Coping with (work) stress

[Soln]

It's that time of year again -- the run up to Thksgiving and Xmas -- and I presume those of us lucky enough not to be affected by Katrina and Rita are again facing bad deadlines.  Since a lot of us here seem to work in software (and consumer software is the worst for lack of order, since we have <12 months to design/develop/certify and launch new products) I'm curious how some of you manage.  I'm not talking about executive foot massages or playing paint ball, but what tactics you have personally found are useful.  For instance, cutting back on the coffee, exercising, sex, less booze, more sleep, less frantic music, better commuting, better food, naps, timeouts, flextime...  Asking because I'm sure there's something I could learn (and I enjoy f13 during the day anyways).  And it might be worthwhile for others as well. 




 

[Sky]

Mostly I refuse to be stressed. That's one reason I chose the library field for IT, not some corporate overload..err overlord. People get stressed around here, but it's usually all in their minds, there are very few actual stresses. And I do not recognize fabricated stress from things like arbitrary deadlines. When faced with actual deadlines, I just stay in a happy mood via music or whatever. Since it's got to get done, it may as well get done with a smile imo. I put a lot of time into reducing the stress levels of others around here, too. Life's too short for such a silly thing.

So I guess I'm not much help, though the stuff you listed can't hurt.

[Fargull]

Mostly I am with Sky.  I do work in a high stress environment, wobbling through the posting today, I realize that Toast works at the same damn place I do.  I generally force myself to take a break mid-day and get out of the mindset.  I also keep the picture of Johnny Cash flipping the bird handy as that always puts a smile on my face.

[Sky]

Hey, I like that idea!

[Toast]

Beside the obvious stuff, I recommend getting up a few times a day and going for a walk outside around the building. It's good for the spine and the mind.

Oh, don't surf the internet too much and get behind on projects.

[Morfiend]

Well, I do IT and a lot of my job is reactionary. If it breaks fix it. So right now we just got over a big "break" and its fairly quiet (post count going up). I really try not to stress to much, as it doesnt help. Maybe its because I used to smoke so much pot, but generally I dont let stress get to me. It also helps that the work enviroment is fairly lax around here. I usually go take a 5 minute break ever hour and a half to two hours to have a cig and streach my legs.

Also, one of the best things I have found when I am stressed, is to really work hard on not bringing my work home with me.

[Samwise]

I like to relieve stress by meeting my deadlines a month before anyone else, and then walking around the office pointing and laughing.  That's sort of a best case scenario.

Exercise is also good.  I don't exercise as much as I used to, but back when I was hitting the gym every night after work I did have a lot more energy and less stress and all that good stuff.

And when all that doesn't work, there's always the bottle of Scotch on the shelf.

[HaemishM]

Not that I do it, but good, strenuous exercise is actually one of the best stress fighters in the world.

Me personally, when stupid shit happens at work, I get a 5-minute bitch session in, then go do whatever it is I bitched about in the first place. Because really, bitching about it is nothing more than venting. You're going to have to do it anyway or lose your job, so get your bitch on then get the shit done.

[Hokers]

To get over stress at work, I take a long walk, expecally outside, it gives you a different perspective that there is more to the world than the TPS Report.

To prevent stress, I listen to music.  Too much time without the headphones makes for a cranky Hokers.

[voodoolily]

If it's possible where you live, take public transit instead of driving. That way traffic is one less thing to stress about, and you can use the travel time to read or play your GBA/PSP or catch a catnap. Also, take a lesson from the smokers: even if you don't smoke, STEP OUTSIDE EVERY COUPLA HOURS! And just walk around for 5 minutes. It makes a huge difference.

...not that I currently have much (any) work stress. But I think that because of consulting's high stress/burnout rate, I was "coping" by fucking off on teh intarweb all day, which ultimately led to my demise.

[Bunk]

My department is in the middle of a beta test crunch right now. For me, its been heading to the company games room to play ping pong. Haven't played the game in years and I really suck at it, but the nice burst of exercise really helps.

