f13.net

who is schild? what does he do and where is he from?

I remember my first days on f13, i saw schild and thought he was some internet badass who roamed the plains, raging about mmorpgs with haemish. Soon would be the times to come when my image of schild would be skewered. Was he jewish or a half-breed? I saw his pic and was stunned. He wasn't such the internet badass I had hoped and dreamed for. Possibly a closet :cry: :pedobear: holding an etna figurine he scavenged off the table scraps of a NIS booth?

For shame I thought. The man who I had once highly regarded as having quality taste :uhrr:, for years he complained about more diku and non-diku mmorpgs than calories comsumed by lum daily, had in fact not the greatest taste as I had once presumed. Forsooth I say, for the day came when one Eric Schild became a texan! the hail had ruined his car, where is this man at now? He was a weeaboo, so it wouldn't be long before he returned to the den of glorious nippon  :drill:

Shocked as I may be, the current evolution of schild had gone from a neackbeard to a  :pedobear: then a texan and finally he had become a hipster with praises for such games as ICO, SotC, SMT and Atlus before they were cool and especially Heavy Rain. Does he speak of Heavy Rain these days? Surely not. Where has schild disappeared to? Does anyone of the f13 forums suffer from the rare condition known as, the micropenis? It's no longer cool to be around here because there are no more hipster video games being released? Schild has gone missing and there is a void in my life at the constant knowledge of the missing schild.  :heartbreak:

Didn't read the actual post, but from the title
 :facepalm: :popcorn:

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert...

Wow. And I thought my drunken ramblings were bad. I'm not even going to try to compete for that high score.

How unintentionally toothless this whatever this is is

Has anyone ever been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Greatest spambot ever?

It's like a DLRiley post with more relevant words and even less sense.

Yes.

Seriously, I was flaming Schild harder than this five years ago.

wat

You're missing or something. Someone should find you.

I think you got yourself one of those love to hate you stalkers.

DLRiley and Grunk had a love child, obviously.

Given that he mentioned SoTC, ICO and SMT... this guy took years to finish this post.

"Mewling and adorable, in the style of jack thompson's picture-book ranting which substitutes smileys for clip art from google images. Leaves the audience wanting more, so that at the very least it could be determined what the intent was, like if you were trying to figure out if a kitty was really actually angry at you, or just tired and confused"

This is new and exciting - bots trained on forum-mined information and mimes. Very close to believable, I have had hard time picking out pre-fab parts out of the post.

 :uhrr:

Is it self-aware?

The first ones were made of rubber;  they were easy to spot.

Wut wut?

Still, the smiley recognition technology is a marvel...  or something...  to behold.

Fuck all of you.  This guy is the real deal.  He's clearly lurked for at least a year or so in preparation for this troll.  I demand a proper response to legitimize this turd.

This thread deserves a wider audience  :awesome_for_real:

Also quoted for posterity :drill:

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/99701/1215703161184.jpg)

Schild Starfucking?   what's next?

He plays EVE Online under the name "Jade Constantine".

That post was far too coherent and short to be written by WALL OF TEXT Constantine.

I don't recognize any of those acronyms. Unless SoTC is "Spirit of the Century". However, if it's a spambot, I'm heartened to know xkcd's firm belief that spambots will eventually evolve to making coherent, positive contributions to conversations -- and then become non-objectionable -- is on track.

That's considerably better than the average. Still fails the Turing test, though.

ICO is just Ico, I think. SotC is Shadow of the Colossus, and SMT is Shin Megami Tensei.

SOTC is Shadow of the Colossus.

Anyway, here's the whole story:
Started playing Magic again (seriously) and have been going to tournaments almost every weekend.
2011 has been one of the worst years for games that actually make me turn around and go "OK, I'll disappear from real life for a week."

Catherine, Demon's Souls 2 (haha), and other games are coming out next year that'll get me more excited about stuff. Fallout New Vegas is fun but it's almost not worth talking about (what's there to say, really?). MMORPGs are universally bad and that's not my fault.

