Survivor Man/ Man vs. Wild

[HAMMER FRENZY]

I have been watching these shows a lot lately. I don't watch too much TV but I find myself always catching these shows. Anyone else enjoy these? I actually like Survivor Man a lot, I am not too wild about Man vs. Wild, but I still watch it if it is on. I think that Bear Grill ( the Man vs. Wild guy) is a little on the extreme side. I just don't see my self ever being airlifted to the top of a volcano and them jumping off and having to make my way back down... Maybe it's just me, but the stuff in Survival Man Just seems more useful/practical.

Discuss. 

[Yegolev]

Oh, fucking Jesus H. Christo on a cracker, I hate Man vs Wild.  That is a lying ass bastard, that Bear Grylls.  No fucking way is that show real and they don't even really try to make it believeable.  I watch it just hoping that nut-barber will have a serious injury but due to the total faked-rigged-bullshitness there just isn't any way.  I want to kick Bear in the baaaaaalls.  He's the king of lying douchebags.  I couldn't shake enough fists at him if I was fucking Shiva.  I'M NOT A GOD-DAMNED IMBECILE, I KNOW YOU ARE LYING AND THE SHOW IS FAAAAAAAAKE!

[MrHat]

Wasn't there an article basically saying that even though he eats bugs and raw stuff, he sleeps in hotels by night?

[Yegolev]

I don't need no fucking article to tell me that.

http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSN2934925920070730

[MrHat]

The rage is epic Yegolev.  There is much untapped hate here.

[Flood]

Ditto all sentiments.  I don't watch much TV but I do love me some Discovery Channel.  Out of MvW and Survivor Man, SM wins hands down.  I watch them both, but MvW it's blatantly obvious he has a camera man tailing him.  It could be wishful thinking but I think the Survivor Man guy is out there solo.  Plus as previously mentioned he just has a lot more neato/useful info about survival, as opposed to the wanna-be commando info Bear spouts.

Funny someone mentioned this as it annoys the shit out of me too.  Hurry up and let Myth Busters come on already.

[Slayerik]

I like both the shows. I give Survivorman props for haulin' his camera shit around with him. Everything is different when you are out there truely alone.

Bear would like to believe that the fatasses on the couch watching could do and spider climb up a 50 ft. crevace. He's always do some dumb shit that would get you killed or maimed if you screwed it up. It seems like Les is a lot more chill, takes his time and does stuff right.

[Yegolev]

See, Bear does dumb shit like get a can of water from a running stream and boil it for safety, then he catches a fish from the same stream and just bites into it raw.  Dumbass, you just wasted your time and effort boiling the water.

There's also the notion that he can start raging forest fires with mere friction and a smirk, while the MythBusters couldn't do that using a power drill.  I'm not saying that the MythBusters are right all the time, but there were using a power drill, for fuck's sake.

[HAMMER FRENZY]

Ha, yeah I can definitely say that Survivor Man is 100% real, not only that, he tapes, edits his show by himself and he does the music for the show himself as well.

[Yegolev]

Well, fuck, I need to watch that show.

Sort of.  Lots of video games to play.

[Big Gulp]

Ha, yeah I can definitely say that Survivor Man is 100% real, not only that, he tapes, edits his show by himself and he does the music for the show himself as well.

I've also heard that he makes his own camera film from tree bark and road kill!

[Murgos]

I like Survivor Man.  I mean, whats better than watching a Canadian hick starve slowly over several days?  Les admits to carrying a sat radio with him and not really being out of touch with his crew which is never that far away though.

As far as I know Bear has always admitted to having a camera crew with him and the small print at the end of the show always mentions the local survival expert they used so I never really expected MvW to be as 'serious' as SM.

[kaid]

My problem with man vs wild is half the crap he does if you were really in a desperate situation would be about the last thing you would really want to try. Almost every episode he does something very stupid that could easily get you a broken leg/killed for no reason. Some times if you are really stuck out in the wild you do have to take chances but you don't do so stupidly and you avoid them until there are no other options.

[Merusk]

There's also the notion that he can start raging forest fires with mere friction and a smirk, while the MythBusters couldn't do that using a power drill.  I'm not saying that the MythBusters are right all the time, but there were using a power drill, for fuck's sake.

Mythbusters suck at building fires, that's all. They had a hard time with flint & steel, too if I remember.  Really, it's shit I did at the age of 12 as does anyone whose ever been in Boy Scouts for longer than a few weeks.

Les on Survivorman went over exactly how you need to do it the other day.  It's time consuming and ALL of the skill comes in at keeping that smoke in your tinder going and building it up to a flame. The powerdrill does nothing but generate the friction, which is the easy (albeit labor intensive) part.

