f13.net

Actually, this is true. There's no link.

The weird new smell keeps wafting past my nose and is highly distracting. Did you ever smell someone's head and it just didn't smell right? Like you knew, based on the smell, that you could never be with that person? That's exactly how MY OWN HAIR smells today.

Okay, I didn't feel like blogging and thought I'd post here. Whatevs.

Oddly enough, this applies to my post in the "Ditching" thread. I think the last thing a woman wants to hear is that she stinks....I didn't post that because most people probably wouldn't find it funny.

It's a good way to get rid of someone though.

Edit: Note, I've only said it when it wasn't even true...Just to get an arrogant bitch off my back. I'm not that much of an asshole to say it to someone who really does have an odor problem.

I miss Shockeye's posts.

You do know that you can find 90% of the things he posts on on www.fark.com right?

Or are you just backhandedly mocking Voodoolily and her smelly head?

Transbuddha (http://www.transbuddha.com) usually has some pretty funny stuff, too.

Lily's a contender! I like her posts. But I do miss Shockeye.....Especially considering that I'm partly responsible for his absense (or so I'm lead to believe).

Wait, did Shockeye go somewhere go somehwere, or is he just not here right now?

Thanks for the back-getting, Stray.

You do realize that if you check your posting times, if the stories I post appear on Fark, they are here BEFORE Fark.

So stick that in your Canadian ass and smoke it.

Pwned.

90% of all news on any site can be found on any other site. F13 tends to do it's fucking job and slap news in the forums (both gaming and useless) before most other sites even begin to delve into it. That's why we're a niche.

We care about things no one in their right mind would fucking care about.

And Fark isn't funny anymore. Feel free to read the shit over there though.

"I'D HIT IT"

HAHAHA. Die.

Do you have a day job? Just curious.

Of course he has a day job. But as you can see by response times, he and I both type very fast and can normally respond to something in the amount of time it takes most people to realize they can't divide by zero. Except Vin Diesel. He can divide by zero.

Stinky hair sounds like a problem - hope it's just a matter of changing conditioners. Oddly enough the way people smell does figure in the whole attraction equation -- at least for me.

Some men smell really good -- I can feel a physical reaction (no not that one) when a really good smelling man walks by. And there are a couple of male scents that -- to me -- really border on intoxicating. Can't really describe the scent, I just know it when I smell it. And there was a certain aftershave my grandfather used that I buy because the smell seems masculine to me (despite the fact my grandfather was hardly an example of masculinity).

The smell of women is more often than not a major turnoff to me. Sickly sweet purfumes, the gagging odor of menstruation, and sometimes that slightly fishy smell -- I'm sure these are not turn-ons for most people male or female. But I really don't have any sense at all of what the scent of a good-smelling woman smells like. The closest I can recall is the scent of Shalimar on a winter night -- a strong childhood memory of the way my mother smelled when she went out to some special evening function with my dad.

Good God -- how did I get on this subject...

I don't know where this "fishy smell" thing started, but it's not my experience. A good woman smells like honey and mayo (for lack of a better word). Tastes like it too!

kk, stop.

We need Shockeye now more than ever.

edit: Wait a second. On second thought, why is me talking about pussy intolerable ("in the defense of", to say the least), yet a thousand articles on penises do no wrong?

There's something fishy strange going on here.

I'm canadian :( Don't hate. I idolize you, Shockeye. I even have a poster with your name on it. Yeah, I couldn't find a picture of you so I just had your name printed in a large font on some paper. Almost thought about spelling your name in WebDings.

I'm far too lazy to go back and actually cross-refference post times, so I will have to accept the fact the I've been owned.

Oh and Schild, I certainly wasn't trying to tout fark as being some great Mecca of entertainment. It's pretty much fallen below wrestling sites on my big list of places to visit when I'm bored at work. I will say though, that every once in a while they manage to whip up a pretty entertaining retard battle royales between Christians and Pagans on their boards.

And you are right, this community does care about shit that no one in their right minds would care about. That's why I love you guys!!1!

I suppose you would call that BC Butt?