I keep wanting to play Magic, but remembering that I enjoyed building decks more than I enjoyed playing, and also I failed out of college because I was having a bit too much fun playing Magic. OTOH, I was 18 and really stupid. Now I'm much older, and not quite as stupid.

Plus, I prefer playing it with real people -- the online stuff just doesn't cut it, and none of my real life friends is willing to dip their toes back into CTGs at this point.

I guess I'm a little luckier than you -- I have a large backlog of games to finish -- Fallout 3, Bioshock, Assasin's Creed to just name a few I own but haven't played or finished yet.

I prefer playing Magic with real people that I already know, and all the people I know quit playing a long time ago. 

Send me your cards then.

Seriously though, I've made a lot of friends playing Magic. There's also a lot of people I'd never ever want to be friends with playing Magic, but pounding their faces in during a tournament and then watching them shake is, well, pleasing.

The only thing better then playing with friends is going to a tournament and completely shit-stomping some trash talking arrogant idiot that just dropped hundreds of dollars on the latest "unbeatable deck".

I sold them all a long time ago, or I would.  I don't even think I have a single deck left. 

I should really dig out my cards and sell 'em. I know I have beta cards and stuff from the first two expansions.

Any good human troll of Schild would have involved mentions of "twitch" and "I am legend, be there."

I've been tempted to get back into MtG, but I just cant bring myself to do it (i've only got a shitload of Ice Age and a buncha theme decks now - since my 1st printing cards [shivan dragon, lotus, and all that] got stolen).  I've fooled around with LCGs to try and fill the void (the latest being Warhammer: Invasion) but it just doesnt have the same psychotic pull.  Lately I've dumped all of that and just gotten back into board/rpg-gaming (deckbuilders like Thunderstone are fun; Ironically, in the long run both hobbies probably end up costing the same.),  since there's nothing but shite computing-wise.  
What's the flavor of the day anyways right now??  Monsterpocalypse or some such?


What's the value of your beta and 1st edition stuff y'think?

I played Magic once, and the smell of BO coming from across the table was enough to make me never play again. That and the fucker ate half a pizza I'd bought for someone else entirely.

Donate them to f13. (seriously, whatever *I* don't use, I will convert to money [where/when possible] and put into the paypal account - this goes for anyone on the board).


You stop right there.


I played basketball for years and the BO was worse than any Magic tournament I've been to. Seriously though, I suppose the BO varies at the level of competency with the game. Low-level crap comic book shops tend to cater to folks that are going to be worse than your hipster douche who plays at a high level. It's just not the same crowd.

Also, D&D. Never compare the two, Pen and Paper (and Board Game) nerds have it all over the Magic nerds, at least in Austin. They take the fat comic book guy stereotype to the extreme. Some of the Worst. People. Ever.

Do you ever wear Affliction with aviators to the tourney tables?  :awesome_for_real:

How is Austin anyways? I always get the impression that it has a high hipster quotient.

I wear a brown affliction hoodie sometimes. It's soft and comfy. I don't wear aviators ever. I have Oliver Peoples Cobans and some janky old sunglasses (prescription) that stay in the car.


Massive hipster quotient.

Their hoodies are good. Those designs can be too much on a short sleeve shirt sometimes. I get my pima cotton from Alternative Apparel now. I'm all about boring solid black tees. All I need now is a spray on marshmallow scent and the effect will be complete.

edit: charred black marshmallows?

I didn't know schild had a magic cards addiction. We can beat this together.

Lets all play the next ultra-shitty f2p4op$s that comes out with schild.

When I was playing Magic, it was a bar game. You'd bring your deck out bar-hopping, lots of people were doing it. While it was obviously nerdy, it wasn't obvious nerds (bo/comic book guys). Had some really good times with it, but everyone quit because a) eh, it was a fad and b) WotC are money whores who can't stop dicking with the rules.

You should just count yourself lucky that you aren't in fucking San Antonio.  The fucking troglodytes that come out for any of the above down here put anything you might see to shame.

Deleted a post about Ebay pricing as 1. It's not any sort of meaningful indication as to the price of _any_ cards and 2. This thread is (apparently) about me and Magic), not Ebay and magic.