Then I go home and drink three Hoegarden.

[penfold]

I work in an investment bank and there's multi million/billion dollar deals waiting on the work my team does. Cant do anything about the stress really, as thats what they pay you to deal with but I did step down from running the team this week. There's stress and there's *stress* Im not cut out for the second.

[Pococurante]

It's not stressful if you don't take it personally.

[Viin]

I ride my R6 to work every day that I can, which makes *going* to work kinda fun.

I also have a great boss, which helps a ton. I rarely have to work overtime and I always always make a point of working 8 hours, no more. We also have daily 'rituals', ie: 8:30 we all (or most of us) walk down to starbucks and get a cup of joe (chai, in my case) and then work until 11:30 then go for an hour lunch. Around 3pm some folks make another run to a different coffee joint but I tend to just go sit in the breakroom and read a magazine for 10-15 minutes or go to the nearby book store and read there.

I also never never never take my work home unless I happen to be on call.

Oh, and if you have enough vacation time, taking a lot of 3 or 4 day weekends is the best way to use them. There's nothing like short weeks. I get 3 weeks so I typically use 1.5-2 weeks just on extending weekends through the year and use the rest for a week long vacation during the spring or summer.

[Ironwood]

Wanking.

And, on really stressful days, wanking in the Managing Partners office.  When he's away, of course.

[Jimbo]

I handle stress pretty good...we have peaks and valleys in our Emergency Department, and handle it with loose women, booze, and loud music.  I usually see the ICU nurses, cops, firemen, ambulance crew and ER out on the town or at our favorite watering hole at 0730...that's in the AM for you civilians.  Ain't much changed since I was in the military...same folks out doing the same thing to help other people and getting shit on...so off on another adventure powered by loud music and ETOH!

[Yegolev]

I have been working on dealing with a wad of stress here lately.  My usual techniques, most of which were already listed, haven't been up to the task for the past two weeks.  I am getting close to actually using my gym membership, that's how bad it is. =)  I have been taking on home improvement tasks, actually.  I am talking about onerous and uninteresting things like installing an exhaust fan in my attic.  Being (virtually) alone, working on a single task without a supervisor, getting some physical exertion, that helps.

I have given up a lot of things since my twenties.  Here lately, it's booze.  My body decided it didn't like alcohol anymore, at least not in the usual quantities, so I had to cut it out.  Not entirely, but by volume percentage it is practically zero.  I figure that not having any point in time during the day when I could stop working on something long enough to let the drink work was the real problem... as anyone who has gotten loaded and suddenly discovered they had a lot of work to do can probably attest.  Currently my body is better but my spirit is suffering.  Oh well.

The other thing I do is stay up really late playing games.  It is kinda hard to find a relaxing game sometimes.  Metroid Prime boss fights make me want to kick furniture, for example.  I absolutely cannot play something with a timer when I need to relax.  The sort of games that I find most relaxing are the ones that my wife hates: turn-based tactical games such as FFT, La Pucelle (who can hate an army made of cute bears and zombies?!), or even Culdcept.  She does tolerate Paper Mario:TTYD, even though it is turn-based.  Who could hate that game?

I am not giving up coffee.  Of course, this is what I said about beer two years ago.

[HaemishM]

Wanking.

And, on really stressful days, wanking in the Managing Partners office.  When he's away, of course.

Shit, how could I forget that? Of course, it's usually helped by a really fast Internet connection, but that's optional.

[Soln]

One thing about stress I've had to learn is that it's basically the complete opposite of when you are having fun at something at a really unsustainable pace.  Whatever that thing is, when it suddenly stops being "fun", then "stress" takes over.  Which is bad, since usually you're already pretty deep into whatever it is and that commitment makes it harder for you to retreat/recharge.  It's the same activity, but something has changed and what was once "fun" has suddently turned to "hell", and that's when the pace suddenly becomes unbearable.  I've experienced this in some of my gaming too (e.g. raid anyone?).  Thing I've had to learn (and should remember) is not to overextend myself (or not "take it personally" as Poco suggests) -- know when to end the catass'ing, keep gaming to less than a few hours at one sitting, for example.