Incidentally, I could never be with someone who's head smells wrong.

I dated a girl for a while who used some lotion I couldn't take. Eventually I told her it was driving me nuts. She got offended that she smelled bad, but she got over it.

Btw, wth happened to Righ? Haven't noticed him around here in a while.

*No, this has nothin' to do with stinky hair. I just felt like asking*

He's here.  Well, not here in this room.  He's at work in some other room.  If you miss him, you can find him on ER WoW server nearly every night.  He became annoyed with some people and has been shunning f13 for a while.  Most of the people he was annoyed with are not around anymore so I expect he'll wander in again at some point.  He goes hot and cold on forums from time to time.

At least for me, when it comes to female...scents....subtle and soft = better.

If I wanted to be overwhelmed by the scent, I would go find the bottle, kthx.

One of the best smells? Freshly shampooed hair. Totally dependent upon Shampoo/Conditioner of choice, of course.

I like Vanilla and that fresh laundry smell. Like you baked cookies in a robe you just got out of the dryer.

Yeah it's weird, but so what?

The Oedipus thread is that way. *points*

I wear essential oil of fig. It smells sweet, exotic and clean all at once, and is very subtle. I like piny and citrusy smells on guys.

You just told men to wear Old Spice or Brut.

Bleh.

If you want subtle, might I recommend the following - as they don't smell like Dad:

1. Issey Miyake (http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=16485&CategoryID=13182) - Citrusy
2. Hanae Mori (http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P0976&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=C7790) - Citrusy, just barely musky
3. Bvlgari Black (http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P0846&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=C7790) - Probably my favorite cologne. It's 100% subtlety if you don't wear it like you're going to poker night at the whorehouse.

It appears I may not be alone (http://www.singlescafe.net/scents.html)

Hmm.


Yet more proof that men are dumb and stupid when it comes to being anywhere near a women. Sorry girls, 100% of the time I can smell cinnamon. Call it my cinnabun radar. That little decrepit mall-shop makes any man know with 1/100th a brain know why he wants to eat you up with a spoon.

It's because he wants a fucking cinnabun. And now.

Why am I really afraid to take cologne advice from a guy using Fat Afleck for his avatar?

And yes, hair should smell clean on a girl - and never, ever like cigarettes.  *gag*

Yes, yes. I already knew that most men are attracted to the smell of rice krispies treats. It doesn't mean it's not funny.

Y'know what else smells really nice? Old Spice. My dad wore it when I was a kid (probably because I gave it to him for Christmas every year). But it doesn't make me think sex. Thank god for that.

Edit: I didn't check the link, as evidenced to my reference to rice krispies treats. But Fatfleck nailed it for me.

Which is exactly why young guys don't wear Old Spice.

What did I just say?

Oh and men want sex. Sex. Sex. And now they want a cinnabun.

Y'know, though, since many girls grow up without dads these days, maybe you work that whole angle. God, that's utterly deplorable. What am I saying?

No, don't smell like a dad. Ever.

Edit: Ha ha! I had totally missed schild's "what to smell like" post. Sympatico!

Stepmom owns and runs a perfume company. I *think* I know a little about fragrance. Just maybe. A wee bit.


It takes a lot of cigarettes and a lot of sitting still in an area with no circulation to get your hair smelling like Virginia grown tobacco. If her hair smells like cigarettes and you already knew she smoked, you took her to the wrong bar.

Then no one should ever go for that "piny, citrusy" smell you like. That's what dads smell like. Piny. Citrusy. Mess. It's not subtle. It's dad!

Mmmm...cinnabun.../drool.

Aqua di Gio is slightly citrusy. Maybe I should have said "woodsy" instead of piny. Mossy, green scents are pleasant.

Aqua di Gio wasn't bad until every street hood started wearing it.

Let's put it this way: Right now the Japanese really know what they're doing when it comes to cologne. I don't know why. I don't care why.

Though I need to go check out the new Davidoff Echo. I hadn't noticed it came out til I was searching for those 3 earlier.