I think you mean ANYWHERE else in Texas.


It's not really a fad, it's bigger now than ever before (and only getting bigger). Also, the dicking with the rules is about balance. Complaining about it is like complaining about patches to an MMOG or balance to a 2-D fighting game. /shrug

My stuff's mostly from the Dark expansion and one or two after. Lord knows if I can remember what the hell's out there. I still have a black weenie, a death-by-ornithopter red/green, a white weenie, and some weird blue-denial deck I never had quite all the cards for built, and a box or three of commons, uncommons, and rares from that time period.

I enjoy playing, but like I said -- no one around here plays, and I'm too damn busy to do anything but online play. (And I stopped that back with their last 'upgrade'. Did they ever fix that shit?)

Have to agree on the not being a fad point. I've seen it in various stages for years being in and out of favor. People take long breaks then it comes right back. Was the most popular game in my cafe for over two years, and we were right next to a major bar. Some of the guys who came in to play only came in to play and never came in otherwise and would just stick to the bar.

Here now we have a group of guys who play in alot of the roomier bars on and off. Someone just brings in some cards and more times and not someone feels like playing a quick game. Rules never seem to be an issue. House rules. And thank god for smartphones on the rare occasion we can't come to a consensus.

I had much, much better luck in Dallas finding reasonable people that are into that kind of stuff. 

schild, I believe you just live in a college town.  A nice one, sure, but I remember people like that from my days playing MTG at Auburn.  You played MTG in neutral territory, if possible.  Damn cheating, unwashed miscreants.

It's possible to substitute "D&D" and "MUD" for "MTG" in the above.

Yeah, but it's Dallas.  Not worth it.

I sold all my cards for like 5k almost 12 years ago.   I think I have a complete set of Ice Age still around though.

Let's get back to the important bits, if Schild is a half-breed, what are the 2 halfs?

Weebo and Jew? Jewbo? Weejew?

Potato.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/85916/pringle_yarlmulke.png)

I have a bunch of cards from Tempest and a few sets after, that era ... my older decks don't stand much of a chance against modern cards ... they've sped the game up quite a bit ...

As my friend group goes through various stages of playing or not playing, I've been getting some newer stuff and re-vamping decks, etc. Can't say we play all that often, but it's always good for an evening of entertainment.

I don't think I was ever a weaboo. I don't own any fucking hats with cat ears, that's for sure. There are more damning things to label me with anyway.

What kind of car did you get?

Also the direct identity of no sex thus magic the gathering is fascinating.

As your friend, I'll say you gave the appearance of skirting the line.  Of course, you didn't come close to going full retard with it, so no.  Plus you play other games, so definitely not.  There's a lot more going on with you than what is apparent in the forums.

Not that there's anything wrong with weeaboo. :awesome_for_real:

2007 Civic SI, stock.

What? Confused.

I'll have you know M:TG led directly to me getting tied to the bed by a rather cute woman. Of course, she was also -- as it turned out -- crazy. Not the good kind.

Until I grasped that, I had a lot of fun. Occasionaly, M:TG was involved. (She'd been part of the group I'd basically just sat down with and said "What the hell are you guys playing? Is that a dragon? Awesome".).

Sadly, the crazy came and that ended. We still played magic, but the naked time came to an end.

I like a good crazy story.  Please elaborate.

It went "Oh, did I mention I was dating a guy back home? ANd he's 6'3" and fucking psychotic? No, you did not. Perhaps the time to inform me of this was at the part where we had sex. Or perhaps even prior, especially since until the 'tied up bed' part I wasn't even thinking romantic thoughts towards you, other than the ones caused by being 19. Which are, admittedly, a lot".

After that, it got into pseudo-stalking "Why aren't we dating anymore?" Answer: Because you're in a relationship with a highly jealous, huge fucking guy whom I have NOW MET and who is at least half Grizzly Bear, and it's not an 'open one'. Also, you're high maintaince and seem to be totally getting off on the drama and I suspect this ends with you accidentally 'slipping', letting Mister Grizzly know we've slept together, me getting my face pounded into the ground, and then off having hot "He really loves me and demonstrates it through his Roid Rage" sex with your half-bear boyfriend.

