Glasgow Renovations

[Ironwood]

2000 quid worth of improvements.

How odd.

[Etro]

wee bit of sawdust and it will be right as reign

[Righ]

Fuckers. Now I have to listen to Americans on CNN pronounce Glasgow and rhyme it with cow.

[Ironwood]

Send them an E-mail and tell them that a similar thing happend in Milngavie.

Sure, it's not true, but it'll be funny as fuck.

[Signe]

Cops should have kissed the bastards really hard.  It makes me really nervous when people muck around with airports I actually have to use sometimes. 

[Merusk]

Can't flip past a news station without hearing about terrorist attacks on the UK and what it means for the US.  Are we safe? No, and here's 300 talking heads to tell us we're all going to die!

Wheee.

[Endie]

As a resident of Edinburgh, I fully endorse this act of terrorism.

The incompetence of this and the last tranche of attacks is staggering, though: let's just stick lots of things that burn together and they'll surely make an even bigger bang!  I expect the next attack will feature a car packed with firelighters, wood, coal and diesel.

[Oban]

As a resident of Edinburgh, I fully endorse this act of terrorism.

The incompetence of this and the last tranche of attacks is staggering, though: let's just stick lots of things that burn together and they'll surely make an even bigger bang!  I expect the next attack will feature a car packed with firelighters, wood, coal and diesel.

Ah yes, I can see it now...

Brother, have you ever seen what a single Mento does to a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi?  Now, imagine what a whole truck full of Mentos and Pepsi bottles would do!

[Signe]

I have a craving for pop rocks and coke, now.  Not a craving I can satisfy, either.   

[Tale]

At least we can have confidence that Glasgow's underground rail system is well prepared for emergencies.

But on a serious note - reports are now saying there were three people in the car, one of whom was dead inside it, and one of whom was on fire when he got out. He was apparently wearing some kind of device. An eyewitness I heard on radio thought Molotov cocktails may have been involved. So it sounds like they had an accident with their arsenal while trying to attack the airport, killing one and setting another alight, weakening their attack. Doesn't sound like they were intending the "stuff that burns" to be a car bomb, probably more like three guys throwing Molotov cocktails around the terminal.

[Righ]

Send them an E-mail and tell them that a similar thing happend in Milngavie.

Sure, it's not true, but it'll be funny as fuck.

Excellent idea.  :-D Perhaps we could start a campaign and have them talk about Culzean, Strathaven, Anstruther and Kirkcudbright too.

Tale - nice movie. Here's the old subway in pictures, before it became the clockwork orange.

[schild]

I've never heard anyone say Glasgow with the emphasis on the gow part.

But then, I don't watch the news.

[Strazos]

I thought it was GLASZ-go

[Samwise]

Just imagine Groundskeeper Willie saying it.

[Endie]

Just imagine Groundskeeper Willie saying it.

Groundskeeper Willie is - and I am pretty serious here - a brilliant character to have as our representative in popular culture.  He saves classes of schoolchildren by ripping off his top and wrestling lions into submission.  He doesn't wander round in a methadone haze (for all that the drug thing did no harm to Ewan MacGregor) nor is he often seen drunk and begging for change in Kings Cross station.  We should be paying Matt Groening a stipend from the tourist board.

And in comedy-pronounced-by-foreigners place names we are small-fry compared with Wales.  Machrihanish is as a mere bagatelle to a people who call their towns Llanymddyfri and Ystradgynlais.  That's why Wales has never been, nor will it ever be, attacked by Al Quaida.  They would never be able to agree on where the left the cache of arms.  Which is a shame, as it would finally garner them some mainstream popularity in middle-classed England.  Boom-tish.

I await Draconian's rebuttal.  Maybe in his weird moon-language.

[Oban]

I still laugh when I think about the conductor on the local train from Glasgow saying Troon in his thick accent. 

[Simond]

I'm surprised anyone noticed one more burning car on the streets of Glasgow, tbh.

[Yegolev]

The article doesn't explain what the point to blowing up the Glasgow airport would be.  I suspect Chinese Fire Drill gone horribry wrong.

[Ironwood]

Clearly to prevent my brother from returning home from Canada.

Alas, it didn't work.  He got in this morning, delayed and annoyed, but whole.

Try harder pls.

[Righ]

The article doesn't explain what the point to blowing up the Glasgow airport would be.  I suspect Chinese Fire Drill gone horribry wrong.