Other thing I've found about stress work-wise is when you don't have any scope to a situation.  If you can't tell your staff or know yourself when things will improve (e.g. "do I have to work tonight again, and the weekend?") then the stress is more insidious because then people don't know when the next blow will fall.  They're constantly on edge, not knowing when things will implode, and they can't make personal commitments (and thus get more stress from their private life) because they don't know "when the office will call"...  

Unrealistic schedules, unrealistic pace, lack of control, lack of scope, manic personalities, unreasonable demands ("more reports!!"), these are some of the colors of the work stress rainbow.  I'm jotting this down as my own self help.  Thanks for the feedback.  "Fuck 'em all and I hope they die in a grease fire", recent team retort.

[Sky]

Other thing I've found about stress work-wise is when you don't have any scope to a situation.  If you can't tell your staff or know yourself when things will improve (e.g. "do I have to work tonight again, and the weekend?") then the stress is more insidious because then people don't know when the next blow will fall.  They're constantly on edge, not knowing when things will implode, and they can't make personal commitments (and thus get more stress from their private life) because they don't know "when the office will call"... 

Not to get repetetive, but that's why I work at a library. To me, money is nowhere near as important as my free time. When I leave here, I'm gone, off doing my musician thing. I can't understand how people can let their money-making mechanism intrude upon their personal lives. I can if they love their business, and they are a small business owner or whatever, but for the rank & file office drone? That's crazy.

Hell, that's why I don't build pcs or consult on the side. Last thing I want to do after hours is more work.

[Pococurante]

Earlier in my career I worked my way into senior management.  THAT stress was too much.  Later on it was running a series of my own businesses - easily the most stressful thing in my life since at that point my mistakes in judgement could really hurt other people and their families.  I went back into corporate america just below management - it's worked out well since I still get all the bennies of being a manager but am not on the hot seat anymore.

It's interesting actually how many of the older men and women I work with (late 30s up) have done the exact same thing.  It's mildly amusing if sad watching younger people strive for the masters of the universe thing, hurt their families, get paid little more than we do, and yet consider themselves a superior breed.  A lot of them wind up losing everything outside of their career and continue on mean and bitter, wondering why "their sacrifices" weren't appreciated.

Makes me think of Douglas Adams' wry comment the reasons why humans consider themselves superior to dolphins were the exact reasons why dolphins knew they were superior to humans... ;)

Really - detachment is the key to the kind of stress discussed in this thread - really just psychological.  Real stress would be being a rescue worker in LA digging up bodies and risking exposure to disease and toxins.  Or pushing a shopping cart until you finally find a place in the city park where the cops will let you get some sleep.

But with psychological stress it's really just a matter of consciously rewiring yourself.

Peck's The Road Less Travelled has been out for a long time.  I highly recommend it, especially for men.  There are religious overtones throughout but skim over that and just focus on the message.  Basically it's just a reminder the life is supposed to be tough, comfort zones are poisonous, and real maturity means learning detachment and taking care of your monkey sphere.

Accept, suck it up, and be graceful.  Do that and you'll feel more free than you thought possible.  It's the kind of thing we've stopped instilling into our children and it's one of the reasons many men today don't feel their lives have any meaning.  Too many of us haven't adjusted our view of what it means to be a man since we were twelve - we still think it means indulging boyish whims.

Hmm all that came off preachy and heavier than I really meant it.  Anyway this is what works for me - conscious attitude, and detachment with a strong streak responsibility/love for my friends and family.  Work is just what pays the bills - it's not "me".

