f13.net

No one will actually ever play Ubisoft's We Dare in any fashion even remotely resembling this promotional video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxd96qRa6wY

No one who actually resembles anyone in that video will ever play Ubisoft's We Dare.



What will happen:

Extremely desperate gamers will fap to the thought of playing We Dare.

A few people will buy We Dare and put it in a closet so that they can fap more intensely due to its proximity.

Some teenage boys will find We Dare an easy way to "accidentally" have a homosexual experience with a buddy.

Fox News will report on the menace of We Dare. Maybe featuring an outraged grandmother that accidentally bought it for her grandchildren and end up feeling obligated to do the strip-tease challenge.

Oh, I think there's probably a niche crowd for this at least. The Wii has awfully deep market penetration (no pun intended), it reaches a lot of people outside the group we usually think of as gamers.

Yes, but it doesn't reach into their pants.

This is not what I expected.

I thought this was a thread about a WoW appearence tab.

What, you've never played a naughty game of Twister?

I think you might be surprised.  I know a lot of people that'd play something like this.

Am I the only one who though the first ten second set up for that video resembled the start of a porn?

Edit: wow i iz good at grammar

SHOCKED!  :grin:

Does it come with hot chicks like in the commerical?

Answer: No.

No one in their right mind would put their mouths on a wii controller...would they?  :ye_gods:

I'm a little worried because apparently you have to stuff the same controller into your ass crack for the spanking game.

By myself, or with others?

That's not unintentional, it's the point.  The whole thing was supposed to make you think it was leading into an orgy scene.   That's not a bad thing as it's the target market for the game.  The swinger scene isn't as small as you'd think and it's probably getting bigger as teens experiment. 

Great. Thanks a lot Merusk. Now I'm stuck imagining all sort of unseemly things that Wii controller is going to be up to.

10 seconds of watching it at work without sound is already enough; almost lost it!!!

They're still not going to want to put the wiimote in their ass, then hand it off to someone else for them to gently nuzzle.

I'm sure MadCatz will make good money selling Wiimote condoms.

The fuck?  :uhrr:

USK 12 rating...

Seems to go perfectly with the Wiildo accessory. 

 :ye_gods:

I didn't know headbutting a Wii-mote was so much fun.  Look how happy they are.

I think I'll stick to tried and true wine and liquor.

:oh_i_see:

Ubisoft continues to earn my dislike.

What fucking cloistered ad exec thought that commercial would in ANY WAY be a good idea? Or indicative of any sort of gameplay whatsoever?

It think it's a pretty accurate view of how Japanese executives view white people parties in America. It starts with dinner and ends with an orgy.

I need new friends apparently.

Ubi are French. But okay. We'll blame the Japanese execs.

Cue "that's how the French have parties" comment.  :why_so_serious:

It works for cocks, why not the wiimote.

Rimming is the BJ of the 21st century.

Well so much for that joke. It's another reason to hate Ubi though. Bastards.

I cannot find it now, a few years ago there was a WoW ad with ladies at a bar talking about how much they loved playing.  It vanished quickly.  The thread title and contents are the same theme. 

I believe the proper technical term is "ass to mouth".

(maybe they limit it to rimming at these lukewarm british office parties?)

So who is going to BIIF this one then?  :grin:

Good think the Wii already comes with a plastic cover.

Also: The Wii is not a foreplay device. Never has been, never will be.

Not that people ain't trying (http://mojowijo.weebly.com/)

EverQuest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr-FkWsvEcg

SOE is really bad at TV.

It's time to slay the dragon! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-CHG_To7Ag)

Those are painful.

Hey, you are right, it was EQ.  Still bad.  Maybe worse. 

Wasn't that an Everquest ad, with some pretty skanky girls in a bar who had pretty clearly never heard of Everquest until about 5 minutes prior?

"It's time to SLAY THE DRAGON!"


edit - I should maybe probably refresh threads before replying occasionally.

It was my understanding that ass to mouth and rimming are two distinct things. Ass to mouth doesn't actually involve direct contact between the ass and the mouth; rather it describes the location of the phallic component in sequence. First ass, then mouth.

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/46/126386070_8dfb2f1e8a.jpg)

Yes; i was referring to the remark how "they're still not going to want to put the wiimote in their ass, then hand it off to someone else for them to gently nuzzle" which sounds more like the former, not the latter.

Then again, i don't really feel like getting a Wii to verify it...

Indeed, I think you have some legit ass to mouth action there.

This thread started out in a terrible place and yet has managed to become oh so much worse.  :ye_gods:

That ad and this thread are 3 and a half minutes of my life I'll never get back...

Apparently, 'We Dare' is one piece of Ubi Wii shovelware the US won't have to worry about (http://wii.ign.com/articles/115/1152147p1.html).

I thought it was awesome(ly funny), actually.

Also, Aussie release!  :awesome_for_real:

Lum has somewhat improved version of the ad on his site, btw.