f13.net

Did I leave anyone out? This month's Don'ts from Vice magazine made me think of y'all. (http://www.viceland.com/issues/v12n8/htdocs/donts.php)


(http://www.viceland.com/issues/v12n8/htdocs/dos_donts/11.jpg)

I am a quarter Scot and have a Scottish last name. But I enjoy Irish Whiskey more than Scotch, so perhaps that quarter of my blood is dominant.

That's true. Kilts are just stupid wee skirts that wealthy drunks like to wear.

Here's how you wear the plaid:

http://www.bracewel.demon.co.uk/monties/plaidins.htm

Make sure you do not fly on giant birds when wearing a kilt or this may happen:

(http://www.innerfilth.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=37380)

Being from a border clan... meh.

Utilikilts - the only way to swing free.

(http://www.silascrews.com/images/utilikilt.jpg)

I'd say this is going downhill fast, but it never started that high to begin with.

Anyone who hasn't got a Scottish surname and a good idea of Clan history shouldn't wear a kilt.

Ever.

And I include myself (obviously.)

You wouldn't believe the amount of arguments I have got into over here over the matter.

the quote is correct -- it was Victorian pastoralism that started the bagpipes and tartan-for-all shit.  Bagpipes and fiddles (alongwith Gaelic) were outlawed after the Jacobean rebellion.  Along with clan tartans I believe...  but this pains me more (below). 

(http://elveteran.mon-blog.org/images/24487/Image%20du%20jour/Mc.JPG)


Edit: BTW, did you know that if you wanted to open "Haemish MacDonald's Hardware Store" or whatever you couldn't?  "McDonald's" and "MacDonald's" have been trademarked -- the apostrophe in particular.  Some people who actually have the name have tried to fight this (http://www.mcspotlight.org/media/press/herald_7oct96.html)....

Sure you can; trademarks don't apply that broadly across different industries (at least here in the US., I won't attempt to speak for the UK.)

I agree with the latter but not the former.  There are plenty of reasons you might not have a Scottish surname, even with a great deal of Scottish ancestry.  Maybe your grandpa on your dad's side happened to be Italian, but your granda was Scottish, and your mom's side of the family is entirely Scottish.  If you understand the Clan history, you qualify to wear a kilt imo.  Even if you are a DiMarco or whatever.

Sigh. You don't get it, do you? Did anyone even click the link?

Kilts look retarded on anyone, and are stupid. Even, nay especially, Utilikilts. The end.

My husband looks right smart in a kilt, thank you very much!  His legs are ever so sexy.

Aw, you just love to see him wear women's clothing and you know it.

You have to find the right man in a skirt!  I think kilts (except for the silly Prince Charles get up for weddings and all) are very sexy.  Men with swords look nice too.

(http://www.madoc.us/pictures/men/kilt.jpg)

(http://www.liamneeson-fansite.com/movies/1995_rob_roy/rrliam08.jpg)

Douglas here, but I ain't gonna wear no kilt.

So that would be everybody except a bunch of boring cunts in the Uni history departments. Most everything to do with tartan, modern kilts and post-Jacobean clans has more to do with English aristocracy than ZOMG Highlanders.

At some point the bitch wimped out and took her mans surname.  She fucked it for you.  No Kilt.

Sorry.

Heh.

That's fine, I'm not looking to wear a kilt.  I don't, to my knowledge, have any significant Scottish ancestry at all.  Think I'm mostly Romanian.

My wife has a Romanian Friend.  She's probably the hottest thing in the UK right now.

Sigh.

Marriage is overpowered.  It should be nerfed.

Fucking gypsies.  Don't try to push your shiny pebbles and bits of dried up heather on me... I don't care if your grubby children starve.  It's not as if you'd buy them any chicken with my money, is it?

At least I have chicken.

The pebbles are just a front. They have no intention of even selling them, or starving. They're going to steal your chicken.

I have no idea what the hell I was talking about.

Signe, again I declare you a silly, silly woman. I've been wondering: is it pronounced "sig-nee" or "sine"? It reminds me of Cygnus, the swan constellation and my common usage of botanical Latin makes me want to read it as "sig-nee".

In other news, the Thai food I just ate has given me a tummyache.

I remember her saying in Teamspeak that it was "Sahn-yay".

Woah, okay. I'll still mentally call her "Sig-nee" because I am not French. I am not Latin, either, but that is neither here nor there.

I frequently do a fine* Scottish accent, particularly when drunk.  No kilt for this German/Croat though.

(* And by fine, I mean terrible, and mostly based on Groundskeeper Willy.)

I can only do one based on Mike Meyers in So I Married an Axe Murderer. Alan Cumming is a doll, though and I love his gay little Scotch accent.

The proper Norwegian is Sig-nee, my mum didn't like it and pronounced it Seen-yah, WUA only thinks he sounds like a Scot because he's drunk (his "friends" compliment him so he won't stop and mock him when he passes out) and there is no such thing as a "Scotch" accent... well, unless you cound WUA's drunken one.

PS Everyone, please stop trying to say my name and don't talk about me anymore.  It makes me nervous.  This is a thread about those great nancy boy wankers up in Scotland, anyway.  The bastards.

I think you secretly love the attention, you big girly girl.  :wink:

Wow this is shaping up just like those movies I am always watching.

Bwam chicka chicka bwam bwam, bwam, bwam chicka chicka bwam bwaaaam.

