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Title: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 07, 2005, 03:19:52 PM This is a letter I wrote last week to Portland's hipper free weekly, The Portland Mercury (http://portlandmercury.com/current/index.html) (sister publication to Seattle's "The Stranger"). THe picture I was referring to showed a PSP with Super Mario Bros. being played on it.
Quote OUT-GEEKED AGAIN! DEAR MERCURY: You are such a bunch of posers [Destination Fun, June 30]. You show a poorly-Photoshopped Sony PSP with the quintessential Nintendo game on the screen, and you think no one would notice? Super Mario Bros. will be available for Sony systems when they pry it from Nintendo's cold, dead hands. It hurts me deep inside and makes the baby Jesus stabby to see such blatant disregard for merchandising. You shoulda had the geek that writes game reviews double-check your lazy asses, since you obviously don't give a shit about gaming. Heather A. ERIK HENRIKSEN RESPONDS: To be fair, I noticed this too--but upon seeing the gaffe, I had to ask myself two questions: 1. Do I (yet again) point out how insanely geeky and pathetic I am by (yet again) pointing out a negligible geek-related image error? 2. Do I really think anyone except for myself is lame enough to (a) notice this, and (b) throw their own tantrum? My answers were all "no." Though I guess I was wrong on both parts of the second question. But for your ultra-geekiness, Heather, you win our "Letter of the Week!" prize package which includes two authentic tickets to the Laurelhurst, two passes to see the Briefs at Dante's on July 21, and a $30 dinner at No Fish! Go Fish! I won! They unfortunately didn't have a jpeg of the PSP on their archives, but oh well. I won! Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: schild on July 07, 2005, 03:21:41 PM Wait wait. There's a newspaper named "The Stranger?"
I bet Erik Henriksen and Tor Thorsen are dating. I don't know why. It just SEEMS right. I demand the gift certificate as you seem to have used the word posers on a day past December 5th, 1996. Which as we all know is the day the word was outlawed by over 30 independent countries and the UN itself. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 07, 2005, 03:26:43 PM I like how he says "authentic" tickets, like they've been giving out fakes up 'til now. The Laurelhurst is a cool vintage theater that shows second-run flicks and occassional cult faves. Got to see Rushmore on the big screen again there last fall.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Shockeye on July 07, 2005, 03:29:56 PM Congrats.
I won a $50 gift certificate on local talk radio a couple years ago when I professed my love for infomerials on-air. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Bunk on July 07, 2005, 03:31:36 PM "a $30 dinner at No Fish! Go Fish!"
Based on the name of the restaurant, I'm guessing that $30 will feed a family of 12. Seriously though, congrats - especially on getting the phrase "makes the baby Jesus stabby" published. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 07, 2005, 03:46:13 PM If Erik Henriksen were a true geek, he would've referred to my geekiness as "uber", not "ultra". In your face AGAIN, Henriksen!
No Fish! Go Fish! Has stuff like soup and sammies and salads I think. I heard they have good butternut squash soup. Too bad it's SUMMER. There's one five blocks from my house, though, conveniently. And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: schild on July 07, 2005, 03:47:12 PM And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling. You're definately not the only one with shitty taste in Television here. Shockeye has a storied history. I think he has Sledgehammer on DVD. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 07, 2005, 03:51:58 PM Found them compelling. Like back when I usta do LSD a coupla times a week. I was totally mesmerized by the one for the stick blender. Y'know, the one where they make their own mayo? They made their own MAYO, for chrissakes!
Now, I have excellent taste in television. Actually, in everything. I'm feeling very confident today. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Shockeye on July 07, 2005, 03:58:45 PM I would stay up nights and watch infomercials while doing MUD programming. I can recite the script for the Flowbee infomercial at the drop of a hat.
If anyone happens to have a videotape of the Flowbee infomercials, I would be willing to pay. A lot. Addictions are never cheap. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: schild on July 07, 2005, 04:02:05 PM I just dribbled a little vomit on my shirt.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Shockeye on July 07, 2005, 04:07:03 PM I just dribbled a little vomit on my shirt. You can use OxiClean to get that out. Billy Mays can help. (http://www.wasteoftechnology.com/motw28.shtml) Really. (http://www.listentome.net/stuff61.php) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Signe on July 07, 2005, 04:24:48 PM Woo hoo! Billy Mays! Whatta hunka hunka!