As far as I know Bear has always admitted to having a camera crew with him and the small print at the end of the show always mentions the local survival expert they used so I never really expected MvW to be as 'serious' as SM.

Yes. They even say in the show's opening credits that it's him with a camera crew.  It's edutainment, it's not supposed to be serious information.  It's kind of like bitching that Dogfights glosses over a lot of shit and doesn't really teach you anything.

[schild]

GuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuys

Top Chef.

[stray]

I don't have any hate for Bear Grylls -- I think the dude is the shit -- but Survivorman is the better show imo.

[Daeven]

See, Bear does dumb shit like get a can of water from a running stream and boil it for safety, then he catches a fish from the same stream and just bites into it raw.  Dumbass, you just wasted your time and effort boiling the water.

You know? That's just funny as hell right there. Maybe we could do a reality series based on the follow up episodes: Man vs. Dysentry.

[dusematic]

Oh, fucking Jesus H. Christo on a cracker, I hate Man vs Wild.  That is a lying ass bastard, that Bear Grylls.  No fucking way is that show real and they don't even really try to make it believeable.  I watch it just hoping that nut-barber will have a serious injury but due to the total faked-rigged-bullshitness there just isn't any way.  I want to kick Bear in the baaaaaalls.  He's the king of lying douchebags.  I couldn't shake enough fists at him if I was fucking Shiva.  I'M NOT A GOD-DAMNED IMBECILE, I KNOW YOU ARE LYING AND THE SHOW IS FAAAAAAAAKE!

Dude what the hell are you talking about?  He always says in the show that he's got a camera crew following him.  I hope you're joking with the over the top rage at Bear Grylls.  I mean Christ, it's one of the best shows on TV.  Survivor Man is clearly better, because that dude carries his own camera equipment and is really alone.  But Bear Grylls is a fucking animal right down to his name.  We're talking about a guy who jumps into quicksand just to show people how to get out.  A guy who intentionally broke through a hole in the ice so he would fall in, just to show people how to escape, and then avoid hypothermia.  This dude has eaten sheep's eyeballs, maggots, and quenches his thirst with his own urine if need be.  He rode the fucking Amazon River rapids holding on to a log. 


And the raw salmon he ate was in Alaska.  Ever heard of sushi?  I think Alaskan rivers are pretty kosher dude, I don't know, I'm not an expert or anything.  Just a hunch.  Basically you just called your whole life into question.  You can't seriously make a claim that he's anything but a real ass dude.

[dusematic]

See, Bear does dumb shit like get a can of water from a running stream and boil it for safety, then he catches a fish from the same stream and just bites into it raw.  Dumbass, you just wasted your time and effort boiling the water.

You know? That's just funny as hell right there. Maybe we could do a reality series based on the follow up episodes: Man vs. Dysentry.

He didn't boil water in that episode.  So it's not that funny.  But let's say he did for giggles.  Then we could all realize the premise of the show is survival techniques in the wild, and we could all take a deep breath and let our assholes unpucker.

[Big Gulp]

He didn't boil water in that episode.  So it's not that funny.  But let's say he did for giggles.  Then we could all realize the premise of the show is survival techniques in the wild, and we could all take a deep breath and let our assholes unpucker.

Yep.  You've gotta respect a dude who'll squeeze a hunk of elephant shit to drink the water contained in it.  I might do it if I were actually in a survival situation, but when you've got a camera crew following you and you know you're in zero danger?  That takes some stones.

[dusematic]

There's also the notion that he can start raging forest fires with mere friction and a smirk

If you don't think it's possible for a professional to start a friction fire without flint and steel then you're crazy, and survival shows probably aren't for you anyway.

[Kitsune]

Salmon is edible raw because it's a saltwater fish that occasionally passes through a freshwater river, not because any given river is pure.  Any fish that spends all of its time in freshwater must be cooked if the person doing the eating doesn't want a shot at collecting some parasites.

Sadly, given that the real key to staying alive if you wind up fucked and in the middle of nowhere is to stay calm and not take any risks, any show that tries to make wilderness survival look exciting is imparting the exact opposite advice.  When something as simple as falling in a creek can have you dead of hypothermia in your wet clothes, trying to earn points for being cool is remarkably unwise.  Stay put and wait to be found; you can live for a few days without food or water, but you can't live if you pick the wrong thing to eat or drink.  Better to be found half-dead of starvation after a week than all-dead of eating the wrong mushroom 'cause you thought you were nature man.  If you somehow manage to be well and truly screwed with no hope at all of rescue, sure, try some My Side of the Mountain stuff, might get lucky.  But otherwise, your odds are improved much more by a rescue team looking for you than by eating grubs.

