik]

From Bear's Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Grylls

Grylls first entered the record books in 1997 by being the youngest Briton to summit Ama Dablam in the Himalayas, a peak famously described by Sir Edmund Hillary as "unclimbable".

Then in 1998, Grylls broke another record of becoming the youngest Briton, at 23, to summit Mount Everest. Both these achievements are made even more remarkable by the fact that a mere two years earlier he almost severed his spinal cord in a near fatal parachuting accident in Africa.[6]

On a recent interview with David Letterman (June 2007) Letterman calls him "The youngest Briton to summit Everest" and Bear corrects him by saying another man did it the following year but died on the way down, and regardless of his death it has become this man's record.

In 2000 Grylls led the first team to circumnavigate the UK on personal watercraft, to raise money for the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) Lifeboats. Three years later he led a team of five British men on the first unassisted crossing of the north Atlantic Arctic Ocean, in an open rigid inflatable boat. The team was hampered by giant waves, icebergs and storms.

In 2005 Grylls led the first team ever to attempt to paramotor over the remote jungle plateaux of the Angel Falls in Venezuela. The team was attempting to reach the highest, most remote high tepuis, made famous by Conan Doyle's Lost World.

In 2007 Grylls broke a new world record by flying a petrol-powered paraglider over the Himalayas, higher than Mount Everest. He had to cope with temperatures of -60C and dangerously low oxygen levels to reach 29,500 feet, almost 10,000 feet higher than the previous record of 20,019 feet.[7] The expedition raised $1 million for the charity Global Angels. Grylls described the expedition, filmed for a 2 hour film for Discovery Channel worldwide as well as Channel 4 in the UK, as "the hairiest, most frightening thing" he had ever done.[8]





Les:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Stroud

Lets just say he's a big ole hippy!

[Slayerik]

Oh, and is it just me or is Bear working just a little too hard on getting the "Sir" on his name ;)

[dusematic]

But seriously, who would win in a fight?

[Yegolev]

Oh, and is it just me or is Bear working just a little too hard on getting the "Sir" on his name ;)

Yeah, see, that's what I'm bitching about.  Next you'll be defending Mother Teresa.

[Slayerik]

But seriously, who would win in a fight?

Military
Grylls passed UK Special Forces Selection, serving as a Sabre soldier, trained in unarmed combat, desert and winter warfare, combat survival, medics, parachuting, signals, evasive driving, climbing and explosives.

He served for 3 years in 21 SAS, one of two Territorial Army regiments in the Special Air Service referred to as the "SAS(R)". 21 SAS specializes in Close Target Reconnaissance and attack(CTR). During his time with 21 SAS Grylls served actively in North Africa twice. His military career ended abruptly, however, in 1996, when a routine parachute exercise in southern Africa went wrong[citation needed]. His canopy ripped severely and caused him to spiral towards earth from 16,000ft at twice the normal speed, leaving him with three broken vertebrae and left him struggling to feel his legs.[1] Grylls spent the next 12 months in rehabilitation and, with his military career over, directed his efforts into trying to get well enough to fulfill his childhood dream of climbing Everest.

Grylls no longer serves in the British Special Forces but he was awarded the honorary rank of Lieutenant Commander in the UK's Royal Naval Reserve.[2]





Too bad you cant outrun em Les!!!

[Yegolev]

Don't forget Bear's Motivational Speaker skills.  He has +1 to bullshit.  Les is just too fucking real.

[Slayerik]

