f13.net

Please die in a fire.

Thanks,

Nerf

Someone certainly hates Grand Theft Assas Assassin's Creed.

No, I loved about 98% of it, therein lies the problem.

I've been there before.  It's much easier to put down a game that has absolutely no merit, but when it's a good game with a single, agonizingly bad design decision, that's when it channels hellfire to the gaming cortex of my brain.

Which awful design decision are we talking about?  I hope it's the sci-fi, racial memory DNA reconstruction bullshit!

Actually, I thought that part was executed flawlessly, and their little explanation with the birds migratory patterns and whatnot will surely baffle stoners for years, it's the current timeline story that was horribly executed and left so unfinished it seems like they just shipped it without finishing.

I totally thought that this was going to be a thread about how Lowtax is being sued for being insensitive to Jade. Google the comic yourselves, i ain't linking it here.

(http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/7904/360whitetq1.gif)

Haha, oooh.

Am I the only one upset that he went out to buy a game about assassins messing up the Crusaders' day and instead got that wrapped up in a schlocky sci-fi/paranormal shell?  Seriously, having the camera go all cloudy with nucleotides every time I pick something up or complete a mission is REALLY annoying.  I find that it destroys the whole tone of the game, which is otherwise awesome.

Have you finished it yet?

Not even close.  It's test week =(

Ah, yea, you would love it then.

I don't like it either. I especially don't like it when instead of Assassinating their motherfucking, I'm directing some tool to his bedroom so that I can see a subtitle that says 'The next morning'.

Can someone explain this mysterious pic? Google isn't working; all I get are normal face shots and such.

Just view the Web page results instead of Google images and you'll see plenty of descriptions of what was the comic shows.

Yar, Digg did it.

Seriously, I wonder why Ubisoft would even dignify this with a response.

But hey, at least the...artist, drew her kinda cute minus the spooge, of course.

Your game feels so good! UGGGGGG! :awesome_for_real:

Well I haven't played it yet, though I probably will; But yes, I'm irritated by the exact same thing. The fact that Ubisoft had something really cool and they just couldn't help themselves from pulling all sorts of Matrix bullshit.

I actually liked the whole schlocky sci-fi shell, it goes further to explain why you have a HUD of any sort without breaking immersion than any game I can think of, and it's giving them an entirely new yet still connected storyline for the sequel.  That's not the problem, the problem is that they could've given another 10-20 minutes of gameplay to flesh out the new storyline ever so slightly and I would've been fucking stoked, instead I feel empty and dirty, I bet this is what rape feels like.

The comic is stupid, but she and Ubisoft pretty much deserve it.  Every picture I've seen of the "developers" shows her prominently on display, while everyone else is cast in the shadows like they're a crew of Morlocks.  Live by vagina marketing, die by vagina marketing.

It's not that much stupid, as much as it gets it's point across SA style. Comes with the territory :)

Its Ubisoft.  It won't stop them from making more forgettably average games in the future either way.  :oh_i_see:

What's funny is apparently the lady whose entire journalistic career was founded on doing things with a Rez Trance Vibrator has spoken out in whatsherface's defense.

OOokay!

I haven't found the it either, but it sounds like I'm not missing much (http://kotaku.com/gaming/assassin.s-creed/ubisoft-threatens-something-awful-over-jade-comic-323946.php).

Digg "assassin's creed comic", I found it pretty quickly.

Edit: It's funny, but it could've been a hell of a lot funnier, fucking hacks.

heh, managed to find that comic good chuckle.

HAHA! Take that Jade! That'll learn you to be pretty and following a career in game development! How dare you as a producer stand up and present the game you worked on after management said it'd be a good idea! You deserve to take multiple facials in a webcomic because you hogged the limelight, unlike all those other games where everyone who works on it gets equal billing and stage time! You're only there because you're pretty, because game studios have plenty of cash available to hire a pretty woman to pretend to develop a game and appear in interviews and photoshoots! You whore! Hopefully the next comic that comes out has you doing something REALLY DEGRADING! HAHA!

 :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:  :uhrr:

Motherfucking christ. Lord help the first prominently gay developer of a major game and the webcomics he'd get.

Interestingly Unsurprisingly, the original comic appears to come from deviantART

http://teh-dave.deviantart.com/art/Buy-Jade-s-Game-69521746 (link is safe for work at this point, but clicking on 'Download' is very very NSFW)

UPDATE - that page has been pulled.

It's by Chugworth. There's no "question" of where it came from.

All of the articles I've read mention incorrectly Lowtax as the creator, whereas you're right, it's David Cheung aka Chugworth. I guess he's got a letter coming to him from Ubisoft too, if he hasn't already got it.

David's art is pretty recognizable. I dislike the misinformation being spread about this though.