Luckily, a friend of mine helped me out by  playing the "jealous girlfriend come to steal me back" (Her idea, when I told her "Crazy Stalker Drama Chick With Troll Boyfriend) That apparently satisified crazy's inner-drama queen, and about a month later I could stop worrying.

I'm not a small guy, but her boyfriend really was like some freak of nature, and defintely of the super-jealous, beat the shit up sort.

I love how this troll post turned into a Q&A with Schild.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/85916/cool_starry_bra.jpg)

 :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real:

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mUT4smw1FmY/R-BMHhVfXtI/AAAAAAAAABw/kQah5-UftJA/s400/bowman.jpg)

Tap for blue mana?

Good call. Similar situation happened to a friend of mine in the fraternity house when he hooked up with a chick like that. Her boyfriend came into town and threatened to kick the shit out of him until about 10 of us wandered out to the front lawn to see what was going on. Said boyfriend left promptly. The girl was obviously pissed she didn't get the show she wanted. Chicks like that need to be slapped around by other chicks.

It's probably better than some of the other options. 

I really wish real life was more like Television and this was the f13 reunion episode. Bruce, Grunk, Geldon..etc all come back to have one last laugh with Schild.

That would be CLASS.

Are we being canceled?

No, but we are being moved to the 9PM slot on Fox Fridays.

Wow, fucking win.

If so, I hope the final episode is better than Seinfeld. 

With the line up just mentioned I'm voting for a Black Adder Goes Forth ending (sorry Schild).

I'm thinking the final episode of Newhart.

Hah.  That was a great ending.

He could just pull the plug on the site mid-post and pull a Sopranos.

Being fairly new to f13, I'm curious ... how, when, and why did this all begin? Is schild really the one who can be many places at once?  What do the various colored user titles mean? Is there a FAQ somewhere I should have read to learn all this? Am I alone?

LightBlue = admin
Green = Moderator
Chartruese = Wiki guy (Nix)
Blue = Someone who wrote reviews or was formerly one of above
Red = Game Dev
Pink = Cheddar (because he is crazy)
Yellow = WUA (because he is another level of crazy)

Two Wikis rather than FAQs.
One for the pregenetors, Here (http://wiki.onlinegamers.org/index.php?title=Main_Page)  Irrelevant for most things anymore and hard to navigage.  If there's a meme like "A company is at steak" or "I disagree with what you said" its origin is probably on there.  (Except the company one apparently isn't.. Hrm.)
One for F13 itself, Here (http://wiki.f13.net/index.php/Main_Page)

OLGWiki makes me sad. :(

Minor edit.  Great thread!

I think it's actually "Most Prolific"

I asked schild once in the old IRC channel why Cheddar's name was pink (after Cheddar had just left said IRC channel). His answer: "Because he is fucking crazy."

One man's crazy is another man's sanity.

Pretty much. He got on IRC one night while drunk demanding a custom title with a custom color with the stipulation that it be anything but pink. So I made him a custom title with a custom color... :drillf:

Do I need to set up shop on Formspring.me for you all?

Back during WT.o times, there wasn't anyone that wasn't shitting on him hard.

Yea, that worked out.

I hung around Arcadian's after Slow News Day went up in a dramabomb and pretty much missed the whole Waterthread era. Was it fun?

Anyway as far as colors go:

White = Cracked sash or something, leave on floor
Blue = Okay if you're a newb, maybe sell to the vendor
Green = Broadsword? Fuck another Isenhart's Lightbrand, Jesus
Red = Need repairs
Pink = I dunno, hax?
Yellow = Totally awesome

Waterthread was great. Then Joe handed it over to some scary art-critic. I knew it would drama bomb soon after because hey that guy he gave it to was a wanker.

Sometimes its really nice being totally wrong about people and your ability to predict the future.

I guess it's pretty bad if you think WUA and Cheddar aren't really that crazy. 

