f13.net

She drives while drunk!

Who would have guessed?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060907/ap_en_ce/hilton_arrest

I just can't figure out why someone worth millions of dollars can't be bothered to take a limo or have someone else drive her useless ass around when she is drinking.

Because she'd miss this excellent opportunity for publicity.

In her demented little world, ANY publicity seems to be good publicity.

Did she at least take the opportunity to blame the Jews for invading Poland?

I would be shocked if she could even find Poland on a map. Or Europe, for that matter.

She knows Pole Land, not Poland.

I'm pretty sure she could pick out Europe on a map, first try...if only by dumb luck - she wouldn't have many choices.

Of course she can pick out Europe. It's where she picks up all her boyfriends.

I wonder who drives worse, a smashed Paris Hilton or the blind guy (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=8126.msg221084)?

Edit: Spelling is tough.

We should challenge them to race each other or something.  It'll be fun.

Someone here in Japan asked me the other day what I thought of the Paris Hilton sex tape.  I love how she's become one of our primary cultural exports to the world.

We don't have many other options it seems.

Hey awesome, she's driving drunk.  That'll definitely help her party image.  Maybe next time she'll crash into an SUV and kill a 4-year-old, LOLPARTY!

That's hot.

Can I hope for a tree instead?  One with spikes and other sharp pointy instruments embedded into it?

Hey, what did trees do to deserve that? Lets hope she crashes into another pointless SUV driven by another pointless bimbette such as her pal Nicole.

The tree would likely survive without too much damage.  If not we can give it a celebratory funeral pyre to thank it for its sacrifice.  Maybe a nice BBQ if the wood is right.  If it has any seeds or sapplings about its base we can sanctify and spread them about the country as beacons of justice and hope.

Your suggestion is nice.  I doubt fortune will smile that widely upon us though.

Only if filmed in nightvision green.

I read that as 'bacons of justice and hope' and I really, really liked the idea but questioned the practicality of turning trees into bacon. Then my brain unfucked itself but I guess you could still use the wood to cook some bacon.

Hmm... bacon...

I like how your mind works. Both of you actually.

And talking on a cell phone!