Biography
After graduating from Mimico High School in 1980,[3] Stroud went on to complete the Music Industry Arts program at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario.[4] Stroud worked for several years at the Toronto-based music video channel MuchMusic, and as a songwriter for his band New Regime before a Temagami canoe trip sparked a career change.[1] In 1987 Stroud became a guide for Black Feather Wilderness Adventures leading canoe excursions into the northern Ontario wilds. It was during this time on a survival course he met his wife, photographer Sue Jamison.[2] They married in 1994 and together left for a year-long honeymoon in the remote Wabakimi area of Ontario which was to become the basis of the documentary Snowshoes and Solitude. Afterwards, Stroud and Jamison settled in Huntsville, Ontario, and started the outdoor instructional outfit Wilderness Voice and the media company Wilderness Spirit Productions.[4] Inspired by the popularity of the television show Survivor, Stroud pitched a more authentic version of the show to The Discovery Channel Canada. Stroud produced two programs titled One Week in the Wilderness and Winter in the Wilderness for @discovery.ca in 2001.[5] The success of these specials led to the development of his current show Survivorman which follows a similar format, leaving Stroud on his own, with minimal equipment, in the wilderness to film his survival experience.

Stroud has extensive experience with survival and primitive living skills initially training with experts Gino Ferri and David Arama.[6][7] He went on to study with many others including at Prairie Wolf.

Stroud has been an active participant in adventure racing and has competed at the Canadian championships.[6]



Les has a course on Hippy Lifestyle 101

(my parents were hippies and i was kind of a young version of one, I just like throwing the term around)

[Yegolev]

So, you're saying in a "make a survival TV show" fight, Les would win?

[Morat20]

Actually, I thought I read that Les (Suriverman) has a safety crew hanging around just in case. They stay out of the shots and aren't interative with him at all (whereas Grylls interacts with his crew all the time -- they're just not supposed to help), but they are there.

Discovery is re-editing some old episodes of MvW to point out where Grylls did things like wore a life-jacket in heavy rapids or had a climbing harness in case of falls. They didn't make it clear at the time, but it never occured to me that it wasn't done.

I suspect a few of the encounters are at least marginally staged (it's hard to tell -- out of, say, 4 days of footage you're going to have plenty of interesting moments. But on the other hand, what if one thing you DO want to show is "How to handle quicksand" or "How to cook sheep using hot springs", that there's going to be someone looking for hot springs, quicksand, or dead sheep....).

If nothing else, Bear is clean-shaven throughout the whole show. So he's obviously being handed a razor. :) I've seen stills of him talking to his camera crew (one from Ecuador was pretty cool -- Grylls is in his regular clothes, and the cameraman is encased from head to toe in protective clothing -- including mosquito netting). Of course, that was the espiode where Grylls got sick as shit from bad water.

Yegolev: I wouldn't rag on him for being a motivational speaker. The man broke his back, then went on to Climb Everest. He seems constantly optimistic, does a lot of charity work, and really loves the outdoors. If I'm going to have to sit through an inspirational speech, I'd rather it be from someone like him. He's at least overcome adversity and done challenging shit in life.

[Yegolev]

Like I said, I'm willing to change my mind after I meet him.  Maybe he's a cool guy but he seems more like a politician's son out to promote himself.  I promise I won't attack him on sight.

[Slayerik]

The way Les explains it on his show, is that they have a safety crew that will come find him after 7 days. The recent one I saw when he was at sea on a life raft, they had a safety boat usually within visual (or high powered VHF radio) range.

Guess it all depends on the circumstances.

Honestly, the more I think about it...I do like Bear Survival over Les. Les gets all hippy and is like "oh you should never kill shit, but im surviving" and Bear is just like... "Damn, can a nigga get some squirrel meat ?"

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

[Yegolev]

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

Sounds like you are agreeing with me on the technical aspects of this discussion.  HEY LOOK DUSE!  HE'S ON MY SIDE AND I'M USING ALL CAPS AGAIN!

[Morat20]

The way Les explains it on his show, is that they have a safety crew that will come find him after 7 days. The recent one I saw when he was at sea on a life raft, they had a safety boat usually within visual (or high powered VHF radio) range.

Guess it all depends on the circumstances.

Honestly, the more I think about it...I do like Bear Survival over Les. Les gets all hippy and is like "oh you should never kill shit, but im surviving" and Bear is just like... "Damn, can a nigga get some squirrel meat ?"

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

I dunno. Les just seems to sit there and wait a lot, or gets lazy about getting out. Bear has a much more "I'm getting myself out" attitude. On the one hand -- that's not what you really need to do unless where you are isn't surviveable. On the other hand, it's a hell of a lot more fun to watch Bear and if you're going to try to walk out -- his is the way to do it.