I've been WUA's biggest fan since the earliest days of 2005  (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=4881.0).  And really, since before that, but I can't prove it.  So suck it fags.

I only came back eventually because they fixed my name. Fuckers. The ironic part was that the whole kerfluffle was over my relentless trolling of butthurt Whedonites after Serenity tanked, and not... you know... some Jedi/Ultima/religion shit.

I hate Whedon, but I thought it was funny.

Hey bro, you're hurting our feelings!

Are there any "diaspora" sites still going? Or have they all died out? Is QT3 considered part of the chain?

I thought Serenity was pretty decent but it was still some satisfying trollage. Months of seeing it beat whatever Batman or Harry Potter or whatever the fuck was coming out in worthless internet polls left me aching for some schadenfreude.


Cracked Sash should be the new Terracotta Army.

Also, does Corpnews still count as going? It doesn't look like it.

Corp is dead, that's what happens when you have an elitist attitude to new posters contributing to old conversations, while schild is more tolerant than he is opinionated, I don't think many people expected that.

The last I remember of Corpnews from a few years back is Poppin, Ras and Boog roaming the forums trying to be as smug as possible.

Tolerant's not quite the right word - is there a word that means "not giving a fuck about until they cause spontaneous stupidity?"

Apathetic.

No, it was tolerance. Any of the current staff can confirm that the dumb but mostly harmless get a pass from me, whereas others would string them up and gut them.

Believe it or not, schild has always been the voice of reason and tolerance.  I can vouch for that.  Many of you would be long gone otherwise. :why_so_serious:

The only thing I remember of Corpnews is raping their collective faces in UT2K4.  :drill:

I liked the one guy that did the news roundup.  We should have that guy.

I actually miss corpnews.   :|

It was the main place I hung out after waterthread broke up and merged with Schild, who was a whinny art faggy dick at the time*.  Lots of good people over there, and in the early days, it really was the main successor site to the ltm community. But yeah, conversation died out as the ultra elitism seeped in.  I started posting more and more on this board until I realized I just wasn't posting on Corpnews anymore because there was nothing really left to talk about, because so few people left were posting.  We should really see if we can at least drudge some of them up for a fantasy baseball league next year.  I had fun playing in the corpnews league, and you assholes couldn't be arsed to start one for F13.  Maybe if we combine the remains with the few interested here, we can get one going, you lazy fucks.

*Note:  Schild is and always will be a whinny art faggy dick, with horrible taste in film.  But he's also actually a really cool and generous person, as I found out when playing MTGO and other games.  And a hell of a lot better at managing a god damn simple internet forum than apparently anybody else in the community.

Bring back the morlocks (http://web.archive.org/web/*/themorlocks.com)!

 :grin:

I have lists.

Found the next big WikiLeaks scandal!

Can it really be a scandal if it's information everyone knows but gives a wink and a nod to?

Absolutely based on the 'It's all just diplomatic gossip but the guy that released it should be assassinated' response Wikileaks got. Rasix can release his list, we'll all go, "Well obviously DLRiley's a semi-sentient perl script' and then Schild can have him assassinated give him a pink name.

I think that is a bit of a stretch, don't you?

The "sentient" part ?

Daffy was just a misunderstood freedom fighter trying to liberate his own people and cast into a bad light by the fascist media propaganda.


Also, he was black.

Ooops, here comes Butthurt Theatre. :oh_i_see:

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/85916/jokerpopcorn.gif)

I kinda miss Corp too, mostly because I was gaming buds with Somebob for years in ATITD. Most were ok. But if you wanna crap on someone's opinions, you have to be ready for them to crap on yours in return eventually, and a lot of the mods there didn't realize that and would get all butthurt and whiny.

Morlocks though was always pure awesome.

Someone should register nerfsrentalhouse.com for the next fracture.

More like nerfwhatever.livejournal.com imo.

I've considered starting goddamnitwhyiseveryonesofuckingincompetent.com - I'd never run out of content as long as I have some sort of public interaction every day, but I'd drive myself crazy writing about it instead of just promptly forgetting about it until the next time.

 :heart:

Whar's the Bucs helm?