f13.net

I have suffered for your amusement. Again. (http://www.f13.net/index2.php?subaction=showfull&id=1138053324&archive=&start_from=&ucat=2&)

You should just beat yourself in the beans with a tack hammer for a couple of hours instead. At least you save on the rental fee.

Rental? Its in theaters.

I considered seeing this just to find out HOW bad it could be.  Now I don't have to.  Yaaaay!

Uwe Boll, cinema's response to ebola. Ugly, messy, and you really don't want to be near anything that's produced by him.

So make it a straight jacket rental fee to keep you from harming yourself and others in the theatre.  :-D

I can't feel for you on this one, I just can't.

You paid good money to see Bloodrayne - a movie so insipidly stupid that my brain rebelled just reading the first paragraph of your summary - in the theater.  Not only that but you stayed for the whole thing.   If pain's your thing, just buy Poptart a lash and get yourself a gimp mask, man.

flugemhemhimler.

I couldn't find screencaps in the internet.

I did, however, see that some retards are getting hot and bothered by the plasma on Lokan's face in that one scene. Ugh.

Yeah...by twenty it wasn't awkward at all any more. "Hey mom...can you bring me a tissue?"

Don't assume things you know you shouldn't.

Which is why Haemish hasn't really suffered enough. He doesn't know true suffering and until he does these reviews of his aren't tortured enough art.

You're in a bad mood today. I retract my joke!

It's Tuesday. I never could get the hang of Tuesdays.

Maybe this is Haemish's new spin on monasticism or something, where rather than praying on our behalf and sparing us the suffering, he instead views very bad movies.

I suddenly have a mental image of Haemish strapped to a chair in a movie theater screaming out "DEO GRATIAS!" after every scene.

I'm good at teh interweb... or maybe I just dig naked chicks and porn... whatever...

***Following link is NOT SAFE FOR WORK***


http://www.iwatchstuff.com/archives/2006/01/kristanna_loken_topless_sex_sc.html

Wow, that just saved me some money. Thanks!

You actually went to the theater to suffer for us?  Wowsers.  You are even better than a hero.  You are Comfy Chair.

I was looking at other reviews posted, and I found this sentence in a review that was... I guess positive. He said it's good brainless theater fun, but Uwe Boll still sucks.

Anyways.  This sentence just really, really pissed me off:

God, I could use some magical power-ups.  Unfortunately, my magical power-up guy isn't answering his phone.   :cry:

I guess that means the 900-numbers must be packed today...odd.

I think she was talking about marijuana.  Call me crazy.

It's not funny if you just come out and say it like that.

Yeah it's only funny if you're alluding to something that sounds funny and you come right out and say it.

Like nipples.

(http://www.indexstock.com/store/GetChubby.asp/ImageNum=565944&VOLID=FxGu%7DTMZ8fQC&SecNum=bQcTsThSJEaYYe%7DSqpJsfeS%5E%7B&gc=&aw=aw0&ss=1/IndexStock-C-565944.jpg) :hello_kitty:

ZOMGzors what if superman was a vampire could a lightsaber hurt him?

We watched the early sequence of House of the Dead where they rent the boat to take them to the island. That's some atrocious shit there, I love making my girl squirm watching it, but after a couple minutes of that gorton's fisherman character sliding from accent to accent with the frequency of a cheap ham radio, even I have to change the station. So abysmal I can't believe anyone ever let that Boll guy work again.

He's probably made money with every movie he's made.  That's really all there is to it.  You make money, you get to keep working.

That's sort of why I make fun of the whole, "Conservative actors don't get work in Hollywood!" bullshit.  If you bring in the bank you'll find work in Hollywood.  Even if they have you on tape raping nuns and drinking the blood of infants, as long as you make money you'll still get a table at Spago.

Conservative actors don't get work in hollywood though. Especially Mel Gibson. What does that guy have to do to get a gig?

I'd state the answer, but it's blasphemous.

See wednesdays are the suck for me. Hell between you, me and Arthur we could pretty much cripple a whole week!

EDIT: fucking graduate degree and i still can't write a single sentence that gets 's vs. s right.