[dusematic]

Nobody is watching the show because they want a primer on wilderness survival bro.  People watch it because they want to see Bear be one of the most awesome people ever.  And if you actually watched the show, you'd know Bear generally steers clear of mushrooms because of the exact risk you just mentioned.  If he wants dinner he usually does something manly like find a stick and throw it at a rabbit's skull.


Edit:  I can't even fucking believe you just tried to scold Man vs. Wild with a stern admonition against leading impressionable young viewers astray from the correct survival protocol.  What in God's name have you done with your balls?

[Roac]

Oh, fucking Jesus H. Christo on a cracker, I hate Man vs Wild.  That is a lying ass bastard, that Bear Grylls.  No fucking way is that show real and they don't even really try to make it believeable.  I watch it just hoping that nut-barber will have a serious injury but due to the total faked-rigged-bullshitness there just isn't any way.  I want to kick Bear in the baaaaaalls.  He's the king of lying douchebags.  I couldn't shake enough fists at him if I was fucking Shiva.  I'M NOT A GOD-DAMNED IMBECILE, I KNOW YOU ARE LYING AND THE SHOW IS FAAAAAAAAKE!

Dude.  TV Is Not Real.

Anyway, as stated the show states he has a camera crew with him at the start of every show.  It's also apparently false that he only uses his crew for "emergencies", but whatever.  It's entertaining, and he is a real survivalist.  He climed fucking Everest.  Close enough.

[Kitsune]

I have a stern admonition against leading people astray from the correct survival protocol because too many people are fucking retarded about it as it is.  I think it was about six months ago when some idiot boy scout decided he didn't like camping, was going to hitchhike fifty miles to home, grabbed a can of Pringles and set off in a random direction in the middle of the mountains.  I was sad that they found him alive.  You'll hear people with straight faces telling old-wives shit like 'moss only grows on the north side of trees' or 'running water always leads to a town'.

Back when I was a kid in the scouts, I went up to Maine in one of the two big scout camps, where you paddle your way around a huge lake for about fifty miles and camp on the various islands in it as you go.  The group I was with were primarily all eagle scouts (the highest rank, for anyone who doesn't know/care), while I was one of the lowest ranks.  The eagle scouts were a pack of morons.  They couldn't build a fire, didn't secure their packs to keep their gear dry, put their sleeping bags ON the fire to try to dry them out, had their food eaten by small red squirrels when they didn't store it right, and would've drank lake water unboiled if the guide hadn't stopped them.  Then, while one of them was trying to untie wet ropes from the canoe one afternoon, he got the brilliant idea to cut the knot, whereupon the knife slipped right off the wet knot and went into his thumb.  We then got to abort the whole thing and paddle like hell through an entire day to get this douchebag to the nearest place that an ambulance could access.

So, having seen firsthand the skills of people who had (in theory) been through real instruction on how not to die in the wilderness, I cry a little inside at the thought of what someone would do with nothing more than what they saw ol' Bear try to do on the Discovery channel.

[Murgos]

Meh.

There is a quote I read somewhere from Bear Grylls that goes something like, "It's TELEVISION.  In a real survival situation you hunker down and don't move."

But whatever, continue on your crusade to save the stupid from themselves even though by your own stated experience the stupid will ALWAYS be stupid and are incapable of being saved.

Alongside balloonist and mountaineer David Hempleman-Adams, Bear Grylls created a world record for the highest ever open-air formal dinner party, which they did under a hot air balloon at 25,000 feet, dressed in full mess kit and oxygen masks. This was in aid of the Duke of Edinburgh Awards Charity.

Yeah.

[Yegolev]

He didn't boil water in that episode.

Wrong episode, douchetorch.  I think it was in Costa Rica when he did that.

My problem is that the show is presented a certain way, like he's showing me something edutaining, but he forgets the edu- part and just does the -tainment.  Even if he didn't tell me that he has a camera crew, it's easy to spot and I find the whole execution combined with the premise to be patronizing.  I just can't trust the information he gives me when I know he sleeps in motels during shooting.

The show should be called Man Eats Wild, since that's really the main attraction there.  Side attractions are him pissing on himself and doing stupid shit just so he can show what a badass he is.

I'll give on the flint-fire part, the guy knows what he is doing.  I saw him start a fire without flint once, but with the cutaways and suspicion that his cameraman had a lighter, I have a hard time falling for it completely.  He made up for it by eating some grubs or something, but I keep thinking that if he's able to start fires so easily then why doesn't he cook his food more often?  WHY GOD, WHY?

If I ever meet Bear Grylls and he turns out to be a cool guy, I'll retract this, but if he wanted me to like him more then he would make a better effort with his television show.