Yeah, that's true (street thugz). But make no mistake, if you're a skinny geeky guy who smells like an Italian super model, you WILL get booty.

I live in New Jersey at the moment.  I have found that most people here spray themselves with human urine to attract the opposite sex.  I mostly stay home.

Everybody can get booty if they want it.

You will get voluntary, free booty. Is that more specific?

Geez, I get all randy just thinking of my sweetie pie's scent. *blushes*

Heh. I meant that. I don't support the "other methods", y'know. 

Edit: Meeting people of the opposite sex (and sleeping with them) is not difficult to accomplish. Keeping them -- now that's the dilemma. The only reason why people aren't getting laid though, is because they're talking themselves out of it in one way or another.

This thread has been brought to you by the perfume makers of the World.

This thread needs less gay.

You got it!

(http://www.mbrc-racing.com/pics/stuff/2/20_large.jpg)

Much better.

Eeww...you can smell the three-day old used up sponge from here. The borderline mullet n the middle is especially appalling.

Why do they have bike seats?

Because otherwise they would slide down the pole.

I was going to say so perverts have something to smell. But I like Way's answer better.

Hell, those chix are so loose, I bet they'd lose the whole damn bike.

Forget the bike - if we can find my car keys we can drive out!

Stuff like Standards get in the way a lot.

Meeting people of the same sex (and sleeping with them) is also not difficult to accomplish. Keeping them -- now that's the dilemma.

OK -- had enough of the "less gay" -- now this thread needs more homo.

Well...this will have to do...nice lookin' well built guys on the beach...that smell of sea salt sand and sweat...and the possibility of skinny dipping afterward while hoping the ocean doesn't make shrinkage a problem...


(http://photos1.flickr.com/506760_926a6b71c6.jpg)

I think you've surpassed our homo quotient for the next 17 months.

(http://www.russianmontreal.ca/meetingplace/archive/0215/gallery/Gay-biker.jpg)

No, I don't think you've had enough.  Have some more.

Thanks, Signe and Sobelius.

Jeez, that guy on the left looks like he's been out since the McKinley days.

Every time they start filling up the threads with cheesecake, I do my best to punish them.  They only do it because they run out of clever things to say.  It is fitting that they should suffer when that happens. 

Amen, sister.

I have a better ass than that biker, WHO DA MAN?!

Having a better ass than a flabby-assed old leather daddy definitely makes you da man.

Hammy asked, I delivered. I'm like Domino's but with female ass.


Btw, steel wool for my eyeballs after that biker pic plzkthxdie.

Hahahahahahahahahaha... 8-)

OK. I'm just laughing way too much now. [Someone will come in my office and wonder what the hell I'm laughing about.]

OK.

Still laughing.

The assless chaps and thong look doesn't do it for me -- and we need to be careful or they'll post that page with the biker guy who does his own phots and bike stunts and has a curly hair mullet...the steel wool still hasn't helped on that one.

Today is hell of boring for useless news. Again, where is Shockeye to bring it? I spent 3 hours of unbillable time yesterday trying to keep things rolling in his stead.

I'm just gonna keep posting random jpegs until someone says something funny.

(http://www.ualr.edu/axolszewski/images/photo-beer-drinking-squirrel.jpg)

(http://www.chaosproject.com/Humour/dog.jpg)

This is getting a bit close to NSFW....

No way. This is completely SFW. That racoon mounting the dog picture looks like something from 1926. It's got history!

(http://www.lewrockwell.com/wallace/cat_wasted.jpg)

Biker ass + yiffing or whatever noise racoon's make = bad!

"Monica and Chandler! Monica and Chandler!! Oh my eyes! My eyes!!"
- Phoebe Bouffet

(http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/15.jpg)

(http://www.mcbmrdd.org/SPO2004/special%20olympics%20016.jpg)

Does that shirt say Mensa?

Is that a girl? Or worse, would someone actually give their retarded son a Prince Lancelot haircut?

err.. Prince Valiant was the poof with the hair.  Lancelot was the womanizer with the French perfume.

Has nothing to do with lowering your standards and everything to do with selling yourself short. That's the problem with people. Not their cologne.

