The lives of dumb athletes, continued.

[TheWalrus]

No comments on Kenny Rogers? And I don't mean that swingin hip guy that got to see Dolly Partons boobies.

[HaemishM]

Kenny Rogers got off light. 20 games is a harsh suspension, but then to allow him to play in the All-Star game is just fucking hypocritical. Had I been Terry Francona, I just wouldn't have picked him.

It's funny that if some fan had come out and shoved Rogers to the ground while he was pitching, he'd be all up in arms and trying to get the guy's jailed.

I'm still trying to figure out why the Player's Union would bother filing an appeal.

[WayAbvPar]

The guy deserves to be incarcerated. From everything I can see, it was an unprovoked attack by someone who is fucking unhinged. Lock him up until he gets medicated.

[voodoolily]

I know this is totally sophomoric, but every time I hear the name Kenny Rogers I can't help but think of Will Sasso.



"Hah I'm Kinny Rogerth and thith is Kinny Rogerth Roasterth!!" (cue slamming bottle of Jack Daniels on the head)

[HaemishM]

The worst part is Sasso's antics as that Kenny Rogers aren't too far from this Kenny Rogers' antics.

[Rasix]

David Wells on Roger's altercation with the cameraman:

Some guy's being aggressive with a woman, and she says no, and he keeps on doing it. Well, you know what's going to happen. No is no in anything, when it comes to sexual or you know, whatever it is. No is no. And I'm sure Kenny [Rogers] said, 'Hey, get [the camera] out of my face, don't do it.' But no, they want the big story, they want the scoop, you know?

Maybe he should comment on things he knows about, like eating hoagies instead of equating sexual assault with a pampered asshole's temper tantrum.

[Shockeye]

Different tune

By Jerry Remy, NESN Staff  |  July 11, 2005

I noticed last week vs. the Rangers, Manny was wearing sunglasses in left. However, the glasses were Oakley's that have a built in MP3 player. We all know Manny isn't the best defensive player, but is it safe for him to be wearing those? And secondly, does Francona realize what they are?

Peter Stopherd, Lyndhurst, NJ

A: That is a good question and we heard some rumors about that the last couple of days. Quite honestly, I did notice him wearing the Oakley’s in Texas but I had no idea they had an MP3 player built in. If Manny is listening to music during the game, although unbelievable it is Manny being Manny. However, if Francona knows about it, you can be sure he will not allow it.

I have no proof that he is listening to music, but as we have all come to love him, it would not shock me!

[Shockeye]

Red Sox's Bronson Arroyo Makes Debut Album

By CHRISTY LEMIRE, AP Entertainment Writer 1 hour, 14 minutes ago

NEW YORK - Athletes want to be rock stars and rock stars want to be athletes. Bronson Arroyo gets to be both. The Boston Red Sox pitcher comes out this week with "Covering the Bases," his debut album of '90s cover songs.

It's a mix of grunge ("Black" by Pearl Jam, "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots) and other modern rock ("Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls, "Pardon Me" by Incubus), songs the 28-year-old loved listening to and teaching himself to play on the guitar.

Teammates Johnny Damon, Kevin Youkilis and Lenny DiNardo help out on Arroyo's version of The Standells' "Dirty Water," the song that blasts from the Fenway Park speakers after every Sox victory. And general manager Theo Epstein, a fellow guitarist, plays on Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Something's Always Wrong."

Before this, Arroyo's best-known hit came during Game 6 of last year's American League championship series, when New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez slapped the ball out of his hand to avoid being tagged. He found time to record the disc after the Sox won their first World Series in 86 years.

There's an interview at the source link. I know you want to read it.

[HaemishM]

I don't want to hear anyone cover Pearl Jam songs for at least another 10 fucking years.

[Shockeye]

Dodgers got milk?
Monday, August 22, 2005

Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny bet a batboy $500 on Sunday that he couldn't drink a gallon of milk in under an hour without throwing up. Some of Penny's teammates kicked in on the wager, raising the ante to more than $1,000, according to the MIAMI HERALD.