Hmm, I think I always pronounced in Sig-nee in my head. For some reason though i always just assumed it meant something. I never realized it was really your name. I mention this because the kilt thing has me board. I know I'm about 1/8 Scott, but efforts to dig up a reliable family tree have been useless, so bleh.

Cheddar, mentally vocalizing a porn soundtrack is really disturbing when looking at your avatar for some reason.

When did WUA's account name get changed by the way? I'm always slow at noticing these things.

I don't believe I have any gypsy heritage, but that doesn't stop my girlfriend from calling me a "damned pikey" whenever she feels like it.  But that's okay, cause I can call her a beaner and we're even.  Er... except she's actually Mexican.  I guess she'd be more accurate calling me a Jew, since that's something I'm at least sure I came from.  Hell, she should just call me a cracker and be done with it.

I have a story about a Romanian and a Mexican. When I was in middle school, I had a Romanian friend named Gabriela. She was really nice, beautifully olive and big-boned, with really dark hair and eyes, and the thickest eye lashes you've ever seen. There was this rough Mexican girl whose name I can't remember, but we all had to wait at the same school bus stop. The Mexican girl would always flip Gabi shit, make fun of her accent and fuck with her, and finally one day Gabi gave the girl a beatdown like only a gypsy with four older brothers can give. You just don't fuck with eastern Europeans. Later they became friends so the story has a happy ending. The End!  :hello_kitty:

I always pronounce it sig-nee, but I doubt I'd say it that way out loud.  My tongue has lost the Pittsburgh accent, but my brain hasn't, I guess.

It is pronounce Sine.  I do not care what you heathens say.  Just like Schild being pronounced S - Child.  Or Voodoolilly being pronounced VD.  All of you are wrong.

That doesn't make any sense.  If you always pronounce it Sig-nee, they you must say it that way out loud.  That's the proper way of saying it, too.  Why are trying to confuse me?   

Please stop saying my name, especially out loud.  Someone please delete this part of this thread and just leave the pretty men in frocks.  I come to the intarwebs to be anonymous, you know.

Then why did you use your real first name?  

We don't know who the hell you are, ya big ninny.

Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe Signe

LOOK!  EVERYONE LOOK AT SIGNE!  THERE SHE IS!  <vehemently points>

I've always said "Sig-nay".  Now that I know better I'll practice saying "Sig-nee".

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/75/GypsyMST3K.JPG/175px-GypsyMST3K.JPG)

I use it on the internet because no one told me Llava would be here and I thought I'd be safe with a name no one can pronounce.  Honestly, I never thought anyone would bother trying! 

Here's a kilt to distract you:

(http://www.unrealmuscle.com/movreviews/2001/marja_lehtonen/images/pic24.jpg)

That is revolting.  I no longer think you are ok Signe.

That's another notch I can make on my "Women Who Regret Finding The Internet After Meeting Me" list.

Sweet.

I enjoy thinking of her as Cigne.

I warn you.  I know where all the bad touch pictures are.

What happened in here?

I was molested.

HAY HAY HAY. DON'T MOLEST SIGNAY.

That's the same mistake I was making!  But it's "Signee".  I know that... now.

I know it's Signe because we spoke on teamspeak about it after she started calling me s-child.

Wait, it's signee or signay?

Signee.

Phew.  I was scared for a second there that I'd spent three hours saying her name out loud the WRONG WAY.

Which is why "Hey You!" is always the best choice.

Mulva.

DELORIS!

Gipple?

Bovary?

I'd like to take this opportunity to prance around singing "I was right! I was right!"

Signarino, or Her Royal Signess, if you're not into that whole brevity thing.

I say it

(http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:onxBWBEXVpAJ:www.le-point-g.ch/albums/Object/cig.jpg) + (http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:dPvQHSLk4E4J:www.ski-injury.com/kneeanat.gif)

Where is the fucking ignore function on this stupid board and can I do it in a batch?

Butt-knee?

I think you've just ruined men in kilts for me now.  I used to think they looked seksah, but after seeing that...

Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

And I thought the "e" was silent and it was pronounced "Sign." 

Actually, that was a woman in a kilt.  Really.  She's a body builder. 

By the way, I've decided not to have a name at all.  You can just refer to me as

How do you pronounce that?   :?

That doesn't help anything.  In fact, I think it's made it worse now.   :heartbreak:

That's fine, but do you promise to respond?

I mean, when you see:

  !  Hey,  !  Are you listening?   !

are you gonna play dumb?  Cause if so you can forget the whole thing right now.

The artist formerly known as Signe?

That'll do nicely.

Sig-knee mentally for me. But I am hooked on phonics.

Yes. The kilts you see out and about now have really fuckall to do with Scottish highlanders or clans in general. They are genealogy transplants on a conquered people.

Braveheart is also horribly wrong historically speaking, but still a right fine movie.

Also, though I play a kilt-wearing madman on the Interweb, I have no doubt I'd look right retarded in a kilt.

EDIT: Also, the best I can do on tracing my family heritage has the name coming out of the York area of England, which during the Scottish Wars of Independence (better known as OY! LONGSHANKS! 'OW DOO YOOO LOIK A COCK IN 'OOR EYE, YOOO COONT!) was traded between Scotland and England more times than a drunk cheerleader at the homecoming mixer. So I probably have some kind of Scots blood in me somewhere.

Which is, word for word, how it is taught in our schools.

If you read the right books, the Armstrong clan was pretty prominent in the piss-off-the English games.  Until the laird was hidden away from James and we couldn't find him again.  Oops.  Lots of English Armstrongs these days.