It was interesting reading a friend of mine's Air Force survival booklet (talks about shelters, how to navigate without a compass, how to create fire, etc) and seeing virtually everything Bear talks about that isn't local (and the local stuff is obviously from the local survival guide they credit).

[Slayerik]

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

Sounds like you are agreeing with me on the technical aspects of this discussion.  HEY LOOK DUSE!  HE'S ON MY SIDE AND I'M USING ALL CAPS AGAIN!

But Bear still is a survivin' mother fucka

[dusematic]

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

Sounds like you are agreeing with me on the technical aspects of this discussion.  HEY LOOK DUSE!  HE'S ON MY SIDE AND I'M USING ALL CAPS AGAIN!

Wow you really can't handle being this wrong can you?  A bigger man would just admit he didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and then thank me for educating him.

[Morat20]

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

Sounds like you are agreeing with me on the technical aspects of this discussion.  HEY LOOK DUSE!  HE'S ON MY SIDE AND I'M USING ALL CAPS AGAIN!

But Bear still is a survivin' mother fucka

Hell, it's worth it just to watch him climb stuff. He's not a small man, and watching him climb is amazing. He doesn't do anything too technically difficult, but he's very smooth and obviously very practiced. He makes it look effortless. Of course, watching him demonstrate that self-arrest procedure in the Alps was crazy shit. (As was jumping into the ice lake later). You could seem him visibly psyching himself up to do both.

Also, his accent cracks me up -- "Vitamin" and "disorientated" crack me up. "Glacier"t oo.

[HAMMER FRENZY]

Yes yes....This is shaping up quite nicely....

[Murgos]

Yes yes....This is shaping up quite nicely....

I'm not sure I understand the merits of the debate, I think it could use a chart. 

[Big Gulp]

Yeg, are you honestly watching these shows for a firm education in what to do if you're stuck in Kenya/New Guinea/Alaska?  If so, why?  And frankly if that is your motivation there are these things called books that'll serve your purpose much better.

In the meantime I can either watch a Canadian musician/granola fanatic who largely sits in one place for days on end or a former SAS trooper climb shit and scavenge zebra meat.  No contest.

[Murgos]

Yeg, are you honestly watching these shows for a firm education in what to do if you're stuck in Kenya/New Guinea/Alaska? 

I was stuck in Kenya once.  I managed to get over the sheer horror of my predicament by having a stiff drink before hitting the tables at the casino.

If you want, I can give lessons on how to survive at a 4 star beach resort on the Indian ocean armed with nothing but a pair of swim trunks, some sun tan lotion and a room key.

Hint:  The room key is very important, it provides sustenance and shelter.

[Morat20]

Yeg, are you honestly watching these shows for a firm education in what to do if you're stuck in Kenya/New Guinea/Alaska?  If so, why?  And frankly if that is your motivation there are these things called books that'll serve your purpose much better.

In the meantime I can either watch a Canadian musician/granola fanatic who largely sits in one place for days on end or a former SAS trooper climb shit and scavenge zebra meat.  No contest.

I don't think I ever saw the Survivorman guy nearly as pissing himself nervous as Bear was in the Everglades.  Either that, or Bear's a great actor at faking fear of crocodiles. (It was hilarious. I can't imagine how long it took him off camera to psych himself up to swim that little river. He was nervous as shit about the crocodiles).

Not that I blame him. Those things are fucking fast.

Want a survival hint if a crocodile is looking at you like you're dinner? Climb a fucking tree. They can outrun you, they can outswim you, but those damn things can't climb.

[Yegolev]

Wow you really can't handle being this wrong can you?  A bigger man would just admit he didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and then thank me for educating him.

I am awesome, however I am not able to whip out a chart this close to end-of-business.  It would have at least one bar with letters on it that said "it waaaasn't the Aaaalaaaskaaa episooooode".  The legend at the bottom would contain the word "cocklips".