After taking Penny up on the offer, the unidentified batboy managed to drink the gallon of milk but was unable to fulfill the second part of the bargain.

''He drank it down to the last drop,'' Penny said. ``But he couldn't hold it in. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.''

[Yegolev]

Reminds me of a recent Family Guy.

[Shockeye]

Fla. Police Seek Gooden; DUI Suspected

By MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer 59 minutes ago

TAMPA, Fla. - Former baseball star Dwight Gooden was being sought by police Tuesday on a felony warrant after he allegedly drove away from an officer who stopped him on suspicion of drunken driving.

Gooden, 41, left the scene of the traffic stop early Monday after refusing to get out his 2004 BMW to take a field sobriety test, police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said.

The officer stopped Gooden's car because he was weaving in traffic near downtown Tampa, McElroy said. Gooden, a Tampa native and resident, has a history of drug abuse and is awaiting trial on a domestic violence charge.

"The officer pulls over the car and immediately notices that the driver is under the influence," she said. "He has bloodshot, glassy eyes, his speech his slurred and he has a strong odor of alcohol."

Gooden handed the officer his driver's license but refused two requests to get out of the car, McElroy said. He then drove off with the officer still holding his license.

Police chose not pursue for safety reasons, McElroy said, but went to his two known addresses to look for him. They also contacted his most recent employer, the
New York Yankees, and his mother, she said.

Yankees spokesman Howard Grosswirth said Tuesday that Gooden hasn't worked for the team as a special adviser since April and officials don't know his whereabouts.

Gooden, who was out of jail on bail after a March domestic violence arrest, is wanted on felony charges of DUI and fleeing police, and a misdemeanor charge of resisting arrest without violence.

"At this point he is in a lot of trouble, and the only way he can help himself is to come forward and take responsibility for his actions," McElroy said.

Gooden, the 1984 Rookie of the Year and the 1985 NL Cy Young Award winner while with the
New York Mets, went 194-112 with a 3.51 ERA before retiring in 2001. He also pitched for the Yankees, Cleveland Indians, Houston Astros and Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Gooden was arrested by Tampa police in 2002 on a drunken driving charge, but later pleaded guilty to reckless driving and received a year probation. He was arrested in March and charged with hitting his live-in girlfriend in the face during an argument. He was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery, and the case is pending.

A call to Peter Hobson, the attorney representing Gooden in the domestic violence case, was not immediately returned Tuesday.

During his playing days, Gooden was suspended for 60 days in 1994 for testing positive for cocaine while with the Mets. He tested positive for cocaine again while on suspension and was sidelined for the 1995 season.

Earlier this month his son, Dwight Gooden Jr., 19, was jailed for violating his probation for cocaine possession. Police said they found marijuana and bullets in the younger Gooden's vehicle parked outside a nightclub.

Gooden's disappearance is reminiscent of the 2001 disappearance of his friend and former teammate Darryl Strawberry, who was missing for four days after he walked away from a drug treatment center where he was under house arrest.

Run Forrest Dwight Run!

[WayAbvPar]

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

[Shockeye]

Marlins suspend batboy for milk-drinking dare

ESPN.com news services

Milk does a body good, but it didn't do good for one batboy.

On a dare, a Florida Marlins batboy tried to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour without throwing up. But not only did the batboy not succeed in the challenge, his mere attempt cost him his job for six games, the Miami Herald reported Wednesday.

The Marlins suspended the unidentified batboy for the team's upcoming six-game homestand against the Cardinals and Mets from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4 for accepting the dare Sunday from Dodgers pitcher (and former Marlin) Brad Penny.

Penny offered the batboy $500 if he could drink a gallon of milk in less than an hour before Sunday's game without throwing up. Penny told the paper the boy drank the milk and didn't throw up, but didn't finish the gallon in the allotted time frame to win the dare.