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Paelos on July 07, 2005, 06:17:03 PM This thread is completely surreal.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Shockeye on July 07, 2005, 06:24:23 PM Paelos' Christian Blog updated 5/3/05 I've been waiting over two months for an update. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Paelos on July 07, 2005, 06:41:32 PM Paelos' Christian Blog updated 5/3/05 I've been waiting over two months for an update. Yeah, I guess since I quit my job I've lost my excuse. I'll work on that. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Merusk on July 07, 2005, 07:04:12 PM And I thought I was the only one who found infomercials oddly compelling. You're definately not the only one with shitty taste in Television here. Shockeye has a storied history. I think he has Sledgehammer on DVD. Hey Sledgehammer was fantastic. C'mon, the guy made Heston look sane and his gun talked back! The episode where they nuked the world.. oh so lovely. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Furiously on July 08, 2005, 12:33:09 AM I cut my hair with a flowbie I bought in college to have more money for beer. Now I use clippers.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Signe on July 08, 2005, 01:51:59 AM You don't have any hair.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: WayAbvPar on July 08, 2005, 09:23:21 AM He's got more than I do. Not saying much, but true nonetheless.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: HaemishM on July 08, 2005, 09:31:22 AM Hansen cannot be a geek if he thinks that putting Mario on a Sony portable screen is a "neglibile geek-related image error." Also, he should get steaming crotchrot just for being a douchebag.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Merusk on July 08, 2005, 10:10:20 AM He seems like the type of guy who'd say, "Hey, I'm a geek. I own a Playstation 2 AAAND an X-box," as if that were all that was required.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Paelos on July 08, 2005, 10:15:17 AM Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks?
You people suck. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Shockeye on July 08, 2005, 10:16:54 AM Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks? You people suck. Hey now, I would've been happy to talk about Flowbees, Ronco, and Potty Putters instead. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: WindupAtheist on July 08, 2005, 10:46:43 AM Oh boy, media-interaction stories!
I once had a letter of mine printed in Time magazine, basically telling them to quit sucking Apple's dick because nobody really needs an iMac. I also helped grief the radio show referenced here (http://www.medicaltoys.com/MarilynChambersTT.htm) right off the air. (I worked at a job with lots of unsupervised time, phone access, and nothing but a radio for company. They moved one of my favorite shows for that crap, so I was gonna make them pay!) The audible outrage in their voices when I would sneak onto the air for the second time in one night to tell them they sucked live was priceless. :-D Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 08, 2005, 11:05:55 AM Hansen cannot be a geek if he thinks that putting Mario on a Sony portable screen is a "neglibile geek-related image error." Also, he should get steaming crotchrot just for being a douchebag. Yes, now all of Portland knows that it is I who is the bigger geek. Yessir, I AM that lame! I feel like such a champion. He forgot that Nintendo fanboism is even more rabid than Apple fanboism. How could I NOT throw a tantrum? How, I ask you, how? Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: HaemishM on July 08, 2005, 11:22:46 AM Are we assaulting someone for not being one of God's chosen geeks? You people suck. Actually, I think it could probably be argued as more of a case of him being a really shitty journalist, then turning into a douchebag because he got called on it. The geek-cred factor just ices it. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: WindupAtheist on July 08, 2005, 11:56:15 AM How is putting Mario on PSP a minor geek thing? Anyone even remotely aware of gaming ought to know Ninendo is not Sony. I mean... what? :-P
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Pococurante on July 11, 2005, 11:12:08 AM Yeah, I guess since I quit my job I've lost my excuse. I'll work on that. Quote The important aspect to note here is that Jesus was a friend to these men, and they too were his friends. And women! (http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/inlines/07_stan.jpg) (http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian-07.htm) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 11, 2005, 05:39:11 PM OMG - is that Sean Penn?
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Signe on July 11, 2005, 09:24:52 PM Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Murgos on July 12, 2005, 06:18:13 AM Tell me she didn't just confuse Eric Idle with Shawn Penn. Turn in your geek card, you've been outed.