Well he's certainly not claiming credit. (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2686438&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1)

Huh?


http://chugworth.com/

Pretty straightforward to me.

Pretty much the funniest letter ever.

I just meant the articles unsub is reading are in error.

who?

Jane Pinckard (http://www.gamegirladvance.com/).

Apparently we have two threads (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=11434.0) on this now, albeit this being the more obscure one.

I'm honestly not sure what the deal with Jade is.  If it turns out she really is a booth girl whose Creative Director title is a total sham, she deserves that comic and more.  However, if she actually has contributed to shaping Assassin's Creed, and it's a good game that benefited from her creative vision, then I can only wish flaming gonorrhea on anyone that would slander a good game designer just because they're female and not bad to look at.

She's not a designer, she doesn't programmer, and afaik has no artistic talent (unless you count a sweet ass as artistic talent).

She's a producer.

And anyway, why is SHE the problem if she's just a pretty face the company slapped on the game?  Shouldn't Ubisoft itself be the target of ridicule instead of the pretty girl who was offered a sweet load of cash to be pretty and talk about games?

Phil, your description makes her sound like a whore.

A whore is just a woman who sleeps with men for money so she can afford to take care of her children.  Or her drug habit.  Either way, there is nothing wrong with whores.

She's a producer with some programming experience. She worked for Sony as a lowbie developer before she ever became a producer (for EA, then Ubi). At the very least, she's got a CS degree and isn't completely ignorant. She's hot, but not booth babe material.

There's a hotter producer chick working for Microsoft. Big deal.

I think the problem is putting her out in front like she is Miyamoto, or Cliffy B (snicker), or Sid Meier, or Dickie British when its clear its mostly just OOH LOOK PRETTY GIRL IN GAMES marketing.  A producer isn't all that.  (Warren Spector's contributions as a producer being the notable exception.)  Everyone else who busted their ass on the game for good or ill doesn't seem to matter.  Just one rather attractive lady.

Some people have reacted negatively to dumb pandering advertising.  The Internet, while full of stupid, also has enough monkeys at enough keyboards to see through bullshit from time to time, and being able to see through usually means having lots of free time and limited social skills, and thus meanspirited (but funny!) things like this comic o controversy come to life.

And like most instances of butthurt online prove, fighting minor slights just let EVERYONE know about it.  As a kid who was picked on in school and now understands this, its not the abuse that is the reason or the desired outcome.  Its the (admittedly understandable) reactions that provide the real amusement.  Its why so many people bash furries.  Their reactions and outrage provide most of the reason for the continued abuse.  (Not that they aren't  :uhrr: in their interests mind you..)

I and most people who waste time on the Net would have never seen nor heard (or honestly cared) of this little comic that takes about 30 seconds to read, chuckle, then normally disregard if Ubisoft hadn't pulled out the lawyers and started crying about it.

In doing so they all but asked YTMND, Fark, Ebaums, SA, 4Chan, and any other place where memes and meanspirited humor is popular to spread this across the land like a death pod that comes from the sky.

I didn't hear about it until the two threads on here. Having seen the comic, I can see her being offended by it. The cease-and-desist shit, though? That was epic stupid, and guaranteed to make what was really a small issue a whole fuckload worse. The Internet hates a crybaby as much as they love torturing a crybaby with bruised labia.

Poisoning the well (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_the_well) and you.

Jane's post on GGA (http://www.gamegirladvance.com/archives/2007/11/16/jade_raymond_is_for_real.html) seems to let Ubisoft (and the press) basically off the hook because they're just using Jade for her good looks to drive sales (and/or traffic). You can't blame "men" as a whole for what's honestly a funny critique of Ubisoft's marketing campaign, this isn't fucking Nuremberg, it's a comic.

The thing that drives me crazy about all this (more so from GGA than the article linked in the other thread, the URL is "Femsite.us" what are we to expect?) is that how one can make statements like these within miles of each other:


When you just said a few paragraphs up...


How do you get off letting two estates go free (one you're a member of and the other your mother's milk) and instead you decide to go after those "cowardly losers on the internet"? It baffles me... wait, no it doesn't because one doesn't give a shit about internal consistency when they're out for blood :awesome_for_real:.

On the plus side, this whole mess let me find out that Chugworth Academy came back online. Yay!

I just beat this game 2 days ago. I'm planning a trip to their Montreal office. I've also frozen my shit in a Tupperware container to show them my gratitude for that ending.

"Thanks for coming.  Just throw it in the pile over there."

Were you guys able to unlock the other 2 laptops? (Head Dr's and Conf. room), I'm thinking maybe it had somthing to do with the flags.  I was only able to get access to the chicks one from the password pen left on the animus.

It has nothing to do with flags. The Dr's laptop is accessed by walking up behind him and stealing his pen. From his laptop you get access to the conference room one too.