With UK prices being what they are, they probably didn't have enough petrol money to send the car all the way to London. They'd have attacked the local Paisley industry, but decided that it was doing just fine destroying itself.

[Triforcer]

I'm always thankful that in "most" terrorist attacks in the West, the perpetrators are the kids that ate their own boogers in the corner of the madrassa while even the other fanatics called them losers. 

[Sky]

Glass goo?

[Furiously]

I was more of a Glues go.

[Krakrok]

Interesting opinion piece from an 'ex-fanatic'.

[Stephen Zepp]

Interesting opinion piece from an 'ex-fanatic'.

Nice find.

[Righ]

Nice name. He writes well, which I suppose is to be expected since in his former role he was allegedly a recruiter and propagandist rather than a foot soldier. His story has taken quite a few turns over the years (his utterances are easy to find... nice name), and skeptics might suppose that he's actually an attention seeker looking for an audience. However, its equally likely that he was offered a deal for his continued freedom.

However, I did find this interesting piece - an excerpt from a New Statesman (left wing rag that has become mere regurgitation of New Labour talking points under its most recent editor) article:

Yet British Islamists target other countries. Why? According to Sifaoui, it has long been recognised by the British Islamists, by the British government and by UK intelligence agencies, that as long as Britain guarantees a degree of freedom to the likes of Hassan Butt, the terrorist strikes will continue to be planned within the borders of the UK but will not occur here.

So the coincidence of Islamic bombings in Britain and Hassan Butt telling Islamic terrorists to lay down their arms may be connected on more than one level.

[Ironwood]

I wish people would stop calling it a terror attack.  We've been more scared of a bunch of harcore Springburn neds on a Saturday night.  Two guys who manage to Ghandi themselves do not really cut the mustard.

[Endie]

I wish people would stop calling it a terror attack.  We've been more scared of a bunch of harcore Springburn neds on a Saturday night.  Two guys who manage to Ghandi themselves do not really cut the mustard.

This.  I mean, I don't know if you got the interviews with bystanders outside of Scotland, or if they were meaningless without subtitles, but the reaction of those nearby was a mixture of "git the cunt!" and "film wur man gittin' the cunt!"  There was a multi-car pile-up in south-east England at about the same time, in which one person was killed and a couple of dozen injured, and one of my mates immediately pointed out that that mattered more than some incompetent twat parking badly, setting his hair on fire and geting punched a bit.

[Ironwood]

E-Mail already doing the rounds of Scottish Businesses :

Glasgow v America

 If this had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow

Eyewitness accounts.

 
America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about,  i just ran for my life. I thought i was gonna die, he got so close to me"

Glasgow "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"

 
America: " I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow: " here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin'  plane!"

 
America: " there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was happening thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow :"F*ck this fir a kerry oan, moan we ll get a pint in"

 
America: " We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran for my life"

Glasgow :"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"

 
America: there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow: " There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis like that"

 
America: " I'm too traumatized even to speak, I thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow "here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"

 

& finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........john smeaton (these are real)

John just surpassed himself on the National ITV new.

The interviewer asked

"What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is Glasgow we'll just set about you"

John done an interview on cnn and they asked how he restrained the guy and he said "me and other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him" !

[Luxor]

Did you see the baggage handler guy interviewed by the media about the attacks? 'This is Glasgow, we'll set about ye'

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cCqprbH7mrg&NR=1

be interested to know if any of our american friends can understand a word he says :)

[Ironwood]

Indeed, He's mentioned above.

The Man In Question.

I understand that CNN subtitled the interview.

[Endie]

The Smeatmeister has his own fan website already.

"As I steered the JohnSmeaton.com close support vehicle off the M8, I was greeted by the sight of the Holiday Inn. It might look like a shitey concrete block to you, but to the Smeatonator it’s gonna be like Sodom and Gomorrah in there – especially given how many ladies are now popping a pint behind the bar for their hero."

[Ironwood]

Heh.


On a not so funny note, there are semiautomatic weapons in Glasgow Queen Street.  Sure, they're in the hands of the Police, but I saw a couple of Brazilian Electricians looking apprehensive.

[Luxor]

Think we could slip the cops a tenner and they can take out the emo goths on the gallery/borders steps?

[Engels]

Hadrian's wall was built for a reason. To keep you motherf*ckers contained. Some of you did manage to escape to America, where you quickly reverted to slightly modified habits, such as road-kill cuisine, moonshine distilleries and the WWF.  :-D