*"Your" and "Yourself" not meaning you, but in general*

I apologize to any Canadians, other than Bunk, who I might have offended with my comment. I am very sorry and will drink a cup of maple syrup to atone.

I probably will not be posting useless news until next week sometime due to complications with my son's surgery. He's currently in the pediatric intensive care unit due to respiratory problems which will hopefully clear up over the next couple days. He's a brave trooper and the thought of coming home to his gamecube and playing Mario Tennis for hours on end is big motivation. If you need useless news before I get back, just go to Fark since I obviously steal everything from there.

To everyone that has a problem with useless news or me in general: you are a bunch of whiny bitches and deserve every bad thing that happens in your life.

Toodles.

Best wishes on your son's recovery.

Holy smokes, I've known Shockeye for many years, and I've never heard him apologize for offending Canadian’s before!

If there is anything the Ms. or I can do to assist you or yours - DO NOT hesitate to call!

SnotBag

Thank you sir, may I have another.

Thoughts are with you Shockeye, and your son. May he recover well and quickly, and beat the next level of whatever he's wanting to play!

Much love and best wishes for a speedy gonzalez to wee mini Shockeye sprog.  Let us know how he's doing.  I'm thinking happy thoughts about him.

Yep, here's to a speedy recovery.

Shockeye you and yours are in my thoughts.  Best wishes.

I would like to point out that for some reason the fact everyone is posting their wishes in a thread started by voodoo about her odd smelling hair seems strangly fitting.

Once again....

PWNED.

And good luck to l'lil Shocky. Hopefully his status is temporary.

Take all the time you need Shockeye. We're rooting for your son despite the possibility he may grow up to be just like you! Bless his little Gamecube-shaped heart.

Hey Shockeye, all my best to your son. Here's to a quick and speedy recovery.

The PopTart and myself are praying for your little tyke, Shockeye. We WUV U!!!  :-D

Yes, Mr. Eye, wish the lil' tyke a get-well-soon. I, in your stead, shall inundate everyone with ridiculous threads and off-putting imagery.

Edit: Update! My hair has either stopped smelling or my nose is desensitized to the foreign odor. Hoorah!

Hello Mr.Snappy.

Okay so I haven't posted much because well, I have no one to troll and I'm not going to start the day off with a troll post so I'll be sweet and all happy. You, Mr.Eye are one of my faaavvvvooourrrriitteee F13ies. The husband and I can only say that above all, that little boy is strong of spirit and heart and we have faith that he will return home stronger, healthier and feeling better than ever. Your entire family, and especially the little one remain in our thoughts and prayers and if you need anything at all, we are here. Please keep us up to date, if and when it is possible.

Many Hugs, No Trolling Posts and a Big Chips Ahoy Cookie.

Ana.

DOH! No *wonder* what's left of my hair started smelling odd today -- I kid you not, it smells like gasoline. I don't know how it happened but I'd cry if it weren't so funny. I used a Tea Tree scalp scrub on my beautiful bald pate this morning. I don't use it often but have never had it smell like gasoline before. I guess that means I have stinky scalp. I've warned my coworkers not to light matches near me. I do not want to become the office "flaming head". I think someone else around my office has that title anyway.

I generally find the antiseptic odor of tea tree oil to resemble gasoline or some other phenolic substance. Very medicine-y.

Who's the flaming head, anyway?

I truly hope your son gets well.

I fear your return, however.  Your powers of Useless Newsgathering are unparalleled and frightening.  You clearly are in league with either Satan or Fox News.  (zing!)

Edited my post -- just realized "around here" sounded like I meant "here" here instead of "my office" here.

But flaming head would fit some folks here, no?

Usually the Tea Tree smells pepperminty for a little while, but not what I've been smelling today :(

Thank you all for your kind words and wishes. My son has been improving and is up and walking a little bit today. They are slowly trying to get him off the oxygen mask and we will hopefully get out of the PICU in the next day.