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Soukyan on July 12, 2005, 08:05:10 AM Tell me she didn't just confuse Eric Idle with Shawn Penn. Turn in your geek card, you've been outed. *snicker* I hardly ever read this forum, but the one day I decide to check it, I am witness to Monty Python blasphemy of the highest degree. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: stray on July 12, 2005, 08:14:59 AM I'm wouldn't consider myself a geek, but yeah, I'd have to say that's pretty bad.
Get an education girl! And Now For Something Completely Different (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0767827724/qid=1121181180/sr=8-6/ref=pd_bbs_ur_6/103-9290478-9411858?v=glance&s=dvd&n=507846) Life of Brian (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6305388458/qid=1121181180/sr=8-3/ref=pd_bbs_ur_3/103-9290478-9411858?v=glance&s=dvd&n=507846) The Holy Grail (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005O3VC/qid=1121181180/sr=8-2/ref=pd_bbs_ur_2/103-9290478-9411858?v=glance&s=dvd&n=507846) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Merusk on July 12, 2005, 10:12:45 AM Stray missed one.
The Meaning of Life (http://imdb.com/title/tt0085959/) He obviously doesn't think every sperm is sacred. Mr. D'eth will be in from the village to see to your bushes shortly. He's a reaper, you know. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 12, 2005, 10:13:43 AM You guys are such a bunch of dorks. I know it's not Sean Penn, it just looks like him in that photo and I was making a joke.
AND I am a geek, but I think Monty Python is insipid. Whoooooops! (And yes, I have watched all that shit, I just don't think it's hilarious. So there.) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: stray on July 12, 2005, 10:15:25 AM You guys are such a bunch of dorks. I know it's not Sean Penn, it just looks like him in that photo and I was making a joke. AND I am a geek, but I think Monty Python is insipid. Whoooooops! (And yes, I have watched all that shit, I just don't think it's hilarious. So there.) OK, you're a geek, whatever. You're still blasphemous though :wink: Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Samwise on July 12, 2005, 10:27:05 AM BURN HER!
(http://www.republika.pl/blog_dx_155120/347799/tr/monty_python_witch.jpg) She turned Sean Penn into a newt! Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 12, 2005, 10:55:33 AM (http://www.republika.pl/blog_dx_155120/347799/tr/monty_python_witch.jpg)
OMG - is that Flea? (in the lower-righthand side of the img) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: stray on July 12, 2005, 10:56:51 AM You don't really need the answer to that, do you? :|
Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 12, 2005, 10:57:57 AM Dork!
"OMG - is that [insert random famous person here]?" is one of my favorite games. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: stray on July 12, 2005, 11:02:50 AM Dork! "OMG - is that [insert random famous person here]?" is one of my favorite games. EDIT: nevermind Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: CmdrSlack on July 12, 2005, 11:03:53 AM You guys are such a bunch of dorks. I know it's not Sean Penn, it just looks like him in that photo and I was making a joke. AND I am a geek, but I think Monty Python is insipid. Whoooooops! (And yes, I have watched all that shit, I just don't think it's hilarious. So there.) Without Python, your precious Stella would be just another show with ambigulously gay subtext. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 12, 2005, 11:06:21 AM The Stella you see on tv is not my precious Stella. The Stella Shorts DVD is.
...wait, does monty python have Negro dildos? I must've missed that. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Bunk on July 12, 2005, 11:36:29 AM BURN HER! (http://www.republika.pl/blog_dx_155120/347799/tr/monty_python_witch.jpg) She turned Sean Penn into a newt! ...he got better. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Signe on July 12, 2005, 12:07:10 PM Ha! I KNEW she was making a joke!
I just didn't get it. Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: Soukyan on July 13, 2005, 07:06:19 AM Ha! I KNEW she was making a joke! I just didn't get it. Because it was insipid. ;) Title: Re: I am WINZZOR!! Post by: voodoolily on July 13, 2005, 12:32:35 PM Ha! I KNEW she was making a joke! I just didn't get it. Because it was insipid. ;) OMG - is your avatar Terrence Trent D'Arby? |