f13.net

http://www.newbirth.org/

Man, this church is just gonna save the fuck out of your soul.

See, that's what modern Christianity needs:

A hardcore church for the 21st century.

Heh. Good one.

If you manage to make it through that amazing intro you will find a midi tune of such quality that I believe it would even stand up to Girl From Ipanema.

That intro scared me ...  :-o

XTREEEEEEEME CHURCH!

(http://www.grannygear.com/Assets/Images/Races/Bigbear/2005/Extreme_Sports_Punks.jpg)

http://www.karateforchrist.net/

My Christ drops roundhouse kicks. 
(I wish my google-fu was strong enough to find an image of those televangelists who would rip telephone books in half in Christ's Name)

The music on the New Birth site sounds like music from a hentai game.

That's awesome. When does their FPS come out?


I envision a shotgun-crucifix combo weapon as seen in From Dusk Till Dawn!

How would you know that? (http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2058/emotvcx1.gif)

The same reason you would, wiseass.

That site was so intense, it locked up my firefox.   :evil:

You should hire SharperFX.com for your website's intro too Schild!

Also locked up firefox for me :(.

And unshockingly enough, that church is in Georiga close to where I live.

We do religion right, yall.  :roll:

I like that he has a first lady.

That site is Advancing the Kingdom of God, one epileptic seizure at a time.

Oh, I finally get it.  Each Power Pastor has his own robot church. (not a church for robots)  The 5 Power Pastors team up to form the Mega Church to fight giant aliens and the gays.

(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/super_best_friends.jpg)

I think they might be more hardcore then the army.

I'd say it's more like bringing people closer to god, one epileptic seizure at a time.  It's the sack of Constantinople for the 21st century.

Of course.  Only a matter of time before they sell out the Dome and fuck my commute, like T. D. Jakes does.  He's worse than a Falcons home game.

I think they are more dangerous!

As a lapsed Catholic I just can't take Protestants seriously.  Church is supposed to be boring.  It's supposed to be an intimidating big-ass building with a suffering dude on a cross reminding you of just how vile and treacherous you really are.  An old man in funny clothes should be swinging around a giant brass censor filling the whole joint up with incense.  You're then supposed to get in line and receive your tasteless wafer and tiny sip of bad wine.

You're also not supposed to actively save people (a guy at my work is way into "saving" people), go door to door, or any other bullshit.  Your task is to punch your ticket, hope you're not bound for eternal torment, and breed a lot.  Life isn't to be enjoyed, it's to be endured, goddamnit.

http://www.sharperfx.com/ (http://www.sharperfx.com/)

They seem to be, eh...specializing in religious web sites. Some of them are actually pretty intense, as far as church sites go.

Super LOLZ: http://www.sharperfx.com/kkmime/index7.htm (http://www.sharperfx.com/kkmime/index7.htm)

Holy shit, that mime show looks too intimidating for me to attend. I'll just go to a nice, safe Cradle of Filth concert, thanks.

I wish, the worst part is that they keep bringing in guitars to my church. Hey jerkass, you're not making Christianity better with your rock, you're making rock worse. I'm starting to believe I'm a Catholic trapped in a protestant upbringing.

Yeah, I saw that. Those are some fucking hardcore mimes.

Holy Fucking Crap on a Crap Cracker, I think I just shit myself.

K&K mime.  That's like Chappelle quality material right there. I sent the link to a friend and he refused to believe it was real.  He thought it was a joke from Something Awful. 

Saving one soul at a time, though the power of ninja mime improv.

Un-freaking-real, dude. Who runs this crazy company? It's like they took religion to the Drag Racing strip.

Sunda Sunday Sunday (adds cheesy echo)

Jesus?































































Oh, you meant the web design group. No clue.

Nope. I've got nothing. Mime Jesus Ninja Gymkata Superpowers win.

Wow.

I'm super-insulted and feel very oppressed that those non-honkey-assed motherfuckers are doing it in fucking whiteface.

Re the church link at the top, I quite liked the intro.  I even thought, "hey, they probably have lots of swaying folks doing blues-based harmonies in the choir.  You know, I'll bet that if that was my local church instead of the Church of Dreary Scotland, I bet I'd go there every now and then."  (Even though there is one of those churches nearby and I don't)  But wtf is this american religion/profit thing? They charge $3.99 to download their fricking sermons?

You think religion == profit is an American thing?  I admit they may take it to quite an extreme at some of the churches in this country but religion has always been a money making institution.

To appreciate this you really just have to look at a church.

Being brought up, first in the Scottish brethren, then in the Calvinist branch of the Church of Scotland, I will say that whatever you might accuse them of (mainly intolerance in the first and dreariness in the second) they sure as hell aren't guilty of hoarding wealth.

But point taken: even the big out-of-town superchurches in the US can only dream of the sort of wealth that exists in the cathedral of a provincial Italian town.

What?  Like this one?

(http://www.cbs.umn.edu/studentservices/photos/Provincial%20Italy.jpg)

Yeah, the padre is going to bed hungry every night I'm sure.

I don't follow.  :?