I had to take my daughter in to see her doctor today due to a rash that's been lingering for 3 days or so. Turns out she has strep. Strep + rash = scarlet fever. This is the second time she's had it. Ain't life grand?

Personally, I think this is all a conspiracy by the Illuminati. They are trying to silence me.

The Illuminati don't try, they just DO.  This is more like the Knights of Columbus.

All the same, hope your kids both get better soon.

I told myself I wasn't going to bring this up, but Shockeye, I think I may have you beat here. On March 28 (i.e., 3 or so weeks ago) my mother, who had been feeling under the weather for a few weeks, was diagnosed with colon cancer. SHe died on April 7. Her mother survived breast cancer in 2002 and was diagnosed with lung cancer last November, which resulted in the removal of 2/3 of one lung. Last Monday my mom's sister was diagnosed with acute leukemia.

NEedless to say, I've made an appointment to get quit-smoking scrips and will have to start having regular colonscopies starting at age 35, instead of after 50 like most people.

Cancer FTW!

You just have to be a topper, don't you? Sheesh.

Sorry to hear about everyone's troubles.


It is nice that you can turn to your hobbies to take your mind off of things.

(http://www.soulcare.org/Creation/monkey_sick10%25.jpg)

Feel better everyone.

Heh. Luckily, they put you under for the procedure, but you have to drink 2 bottles of some horrible stuff that cleans you out. My mom evidently barfed out the first bottle when trying to do this. Whee!

Actually, it's kinda fucked up: losing my mom was wierd/painful and everything (she was only 49), but right now I'm more freaked out about the multitude of ways the human body can just go to shit, just like that. I have major lifestyle adjustments that need to be made, and that pisses me off.

This thread needs kittens.

(http://talgov.com/citytlh/animal/images/kitties.jpg)

Haemish has rabies?

Lily,

Wow, I am so sorry Lily, for the loss of your mother. I cannot imagine living without my own. For your family, I wish the sincere best of health, strength and happiness. And please get checked often.  When I think of the things that might be hereditary in my family it scares me into a major panic attack.


Shockeye,

I am -very- happy to hear about your little boy and of course my wishes for health and happiness to your daughter as well, may they both recover fast and this be the last of their troubles for a long, long time.


PopTart

I'm sorry, Lily, for your loss.  It makes me very sad for you as I think about my mum and I miss her every day and it never goes away.  She was my heart.   I hope everyone gets better and feels better soon. 

Damn, Lily, very sorry to hear about your mom.  I hope your grandma and aunt are ok, and you too of course.

I'm not good at saying sensitive things, so I won't. I lost my Grandfather, who I was very close to, to cancer a few years ago - so I empathize with you.

Here is a picture I took of my puppy last weekend:

(http://photos.photosig.com/photos/94/28/1502894-0ddad8fe6f5ac987.jpg)

Hmm..

I wish you the best Lily and strength to walk the road your looking down with your life changes.

I have good fortune to have both my parents still, though my dad had open heart in 90 and has walked these past years with a pacemaker/defib device.

Glad to hear your news Shockeye, may your boy grow strong.

Aww...you guys! I wasn't fishing for sympathy at all. In fact, now I'm a little embarrassed that I even brought it up. But thanks.

Wow. Scarlet fever, huh? I didn't think people even caught that anymore. Tough break for the little girl. She'll be fine after a round of antibiotics, though, no?

Hey, don't sweat it. Boards like this thrive on sharing stuff like this. I think it takes the edge off of some of the hatred we spew at one another on most days.

We lost an actual regular posting member on "the other board" not all that long ago, and I think the resulting love-in thread was theraputic and appreciated by everyone involved.
I could go in to the whole "Global Village" thing here, but I won't.

Then when the mood passes, we all go back to insulting each others religions, jobs, countries of origin, crappy spelling, sexual preferances, etc.
It all balances out.

Fuck your dog, he looks ghey.


....



Don't take it personally, I'm just anxious to 'get back to normal."

I love dogs.

If you ask me, that dog looks like he could kick some ass.

Eh, sort of. He does weigh about 145 lbs., but he's almost eleven and has two gimpy knees.