"It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk," Penny told the Herald.

''It's ridiculous that they worry about stuff like that. It shows they [the Marlins organization] don't know anything about the game. That kind of stuff goes on everywhere. It didn't affect the way he worked, the way he did his job.''

[Samwise]

[Shockeye]

Miracle Helping Batboy "MOOOOVE" Forward

Team Offers Him Honorary Batboy Duties Following Suspension

FORT MYERS, FL (August 25, 2005) – Miracle Baseball understands how tough it can be for people to be out of work.  That is why the Miracle are extending an invitation to the suspended Marlins batboy, offering him a position at Monday night’s game at Hammond Stadium, to keep his skills sharp during his time away from the Majors.

The Miracle, Class-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins in the Florida State League, will send a limo to Miami to pick up the youngster and his family and drive them to Hammond Stadium for the Monday night, August 29 game between the Tampa Yankees vs. Fort Myers Miracle.  Not wanting the batboy's skills to “spoil,” the Miracle will offer him an honorary batboy position during the game.

All kids 14 and under will receive a pint of milk upon entering the stadium. The Miracle will also have a cow at the front gates and literature will be passed out on the importance of drinking milk

"Similar to a rehab stint, we want to help this kid stay on top of his game,” Miracle GM Steve Gliner “uddered”.   Instead of crying over spilt milk, we decided to offer him the honorary post.”

Not wanting the suspended bat boy to be penniless, empty milk cartons will be placed around the ballpark, so fans can aide the out of work bat boy during his time away. 

Miracle Baseball, owned by the Goldklang group, Marv Goldklang, Mike Veeck, Bill Murray and Jimmy Buffet are in their 14th season in the FSL.  Monday night’s game begins at 7:05 p.m. with gates opening at 6:00 p.m. Tickets are $6 for box and $4 for general reserve.  Fans can purchase tickets by calling 239-768-4210 or going on line at www.miraclebaseball.com.  Miracle Baseball, where FUN IS GOOD!!

[Jain Zar]

So Marlins' head office?  No sense of humor.

Minor League team?  Sense of humor AND brains to make a marketing stunt/education for kids deal out of it.

[Shockeye]

Suspended batboy mulling two offers
ESPN.com news services

Got milk? An unidentified Florida Marlins batboy does.

After the batboy was suspended six games for accepting a dare from Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny, a former Marlin, to drink a gallon of milk in less than an hour without vomiting, the Milk Processor Education Program wants to compensate him. The group is offering the batboy $500, the original prize of the dare, along with any lost wages from the suspension as long as he promises to drink the recommended three glasses of milk a day (just not all in one sitting).

In addition, the Fort Myers Miracle, the Minnesota Twins' Single-A affiliate in the Florida State League, have offered him an honorary batboy position during their game Monday night against the Tampa Yankees.

"Similar to a rehab stint, we want to help this kid stay on top of his game," Miracle GM Steve Gliner said. "Instead of crying over spilt milk, we decided to offer him the honorary post."

All kids 14 and under will receive a pint of milk upon entering the stadium. The Miracle will also have a cow at the front gates and literature will be passed out on the importance of drinking milk. Empty milk cartons will be placed around the ballpark, so fans can donate money to the out-of-work batboy.

The offers come in the wake of a Miami Herald report Wednesday that the Marlins suspended the unidentified batboy for the team's upcoming six-game homestand against the Cardinals and Mets from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4 for accepting the dare Sunday.

Penny told the paper the boy drank the milk and didn't throw up, but didn't finish the gallon in the allotted time frame to win the dare.

"It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk," Penny told the Herald.

"It's ridiculous that they worry about stuff like that. It shows they [the Marlins organization] don't know anything about the game. That kind of stuff goes on everywhere. It didn't affect the way he worked, the way he did his job," he said.

15 minutes, they are running out.