[Mr_PeaCH]

If it's possible where you live, take public transit instead of driving. That way traffic is one less thing to stress about, and you can use the travel time to read or play your GBA/PSP or catch a catnap. Also, take a lesson from the smokers: even if you don't smoke, STEP OUTSIDE EVERY COUPLA HOURS! And just walk around for 5 minutes. It makes a huge difference.

Yes and Yes.

I used to take the train (light rail) to downtown and then hop on a trolley for a few stops which let me off a block from the building I worked in.  I drove about 10 minutes to get to the station and then relaxed for about an hour.  Sure, I could have driven and saved 15 minutes or so... but it was so relaxing, once I tried it for a week I was hooked.

Physically leaving your seat/desk/cube/office and getting outside is huge as well, imo.  I tend to be a 'bring your lunch in and eat at your desk' guy which only takes 15 minutes or so.  Not that any place I've worked at was rigid about the time taken for lunch but I am always arranging for little errands or just window shopping to do with the rest of my lunch hour.

Now I'm working with a partner trying to get an IT consulting start-up off the ground so the above doesn't apply as much which is a pity... I greatly enjoyed being less stressed.

[Yegolev]

I can't understand how people can let their money-making mechanism intrude upon their personal lives. I can if they love their business, and they are a small business owner or whatever, but for the rank & file office drone? That's crazy.

You are absolutely right, and my only defense is that I do what I do because of the two people I love.  I sacrifice so that they can be happy.  There's a fine line somewhere in there.  If I was single/childless, I would not be doing this.

[Sky]

Work is just what pays the bills - it's not "me".

Precisely. People ask me what I do, and I ask them what they mean. I know what they mean, what do I do to earn money. I just reject the notion that my job defines me. Think about how most people answer that question: "I'm a systems administrator." I find that kinda sad, to be defined by a job. The closest I'd come to an answer for that is that I'm a musician, since that's what my soul is, but even that falls exceedingly short of 'what I do'.

I'm reading some stuff on business communication, and it's fun to see all the cultural biases against the US way of doing things (they call it the puritan work ethic), and stress that when dealing with foreigners, you have to understand that our corporate ideals aren't universal. Many countries would rather employ four people to do the job of two people than have the increased profitability at the cost of increased unemployment rates. In other words, you have to be aware that many countries don't put capitalism first.

I can really dig that, even if I don't live in a yurt.

I used to get real stressed, and I've turned it into humor. I listen more. The best part is the gossipy bitchfests (though I do recognize their venting uses, as pointed out earlier): they are so often petty and meaningless that I have to chuckle and turn it around for people. Often they feel I'm mocking them, when really I'm just pointing out that in the big picture, whatever so&so did was just not worth upsetting your day for. The word I've coined a lot lately is perspective. As in, what if the library and our entire town was under martial law and we were living in a homeless shelter without any income....that kinda perspective keeps the petty daily bullshit in it's place.

[Margalis]

KMFDM

[Arnold]

Physically leaving your seat/desk/cube/office and getting outside is huge as well, imo.  I tend to be a 'bring your lunch in and eat at your desk' guy which only takes 15 minutes or so.  Not that any place I've worked at was rigid about the time taken for lunch but I am always arranging for little errands or just window shopping to do with the rest of my lunch hour.

At my last office job, I took my guitar to work, would eat my packed lunch in 10-15 minutes and spend the rest of the hour practicing guitar, outside, for the lessons I was taking.  I always loved that.  I practiced on a rock, under a big tree, and that enabled me to practice in the rain as well, as long as it wasn't raining too hard.

[MrHat]

I ride my R6 to work every day that I can, which makes *going* to work kinda fun.

I also have a great boss, which helps a ton. I rarely have to work overtime and I always always make a point of working 8 hours, no more. We also have daily 'rituals', ie: 8:30 we all (or most of us) walk down to starbucks and get a cup of joe (chai, in my case) and then work until 11:30 then go for an hour lunch. Around 3pm some folks make another run to a different coffee joint but I tend to just go sit in the breakroom and read a magazine for 10-15 minutes or go to the nearby book store and read there.