[Murgos]

My problem is that the show is presented a certain way, like he's showing me something edutaining, but he forgets the edu- part and just does the -tainment.  Even if he didn't tell me that he has a camera crew, it's easy to spot and I find the whole execution combined with the premise to be patronizing.  I just can't trust the information he gives me when I know he sleeps in motels during shooting.

I think your expectations are what's out of line.  What the hell does, "Even if he didn't tell me that he has a camera crew, it's easy to spot..." mean in the context of your rant?

That he should be hiding that he has a camera crew by pretending to be holding the camera in ever shot?  He has a crew with him, he states that in the show and, as you said, it's obvious.  The man stands in quciksand, shows you that struggling just gets you deeper and then proceeds to demonstrate to spread your body weight over the surface and get out.

What the hell else do you want him to do?  Die and be resurrected?

[Yegolev]

Just the first part.  Anyway, if I did not state it properly, my problem with the show is how it strikes me, the general execution and how the things he does irritate me.  I don't like it and it doesn't have much to do with logic or whatever you are using to argue with me.  He's telling me what I should do when I am stuck in the woods, then he proceeds to boil some water and eat a raw fish from the same stream.  I just don't like that.  I'm not questioning this guy's ability to forage or sleep between fires, I'm sure he's a badass if you want to use that scale, it's just that I don't believe what he's telling me and he is couching it as if it was true.

[Roac]

I have a stern admonition against leading people astray from the correct survival protocol because too many people are fucking retarded about it as it is. 

Check your own mental acumen if you honestly think a 30 minute video is going to help people survive.  If it were a strict educational vid, 1) no one would watch and 2) the one guy who it might've helped wouldn't remember what was on it after months/years.  The series is a lot of neat mcguyver stuff you *could* do if you were out there and knew the ropes, not what you should do.  Anyone who confuses the two 3) is likely to not fare well in the wild regardless.

I think it was about six months ago when some idiot boy scout decided he didn't like camping, was going to hitchhike fifty miles to home, grabbed a can of Pringles and set off in a random direction in the middle of the mountains.  I was sad that they found him alive. 

The rage is hiding the sarcasm, but I hope it's there and that you're not honestly that big of a jackass.  He was 12.  What the fuck are you on about?

[Slayerik]

Just the first part.  Anyway, if I did not state it properly, my problem with the show is how it strikes me, the general execution and how the things he does irritate me.  I don't like it and it doesn't have much to do with logic or whatever you are using to argue with me.  He's telling me what I should do when I am stuck in the woods, then he proceeds to boil some water and eat a raw fish from the same stream.  I just don't like that.  I'm not questioning this guy's ability to forage or sleep between fires, I'm sure he's a badass if you want to use that scale, it's just that I don't believe what he's telling me and he is couching it as if it was true.

Here's an idea Yegs, turn the channel. For not liking the guy you sure know everything he's done in the past 2 years.

The show is very entertaining. Moreso than Survivorman. I DVR them both, and Survivorman has more parts where I wanna just fast forward, even though he is a real deal survivalist. So is Bear. Fuck it.

[Bunk]

This thread is reminding me of the old Bob Villa vs. "A person that Actually knows How to use a Hammer" arguments of ten years ago.

Very funny stuff, please continue all of you.

[dusematic]

Just the first part.  Anyway, if I did not state it properly, my problem with the show is how it strikes me, the general execution and how the things he does irritate me.  I don't like it and it doesn't have much to do with logic or whatever you are using to argue with me.  He's telling me what I should do when I am stuck in the woods, then he proceeds to boil some water and eat a raw fish from the same stream.  I just don't like that.  I'm not questioning this guy's ability to forage or sleep between fires, I'm sure he's a badass if you want to use that scale, it's just that I don't believe what he's telling me and he is couching it as if it was true.

HE DOESN'T FUCKING BOIL WATER AND EAT A RAW FISH FROM THE SAME STREAM YOU FUCKTARD.  WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.  HE ATE A RAW FISH ONCE IN ALASKA.  HE DID NOT BOIL WATER IN THAT EPISODE.  THE END.

[Yegolev]

Very funny stuff, please continue all of you.

My pleasure.

Here's an idea Yegs, turn the channel.

Never!

*repeats what he said but louder*

*repeats what he said but louder*

[Bunk]

HE DOESN'T FUCKING BOIL WATER AND EAT A RAW FISH FROM THE SAME STREAM YOU FUCKTARD.  WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.  HE ATE A RAW FISH ONCE IN ALASKA.  HE DID NOT BOIL WATER IN THAT EPISODE.  THE END.

That's even more disturbing when it appears that its Tom Cruise yelling at you (well, not me directly, but you all know what I mean).

Oh, and Sushi chefs always freeze fish before serving it for a reason.