@ Big Gulp... no.  I would check into the Motel Six and stay there.  I'm not up for that stuff as recreation.  If I wanted to learn to survive in the woods, I wouldn't rush to the television.  Or internet.  I'd cast a suspicous eye toward books that weren't military issue.  In reality, I'm of the Murgos School of Survival.

No need to fear crocodiles in Florida.  The alligators are pretty rough, though.  I hear that they cannot zig-zag, so if my wife and I are ever pursued by one then we will find out.  She is the zig-zagger and I am the tree-climber.  I am also the stay-out-of-the fucking-waterer.

[Morat20]

No need to fear crocodiles in Florida.  The alligators are pretty rough, though.  I hear that they cannot zig-zag, so if my wife and I are ever pursued by one then we will find out.  She is the zig-zagger and I am the tree-climber.  I am also the stay-out-of-the fucking-waterer.

They hang out in the brush, too. Depends on how hot it is outside. Frankly, if you're within a mile or two of slow water, you should be watching.

And they can zig-zag -- or rather, they're flexible enough that they'll just keep going straight and snap their jaws around your legs as you attempt to zag. I believe they can clock in at about 40mph when they feel like moving. They are far, far, FAR faster than most people can possibly imagine.

[Kitsune]

I think it was about six months ago when some idiot boy scout decided he didn't like camping, was going to hitchhike fifty miles to home, grabbed a can of Pringles and set off in a random direction in the middle of the mountains.  I was sad that they found him alive. 

The rage is hiding the sarcasm, but I hope it's there and that you're not honestly that big of a jackass.  He was 12.  What the fuck are you on about?

No, I don't actually want the stupid kid to be dead.  But I am holding out hope that the rescue team will band together and collectively backhand some sense into him.  I make no claim of having been a paragon of wisdom at twelve, but I still knew better than to a: wander off into the wilderness with no more supplies than potato chips and expect to find a road, then b: hitchhike with a stranger in the hope of making it back home, fifty miles away.

[Yegolev]

Saw one on a golf course once, soaking up the sun.  I was like "Just leave that ball!" but the girl was intent on getting it.  Not my wife, though, she would have sent me after it.  But yeah, when they want to they can lift up off the ground and haul ass.  Best to avoid Florida as a whole, really.  I saw how scared Bear was, but in my opinion he wasn't scared enough if he was really doing what he appeared to be doing in the Everglades.  Pretty entertaining, though.

You know what would make me like the show?  Adding pop-ups like from Pop-Up Video that give some facts as to what is going on and in particular the hidden details they didn't want to show.  I need more exposition.

[Morat20]

Saw one on a golf course once, soaking up the sun.  I was like "Just leave that ball!" but the girl was intent on getting it.  Not my wife, though, she would have sent me after it.  But yeah, when they want to they can lift up off the ground and haul ass.  Best to avoid Florida as a whole, really.  I saw how scared Bear was, but in my opinion he wasn't scared enough if he was really doing what he appeared to be doing in the Everglades.  Pretty entertaining, though.

You know what would make me like the show?  Adding pop-ups like from Pop-Up Video that give some facts as to what is going on and in particular the hidden details they didn't want to show.  I need more exposition.

Hell, they should just do a "Making of" episode. They have all the footage (including still frames -- I've seen some) and all they need is some voice over work and studio interviews with the Bear and the crew.

[Yegolev]

I am happy that someone understands what I am complaining about.  Did you know that I have a complex when it comes to being misunderstood?

I feel at peace with this topic now.

[Murgos]

I make no claim of having been a paragon of wisdom at twelve, but I still knew better than to a: wander off into the wilderness with no more supplies than potato chips and expect to find a road, then b: hitchhike with a stranger in the hope of making it back home, fifty miles away.

Reminds me of a joke I heard.  Truly once of the most awful jokes I've ever heard, so I absolutely must share it.

A pedophile and a 12 year old walk into the wilderness.  The 12 year old says, "Boy, it sure is scary in these dark woods!" and the pedophile reply's, "You're scared?  I have to walk out of here alone!"