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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Today's Olsen Report 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Today's Olsen Report  (Read 2366 times)
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
on: May 24, 2005, 04:28:35 PM

Quote from: Go Fug Yourself
Fug York Minute

Okay, Mary-Kate. We get it. We know you're into swaddling your skeleton in as many large layers as possible to compensate for your lack of body fat. But it's not fooling anyone:



The cowgirl-doily look wouldn't be flattering on anyone, with or without the giant picnic blanket knotted around her neck. But honey, my stick figures that I drew in elementary school had more meat on their bones. Very scary. What happened with you and Ashley? You were so cute together in New York Minute. Um, not that I saw it. But if I had, I probably would have secretly thought you and your sister were sort of sweet -- I mean, I assume, although of course I have no idea what my reaction to that movie would have been. right? Yes.

What about your counselors? What about the rest of your wardrobe? Did it ever occur to you that you wouldn't need seventeen baggy layers and a wad of plaid if you just had some of nature's insulation?

The thing that's most wrong about this picture is that her "boyfriend" is leading her down the street and not toward another rehab center. Please get her some help, Scruffy Boyfriend. Otherwise, it's going to end tragically, either from the disorder or from you having sex with her and accidentally snapping her in half. Then we'll get some kind of badly written television event in which Ashley makes her first solo acting debut playing Mary-Kate, and... well, that's quite a rabbit hole.

So somebody, please give Lohan and Richie and their ilk a good example to follow, and GET THE GIRL SOME HELP so that she stops losing weight in places where there is no weight to lose.

Also: Please make her stop wearing tents.
Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #1 on: May 24, 2005, 04:32:25 PM

Looks like she's wearing some sort of mask.  I'm afraid.  Someone hold me.

-Rasix
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #2 on: May 24, 2005, 04:34:47 PM

That is actually stomach-churning. Yikes.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #3 on: May 24, 2005, 06:58:44 PM

That's not an Olsen twin.

That's one of the little ghoulish shits from The Labyrinth.
Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075

Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #4 on: May 24, 2005, 08:59:07 PM

I saw something like that once. She asked me riddles.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
shiznitz
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268

the plural of mangina


Reply #5 on: May 25, 2005, 05:41:17 AM

I saw something like that once. She asked me riddles.

YES!

I have never played WoW.
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #6 on: May 25, 2005, 07:32:18 AM

Hmmm, Gelflings.


"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Jayce
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2647

Diluted Fool


Reply #7 on: May 25, 2005, 07:43:42 AM

The oversized hat makes her look 12 again.

Witty banter not included.
El Gallo
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2213


Reply #8 on: May 25, 2005, 07:44:45 AM

Hmmm, Gelflings.


Winner.  Let's drain their souls for eternal life.

This post makes me want to squeeze into my badass red jeans.
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #9 on: May 25, 2005, 07:59:38 AM

They're making Dark Crystal 2, by the way.
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #10 on: May 25, 2005, 09:47:24 AM

Her boyfriend looks like a pr0n star whose name I don't know.

WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #11 on: May 25, 2005, 09:48:37 AM

Her boyfriend looks like a pr0n star whose name I don't know.

I am sure they printed it on the back of the life-sized poster you have over your bed  evil

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199


WWW
Reply #12 on: May 25, 2005, 10:53:20 AM

Look lets leave my picture out of this.

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