I also never never never take my work home unless I happen to be on call.

Oh, and if you have enough vacation time, taking a lot of 3 or 4 day weekends is the best way to use them. There's nothing like short weeks. I get 3 weeks so I typically use 1.5-2 weeks just on extending weekends through the year and use the rest for a week long vacation during the spring or summer.

I probably walked by you in Starbucks in Jeffco.

Should've stayed out there and hit you up for a job.

For relevance:  I don't get stressed.  Part of it is that I know if I'm having a bad time, I'll make it fun or get the fuck out.  No kids/carpayments/housepayments makes leaving an easy job.  My fiancee gets stressed alot, but I've helped her deal since we've been together.

[Viin]

Should've stayed out there and hit you up for a job.

Heck, I can't even get *myself* a new job here! Same ol' same ol' for 6 years now. But, we our GM just left the company so if you have experience running a large internet brand and like brown nosing AOL VP's, send me your resume! ;)

[Hanzii]

Work is just what pays the bills - it's not "me".

Precisely. People ask me what I do, and I ask them what they mean. I know what they mean, what do I do to earn money. I just reject the notion that my job defines me. Think about how most people answer that question: "I'm a systems administrator." I find that kinda sad, to be defined by a job. The closest I'd come to an answer for that is that I'm a musician, since that's what my soul is, but even that falls exceedingly short of 'what I do'.

I agree with most of the stuff I snipped of your post. But you must realise that some of the people defining themselves by their jobs aren't necessarily drones - they like what they spent most of their time doing.
What would your answer be if your music was paying your bills?

I have a lot of things I love to do. One is playing with computers and stuff related to them another is writing.
After a few mistakes at education (like English at the university because I liked liguistics and literature) I became a journalist. People would be paying me money for doing what I love. After doing tabloids and other fun stuff I was uemployed/freelance and landed a job at a pc-mag. Now people were paying me good money for writing about the stuff I did, when I wasn't writing...
A few sideways promotions later and I was the reviews editor - now people are paying me really good money for doing stuff the old me would do for free, but probably never get the chance too...
This is were it's getting hard to know when work is ending at spare time takes over.

Of course this is also where stress enters. I have three months of paid paternity leave coming up in a month (yup, one of those countries you talk about....)and 14 days of vacation before that to move into my new house  and I'm running like mad to get ahead and hand over a real tidy department to the guy handling my stuff while I'm gone. Why? Well part of it is impressing my boss (I don't want them going: Hans left a mess but John cleaned it out, while he was gone), a bigger part is repaying the trust placed in me, by doing a good job and the biggest part is just me knowing, that I'm the best they have. If I don't do it, someone else will have to... badly.
But right now... it's not so fun. I work to much. I spend to much time on logistics instead of playing with cool stuff. But the money is good (the annual raise negotiation is next month) and the possibilities in the company are great, so sucking it up now, is worth it.

A guy in the local paper made a good point. A lot of people think like you. It's bad form to check work mail while on holiday. If you do so you're stressing, unable to let go. His point was, that if you're some sort of manager (or just have solo responsibilities) then 7 weeks of vacation (like we get) means a lot of getting stuff out of the way before the vacation and playing catch up after the vacation - if answering your mail and doing a few hours worth of work in your vacation makes life easier for you before and after, what's so wrong about that?

We also have the other kind here. They work 8 to 4. They don't get promoted that often (sideways or otherwise) and they don't get the big raises. So life's fair. Funnily enough, most of these guys don't put in an effort because they really want to do "proper" journalism. Now, that's a stressfull job. When I worked the tabloid, I just stopped making arrangements with anybody. People just had to accept, that I couldn't make any promises. This is better, because I know it's temporary and over soon (three months in my new house with 6 month old daughter, a new computer and a few fun gadgets.... I'll be fine - but I'll still check in with work occasionally)